Eiron, the Goddess of Irony, laughed so hard she farted

Today in Zombie-Eyed Granny Starving

Atlas-ShruggedPaul Ryan tells us that he is not interested in running for president… well at least not yet:

“The president thing, it doesn’t have to be me,” Ryan says with a shrug. “I just want us to win. I just want to get these policies passed.”

Oh, that’s right. He’s a man of ideas.  You know, the self-proclaimed tax policy wonk who doesn’t understand either tax policy or math.

Anyway, who would he support?

Ryan said he would support another run by the man who picked him as his 2012 running mate, Mitt Romney, but Ryan said the former 2012 nominee “has zero plans of doing that.” And he would also support a bid from former Indiana Gov. Mitch Daniels, whom Ryan strongly lobbied to run in 2012.

“But other than Mitt and Mitch, there’s not a—,” Ryan said, stopping himself.

Coy lad.

The reporter notes that he was about to say he’s not excited about the current crop.

“That’s why I stopped myself,” Ryan replied.

That and he’d blow a corpse for a shot at it again. Do continue, Representative.

That lack of excitement might be what is keeping Ryan from silencing 2016 speculators once and for all, though Ryan said he doesn’t see himself as a “savior” in the way that some politicians with presidential ambitions view themselves.

That and he’d blow a corpse for a shot at it again, I repeat.

But Ryan does say he knows he “could do the job.”

Corpse blowing operations will commence immediately.

In Which Paul Ryan Steps On A Rake

Hiway-to-Hell

He makes it almost too easy:

Ryan has found himself caught between his career-long obsession with cutting taxes for the rich and the problem of what happens to the revenue that would be lost. During the 2012 campaign, he swept aside the problem by couching his plan as “tax reform,” promising not to cut taxes for the rich. Ryan’s new plan is just to go ahead and cut taxes.

He tells Klein, “Those of us who live in the tax system want to lower everybody’s tax rates.” If you lower everybody’s tax rates, then everybody will be paying less in taxes, and then the government will have less revenue, right? That’s where Ryan’s solution comes in: He plans to press the government budget agencies to adopt the optimistic assumption he prefers, which is that cutting tax rates for the rich creates faster economic growth. Ryan spent much of the Bush years assailing what he called “static scoring,” which is the standard budget practice of measuring the fiscal impact of tax cuts as if they do not contain magic pixie dust.

As Danny Vinick has noticed, Ryan has announced his intention to change the rules. Ryan reaffirmed that plan in his interview with Klein: “I’d like to improve our scorekeeping so it better reflects reality,” he said. “Reality” is Ryan’s description for a world in which Bill Clinton’s punishing tax hikes on the rich hindered the economy, which was restored to health when George W. Bush cut taxes.

Why is it too easy: well, it’s been done. A Red State did this, and because states have to balance their yearly budgets… Let’s look at Kansas

In 2012, Kansas governor Sam Brownback signed a massive tax cut into law, arguing that it would boost the state’s economy. Eventually, he hoped to eliminate individual income taxes entirely. “Our place, Kansas, will show the path, the difficult path, for America to go in these troubled times,” he said.

National conservative activists raved. Patrick Gleason of Americans for Tax Reform said Kansas was “the story of the next decade.” The Cato Institute praised Brownback’s “impressive” tax cuts and gave him an “A” on fiscal policy. And the Weekly Standard’s Bill Kristol said that, if reelected, Brownback would be “a formidable presidential possibility.”

Yet though Brownback is running for reelection this fall in a deep red state, he’s trailed his Democratic challenger in 3 of the 4 most recent polls — and his marquee tax cut appears to be the main reason. Kansas is now hundreds of millions of dollars short in revenue collection, its job growth has lagged the rest of the nation, and Moody’s has cut the state’s bond rating. “Governor Brownback came in here with an agenda to reduce the size of government, reduce taxes, and create a great economic boom,” says University of Kansas professor Burdett Loomis. “Now there’s been a dramatic decline in revenues, no great increase in economic activity, and we’ve got red ink until the cows come home.”

We keep saying it: Paul Ryan is a fraud, and probably the most disingenuous person holding elective office. Everything he says should be fact-checked, including “um,” and “the.”

I Bet Six Quatloos…UPDATED

Paul Ryan Zombie of Love

Zombie-Eyed Granny-Starver Paul Ryan’s rehabilitation from the disastrous and near-career ending 2012 Goat Rodeo ride as The Stench’s running mate is running along on schedule. Today’s lavish testicle licking comes from The Week: “Paul Ryan’s 6 favorite books about economics and democracy .”

  • “Capitalism and Freedom by Milton Friedman (Univ. of Chicago, $17.50)
  • The Road to Serfdom by Friedrich von Hayek (Univ. of Chicago, $17)
  • Democracy in America by Alexis de Tocqueville (Penguin, $14)
  • The Last Lion: Defender of the Realm by William Manchester and Paul Reid (Bantam, $20)
  • Wealth and Poverty by George Gilder (Regnery, $30)
  • The Way the World Works by Jude Wanniski (Gateway, $17)

…and I bet 6 quatloos that he’s not cracked the spine on all of them, let alone finished any of them. It’s always good to aspire to have a summer reading list, but methinks this is just pure GOP trolling, so the Confederacy Party continues to accept on face value that he is a wonk, instead of a fraud.

