News That Will Drive You To Drink: Clarence Thomas Edition

So why should you fill up the I.V. bags (not bread bags) with booze for this tweet? Take it away Jeremy Hooper:

Robert George is the cofounder (along with Maggie Gallagher) of the National Organization For Marriage and one of the authors of the Federal Marriage Amendment. Ryan T. Anderson is a Heritage Foundation staffer and a top voice against marriage equality.

But you know, no one will ask Ol’ Clarence to recuse himself from the upcoming ruling on same-sex marriage unlike the chorus of Y’all Qaeda who are screaming for the women of the SCOTUS to recuse themselves because they know gay people.

The GOP Rebranding, Cont.

Spanking just liked dear old dadThere continues to be some glitches in obvious anagram Reince Priebus’ epic rebranding of The Confederacy, er, GOP:

Several Republican congresswomen are reportedly splitting from their party on a national abortion bill that’s scheduled for a vote in the House next week, raising concerns that the legislation is too extreme and will alienate female voters.

Oh. And what is it about this bill that finally has GOP women alarmed?

As Politico reports, Ellmers is also concerned that the proposed abortion ban has a particularly narrow exception for rape victims. As the bill is currently written, in order to qualify for the exemption, women who became pregnant from rape must have reported their assault to law enforcement officials.

Ah, a permutation of Todd Akin’s Theory of Legitimate Rape (women’s body’s have a way of shutting down a rape-baby): to be a legitimate rape, the woman has to submit to gentle, probing intrusions from the legal system—starting with the local guys whom she might have gone to high school with—or otherwise it didn’t happen. Got it.

But here’s the paragraph that jumps out to me (emphasis mine) that I think gives away the duplicitous game:

However, the National Journal reports that a group of GOP women led by Rep. Renee Ellmers (R-NC) have started pushing back against the legislation, expressing concerns during a closed-door meeting of House Republicans. Ellmers reportedly said she is worried that voting on the 20-week ban will alienate young female voters, urging her colleagues “to be smart about how we’re moving forward.”

So these Republican women are not worried about this being bad policy, they are worried about it being bad for recruiting. I mean, if you are being fine, upstanding Xristians, and you are taking a stand on a moral issue, then you should let the chips fall where they may. Also/too alienating people is the GOP core competency, and as long as the not-alienated (Y’all Qaeda in this case) comes to the polls, what does it matter? This bill is designed for them, not for (young) women.

It’s All About Them

So these Xristian men want to apologize for letting women have an abortion, because even when women take charge of their lives and make decisions about their own bodies, it’s all about them.

Fuck them.

“I should’ve manned up and I should’ve fought for you and — I didn’t. I didn’t.”

“Somebody should’ve been there to rescue you, but you do have a rescuer. You don’t have to live in shame and darkness, you can run to God’s light.”

Just stop it, boys. It is not about you, it’s about women’s right to control their own destiny. They don’t need YOU to rescue THEM. You feel shitty that you were a lousy person, that’s your issue, but you have no right to tell these women what they can do to make YOU feel better about yourselves.

Just stop it.

The Morning Quote

Demanding that other people do things to make you feel better about them is a dick move that only Y’all Qaeda would think is acceptable.

Hmmm, let’s try our hand at this: I demand of all Xristians that until they recognize and destroy their growing theocratic cancer they must be held responsible…

One Lump of Stupid or Two?

I-can-haz-raptureToday’s hot cuppa stupid comes to us from the great state of Wyoming where a religious freedom bill (HB0083) is wending its way through the sausage factory, and seems to have picked up something in the bowel, so to speak, of the the beast:

On the heels of the court ruling allowing same-sex marriage in Wyoming, a bill before the state Legislature would allow people — including county clerks — to deny services if their religious beliefs conflict with government policy.

House Bill 83, the Religious Freedom Restoration Act, would help people exercise freedom of religion, according to sponsors. It’s about freedom of conscience, said Rep. Nathan Winters, R-Thermopolis.

Sounds vague. Please explain, maybe give an example?

The bill states that government can burden a person’s exercise of religion or moral conscience. In addition to government employees, people in the private sector such as professional photographers would be covered, Winters said.

“They’re free from oppression of government if they choose to exercise freedom of conscience,” he said.

Winters, a Hot Springs County pastor, said his bill would apply to religious people in all situations in which government policy flew in the face of their beliefs, although he couldn’t provide any examples outside of gay marriage.

