Today’s Endorsements!

The Hills Are Alive With The Sound of Slaughter

The Hills Are Alive With The Sound of Slaughter

Canadian-born latino and immigrant-hating southern white supremacist Senator Ted Cruz has received the much-coveted endorsement of Larry Pratt’s Gun Owners of America:

While there are many candidates in the race, Ted Cruz is the only one who has completed and returned the GOA presidential survey on the Second Amendment.

Wait, wut? That’s all it took?

Oh, crap:

“Ted Cruz has promised gun owners that, as President, he will remove the United States as a signatory nation to the anti-gun Arms Trade Treaty — a U.N. treaty that would fully implement a system of gun owner registration if ratified by the U.S. Senate.

“Ted Cruz has promised gun owners that he will repeal anti-gun Executive Orders that circumvent Congress and veto anti-gun legislation if it reaches his desk.

“As a U.S. Senator, Ted Cruz has demonstrated a willingness to fight for our Second Amendment rights. He is working with GOA on legislation to repeal the Obama Administration’s gun ban that is (and will) affect millions of military veterans and senior citizens.

“He has opposed efforts to reward millions of illegal aliens with citizenship and voting rights, given that the majority of them are anti-gunners who have ignored and flouted our laws.

“He has cosponsored legislation to allow concealed carry reciprocity for law-abiding gun owners. This legislation (S. 498) is of special importance to GOA members and activists. It is one of our chief priorities in Congress.

“This election season is quickly becoming the “year of the outsider.” And to that end, Ted Cruz has been able to “speak truth to power” as a member of the U.S. Senate.

“It was Senator Cruz who in July of 2015, blasted the Senate leadership for lying to fellow Republicans and the American people. Not only that, just a couple of months prior, he stood on the Senate floor and asked “what exactly is the difference between a Democratic and Republican majority?”

“Cruz blistered the leadership for failing to block the confirmation of President Obama’s executive and judicial nominees. In particular, Cruz noted that the Republican leadership could have — and should have — blocked the confirmation of anti-gun Loretta Lynch for Attorney General.

“It’s obvious that Senator Cruz follows the Constitution, not a political party.

“It was Senator Cruz who led the filibuster fight in 2013 against funding the anti-gun ObamaCare law, which will facilitate the disarmament of millions of gun owners once the law is fully implemented.

“While there are many problems with ObamaCare, Cruz recognizes how computerizing the medical records of millions of gun owners will allow the federal government to troll those names and add millions of honest gun owners to the NICS system — in the same way that the Obama Administration is currently using medical information to disarm military veterans, and proposing to do the same with senior citizens.

“Ted Cruz has promised to sign a bill to completely repeal ObamaCare as President. To that end, he has already introduced S. 339, which would repeal the health care law “as if such Act had not been enacted.”

“Finally, as we said above, one of Ted Cruz’ chief concerns as Senator has been the creeping “judicial tyranny” in our nation. We need a President who is going to rein in the courts by appointing judges who reject the notion that our Constitution is a “living and breathing” document that can be twisted to support any crackpot agenda that anti-gun liberals like Harry Reid or Nancy Pelosi advocate.”

So… it was the ad where he cooked bacon on his gun, right? that clinched the deal!

Posted in 2016 Goat Rodeo, Guns! Guns! Guns!, Ted Cruz, The Pride of Canada | 3 Comments

Your Daily Gohmert


GLENN BECK: I just got an email from Louie Gohmert. He said, last week I announced to the world if the House and Senate will treat Iran — the Iran treaty as a treaty, I will not run for my congressional seat again. It’s the only thing that I have left that our leadership wants beside my integrity. And after last week that I spent in Egypt, I feel so compelled to do absolutely everything I can to derail this president’s drastic move towards a nuclear holocaust. I won’t run again if the House voted on my attached resolution and the Senate voted on ratification.

We gotta hold Screwie Louie to this promise. Thank you Jeebus for this gift we are about to receive.

Posted in In their own words, Screwie Louie Gohmert | 6 Comments

From The Legal Mind of Mat Staver

They say in time you get the face you deserve. Kim Davis got Dick Cheney's.

They say in time you get the face you deserve. Kim Davis got Dick Cheney’s.

“To force someone like [Kim Davis] to give a license for something that will legalize, that will put a stamp of approval on something that is absolute rebellion against God, sinful, then that is a direct collision of unprecedented magnitude,” he continued, saying that requiring Davis to do her job is like requiring her “to grant a license to engage in pornography, to grant a license to sodomize children or something of that nature.”

Posted in Homophobia, marriage equality | 9 Comments

Media Whores Whore Media

The fetus fondling god botherers have a new target:

In case you were wondering, yes, that guy in red is indeed our old pal and Jeebus’ coach Dave Daubenmire. The gent in the Jeebus hat? Yup, that’s Phillip Benham, the convicted abortion-provider stalker and father of the Frosted Tip Twins.

