The Morning Quote

vitter.jpg

Diaper-fetishist Y’all Qaeda Sen. David Vitter (R-Dead Hooker) objected to a proposal by Senate Budget Committee Chairman Mike Enzi who wants to switch to dollar coins as a budget-cutting measure. So Diaper Dave filed an amendment with the Senate Budget Committee that would…

“strike out a provision that makes it easier for Washington elites to force Americans to give up their dollar bills and use dollar coins, like Europeans.”

The Gold Buggers in the Ayn Rand Fanclub are going to have a sad today.

Patriots For Freedumb!

teabagging for jeebusWhere’s a good jihadist when you need one?

“[Michael Conrade Sibley, a resident of Marietta, Ga.] who described himself as a “patriot” confessed to placing homemade bombs in a Georgia park to help people realize “that this type of activity could happen anywhere,” according to court documents obtained by TPM on Tuesday.”

He was only doing it to help you, don’t you see! You should be grateful!

…Along with the bombs, Sibley put print-outs of the Atlanta Falcons’ schedule as well as public transportation timetables and the locations of Marcus Jewish Centers into the backpack because he thought officials would see those as “soft targets,” the documents said.

Sibley told the agents he also placed a copy of the Quran and a book titled “The Rape of Kuwait” in the bag. 

In the movie Heathers, at the scene of one of the crimes Veronica and JD put bottled water nearby so the police would think that Ram and Kurt were gay lovers in a suicide pact.

Sibley said he placed the bombs in the park because he’s a “patriot.” He said he regretted that people weren’t “paying attention to what was going on (sic) the world” and he wanted to remind people “that this type of activity could happen anywhere,” according to the documents.

Indeed it can happen, apparently in Marietta Georgia, with Xristian Fundamentalists, or as the Republicans like to call them, Lone Wolves.

2016 Goat Rodeo Update!

Cruz

Canadian-born latino and immigrant-hating southern white supremacist Senator Ted Cruz allegedly will announce his candidacy tomorrow.

Dawg save us all if this mendacious buffoon ever gets into the oval office.

The essential Balloon Juice has an interesting analysis of Heidi Cruz and the strange puff piece in BuzzFeed the other day (which now makes sense to me):

It may just be my stubborn Democratic mindset that I can’t understand the logic of “I wanted to improve life for poor people in foreign countries, so I worked hard to get George W. Bush elected, served a stint in the Latin American branch of Condelezza [sic] Rice’s NSC, and then took a high-level job at Goldman Sachs while my husband broke into big-time Texas politics.” But then again, Laura Bush did get to be First Lady… for all the good it did her (not to mention the rest of us).

Governing is Hard, Barbie!

I’ve foolishly been trying to follow Wingnuttia’s budget plan process since they announced it earlier this week. Besides the obvious war between the Fiscal Hawks and Defense Hawks, they want an off-the-books slush fund, er, Iraq War-style contingency fund and a balanced budget amendment.

The Republicans, who campaigned on good governance, are going to have more pie fights before their budget is out of committee, if it ever is going to get out of committee, and I’m guessing that’s not going to happen either.

Anyway, I should have known that the Washington Monthly’s Ed Kilgore was already on it:

Trouble is, it’s not easy to find a way to accommodate still more defense spending in a budget that already (a) has the aforementioned phony-baloney “contingency fund,” (b) achieves its “balanced budget” targets only via “dynamic scoring” BS and by assuming revenues from implementation of Obamacare even as it proposes to abolish it, (c) proposes partially privatizing Medicare and dumping Medicaid on the states, and (d) stipulates vast but unspecified additional “entitlement” savings outside Social Security and health care.

Happy St. Patrick’s Day From That Happy Fella, Bill Donohue

God, I just love his conclusion: “You’re not going to double-cross Bill Donohue!”

It’s such a “Nobody puts Baby in the corner” moment.

Aaron Schock Hits Bottom, Is Out, Goes Down…

The Revenge of Dowtown Abbey!