So it is another We Don’t Serve Your Kind law? So how does it work?

If government forces religious people to act against their beliefs, they can sue, according to the bill.

Rep. Nathan Winters is also a Xristian pastor, so I think we know where this is going. The Xristian Xrazies demonstrate to us that their religious beliefs depend upon their smug superiority to others; this bill is the Rapture legislated and allows Y’all Qaeda to float above the world and smile grimly as they cast their own judgement on the rest of us. We could say that this bill is ostensibly about Marriage Equality, but we would be wrong: you might be the wrong race, religion, or gender. It could be used to deny goods and services to anyone, for any reason and claim a religious exemption.

So the paramedics can decide not to help someone, the firefighters can watch the house burn, the doctor can refuse to perform the procedure, the police can refuse to enforce the law, the clerk can refuse to issue any license, the waiter can refuse to serve the food (which the chef can refuse to cook), the landlord can refuse to rent the room, the owner can cancel the contract…

I keep wondering how the Xristians will react when the Deli refuses to serve them. It’s a sword that cuts both ways, but they don’t seem to think it through.

I cannot imagine how this could possibly go wrong.

Wyoming: the Equality State. What a joke.

News That Will Drive You To Drink


Y’all Qaeda is aghast that Muslim students will be allowed to be called to prayer (once a week) from the interfaith Duke Chapel Bell Tower. You see, it’s creeping Sharia and if you have a child at Duke (presumably under the age of consent?), you should pull him/her out of school, says the author of this piece:

“The sweetest sound I know is the Muslim call to prayer” – Barack Obama

The Islamization of America continues, as it has since Obama was elected in 2008, at a frightening pace. Public amplified broadcasts of the Muslim call to prayer exists in Muslim majority countries, and is a symbol that they have taken that nation over. If I had a child attending Duke University they would pulled out so fast it would make your head spin.

Islam is not compatible with any free society, it is an religious ideology of forced, violent submission. Every nation where it is dominant is in chaos. Islam is against all American values and ideals, and has no place in a free society.

The azan is the Devil’s call to prayer, don’t answer it.

It’s not polite to not answer a call. And I always thought Y’all Qaeda was marked by good manners!

The essay continues in that rich vein of nutty islamaphobia for a while longer. The author, who remains unidentified, sounds like a reasonable, thoughtful guy, who probably has never heard the nightly bells calling the Xristian faithful to Vespers, so the thought of a once-a-week call to prayer for mooselins is just giving those people dominion over God’s own sweet baby (white) Jeebus.

He concludes with a call to action and a web form to send your protestations to Duke to “let them know how you feel about their forced indoctrination of Islam on American citizens.” Which is entirely different from Y’all Qaeda’s forced indoctrination of Xristianity on American citizens, some of whom happen to be Muslims. But that’s different, as we all know.

Here’s the press release from Duke, so you can compare and contrast:

DURHAM, NC – Members of the Duke Muslim Students Association will chant a weekly call-to-prayer from the Duke Chapel bell tower beginning Friday, Jan. 16.

The chant, called the “adhan,” announces the start of the group’s jummah prayer service, which takes place in the chapel basement each Friday at 1 p.m. The service is open to the public.

The chant lasts about three minutes and will be moderately amplified.

“The adhan is the call to prayer that brings Muslims back to their purpose in life, which is to worship God and serves as a reminder to serve our brothers and sisters in humanity,” said Imam Adeel Zeb, Muslim chaplain at Duke. “The collective Muslim community is truly grateful and excited about Duke’s intentionality toward religious and cultural diversity.”

“This opportunity represents a larger commitment to religious pluralism that is at the heart of Duke’s mission,” added Christy Lohr Sapp, the chapel’s associate dean for religious life. “It connects the university to national trends in religious accommodation.”

Muslim students at Duke are supported by the university through the Office of Student Affairs’ Muslim Life department, which hosts religious services, community service projects and interfaith events. The Center for Muslim Life provides on-campus social and spiritual meeting spaces for students as well as opportunities for counseling and advising.

(Hat tip: Scissorhead Skinny-D)

Claim Cowder Update: My Husband Isn’t Gay…

he’s just a great big tool.

