Today in History

Twenty years ago today, Timothy McVeigh detonated a truck bomb in front of the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building in Oklahoma City, OK. To this day, Wingnuttia has a hard time calling it right-wing domestic terrorism.

Both Sides Don’t

WTF Republicans, Honest-to-Blog?

It takes a lot to stun me, really it does.

News That Will Drive You To Drink

Don Feder, the president of listed hate group World Congress of Families presents the Top Ten Reasons Why Hitlery Will Never Be President. Here’s a taste from his introduction before he gets to his list

“Think Evita after Botox treatments. Think Madame Defarge on a bad hair day. Think Lady Macbeth with serious issues (“Out, out, damned bimbo!”).”

“To listen to the babbling heads, you’d think the Goldwater girl-turned-Alinsky-disciple could start preparing her acceptance speech (maybe Eleanor Roosevelt will help her write it). “Ooh, she’ll raise so much money.” “Ooh, women want a woman president.” In the immortal words of General Anthony McAuliffe: “Nuts!”

“Win the White House? Hillary couldn’t win a popularity contest if she was the only contestant. “

“Here are the Top Ten Reasons Hillary Rodham Clinton is more likely to become a Victoria’s Secret lingerie model than the next president…”

Writing comedy is hard, Barbie!

Let’s just say that he then does his best 1990s Yakov Smirnoff-Letterman Top 10 Countdown hybrid, his two-drink minimum routine is mostly hitting Bill Clinton’s weiner for punch lines. That is, until he gets to the recycled Yo Momma So Ugly part of his routine:

10. The Hideousness Factor – Lyndon Baines Johnson was the last profoundly ugly candidate to be elected president, and he was a legacy of the martyred JFK. Voters don’t want a leader who looks frazzled or frumpy. We’re told that Lincoln was too homely to be elected president in an age of television and paparazzi. But Lincoln’s homely face had a dignity, a gravitas. If nothing else, we want a face that reassures us, not one that scares us, a la Night of the Living Alinskyites.

Feder-800x430

And just so you know that his assessment of the attractiveness of Clinton is completely on the up and up, as you can see, he’s a hunka-hunka burnin’ love, a veritable handsome devil hisself.

And So Now You Know!

hitler-and-unicornsIf they had a time machine, men would be more likely than women to travel to pre-World War II Europe and kill Hitler, according to a recently published study.

…According to the study published in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, both men and women calculated the consequences of such a difficult decision, but women felt more conflicted about committing murder.

[Haaretz]

But of course, PJ Media is already on it as only they can be (not linking obvs, but trust me on this): What’s Wrong with Women?

“It’s not murder; it’s a mercy killing.

Let’s get one thing straight — Hitler was evil. No matter what, he was going to end up dead in a bunker somewhere, surrounded by the death and destruction he himself wrought.

There’s no reason for any handwringing. You simply kill Hitler at the first available opportunity.”

Next up on PJMedia: “What if you were Spiderman?”

News That Will Drive You To Drink

Schlafly surreal

Ancient hate goblin pessary Phyllis Schlafly is on to us, my fellow Liberals!

Damn, the plan was so flawless, to “get the illegals to jimmy the election.” Who ratted us out?

The Morning Quote

vitter.jpg

Diaper-fetishist Y’all Qaeda Sen. David Vitter (R-Dead Hooker) objected to a proposal by Senate Budget Committee Chairman Mike Enzi who wants to switch to dollar coins as a budget-cutting measure. So Diaper Dave filed an amendment with the Senate Budget Committee that would…

“strike out a provision that makes it easier for Washington elites to force Americans to give up their dollar bills and use dollar coins, like Europeans.”

The Gold Buggers in the Ayn Rand Fanclub are going to have a sad today.

Patriots For Freedumb!

teabagging for jeebusWhere’s a good jihadist when you need one?

“[Michael Conrade Sibley, a resident of Marietta, Ga.] who described himself as a “patriot” confessed to placing homemade bombs in a Georgia park to help people realize “that this type of activity could happen anywhere,” according to court documents obtained by TPM on Tuesday.”

He was only doing it to help you, don’t you see! You should be grateful!

…Along with the bombs, Sibley put print-outs of the Atlanta Falcons’ schedule as well as public transportation timetables and the locations of Marcus Jewish Centers into the backpack because he thought officials would see those as “soft targets,” the documents said.

Sibley told the agents he also placed a copy of the Quran and a book titled “The Rape of Kuwait” in the bag. 

In the movie Heathers, at the scene of one of the crimes Veronica and JD put bottled water nearby so the police would think that Ram and Kurt were gay lovers in a suicide pact.

Sibley said he placed the bombs in the park because he’s a “patriot.” He said he regretted that people weren’t “paying attention to what was going on (sic) the world” and he wanted to remind people “that this type of activity could happen anywhere,” according to the documents.

Indeed it can happen, apparently in Marietta Georgia, with Xristian Fundamentalists, or as the Republicans like to call them, Lone Wolves.

2016 Goat Rodeo Update!

Cruz

Canadian-born latino and immigrant-hating southern white supremacist Senator Ted Cruz allegedly will announce his candidacy tomorrow.

Dawg save us all if this mendacious buffoon ever gets into the oval office.

The essential Balloon Juice has an interesting analysis of Heidi Cruz and the strange puff piece in BuzzFeed the other day (which now makes sense to me):

It may just be my stubborn Democratic mindset that I can’t understand the logic of “I wanted to improve life for poor people in foreign countries, so I worked hard to get George W. Bush elected, served a stint in the Latin American branch of Condelezza [sic] Rice’s NSC, and then took a high-level job at Goldman Sachs while my husband broke into big-time Texas politics.” But then again, Laura Bush did get to be First Lady… for all the good it did her (not to mention the rest of us).

Governing is Hard, Barbie!

I’ve foolishly been trying to follow Wingnuttia’s budget plan process since they announced it earlier this week. Besides the obvious war between the Fiscal Hawks and Defense Hawks, they want an off-the-books slush fund, er, Iraq War-style contingency fund and a balanced budget amendment.

The Republicans, who campaigned on good governance, are going to have more pie fights before their budget is out of committee, if it ever is going to get out of committee, and I’m guessing that’s not going to happen either.

Anyway, I should have known that the Washington Monthly’s Ed Kilgore was already on it:

Trouble is, it’s not easy to find a way to accommodate still more defense spending in a budget that already (a) has the aforementioned phony-baloney “contingency fund,” (b) achieves its “balanced budget” targets only via “dynamic scoring” BS and by assuming revenues from implementation of Obamacare even as it proposes to abolish it, (c) proposes partially privatizing Medicare and dumping Medicaid on the states, and (d) stipulates vast but unspecified additional “entitlement” savings outside Social Security and health care.

Happy St. Patrick’s Day From That Happy Fella, Bill Donohue

God, I just love his conclusion: “You’re not going to double-cross Bill Donohue!”

It’s such a “Nobody puts Baby in the corner” moment.