One Lump of Stupid or Two, Mr. Huckabee

Get off the cross, we need the wood

Gomer and the Gomerette

Gomer and the Gomerette

“Christian convictions are under attack as never before,” Huckabee said in the call, which was meant to rally pastors to participate in the FRC’s upcoming “Stand for Marriage” event. “Not just in our lifetime, but ever before in the history of this great nation. We are moving rapidly towards the criminalization of Christianity.

Because we know that Y’all Qaeda and the Xristians are the most abused and powerless people in America.

(Right Wing Watch)

One Lump of Stupid or Two, Rep. King?

Xristian Xrazy is as Xristian Xrazy does.

Xristian Xrazy is as Xristian Xrazy does.

The Pride of Iowa, ol’ Cantaloupe Calves hisself, Steve King is proposing legislation that will strip federal courts of the ability to make any ruling on marriage. You know, Article 3 of the Constitution. The bill also prevents any federal monies from being used for any enforcement of any order or any judgment by any federal court.

We guess that King doesn’t want the ‘mos to get married, but is cool with wive-sisters?

Says King:

“For too long, federal courts have overstepped their constitutionally limited duty to interpret the Constitution. Rather, federal courts have perverted the Constitution to make law and create constitutional rights to things such as privacy, birth control, and abortion. These unenumerated, so-called constitutionally-protected rights were not envisioned by our Founding Fathers.”

King essentially just gave Konstitushunonal Konservatives an essential boner, essentially.

Petunia And Pals Wins The Morning!

Pretty clever to have a woman on to essentially say HRClinton shouldn’t be preznint because she has lady bits, as designed by Jeebus.

The Afternoon Quote

No Regrets

The Smart Bush and Chimpy

The Smart Bush and Chimpy

“I don’t think I would have changed anything [ED. -about his involvement in the ghoulish and gruesome Terri Schiavo case],” [Jeb Bush] said in response to a questioner during a “Politics and Eggs” breakfast here Friday. “I stayed within the constitutional responsibilities or authority that I had. We changed the law first and then a year later it was ruled unconstitutional and then basically didn’t have the ability to do anything. The federal government then intervened and that was ruled unconstitutional. So, she starved to death.” (WaPo)

So The Smart Bush® would do it all again? We’re being warned that the amateur necromancer is back and ready to use the government like a bludgeon to enforce his ghoulish theocratic views, you know, into your personal lives.

Grifters Gotta Grift

Get off the Cross, cont.

piles-of-moneyThe founders of GoFundME must be so proud of the attention that their site is getting lately.

Besides bigot pizzas grifters, and possibly sabotaged car grifters, you can now fund white supremacists grifters!

Here’s the short version: some white guy put a hand-made White History Month poster in the window of his deli (and we must ask ourselves if there is a single month that is NOT white history month in the USA, but I digress). His bidness dried up, not surprisingly.

So he has started his own GoFundMe campaign, amusingly called Jimbos white history sign gone bad.

“On march 1st I hung a sign in my deli window saying, ‘Celebrate your white heritage in March, White History Month.’

“If you haven’t heard of this story and you want to read about it, just google Flemington white history or go on YouTube and search White History Month. Anyway, it went crazy for four days and then I had to take the sign down for various reasons. It was only supposed to be a white thing, but people read more into it than that.”

I bet they did, Sparky.

“I did get tons of supporting letters from all across the USA.”

I’m guessing from the Confederacy. What are the odds?

“Which was very comforting during such a stressful time.”

A stressful time of your own making, but do continue.

“Then the bottom dropped out and customers were no longer coming into my deli, and now I am forced to close down my Deli and lose my American dream.”

Because of your own actions. What lesson the class learn from this tale?

“I don’t think I deserve this just because I wanted to be proud of being white and be able to celebrate my heritage like everyone else does.”

But you do deserve it, Whitey. What message do you think you were sending, and more importantly who did you think it was going to attract?

This is called the Invisible Hand of the Marketplace. He’s raised $215 from 15 people in 4 days, which is far more than I would have thought.

You made your bed, now you get to sleep in it, apparently without delicious deli meats.

Where Are They Now?

Get Off The Cross We Need The Wood

Jeebus in his younger, happier days.