Will Aaron Schock reveal where he keeps the batteries for that belt?

Will Aaron Schock reveal where he keeps the batteries for that belt?

Fashion-forward Rep. Aaron Schock (R-Lindsey Graham’s Closet) has resigned so he can spend more time with his belt collection.

Some Fries With Your Stupid, D’Vorce D’Spousa?

Get Off The Cross, We Need The Wood

(Hat tip: Scissorhead Skinny-D)

(Hat tip: Scissorhead Skinny-D)

Documentarian fabulist, convicted felon, fired Y’all Qaeda business school dean, and would-be bigamist D’VORCE D’SPOUSA answers the question all of Wingnuttia is asking: Why do the DFHs hate Dinesh D’Souza?

“…precisely because I am a non-white, immigrant, patriot that exposes a lot of the Obama administration running amok, all of this craziness that masquerades under the name of progressivism or progress. I’m blowing the whistle on these scoundrels, so naturally they’re unhappy with me, and I’m happy about that.”

Gee, I don’t hate anyone*, but I certainly don’t hate D’Souza for those reasons. You know, the lying, pandering, intellectual dishonesty (and legal dishonesty), and hypocrisy are enough for me.

*Like my Mormon friends taught me, I learned to love some people the least.

The Morning Quote

Maybe K-Lo is available, boys!

Maybe K-Lo is available, boys!

The GOP-controlled Congress has only one woman chairing a committee, and she is due to retire at the end of the year, and due to the arcane rules of the He-Man Woman Hater’s Club (Motto: What War on Women?), there are no contenders in the wings to fill her pumps:

“If we don’t have a woman chairman, that will be a big problem,” said a former GOP leadership aide.

Maybe they should try Craig’s List?

(The Hill)

One Lump of Stupid or Two, Sen. Cotton? UPDATED

(TPM) The Front Page Of The NY Daily News Today


“The end of these negotiations isn’t an unintended consequence of congressional action. It is very much an intended consequence. A feature, not a bug, so speak,” Cotton said in January, speaking at a conservative conference hosted by the advocacy group Heritage Action for America. [Huffington Post]

I think that could be submissable as evidence that Tehran Tom Cotton’s action was premeditated, should anyone pursue Logan Act charges.

UPDATE 1: Joe Biden has sumpin’ to say:

UPDATE 2: And Tehran Tom gives us motivation for his seditious acts as he meets with defense contractors:

Cotton is scheduled to appear at an “Off the Record and strictly Non-Attribution” event with the National Defense Industrial Association, a lobbying group for defense contractors, less than 24 hours after the letter was sent, reported The Intercept. [Raw Story]

UPDATE 3: Iran responds:

Asked about the open letter of 47 US Senators to Iranian leaders, the Iranian Foreign Minister, Dr. Javad Zarif, responded that “in our view, this letter has no legal value and is mostly a propaganda ploy. It is very interesting that while negotiations are still in progress and while no agreement has been reached, some political pressure groups are so afraid even of the prospect of an agreement that they resort to unconventional methods, unprecedented in diplomatic history. This indicates that like Netanyahu, who considers peace as an existential threat, some are opposed to any agreement, regardless of its content.

…I should bring one important point to the attention of the authors and that is, the world is not the United States, and the conduct of inter-state relations is governed by international law, and not by US domestic law. The authors may not fully understand that in international law, governments represent the entirety of their respective states, are responsible for the conduct of foreign affairs, are required to fulfil the obligations they undertake with other states and may not invoke their internal law as justification for failure to perform their international obligations.

Schröedinger’s Candidate, Updated

Rand-in-box-1

In case any of you doubt that you need to open the box to see if Schröedinger’s cat is alive or not, one of the signers to the arguably treasonous open letter to Iran is Senator Rand Paul, the principled, anti-interventionist, isolationist, libertarian 2016 Goat Rodeo candidate.

In the Wingnuttian contest for the biggest fraud in American Politics, Rand Paul is giving Paul Ryan a serious challenge.