Some Fries With Your Stupid?

AFA Jeebus

AFA Jeebus

The poor, persecuted, and put-upon Xristian Xrazies are preparing for the end:

All together, Scissorheads: “Get off the cross, we need the wood.”

The Bigotry Map that Sandy Rios mentions is a copy-cat reaction to the Southern Poverty Law Center’s long-standing Hate Map, which oddly includes the American Family Association on it. The AFA has been shrieking loudly that they are not a hate organization, just because they hate on the ‘mos.

News That Will Drive You To Drink

Franklin Graham, the not-too-bright son of Rev. Billy Graham, tells Greta Van Susteren how to fix ISIS: they should convert to being Xristians:

“God loves you and God is willing to forgive you, but you’ve got to be willing to confess your sin to Him and ask Him for forgiveness and by faith invite His Son Jesus Christ into your heart. If you do that, God will forgive you for what you have done and God will heal your heart and He’ll invite you to be with Him for eternity in heaven.”

Problem solved!

‘I’m shocked, shocked I tell you’

Xristian Xrazies doctored a photo to look as if millions, Millions, MILLIONS attended this assrocket’s hate rally.

(It’s pretty funny: they couldn’t even find a picture that makes it look as if the gathered throng is looking at the dude.)

The Morning Quote

Arkansas state Senator Jason Rapert:

“With ISIS spreading all over the Middle East and Africa and Islamic Extremists carrying out violence in Europe, the United Kingdom and even in the United States, I wonder why the civilized world just sits by when we have weapons that could wipe out these barbarians where they are concentrated?”

“I believe it is time to annihilate the strongholds and pursue the rest till we have them all captured or killed. A strategically placed nuclear weapon would save the lives of our soldiers and quickly turn things around.”

“It is time for the insanity to be stopped.”

We’re guessing Arkansas state Senator Jason Rapert’s never played Risk or Stratego.

Mixed Messages, Cont.

Bumper Sticker reloading

The second, lower bumper sticker is what takes this from typical NRA bravado to high art.

(Hat tip: Scissrhead Patrick Bjork, and yes, we have a new meme category: Mixed Messages.)

One Lump of Stupid or Two?

Easter at the Ham's

Easter at the Ham’s

Answers in Genesis’s embarrassing Creation Museum/Zip-line minister and would-be Ark Park entrepreneur (grifter) Ken Ham is agitating to not have February 12 declared Darwin Day (as proposed), but instead to have it declared Darwin Was Wrong Day:

Secularists are becoming increasingly aggressive and intolerant in promoting their anti-God philosophy. Evolutionary ideas provide the foundation for this worldview because they seemingly allow mankind the ability to explain the existence of life and the universe without God. As Christians, we need to be bold in proclaiming the truth of God’s Word to a hurting (groaning, Romans 8:22) world. This year, on February 12, instead of celebrating Darwin’s anti-God religion, we can take this opportunity to show the world that Darwin’s ideas about our supposed evolutionary origins were wrong, and that God’s Word is true, from the very beginning. Let’s make February 12 Darwin Was Wrong Day and point people to the truth of God’s Word.

The subheadings on this longish rant include, No Life from Non-Life, No Mechanism for Evolution, and Evolution Is Bad Science. You know, just incase you wondered if Ham thought it might be good science.

And because the cardinal rule is to fleece the rubes whenever possible (Grifters Gotta Grift), the bottom of his post has links to all the anti-Darwin, anti-Evolution materials to buy, each reasonably priced at $12.99.

News That Will Drive You To Drink

Martin Luther King and son find a burned cross on their lawn.

Martin Luther King and son find a burned cross on their lawn.

From Hatewatch, the Southern Poverty Law Center’s blog

“The Mississippi Klan salutes Alabama’s chief justice Roy Moore, for refusing to bow to the yoke of Federal tyranny,” Brent Waller, the UDKW’s imperial wizard, wrote in a Stormfront post. “The fudge packers from Hollywood and all major news networks are in shock that the good people from the heart of Dixie are resisting their Imperialist, Communist Homosexual agenda!”

I’m NOT linking to Stormfront for obvious reasons, but just so you know, The Klan plans to rally in Alabama and have requested their members do not wear their distinctive sheets: “We have made the decision that we don’t want to distract attention away from the issue, as anytime the Klan rides, we are made the issue by the zionist controlled media.”

And for anyone wondering why I’m tagging it a Xristian Xrazies, the KKK was/is a Christian organization since its founding. It’s in all their lit, no one tries to deny it.

News That Will Drive You To Drink: Clarence Thomas Edition

So why should you fill up the I.V. bags (not bread bags) with booze for this tweet? Take it away Jeremy Hooper:

Robert George is the cofounder (along with Maggie Gallagher) of the National Organization For Marriage and one of the authors of the Federal Marriage Amendment. Ryan T. Anderson is a Heritage Foundation staffer and a top voice against marriage equality.

But you know, no one will ask Ol’ Clarence to recuse himself from the upcoming ruling on same-sex marriage unlike the chorus of Y’all Qaeda who are screaming for the women of the SCOTUS to recuse themselves because they know gay people.

The GOP Rebranding, Cont.

Spanking just liked dear old dadThere continues to be some glitches in obvious anagram Reince Priebus’ epic rebranding of The Confederacy, er, GOP:

Several Republican congresswomen are reportedly splitting from their party on a national abortion bill that’s scheduled for a vote in the House next week, raising concerns that the legislation is too extreme and will alienate female voters.

Oh. And what is it about this bill that finally has GOP women alarmed?

As Politico reports, Ellmers is also concerned that the proposed abortion ban has a particularly narrow exception for rape victims. As the bill is currently written, in order to qualify for the exemption, women who became pregnant from rape must have reported their assault to law enforcement officials.

Ah, a permutation of Todd Akin’s Theory of Legitimate Rape (women’s body’s have a way of shutting down a rape-baby): to be a legitimate rape, the woman has to submit to gentle, probing intrusions from the legal system—starting with the local guys whom she might have gone to high school with—or otherwise it didn’t happen. Got it.

But here’s the paragraph that jumps out to me (emphasis mine) that I think gives away the duplicitous game:

However, the National Journal reports that a group of GOP women led by Rep. Renee Ellmers (R-NC) have started pushing back against the legislation, expressing concerns during a closed-door meeting of House Republicans. Ellmers reportedly said she is worried that voting on the 20-week ban will alienate young female voters, urging her colleagues “to be smart about how we’re moving forward.”

So these Republican women are not worried about this being bad policy, they are worried about it being bad for recruiting. I mean, if you are being fine, upstanding Xristians, and you are taking a stand on a moral issue, then you should let the chips fall where they may. Also/too alienating people is the GOP core competency, and as long as the not-alienated (Y’all Qaeda in this case) comes to the polls, what does it matter? This bill is designed for them, not for (young) women.