The Morning Quote

Get Off The Cross Someone Needs The Wood

The wingnut mind at work

The wingnut mind at work

Today’s pontificating poltroon is the Pride of Iowa, ol’ Cantaloupe Calves hisself, Steve King, rhapsodizing on impeaching the Supreme Court, you know, for doing their job:

“That provision does exist, and let’s hear what the public has to say,” he added. “If that were put up before me today, and I think I mentioned Ginsburg and Kagan as being two that had been conducting same-sex marriages on their spare time and did not recuse themselves, I would put up the vote to remove them from office. And I’d like to see that case heard again and it would come down four-to-three and it in the end it would come back to the states for that decision, where it should be. But I don’t know if the public is ready for that.”

I suppose following Rep. King’s legal theory then all SCOTUS Justices who have conducted marriages (or participated in a marriage?) should be impeached for not recusing themselves? Of course, King has rationally, unemotionally, called for abolishing civil marriage altogether:

That’ll teach the ‘mos!

We Don’t Serve Your Kind

Jeebus weeps

Jeebus weeps

Here we go again:

‘No Gays Allowed,’ Grainger County store owner defends controversial sign

“WASHBURN (WATE) – A Grainger County store owner said he is simply voicing his freedom of religion and speech after posting a sign that has the community talking.”

“Phones at Amyx Hardware have been ringing non-stop after he posted a sign reading “No Gays Allowed” outside of his store in Washburn. “A lot of people have called me and congratulated me,” said owner Jeff Amyx. But other calls are on the other side of spectrum. “People calling and threatening me. Telling me I would regret this. No I’ll never regret this,” said Amyx.”

The thing with Free Speech is that no one can stop you from making a fool of yourself, but you have to be able to stand the consequences. You can proclaim proudly that you are a bigot, but you have to be prepared for the backlash (which is other peoples’ Free Speech).

The usual suspects who say that their religious freedoms are being stomped on are in the marriage industry, baking cakes, arranging flowers, operating venues, etc. I often wonder how ego-inflated a baker is to think that a cake is somehow participating in the ceremony, but a hardware store? Unless some form of religion calls for pipe-wrench wielding congregants I think Mr. Amyx is grandstanding and getting his GoFundMe glands salivating when his store is inevitably sued and shunned.

“I don’t hate people. It’s not the people I hate, it’s the sin that I hate.”

Could have fooled me. Amyx doesn’t even want to associate with gay people, it’s why he’s keeping them out of his store, which seems like a lousy way to say I love you. That’s hate.

“On Tuesday, Amyx took down the “No Gays Allowed” sign and put up a sign that reads “We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone who would violate our rights of freedom of speech and freedom of religion.”

As for impinging on Mr. Amyx’s religion (Amyx as you might have guessed is a Baptist preacher, too), I don’t understand: how does selling a pound of nails to some LGBT people do that, but then again I am not a theologian. I suspect a famous carpenter might be able to shed some light, and I’m not talking about Norm Abrams.

(WATE via Raw Story)

Claim Chowder: Rick Scarborough


Get the weiners!

Hey guys, remember earlier in the week when we reported that Y’all Qaeda’s own Pastor of Doom Rick Scarborough declared that he would immolate himself if the Supreme Court ruled in favor of Marriage Equality?

Haha, he was just kidding.

Damn. I was gonna make S’Mores.

News That Will Drive You To Drink—Updated

Get Off The Cross Someone Needs The Wood

Petunia and Pals says that the tragic shooting in Charleston was an attack on Christianity.

UPDATE: Meanwhile, that frothy mix of Lube and Fecal Matter Rick Santorum tells us (emphasis mine):

“It’s obviously a crime of hate, we don’t know the rationale, but what other rationale could there be? You’re sort of lost that someone would walk into a Bible study at a church and indiscriminately kill people. This is one of those situation where you have to take a step a back and say — you talk about the importance of prayer at this time, and we’re now seeing assaults on religious liberty we’ve never seen before.”

Tell that to Doctor Tiller, Rick.

The Afternoon Quote


Gotta light?

“We are not going to bow, we are not going to bend, and if necessary, we will burn.”

Rick Scarborough telling his flock of Xristian Xrazies to get ready to burn at the stake for the cause of stopping the ‘mos from marrying. Say, anyone gotta match?

News That Will Drive You To Drink

Kiss Jeebus on the lips

Kiss Jeebus on the lips

You know those deeply held religious beliefs that Xristian Xrazies have asked Y’all Qaeda to protect, you know so they won’t be condoning same-sex weddings and making Sweet Baby Jeebus cry?

Those deeply held beliefs now apply to birthday parties also/too.

One Lump of Stupid or Two?

Get off the cross, someone needs the wood

Jeebus weeps

Jeebus weeps

The Xristian Xrazies are vowing to go to prison rather than recognize same-sex marriages:

“With the U.S. Supreme Court expected to rule in the coming weeks that same sex marriage is legal, many Christian evangelicals say they will refuse to obey the new law, and are prepared to go to prison if necessary, News Radio 1200 WOAI reports.

“However the law is changed, I will do what I have always done,” he said. “I will continue to preach that homosexuality is a sinful life style.”

“Scarborough says some 40,000 pastors and church leaders have signed a petition at He says those who signed the petition will ‘resist all government efforts to require them to accept gay marriage, and they will accept any fine and jail time to protect their religious freedom and the freedom of others.'”

I’m not sure I understand why they will go to prison, but because Mike Huckabee and Rick Santorum both signed it, I kinda like this pledge. Keep your word, boys.

Your Saturday Bottomless Mug of Stupid

I don’t even have words for this: the musical stylings of Y’all Qaeda’s own Pastor Matthew Hagee singing with a knock-off Muppet.

Here’s Your 3-Martini Stupid

One hopes, using the same impeccable theocratic logic, that this Xristian Xrazy couple gets spayed and neutered. Do it for the children.

The Original Petunia…

Petunia…and still the best SPEAKS!

The war on Christmas continues even in June!