The Adventures of Aaron Schock Continues!

aaron-schock-picnic-belt-photo

When we last left our fashion-forward hero Aaron Schock, he had redecorated his fabulous office in fabulous Dowtown Abby drag (at the taxpayer’s expense), his spokesperson resigned after a stream of racist comments was discovered on social media, and an ethics investigation had started on his seemingly lightweight grifting of the rubes in his district, and then there’s his mystery ability to turn real-estate profit in a down market.

Previously, we learned that on staff chez Aaron, he has a personal photographer. He’s ready for his close-up, Mr. DeMille.

Today we learn that Rep. Schock has some more ‘splaining to do:

Things didn’t let up after the weekend. On Monday, USA Today reported that Schock is one of the top travel spenders in the House of Representatives, having spent more than $100,000 on travel in 2013 alone. Adding to his growing reputation as a lavish spender was an article in Politico, which reported that he had spent thousands of dollars on tickets to the Super Bowl and the Country Music Awards and has spent more than $200,000 on legal services since 2011.

That’s a lot of cash to spend to go to non-work related events.

Schock’s litany of woes got even stranger this week, when two men were arrested and charged with attempting to rob his Illinois home. Schock blamed the media coverage of his controversies, particularly a local newspaper, for advertising the fact that the home is vacant while he’s in Washington.

Perhaps they were decorators? Maybe they were in-the-trade ‘contractors’ looking for, um, payment? Who knows!

News That Will Drive You To Drink (Schadenfreude Edition)

The Death of the Media

dbe27-teabaggingThe staff of the Tea Pary News Network resigned en masse because of lack of respect and other labor issues:

Mass Quit at Tea Party

I wonder if they wish that they had, oh, you know, A UNION?!

Your 3-Martini Stupid Is Served: Unpeech Ginsberg!

0eb2c-cari-lw-patrioticdonutholes

Well, now we’ve seen it all. Earlier in the year Wingnuttia was debating canceling the State of the Union Address because they didn’t want to invite The Kenyan Usurper to visit them in the hollowed halls of Congress, and now they are obtusely arguing that Justice Ginsberg should be impeached because she fell asleep during the speech:

You may recall pictures of Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg sitting on the front row in the House Chamber sleeping during President Obama’s State of the Union Address. News recently broke explaining why: “I wasn’t 100 percent sober.”

A State of the Union message is a constitutionally mandated duty (Article II, Section 3), and for those who respect the Constitution, this address is serious stuff. But apparently not to Justice Ginsburg – which probably is not surprising given that her rulings routinely reflect a general dismissal of the Constitution and that she publicly advises leaders in other nations to seek something better than the U. S. Constitution for their country.

…The first federal judge to be removed from the bench came at the behest of President Thomas Jefferson. That judge, John Pickering, was no obscure lightweight. Originally placed on the federal bench by President George Washington, Pickering had been a framer of the New Hampshire Constitution, served as the state’s governor, was selected as a delegate to frame the U.S. Constitution (but declined) and was subsequently a ratifier of the federal Constitution. So why was he removed? Among the reasons given was public intoxication (as well as a public disrespect for God). The Founding Fathers considered this to be bad behavior for a judge.

Don’t think I am calling for the removal of Ginsburg for her recent faux pas. Rather, I am pointing out that the current notion that federal judges are unaccountable because they have lifetime appointments is one of the greatest lies of our lifetime.

D’Vorce D’Spousa’s Totally Dog Whistle Tweet

Documentarian fabulist, convicted felon, fired Y’all Qaeda business school dean, and would-be bigamist D’VORCE D’SPOUSA has done gone slipped into Ann Coulter racist territory. And while I seriously believe it is only a matter of time before Coulter starts selling speculum peeks for $5, it is really hard to imagine how much lower this man will go for attention.

Your 3-Martini Stupid

Novelty 2016 Goat Rodeo contender Ben Carson ominously suggests that The Kenyan Usurper is guilty of TREASON! because he won’t give in to Y’all Qaeda’s demands to deport 11 million people.

The Morning Quote

Arkansas state Senator Jason Rapert:

“With ISIS spreading all over the Middle East and Africa and Islamic Extremists carrying out violence in Europe, the United Kingdom and even in the United States, I wonder why the civilized world just sits by when we have weapons that could wipe out these barbarians where they are concentrated?”

“I believe it is time to annihilate the strongholds and pursue the rest till we have them all captured or killed. A strategically placed nuclear weapon would save the lives of our soldiers and quickly turn things around.”

“It is time for the insanity to be stopped.”

We’re guessing Arkansas state Senator Jason Rapert’s never played Risk or Stratego.

Mixed Messages, Cont.

Bumper Sticker reloading

The second, lower bumper sticker is what takes this from typical NRA bravado to high art.

(Hat tip: Scissrhead Patrick Bjork, and yes, we have a new meme category: Mixed Messages.)

Y’all Qaeda’s Social Event Of The Season

Not all GOPers are racist. But if you are a racist, you're probably a GOPer.

Not all GOPers are racist. But if you are a racist, you’re probably a GOPer.

The League of the South looks to the present and future. However, from time to time we do look back at our past.

This 14th of April will mark the 150th anniversary of John Wilkes Booth’s execution of the tyrant Abraham Lincoln. The League will, in some form or fashion, celebrate this event. We remember Booth’s diary entry: “Our country owed all her troubles to him, and God simply made me the instrument of his punishment.” A century and a half after the fact, The League of the South thanks Mr. Booth for his service to the South and to humanity.

Stay tuned . . .
Michael Hill

I suppose this is how modern-day Republicans celebrate their founding?

(Hat tip: Right Wing Watch)

Your 3-Martini Stupid: Inpeech The Kenyan Edition

InPeech

Meet Rep. Walter Jones of the crazee state of North Carolina, who thinks that The Kenyan Usurper should be inpeeched for the high-crime and misdemeanor of, what, exactly?

“I said that to John Boehner when Mr. Obama made this presidential order, I said why don’t we follow the Constitution, in the Constitution, articles of impeachment? I’m sorry, I don’t like the idea of impeaching anyone, but for goodness sakes when you make those kinds of executive decisions to the detriment of our country, of telling people who came here illegally, ‘You’re now illegal because I just signed an order,’ that’s why we’re in the situation we’re in now, we don’t follow the Constitution.”

I think he found Otis’ still in Mayberry.

The Morning Quote

Joni-Ernst

Brian Williams might not be the only person exaggerating an Iraq memory. Sen. Joni Ernst is only now being questioned about her much-repeated claim of being the only Senator who has actual experience in a war zone, though she never came under fire:

“I am very proud of my service and by law I am defined as a combat veteran,” Ernst said. “I have never once claimed that I have a Combat Action Badge. I have never claimed that I have a Purple Heart. What I have claimed is that I have served in a combat zone.”

I think you ought to be declared, by law, something else, Joni.

“Just because I’m not an infantryman and I wasn’t kicking in doors, I don’t believe I’m less of a player,” she added.

Player. That’s close. I would have gone for tool, a big, shiny tool.

(Raw Story tells us about how Joni might be fabricating her Combat Veteran status, emphasis on “might be”.)