Blam-Blam to blam-blam to open season

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(Lander, Wyo.) – This week marks the return of the annual One Shot Antelope with teams coming to Lander for the hunt from across the country.

The annual hunting competition pits eight teams of three against each other on the opening day of the antelope season. Single-shot harvests score points. Among ties, the team to get the harvests in the quickest time comes out on top. The hunt itself will be held in the early morning hours of Sept. 21.

This year’s big named guest is Vice President Dick Cheney. He’ll be hunting with Gov. Matt Mead on the Wyoming team.

“We’re honored to have him here,” One Shot President Terry Martin said, as he paid his life insurance policy. “Sweet Jeebus,” he did not add,”I hope my wife doesn’t remarry.”

(County 10)

Buh-bye Larry Summers!

Larry Summers

Summers has just withdrawn his name for becoming the new Chairman of the Federal Reserve:

“I have reluctantly concluded that any possible confirmation process for me would be acrimonious and would not serve the interest of the Federal Reserve, the Administration or, ultimately, the interests of the nation’s ongoing economic recovery.”

But not to worry, I’m sure that President Carebear will find some other Clinton-era retread to take it on.

We should give a big thank-you to the Democratic members of the banking committee: Sherrod Brown, Jeff Merkley, Elizabeth Warren, and Jon Tester. They announced rather loudly that they would not support Summers, and The Kenyan knows that the Republicans will not help him no matter what, so this shows that when the feckless and spineless Dim-o-Crats focus, they can get good stuff done.

If you missed it…

The Carebear surrenders

ABC has the full transcript of the interview with President Carebear from This Week with a Greek Dwarf. The part on Syria is actually pretty fascinating and slaughters the claim that Putin saved his ass:

GEORGE STEPHANOPOULOS: And you’re- and President Putin has become your unlikely partner-

PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA: Yeah.

GEORGE STEPHANOPOULOS: -in this. And, you know, even in this op-ed, which has stirred up a lot of controversy here in United States, he said, “There’s every reason to believe that the rebels are the ones who used the chemical weapons.” So does that tell you he’s willing to lie to protect Assad?
PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA: Well, nobody around the world takes seriously the idea that the rebels- were the perpetrators of this—
GEORGE STEPHANOPOULOS: He wrote it in The New York Times.

PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA: Well, I understand. What I said is nobody around the world takes seriously the idea that the rebels perpetrated this attack. Now what is true is that there are radical elements in the opposition- including folks who are affiliated with al-Qaeda, who, if they got their hands on chemical weapons, would have no compunction using them in Syria or outside of Syria.
And part of the reason why we’ve been so concerned about this chemical weapons- issue is because we don’t want- those folks gettin’ chemical weapons, anymore than we want Assad to have chemical weapons. And so the best solution is for us to get them out of there.
But- with respect to Mr. Putin- I have said consistently that where the interest of the United States and Russia converge, we need to work together. And I had talked to Mr. Putin a year ago- saying to him- the United States and Russia should work together to deal with these chemical weapons stockpiles, and to work to try to bring about a political transition-

GEORGE STEPHANOPOULOS: But do you trust-

PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA: -inside of Syria.

GEORGE STEPHANOPOULOS: -he has the same goal? Do you really trust that?

PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA: Oh, I don’t think that- Mr. Putin has the same- values that we do. And I think- obviously, by- protecting Mr. Assad- he has a different attitude about- the Assad regime. But what I’ve also said to him directly- is that we both have an interest in preventing chaos, we both have an interest in preventing terrorism, the situation in Syria right now is untenable, as long as Mr. Assad’s in power, there is gonna be some sort of conflict there, and that we should work together to try to find a way in which the interests of all the parties inside of Syria, the Alawites, the Sunnis, the Christians, that everybody is represented and that there is a way of bringing the temperature down so that- that horrible things that are happening inside the country-

GEORGE STEPHANOPOULOS: Are you-

PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA: -are continuing to happen.