Atlas-Shrugged

UPDATE: I don’t know how I missed the obvious question, especially that we’re talking about Paul Ryan, but WTF is Atlas Shrugged on his list? He used to make his staffers read that thing (Cruel and Unusual Punishment), is a member of the Atlas Society (where he speaks and has said that Atlas Shrugged is the reason he ran for office). Methinks that its absence from his list is more telling that the nutty, nutty last two entries that are Reagan era whack-a-doodle, trickle-down VooDoo economics books.

In Zombie-Eyed Granny Starving News…

Let’s watch in wonder as Zombie-eyed Granny Starver Paul Ryan gets confronted by the Dreamers at a book signing:

It takes some brass to pose for smiling pictures with the people that you are trying to deport.

It Must Be Summer Because Paul Ryan…

…is already singing that familliar tune:

Paul Ryan (pic Gregg Segal for TIME)

CHAIRMAN PAUL RYAN is at AEI this morning to present an anti-poverty plan, “Expanding Opportunity in America: A Discussion Draft from the House Budget Committee,” in a speech that pulls in his Jack Kemp roots and allows him to tap into his inner wonk. He’s proposing a voluntary Opportunity Grant program that “would consolidate up to 11 federal programs into one stream of funding [food stamps, housing subsidies, child-care assistance, cash welfare] to participating states.”

He only knows one tune, so he keeps changing the name of the song, but the melody stays the same.

We have an obligation to expand opportunity in America — to deliver real change, real solutions, and real results. And to do that, we need to stop listening to the loudest voices in the room — and start listening to the smartest voices in the room. So I’ve spent the last year traveling all over the country-learning from people fighting poverty on the front lines. I’ve been to a high school in Milwaukee that’s eliminated 14 gangs from school grounds. I’ve been to a church in Indianapolis that’s helped hundreds of men get off drugs. I’ve been to a homeless shelter in Denver and a rehab center in San Antonio.”

…and I’ve been to Nice and the Isles of Greece, but I’ve never been to me…

“[T]oday, I want to start a conversation. … When I went to Milwaukee or Denver or Indianapolis, nobody asked me what party I belonged to. They welcomed anybody who was willing to listen and learn. That should be our approach in Washington. Enough with the politics. Let’s talk solutions … [W]e need to build a society where hard work is rewarded and every American has the opportunity to succeed-regardless of birthplace or background. And to do that, everybody’s got to get involved. If we all work together, we can build a healthy economy. We can fix this. We can get this done.”

It’s his same Ayn Randian bullshit with a different Ronald Reagan cover band. (Fair Warning: it’s a PDF, 73 pages.)

The Afternoon Quote – Zombie-eyed Granny-starver Edition

Paul Ryan Zombie of Love

“I went on this flight a week later,” [Congressman Paul] Ryan said. “And the flight attendants were looking at me; and they were sort of looking at me and pointing at me. And then, finally one of them comes up to me and says, ‘You’re somebody famous, aren’t you? Are you Anthony Weiner?’

“I’ve been confused for Anthony Weiner twice now. I don’t know how this keeps happening.”

Maybe because they recognize a dick when they see one?(Mlive)

RIP, Minimum Wage

Compare and contrast

The Senate voted on Wednesday against going ahead on a bill that would gradually increase the federal minimum wage from $7.25 an hour to $10.10 an hour, another rejection for legislation that has been a major focus of the Democrats’ 2014 midterm campaign.

The final vote count was 54 to 42, with Senate Majority Leader Harry M. Reid (D-Nev.), who supports the legislation, taking the procedural step of voting against the bill so that he can reintroduce it at a later time.

And if you are wondering why Paul Ryan, who is not a senator, makes a guest appearance in this post, it is because he held a hearing on poverty today. Guess what! He had no poor people testify.

(And yes, I am now honored to be contributing at Liberaland: Alan Colmes asked me to be a part of it (which YOWSA!), so I guess that makes me a Junior Pundit and part of the lamestream media? We’ll see! But with the 2014 midterms coming up, I thought it was a good opportunity to get our viewpoint out, Scissorheads, and have some fun spitballing on what is undoubtedly a larger stage!)

The Afternoon Quote

“Usually when I get up this early, I get up to kill something.”

–Zombie-eyed Granny-starver Paul Ryan to pastor Darryl Webster when visiting the Emmanuel Missionary Baptist Church in Indianapolis, you know, as part of his outreach to the poors.

(BuzzFeed)

Mooselini Wants to Death Panel Paul Ryan’s Budget

A dead-eyed dick

A dead-eyed dick

“The latest Ryan (R, Wisconsin) Budget is not an April Fool’s joke,” Palin wrote in a Facebook post. “But it really IS a joke because it is STILL not seeing the problem; it STILL is not proposing reining in wasteful government overspending TODAY, instead of speculating years out that some future Congress and White House may possibly, hopefully, eh-who-knows, take responsibility for today’s budgetary selfishness and shortsightedness to do so. THIS is the definition of insanity.”

Kudos to her ghost writer for not letting The Boreal Narcissus toss her usual word salad all over the place.

(Livewire)