One Lump of Stupid or Two?

Meet Sylvia Allen, a proud, gun-carrying member of Y’all Qaeda and State Senator from the terrible sand kingdom of Arizonastan. Ms. Allen has a great idea for us to consider: we should legislate that EVERYONE has to go to church on Sundays (but, you know, she would let us go to the church of our choice, so that’s cool, she’s no extremist) to “rebirth morals,” which sounds kinda messy:

Some Fries With Your Stupid, D’Vorce D’Spousa?

Get Off The Cross, We Need The Wood

(Hat tip: Scissorhead Skinny-D)

(Hat tip: Scissorhead Skinny-D)

Documentarian fabulist, convicted felon, fired Y’all Qaeda business school dean, and would-be bigamist D’VORCE D’SPOUSA answers the question all of Wingnuttia is asking: Why do the DFHs hate Dinesh D’Souza?

“…precisely because I am a non-white, immigrant, patriot that exposes a lot of the Obama administration running amok, all of this craziness that masquerades under the name of progressivism or progress. I’m blowing the whistle on these scoundrels, so naturally they’re unhappy with me, and I’m happy about that.”

Gee, I don’t hate anyone*, but I certainly don’t hate D’Souza for those reasons. You know, the lying, pandering, intellectual dishonesty (and legal dishonesty), and hypocrisy are enough for me.

*Like my Mormon friends taught me, I learned to love some people the least.

Scientists Should Study Megan Fox

This is a long video of sustained stupidity. I thought at first it had to be a parody, but it seems that Ms. Fox goes out hunting for things that offend her religious sensibilities, you know, as a hobby or something. It also seems that Fox homeschools her children and that ought to make all of us pause as we look with hope to the next generation.

(Hat tip: Crooks and Liars)

Here’s Some Stupid for Your Thanksgiving Coffee

National Review editor Rich Lowry has suggested an innovative new way for Republicans to express their displeasure: ban President Obama from delivering the State of the Union Address:

“If I were John Boehner,” he said, referring to the House speaker, “I’d say to the president: ‘Send us your State of the Union in writing. You’re not welcome in our chamber.’ ”

Uh-huh. The Party of Lincoln telling the First Black President that he isn’t welcome in Congress will really go over well.

Some Fries With Your Stupid?

Writing in World Nut Daily, Erik Rush—who has frequently stated that The Kenyan Usurper Barack HUSSEIN Obama is going to put Xristians into internment camps—asks Is it time to deport, intern foreign Muslims?*:

We deported, expelled and interned foreign nationals and naturalized citizens for a whole lot less during World War II, and I would certainly call for the deportation or expulsion of all Muslim foreign nationals at this juncture.

Eiron, the Goddess of Irony, is giggling and plans to take the rest of the day off.

*Betteridges’s Law of Headlines applies.

And a Child Shall Lead Them

The kid is a natural:

A candidate running to represent Michigan’s 95th House district in the state legislature wants you to know that once you look past his bizarre sexual fetish and multiple felony convictions, he is a rock-ribbed conservative Republican, whose “stool of conservatism” is held up by “faith, family and freedom.”

His “stool of conservatism”? Oh, my. Is it Mark Sanford? John Ensign? Newt Gingrich? Larry Craig? Henry Hyde? Mark Foley? David Vitter? Who is it?!

Michigan Live reported Friday that Saginaw’s Jordan D. Haskins dismisses the arrests and prison time as the results of youthful indiscretion and said that he is ready to “move on from that and do what I can” to serve his state as a Republican state Representative.

“I have dreams,” Haskins said to Michigan Live, “and I want to make a difference.”

Oh, we all have had those dreams, son.

Haskins, 24, has served prison time in two states and is currently on parole, but there are no rules preventing him from running for the state House.

He’s qualified as any Wingnut anywhere in Greater Wingnuttia! He should run for the Goat Rodeo! Teabaggers, we have found your King!

On four occasions between April of 2010 and January of 2011, Haskins broke into vehicles on public and private property, disconnected the ignition wires, then started the engine. As the wires snapped and spit sparks, Haskins would masturbate to climax in a sexualized ritual he calls “cranking.”

Well, that’s different. Auto auto-erotica?

Here’s Your Cheese Sandwich With a Side of Stupid

Fox resident psychiatrist Keith Ablow (who may or may not have a license to practice) says that The World Cup is conspiracy to distract the masses from, you know, The Kenyan Usurper’s many impeachable offenses.

Who Let The Pigs Out?

Castrating pigs is like cutting spending? Make politicians squeal by castrating them? Metaphors are hard for me. And yes, this is real.