We’ll Fight Them ‘Til Hell Freezes Over

The Addams Family Cruz

“We’ll fight them, sir, ’til hell freezes over, and then, sir, we will fight them on the ice.”

This is a civil-war era quote from a Confederate Soldier, and it comes to mind today because the great uncivil Wingnuttian War has begun. The mouth-breathing paste-eaters are turning on each other, and it is great fun to watch.

As you may have read, periblepsis-looking, high-pitched whiner Senator Ted Cruz has surrendered defunding Obamacare, after making it his life’s work to have the lower house (ie, someone else) legislate to defund it:

“Harry Reid will no doubt try to strip the defund language from the continuing resolution, and right now he likely has the votes to do so. At that point, House Republicans must stand firm, hold their ground, and continue to listen to the American people. ”

The reaction to his perfidity has been fast and furious, to borrow a phrase:

Rep. Sean Duffy:

House Republicans have stood firm. We have voted to defund, repeal & delay Obamacare dozens of times. It is time for Sens. Cruz & Lee to show they can hold the line against Senate Democrats.

Let’s hope they do not surrender before the fight even begins.

Rep. Ted Griffin:

So far Sen Rs are good at getting Facebook likes, and townhalls, not much else. Do something.

Rep. Tom Price:

House Republicans are turning words into action to defund #Obamacare. Ball will be in the Senate’s court.

Rep. Lynn Westmoreland:

Senate R’s already declare defeat… before the battle even begins. So much for standing up for the American people. http://t.co/ukEU7CtSmg

So what about Saint Ronnie’s Eleventh Commandment, “thou shall not speak ill of a fellow Republican”? – Fuck that, I guess is the new motto.

Pass the popcorn. This is gonna be fun.

Hysterical Fail Fails Hysterically

I swear this ad would have worked if the Evil Unkka Sam had been replaced by an Evil Clown, or a Hockey-mask wearing doctor, or something. Instead I just laughed. Unkka Sam has the same rictus grin as Traitor Joe, so the whole thing is just one hysterical, hilarious fail.

UPDATE: Yes, gentlemen, here’s one for us:

News Briefs

News you can use all day

(Petunia and Pals) Hey, did you know that there is a Tea Party News Network? And did you know that they have a director? And that the director has a low-grasp on reality?

  • Why the Orange Man Weeps - Businessman Eric Gurr is challenging Weepy for the speaker’s congressional seat. On his website, Gurr states: “I am thoroughly convinced that the best foreign policy is to have no foreign policy at all.” I think we have found a Ron Paul devotee. (Cincinnati)
  • Weepy 2: Electric Boogaloo - Weepy McDrunky is spinning as fast as he can before the monkeys attack and his donors retreat:

  • History repeats itself, again - Looks like the Mormons are involved in another Marriage Equality fight, this time in Hawaii. (Good As You)

Compassionate Conservatism, cont.

Atlas-Shrugged

If I were not so amused I would be appalled:

Give Back? Yes, It’s Time For The 99% To Give Back To The 1%

I’ll let you read it in wonder and amazement. Essentially, this mugg, Henry Binswanger, tells us that we should be grateful that the 1% let’s us live at all, we should know our place, and dammit, we should be grateful that they just don’t Galt-like disappear and let us microbes wallow in our own filth.

Kiss my pretty pink ass, Henry Binswanger.

It’s rather breathtaking, and a worthy read if your blood pressure happens to be trending low. I know of at least one person in Ft. Wayne NJ who was revived from being clinically dead just by having someone read the opening paragraph. It’s true.

(Forbes)

Happy Hour News Briefs

News straight-up

Ttongsul connoisseur Dr. Chaps says that “Obamacare causes cancer.”

  • Hey Reince, How’s That Rebranding Workin’ Out - Jim Rubens New Hampshire senate candidate says that more women in the workplace led to more mass shootings. “Them broads,” he did not say, “they’ve been trouble since the fall of Adam.” (BuzzFeed)
  • What’s our buddy Scott Lively Up To These Days? - You know, he’s a busy man. He’s working to kill gays in Uganda, and promoting anti-gay laws in Russia, and he just recently discovered who the Antichrist is, and you’ll never guess:

    So who is the Debbil working with to bring on his dark victory?

  • THIS:

    Generation Joshua is a Xristian Xrazie home schooling grift (Home School Legal Defense Association) that sends kids to work on “races across the country, phone-banking, literature dropping and campaigning on behalf of conservative candidates” who oppose abortion rights and gay equality.

    Quite an education… and nice to see that Ken Cuccinelli is not above starting a Children’s Crusade to get elected.

People’s Front of Judea vs. Judean People’s Front

It’s the Teabaggers vs. The GOP:

teabagging for jeebus

Leadership sources tell me the House will soon vote on a continuing resolution that simultaneously funds the federal government and defunds Obamacare. Speaker John Boehner and Majority Leader Eric Cantor are expected to announce the decision at Wednesday’s Republican conference meeting.

This means the conservatives who have been urging Boehner to back a defunding effort as part of the CR have won a victory, at least in terms of getting the leadership to go along with their strategy. But getting such a CR through the Democratic Senate and signed into law will be very difficult — and many House insiders predict a “Plan B” will emerge in the coming days.

Here’s how my sources expect the gambit to unfold: The House passes a “defund CR,” throws it to the Senate, and waits to see what Senator Ted Cruz and his allies can do. Maybe they can get it through, maybe they can’t. Boehner and Cantor will be supportive, and conservative activists will rally.

But if Cruz and company can’t round up the votes, and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid rejects the legislation, the House leadership will likely ask Republicans to turn their focus to the debt limit, avert a shutdown, and pass a revised CR — a stopgap spending bill that doesn’t defund Obamacare.

Two laugh out loud moments and a series of chuckles: But getting such a CR through the Democratic Senate and signed into law will be very difficult and Maybe they can get it through, maybe they can’t. That is sheer comedy gold. But if Cruz and company can’t round up the votes… No “if” in the history of writing has ever had to work that hard. Solid chuckle material.

(The NRO, the most intellectually dishonest rest stop on the information super highway)

The Day John McCain Wept

Iran hints at nuclear compromise

Supreme leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei gives sign that new president Hassan Rouhani may hold direct talks with US.

Iran’s supreme leader, Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, has given the clearest signal yet that the country’s newly elected president and moderate cleric, Hassan Rouhani, has the authority to conduct direct talks with the US and offer compromises in nuclear talks.

mad-dog-popeye

Quick! Someone bring Sen. Huckleberry Closetcase his smelling salts, a cold compress for Traitor Joe, and get The C-word into a shelter, STAT!

(The Guardian)

News Briefs

News you can use all day

Famous neck with a mouth Chuck Todd declares that The Kenyan Usurper would be a lame duck already except for the ineptitude of the drooling paste-eaters of Wingnuttia.

  • Your Daily Gohmert - “I see a lot of problems here and blaming this on guns is like saying the big problem with obesity is we’ve got too many spoons. It’s not the spoons, it’s not the guns. It’s the people who have them.” (Raw Story)
  • The Coffee Generation - Starbucks has reversed its previous policy and is now a gun-free place. “The growing frequency with which advocates appeared at the shops with guns to celebrate “Starbucks Appreciation Days” alarmed Schultz, who argued that the demonstrations made some customers feel uncomfortable and gave off the mistaken impression that the company opposed gun safety measures.” (Think Progress)
  • Gun Safety - A Michigan man was accidentally shot several times in the neck and head and killed at a gun range in Chicago. (Livewire)