Back in December, we said that we would come back for Claim Chowder when we linked to the promo for this TLC special (TLC is now clearly the Theocracy-Lite Channel, giving the Quiverful-movement heroes The Duggars a platform for their strange brand of female-subjugation fundamentalism), in which gay Mormon men marry straight Mormon women and then declare themselves straight somehow, as they go out cruising/oogling men in Utah:

And now for the Claim Chowder update: our friends over at Truth Wins Out have a review up, somehow they saw a preview show I guess (the TLC program airs Sunday Jan. 11). TWO thinks that the show probably back-fired for TLC:

With trepidation I watched “My Husband’s Not Gay.” I feared that it would be an effective tool to recruit impressionable youth into “ex-gay” programs, promote junk science, and airbrush the pain that often results from unstable mixed orientation marriages.

To my surprise, this show backfired. It may actually help the LGBT community, while harming the very “ex-gay” programs that this show sought to promote. The featured subjects appeared insincere, unconvincing, and gayer than Liberace in spandex.

It’s a very funny review, please go read and enjoy.

What TLC does not tell us about the stars of the program is that they are, in fact, part of a Mormon ex-gay therapy movement called North Star. One of the series stars, Pret, is actually on the board of directors:

I hope that these women get nice settlements in the sure-to-be-pending divorces, because if this isn’t emotional abuse, I don’t know what is. Grown (gay) men having slumber parties without their wives? Gimme a break.

On a more serious note, in the same news cycle in which we have a transgendered teen, Leelah Alcorn, kill herself because of lack of acceptance in her very conservative Christian family, TLC really has a tin ear to bring us this treif, regardless if it backfires on them or not. I would say that TLC should be ashamed, but that gives them some sort of moral acceptance, which they clearly do not deserve.

(Hat tip: Scissorhead Bluegal)

Ohio: First Amendment Is For You, Too

Jeebus in his younger, happier days.

Jeebus enjoys the swing while on recess in Ohio.

What is it with Y’all Qaeda not understanding the First Amendment?

Under a new Ohio law, Gov. John Kasich (R) will require schools to partner with a religious group in order to receive state funding for mentoring programs.

OK, so we have Public Schools using Public Money for mentoring (which is good, though the amount seems sort of puny), but as part of the strings attached, the schools have to partner with a so-called Faith-Based Group (and a corporation, but it was not in TPM’s lede graf). And presumably if they do not partner with a religious organization, well, no mentoring for them!

Buddy Harris, a senior police analyst for the Ohio Department of Education, told the audience at a Thursday information session about the requirement.

“The faith-based organization is clearly at the heart of the vision of the governor,” he said after the session, according to the Plain Dealer.

“We do not forsee any proseletyzing happening between mentors and students,” Harris added. “That’s not really what we’re seeking.”

Indeed, the faith-based organization is in the vision of the Governor who is long-rumored to be a 2016 Goat Rodeo contender. What better way to get into Y’all Qaeda’s good graces and grab the spotlight away from scolds like Frothy Santorum and Uncle Sugar Mike Huckabee. I bet you before this is over, boy exorcist Bobby Jindal will have this scam down in Louisiana, too.

At first blush, you might say that because Kasich didn’t specify which religious denomination that the public schools must partner with, that somehow he got around the establishment clause of the First Amendment, and as Wonkette said/wished, perhaps the Satanists will step in with a faith-based org to be a partner, which would be pretty funny.

But where the whole thing falls apart and what will undoubtedly get this law thrown-out (if not thrown-up) will be that it forces religion onto the atheists, which is a well-known First Amendment violation.

Kasich, clearly not a bright man, is cunning. He will be able to talk about how the secular humanists kicked Sweet Baby Jeebus out of the schools, proclaim himself a victim (the Xristian Xrazies are so moist for victimhood), and have his bonafides proven.

And we all know that everything is better with Sweet Baby Jeebus on it.

Bad Signs, Cont.


And here we go again. Theocrat grifter Ken Ham somehow thinks this will help him win a tax break from Kentucky so he can recoup 25% of all the taxes on his yet-to-be-built (with tax payer dollars) Noah’s Ark Park After Dark Lark (or whatever he is calling it these days)?

(Hat tip: Scissorhead Patrick)

Pity Them: It’s That Time Of Year Again!

jeebus light switch

When the Xristians, who as we all know are the most persecuted people in America, once again ask us to rate the Top 10 Anti-Christian Acts (of 2014). It’s like some kind of demented popularity contest.

As for me, I’m gonna vote for the Frosted Tips Twins having their never-shown HGTV show cancelled. Yes, in their strange belief system cancelling a show about flipping houses counts as Xristian persecution.

Jeebus weeps.