Jeebus in his younger, happier days.

Hey guys, remember that mechanic in Michigan who said that he would not service the car of gay people because: Jeebus? What was his name, it was so long ago… Brian Klawiter?

Anyway, Klawiter is kinda surprised by all the attention he’s gotten since announcing with pride that he’s a bigot!

“Listen up folks, If you have an opposing view to mine that IS OK, what is NOT OK is threats to kill me, my family, and friends; threats to burn down my shop and my home. I will stand firm on my views and will not back down, (There also seems to be a TON of confusion about one of my comments, the bolt and nut thing was a reference to physiology, bolt penis and nut vagina. I DID NOT threaten to purposely put a vehicle together wrong to harm someone.)”

And then one of his vendors is asking Klawiter to cease and desist associating their brand with his bigotry:

Oh, yeah, and there’s this letter making the rounds, too.

So the local news interviewed Klawiter and reports to us:

Klawiter declined to comment Thursday morning at his shop. He looked frazzled, and seemed surprised his Facebook comments had received so much attention.

He claimed he has become the victim in this controversy. (Emphasis mine.)

So his plan is working? Let’s stay tuned.

Methinks He’s Looking For His Own $1M Pizza

We Don’t Serve Your Kind

Bless Y'all Qaeda's heart.

Bless Y’all Qaeda’s heart.

So a mechanic in Michigan tells the press that he would not service a gay person’s car.

GRANDVILLE, Mich. (WOOD) — The owner of a Grandville auto repair shop says he won’t hesitate “to refuse service to an openly gay person or persons.”

Brian Klawiter, the owner of Dieseltec on Ottawa Avenue in Grandville, posted the statement to his company’s Facebook page on Tuesday because he says the voices of those who have Christian, conservative values are often overshadowed by those who do not.

“I want to have a voice about this,” Klawiter told 24 Hour News 8 Wednesday. “I want to be heard about this… It’s challenging to decide to say I’m on the opposing side of what’s seen as the popular view.”

The post in question starts with “Enough is enough.”

…and it goes rapidly downhill from there, nuts and bolts flinging off the jalopy, literally:

“I would not hesitate to refuse service to an openly gay person or persons. Homosexuality is wrong, period,” Klawiter wrote. “If you want to argue this fact with me then I will put your vehicle together with all bolts and no nuts and you can see how that works.”

Notice how Klawiter didn’t tie it into a wedding ceremony, not even the far-fetched notion of a pizza party wedding reception, though I suppose he could say that he wouldn’t service the tin can-laden, rice-strewn, get-away car to make it more topical about how same sex marriage violates his deeply held religious beliefs.

This is just out-and-out bigotry, raw of tooth and claw as the poet said. Michigan does not have any anti-discrimination coverage for LGBTQ people, though there are some local ordinances sprinkled here and there. The city of Grandville does not have a non-discrimination ordinance, so Klawiter can proudly ride on the low road:

Asked to consider his post from the eyes of a person who is gay, Klawiter responded:

“I think it would be made pretty clear to me that I’m not welcome there, which I would almost consider that enlightening. I would know exactly where not to go.”

As I hope would also apply to the people who don’t like bigotry.

The comments on that story are fascinating, and yes, someone started a donation site which was quickley pulled down.

One Lump of Stupid or Two, Tennessee?

Today in Theocracy

Tennessee stands on the Bible.

Tennessee stands on the Bible.

Sweet Jeebus, does Y’all Qaeda even keep up with current events?

Tennessee House Approves Bill To Make Bible Official State Book

The Republican-controlled state House of Representatives voted 55-38 to approve the Bible as state book. A companion bill could be considered as soon as Thursday in the state Senate, where Republicans hold 28 seats to five for Democrats.

So I guess it will go on a list, next to the state flower (Passion Flower), the state bird (Mockingbird), and the state beverage (Milk), and for that they are willing to bleed the state coffers dry defending it as it winds its way to the Supremes who will strike it down.

Some Fries With Your Stupid, Mr. Gohmert?

Get off the cross we need the wood


As everyone knows, Xristians are the most put-upon and powerless part of American Society, and Screwie Louie gives us the explanation: because it is politically correct: