That Didn’t Take Long

Hello, My Name Is Stupid

Hello, My Name Is Stupid

Meet The New Boss, Same As The Old Boss


Objects in Mirror Are Closer Than They Appear:

“This is not the way to do the people’s business,” the Wisconsin Republican said. “And under new management we are not going to do the people’s business this way. We are up against a deadline – that’s unfortunate. But going forward we can’t do the people’s business. As a conference we should’ve been meeting months ago to discuss these things to have a unified strategy going forward.”

Yup, the Zombie-Eyed Granny-Starver Paul Ryan just let us know that he is as afraid of Y’all Qaeda as Weepy is.

Today in Republican Hostage Taking

Wingnuttia Takes Itself Hostage

Wingnuttia Takes Itself Hostage

Wingnuttia is taking itself hostage: House GOP Moderates: If We Don’t Get Paul Ryan For Speaker, We Might Quit!

“De­pend­ing on how this shakes out, you may see some Main Street mem­bers re­tire,” Sarah Cham­ber­lain — chief op­er­at­ing and fin­an­cial of­ficer for the Republic­an Main Street Part­ner­ship, which supports moderate GOP lawmakers — told the National Journal. “They’re hop­ing for a Ry­an-type can­did­ate. But if it’s not and it be­comes a huge mess, why be sit­ting here?”

Popcorn, anyone?

Popcorn, anyone?

I swear to blog, the comet Haley Bop needs to swing by to pick up all of Y’all Qaeda’s death cultists. but in the meanwhile, Popcorn anyone?

One Lump of Stupid or Two, Paul Ryan?

"Oh, gross," said the fish

“Oh, gross,” said the fish

The former-future speaker of the House Zombie-eyed Granny-Starver (thanks Charlie!) Paul Ryan, according to anonymous sources is willing to run for the post, you know, if Y’all Qaeda just sorta gives it to him, with no demands:

“An anonymous ally of Rep. Paul Ryan (R-WI) told CBS News that the House Ways and Means chair is warming up to the idea of running for House speaker, but will not engage in any “horse trading” with the conservative hardliners who so far have roiled GOP leadership in recent months.

“According to the report, Ryan will only run if he can gain the support of his caucus on his conservative record alone, which has been questioned by some on the hard right. CBS News’ source said Ryan would consider meeting with the hardliners — oft associated with the House Freedom Caucus — but would not submit to any of the concessions the group has sought to extract from a future speaker.”

Sorry ZEGS, you gotta dance with them what brung you.

Today In Zombie-Eyed, Granny-Starving News


Our theme continues to be that until someone declares, they are not running. But what makes this NYTimes article so great is right up front:

In 2012 when Mitt Romney picked Mr. Ryan, Republican of Wisconsin, as his running mate, the concern among some in their party was that Mr. Ryan was too conservative, particularly when it came to overhauling social programs like Medicare and Medicaid.

Now, as he agonizes over whether to answer the appeal of his colleagues to become their next speaker, the far right is trotting out a fresh concern: Mr. Ryan is too far left.

Paul Ryan, professional ass-kisser, is one of the great con men of our time (“he’s a policy wonk!” – hahahaha) and I don’t think even he’s stupid enough to take this suicide mission. He’s sitting pretty as the chairman of the very powerful Budget Committee that decides how to spend big bucks. He’s going to retire from this thing and become a lobbyist getting the big bucks. There’s no way that he’s going to abandon his grift while the grifting is good.

The Big Weenie…


is thinking about entering the race to be the next Speaker of the House, or so says the guy who dropped out at the last moment.

Please, Ryan, do this thing. Let’s take away all doubt about you being Brainy Von Brain from the planet Brainiac. And then let’s watch you flail in the monkey house.

Emptiest suit in congress, and that’s saying a lot.

Don’t Try This at Home, Kids…

…ZEGS is a pro:

If he ever comes up with a way to bottle his smarmy dissembling, he’ll be richer than the rest of his fabulously rich industrialist family.

Some Fries With Your Stupid, Sen. Paul

Rand Paul groundhog day driving

Shag-carpet topped SEN. RAND PAUL, Schrödinger’s Candidate in the 2016 Goat Rodeo has had a thought about entitlement reform and he wants to share it with us:

“I think the first thing to acknowledge is that there’s not money for all of these Social Security disability programs,” Paul told Bloomberg in an interview. “It runs out of money this year. [The program does not hit a shortfall until late 2016, according to the actuary.]

“The overall Social Security system pays out more than it takes in. So I think it’s really without question that all of these programs need to be reviewed to make them financially sound. There are people who are truly disabled, so the program should first of all prioritize those who are truly disabled.”

Aside from the fact that the disability insurance aspect of Social Security was bolted on to the side and runs out of money by design to create emergencies for the Republicans to resolve by cutting Social Security itself. Because: Granny-starving is good for a person or something. Anyway, Sen. Aqua Buddah continues:

“I think it’s important that all the advocates for disability realize that it’s in their best interest to make sure that people who are disabled are receiving money,” he said. “So, there’s a lot of reforms that we’ve talked about–having more certainty in annual exams, having the exams done by doctors who have not seen the patient and can be objective in confirming the disability. There’s a lot of reform we can do, and the key is getting the advocates involved.”
What a great idea! Let’s put all the people with chronic pain back into the MRI machines annually to confirm their injuries, that sounds like a cost-effective way to be even more cruel. Let’s spend more money to prevent some infintissimal amount of fraud, but ensure that there is absolutely no benefit for the injured.

What a twit.

‘That’s Entirely Different. Never Mind.’

Paul Ryan Zombie of LoveThe biggest fraud in American Politics, the famous Zombie-eyed Granny-starver of note, Paul Ryan explains to us what Y’All Qaeda’s fall-back plan is if the Supreme Court guts the Affordable Care Act (as is much predicted):

House Ways and Means Chairman Paul Ryan (R-Wis.) said Tuesday that his plan’s proposed tax credits are “not at all” like the tax credits under the current law, which the GOP hopes will be struck down by the Supreme Court this year.

…Paul said in an interview with Fox News that the Obama administration’s tax credits are actually “thinly veiled subsidies policed by the Internal Revenue Service.”

When asked if the subsidies and the tax credits were the same thing, Ryan replied, “Not at all, not at all.”

“They are subsidies, [the administration] calls them tax credits,” he said. “They’re saying, buy the Washington-mandated plan and the IRS will police how you buy that. We’re saying, give people freedom.”

Subsidies or Tax Credits? Oh, as Miss Emily Litella would say, “That’s entirely different. Never Mind.”

Unsaddle That Goat: Zombie-Eyed Granny-Starver Is Out

Goat Rodeo goat down

Notorious Snidely Whiplash wannabe Rep. Paul Ryan (R-Ayn Rand) has decided that he would rather inflict pain on the Poors and the Olds than be Preznint:

“I have decided that I am not going to run for president in 2016,” Ryan said in a phone interview, noting that he is “at peace” with the decision he made “weeks ago” to forgo a bid for the White House…

The nine-term congressman believes he can make that “big difference” in his new role as chairman of the influential House Ways and Means Committee rather than as a presidential contender…

“It’s clear the country needs a change in direction and our party has a responsibility to offer a real alternative,” he said, adding that, as chairman of his House committee, he will help “lay out conservative solutions that will help our nominee lead us to victory.”

You bet he will. Republicans would fight amongst themselves to be the one to tell Oliver Twist he cannot have more soup.