GEORGE STEPHANOPOULOS: Are you -

PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA: And I think there’s a way for- Mr. Putin, despite- me and him having a whole lot of differences, to play an important role in that. And so I welcome him being involved. I welcome him saying, “I will take responsibility for pushing my client, the Assad regime- to deal with these chemical weapons.”
Because- I think that if, in fact- not only Russia gets involved, but if- potentially Iran gets involved- as well in recognizing that what’s happening there is a train wreck that hurts not just Syrians but destabilizing the entire region-

So… a year ago he was trying to get Putin to do something about Assad’s chemical weapons, he got the Russians to promise compliance with the destruction of their client-state’s stockpile, and maybe more importantly he got the Russians to admit that Syria has a stockpile and acknowledge that the Syrians used them. He got them to admit that they have been lying about Syria. Not bad for a guy whom the Wingnuts claim is out of his depth.

I would call that a pretty big success, and especially if we don’t end up bombing that country back into the stone age. Oh, and Grandpa Walnuts can suck eggs.

This moment of stupidity…

Obama-gibbs-facepalm

…is brought to us by The Gateway Pundit—“Another Obama Failure:Russian Man Brutally Raped and Tortured For Being Gay After Obama Met with LGBT in Russia”

During the G20 summit in St. Petersburg, Obama snubbed Putin by cancelling their meeting and instead met with LGBT activists in Russia. Many were worried about the political repercussions for the activists because Obama’s visit with the LGBT might fuel the growing anti-Western attitudes in Russia. The LGBT in Russia was not entirely pleased with Obama’s visit.

Now video of a Russian man being tortured and raped by 6 or 7 “vigilantes” was released. The vicious attack occurred a week after Obama met with the LGBT in Russia.

Yes, James Hoft the dumbest man on the internet is blaming The Kenyan Usurper for the horrific assault a gay man in Russia endured.

There is not enough face-palm in the world for Jim Hoft. There just isn’t.

Homeland Shmomeland

I love Homeland so much, that it screamed PARODY ME.  Carrie, the spy fucking, emotionally unstable, chin quivering, easily brought to tears, CIA agent. Her father boss, Saul informs the team to turn the sound down when Carrie and Brody are fucking. He turns a blind-eye to her egregious misconduct. Instead, he’d rather coddle her like an infant- or like the strapping soap opera hero that he’s not. Carrie’s faithful lackeys in the van or her apartment, can’t wait to surveil anyone at a glance or in-depth. Then there’s Maude Quinn, a shady newb (black ops, perhaps?), running the operation (this past season) and everyone’s nemesis.

My love swelled to epic proportions, so I co-created and co-wrote, LAW OF THE LAND, a series that follows PHOEBE ROSE QUACKENBERRY and her team of earnest misfits, ferreting out terror loving terrorists (Sip-Sip) in a country unknown for terrorism, the Bahamas. Sip-Sip’s goal is to blow up THE HATCHET BODY SPRAY FACTORY. Will they succeed? Dah, dah, dah… Only two more episodes and we will have the answer or not.

LAW OF THE LAND stars outstanding comedic talent, Ron Lynch, Matt Kirshen, Samm Levine, Chris Walsh, Baron Vaughn, Brendon Small, Phil LaMarr, James Urbaniak, Matt Besser, Tom Sibley, Matt Kaye and Doug Mellard.

We had the good fortune of an exceptional director, David Avallone who directed all 5 episodes.

FKR.TV, David Cross’ new company bought the show and executive produced it.

LOTL has been written about in the LA Times and made its way to the Nerdist’s Top 5 Intentionally Funny Videos of the week twice. How fortunate, right? Right!

WATCH EPISODE THREE, NOW ON FKR.TV

For your viewing pleasure, check out the first two episodes, Don’t Stop Believin’ and Who’s Cryin’ Now (are you seeing the pattern in the titles?)

One of the things I love most about the MPS crowd is that youse are brutally honest.

Thanks for watching!

Weekend Word Play

klingon face-palm

We’ve all done it. We’ve all slipped and said something we wish we could take back and replace with a better, kinder phrase. So for our innaugral Weekend Word Play, we will talk about it.

But… because Scissorheads are the funniest people on the ‘net we are going to set it up thusly: Tell us what you should have said first, then tell us what you actually said.

Brevity is the art of wit, so no context (it should be obvious from the what-I-should-have-said and what-I-said combo), don’t set it up.

To prime the pump, so to speak, here is my kick-off (just happened this week, eeek!):

  1. “Your new hair’do’s cute!”
  2. “Don’t worry, it will grow out.”

Here’s another example (my Dad really said this):

  1. “Congratulations!”
  2. “Who’s the father?”

Have at it in the comments.