Posted in Homophobia, marriage equality | 6 Comments

The Morning Quote

Deep foreign policy thoughts from Marco Rubio

Marco ‘Big Gulp’ Rubio, the Cold Warrior for a New Generation, and beloved grandson figure of Wingnuts over the age of 65 and under the age of death,

“We’ve always been a country that has been willing to accept people who have been displaced and I would be open to that if it can be done in a way that allows us to ensure that among them are not people who are part of a terrorist organization who are using this crisis. The vast and overwhelming majority of people who are seeking refuge are not terrorists, of course, but you always are concerned about that.”

Posted in 2016 Goat Rodeo, immigration, Marco 'Big Gulp' Rubio | 3 Comments

One Lump of Stupid or Two, Reince?

teabagging for jeebusWe’re pouring the morning cuppa for the RNC’s Reince Priebus as we are sure that watching the rebranding go up in flames must be similar to a 3-alarm hangover, and when it comes to rebranding Mr. Priebus is in a glass of his own. Let the hangover pounding begin!

“Mr. Cruz […] will fly down early and then take questions from the press around 1 p.m. Mr. Huckabee’s event will start around 2:30, and feature Tony Perkins of the Family Research Council and Mathew D. Staver of Liberty Counsel.

“Both candidates have been among the most vociferous in supporting Ms. Davis. Mr. Cruz released a statement after her arrest that called on “every believer, every constitutionalist, every lover of liberty to stand with Kim Davis.””

Or maybe the metaphor should be that the rebranding is sinking like the Lusitania?

““It is important to Sen. Cruz for Kim Davis to know that he supports her and will do everything in his power to ensure her situation is resolved and that no other Americans who strive to live out their faith fall victim to religious persecution by the government,” Cruz spokeswoman Catherine Frazier said in a statement.”

Or as Uncle Sugar, the low-rent Elmer Gantry makes his sermon, should the rebranding be more aptly like floating way on the Hindenburg?

“Today, I ask on behalf of Kim: “Under what law is she authorized to issue homosexual couples a marriage license?” Can you site the specific right in the Constitution? Is there a statute, passed by Congress that actually says that the five unelected lawyers in the majority of the court’s opinion were right to throw out the very definition of marriage and make up one on their own?

“…Will we continue to pretend as though the Supreme Court is the “Supreme Branch” with the authority and ability to make laws? It most certainly is not. The Supreme Court is one of three co-equal branches of government under our Constitution. It is no more the “Supreme Branch” than it is the “Supreme Being” with the authority to redefine the laws of nature or of nature’s God!

“…I refuse to sit silently as our Constitution is torched and the courts violate our fundamental rights. We did not fight a revolution against the tyranny of one unelected monarch so we could surrender our freedoms and abandon our Constitution to the tyranny of five unaccountable, unelected lawyers.

“This shredding of the most fundamental civil rights of our citizens cannot stand. I will fight for, and protect, the religious liberty of every American. This will go down as a seminal moment in American history if we do not free Kim Davis now and make sure this never happens again.””

Here’s the essential take away, Reince: you’ve lost control of the party that you purport to lead. Your candidates from Y’all Qaeda have now alienated each constituent that you were trying to attract: blacks, hispanics, women, and now youth.

Hey, maybe there is one last metaphor to consider:

Heckuva job, Reince. Heckuva job.

Posted in 2016 Goat Rodeo | 6 Comments

Bad Signs, Cont.


Someone got a degree in marketing for that sign.

(Hat tip: Scissorhead Patrick Bjork)

Posted in Bad Signs | 3 Comments

That’s Gonna Leave a Mark

They say in time you get the face you deserve. Kim Davis got Dick Cheney's.

They say in time you get the face you deserve. Kim Davis got Dick Cheney’s.

This program was on Fox News, and so you know that Y’all Qaeda was watching it, slack mouth and steam rising.

Not only does the entire legal panel agree that Gawd’s Own Filing Clerk Kim Davis broke the law and deserves to be in jail for contempt, but they call her grifter counsel Mat Staver—of the noted SPLC hate group Liberty Councilstupid and they suggest that she was in it to be a martyr.

I guess this is one of the ways we know that it is a holiday weekend and Roger Ailes is someplace having his ball joints greased and his blood changed?

Posted in Homophobia, marriage equality | 5 Comments

Eiron, the Goddess of Irony, laughed so hard she farted, Part Infinity

Is this performance art or trolling?

*Bangs head on desk waiting for sweet, sweet relief.*

Posted in 2016 Goat Rodeo, Scott 'Hot Ham' Walker (R-Koch Industries) | 8 Comments

Old Man Yells At Cloud

Maybe now that Blam-Blam is being de-fanged—by Fox News no less—for his many failings and lying about them afterwards, maybe the media will stop inviting war criminals on teevee?

Hahaha, I jest.

Posted in snark | 7 Comments