The man who thinks about hot, sweaty man-on-man sex with thighs like pistons that can pump all night Matt Barber has a sad following the liberal goings-on at CPAC:
A chorus has begun. What is this? Have party-goers launched an impromptu rendering of “America the Beautiful”?
No, this is a chant, joined by scores – a hundred or more perhaps – of young conservative bacchanalians on multiple suite balconies and from the open air bar below. What is that they’re chanting? Is that, “Amer-i-ca! Amer-i-ca!”?
At first, it’s hard to tell. It’s a booming echo that reverberates throughout the entire hotel.
And then it becomes clear.
Alas, our next generation of conservative leaders are not chanting, “Amer-i-ca! Amer-i-ca!” They are, instead, chanting, “F**k O-bama! F**k O-bama!”
And I hang my head.
So, now, children at the hotel, parents, staff, tourists – both foreign and domestic – and every other conceivable variety of guest who happens to be staying at the Gaylord National hotel during CPAC 2014 has a skewed, and likely irreversible, first impression of America’s conservative movement.
Or is it skewed?
Actually, Matt, that chant seems to be the summary of the modern conservative movement. Do go on.
attendees, both young and old, are as appalled and embarrassed by these drunken yuck monkeys as am I.
But I think the very fact that these blazer-clad, Cro-Magnon morons could even imagine, for a moment, that it’s somehow cool to publicly chant “F**k Obama!” – or “F**k” anything for that matter – speaks to a much larger problem, not just within the conservative movement, but, more importantly, within our entire culture.
Gee, Matt, maybe they are just paraphrasing former VP Blam-Blam when he said something similar on the floor of the Senate a few years back? You know, as a tribute to a great statesman? Also/Too Yuck Monkeys: Genius.
I’m never going to win a popularity contest. It’s not my goal to be liked. I’ll probably never be a “Fox News contributor” or even broadly recognized as a dutifully compliant cog within the greater, GOP-heavy “conservative” political wheel.
It’s good to set achievable goals, Matt. They say that recognizing the problem is only the first step to solving the problem.
That’s because I say things like this: There is no political fix to America’s death spiral.
I bet you get all the chicks in the dorm with deep lines like that, you should carry a copy of The Bell Jar, too.
We are drowning in a turgid river of postmodern relativism. This is a spiritual problem, not a political problem. This is a worldview matter, not a partisan matter.
Turgid: 1 bombastic, pompous, overblown, inflated, tumid, high-flown, puffed up, affected, pretentious, grandiose, florid, ornate, grandiloquent, orotund; highfalutin, purple. ANTONYMS simple.
2 swollen, distended, tumescent, engorged, bloated, tumid.
Libertine libertarianism has infected the conservative movement like a cancer. Situational ethics, driven by emotional, anecdotal sob stories, are used to justify every moral wrong as an absolute right. “Get off the social issues!” they demand. “Gay marriage? No problem.”
Says the man telling a national audience a sob story about conservative millenials chanting an obscenity at a public venue. Also/too: cancer is not infectious.
These gun-toting, free-market “conservatives” (of which I’m both) grace us with beauties like this: “I’m a ‘pro-choice,’ ‘pro-gay’ conservative,” or, “Yeah, I’m shacking up with my girlfriend, big deal.”
“Do you have thighs like pistons,” he did not ask as a thread of drool didn’t escape his gaping maw. Interesting how his imaginary rhetorical conversation is with some dude about his slut girlfriend, but not talking to the slut about her libertine boyfriend.
Relativism blurs the fixed lines of demarcation between right and wrong, which leads to the abolition of absolute truth, which leads to pockets of moral anarchy, which leads to Barack Obama and Eric Holder deciding which laws to ignore and which laws to enforce, which leads to lawlessness, which leads to chaos.
“Betcha didn’t know that giving your slut girlfriend the ol’ quick-quick led to all that, now did ya?,” Barber did not say. “Let’s talk more about your piston-like thighs, shall we,” he did not add.
Welcome to chaos.
Yes. The “social issues” matter.
The battle is not Republican vs. Democrat. Neither is it conservative vs. liberal. The battle precedes time itself. The battle is right vs. wrong. The battle is moral vs. immoral. The battle is truth vs. the lie.
The battle is between good and evil.
The battle is between oil and vinegar, between peanut butter and chocolate, between Elmer Fudd and Daffy Duck, between red and white wine…
We’ve been playing political Ping-Pong for decades.
Your arms must be tired. What’s the score, by the way?
We’ve been, as they say, rearranging the chairs on the Titanic while Democrats take the helm for a spell, and Republicans take the helm for a spell.
Can you squeeze in another cliché, Matt? Are you paid by the word for this?
The reality is that both political parties have driven us into the iceberg, and then pranced off together, hand-in-hand, to play best-of-three racket ball at the congressional bathhouse.
BOTH SIDES DO IT! Gah! And it seems they are doing it in a Congressional bathhouse on an iceberg. The End.
(World Nut Daily)