The Morning Quote

The GOP Healthcare Plan for Ladies

The GOP Healthcare Plan for Ladies

These Republicans are the Morlocks:

“After 20 weeks if you wanted to get an abortion you could go and say you were raped and you could have the abortion,” Bright said. “You wouldn’t be denied. There’s no police report.”

Bright also argued that, even in the case of a woman being sexually assaulted and immediately taken to a hospital, the fetus “had a right.”

Maybe it’s just me, but given the tender administrations of the police and prosecutors when a woman when reports a rape, why the f*** would she lie about it?

Your Saturday Bottomless Mug of Stupid

This segment dives head first into misogyny with some douche mansplaining what women really want:

“Women do earn less in America because they choose to. They would rather go to their daughter’s piano recital than stay all night at work, working on a proposal, so they end up earning less. They’re less ambitious. And I think this is sort of God’s way, this is nature’s way of saying women should be at home with the kids, they’re happier there.”

–Gavin McInnes, co-founder of VICE

If you wonder why I tagged this as a Blog Against Theocracy, it is because McInnes uses God to justify his outrageous statements. The war on women is very real, and it is a front in the larger war that the theocrats are waging against Democracy. Whether he is himself a theocrat doesn’t matter, he’s a soldier in their larger cause.

One Lump of Stupid or Two, Dr. Ablow?

Fox News resident psychological consultant (who may or may not be certified (!) and licensed to practice), Keith Ablow:

“You know, I’ve been outspoken on this. I think men should be able to veto women’s abortions if they’re willing to care for the child after it’s born.”

News That Will Drive You To Drink

Don Feder, the president of listed hate group World Congress of Families presents the Top Ten Reasons Why Hitlery Will Never Be President. Here’s a taste from his introduction before he gets to his list

“Think Evita after Botox treatments. Think Madame Defarge on a bad hair day. Think Lady Macbeth with serious issues (“Out, out, damned bimbo!”).”

“To listen to the babbling heads, you’d think the Goldwater girl-turned-Alinsky-disciple could start preparing her acceptance speech (maybe Eleanor Roosevelt will help her write it). “Ooh, she’ll raise so much money.” “Ooh, women want a woman president.” In the immortal words of General Anthony McAuliffe: “Nuts!”

“Win the White House? Hillary couldn’t win a popularity contest if she was the only contestant. “

“Here are the Top Ten Reasons Hillary Rodham Clinton is more likely to become a Victoria’s Secret lingerie model than the next president…”

Writing comedy is hard, Barbie!

Let’s just say that he then does his best 1990s Yakov Smirnoff-Letterman Top 10 Countdown hybrid, his two-drink minimum routine is mostly hitting Bill Clinton’s weiner for punch lines. That is, until he gets to the recycled Yo Momma So Ugly part of his routine:

10. The Hideousness Factor – Lyndon Baines Johnson was the last profoundly ugly candidate to be elected president, and he was a legacy of the martyred JFK. Voters don’t want a leader who looks frazzled or frumpy. We’re told that Lincoln was too homely to be elected president in an age of television and paparazzi. But Lincoln’s homely face had a dignity, a gravitas. If nothing else, we want a face that reassures us, not one that scares us, a la Night of the Living Alinskyites.

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And just so you know that his assessment of the attractiveness of Clinton is completely on the up and up, as you can see, he’s a hunka-hunka burnin’ love, a veritable handsome devil hisself.

The Morning Quote

Maybe K-Lo is available, boys!

Maybe K-Lo is available, boys!

The GOP-controlled Congress has only one woman chairing a committee, and she is due to retire at the end of the year, and due to the arcane rules of the He-Man Woman Hater’s Club (Motto: What War on Women?), there are no contenders in the wings to fill her pumps:

“If we don’t have a woman chairman, that will be a big problem,” said a former GOP leadership aide.

Maybe they should try Craig’s List?

(The Hill)

More News From The Front: The War On Women, Cont.

Ancient hate goblin pessary Phyllis Schlafly explains why we should limit the number of women who go to college, you know, so the woman who do go to college can earn their Mrs. Degree?

News From The Front Lines Of The War on Women

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This is what happens if you don’t take science classes, kids!

BOISE, Idaho — An Idaho lawmaker received a brief lesson on female anatomy after asking if a woman can swallow a small camera for doctors to conduct a remote gynecological exam.

The question Monday from Republican state Rep. Vito Barbieri came as the House State Affairs Committee heard nearly three hours of testimony on a bill that would ban doctors from prescribing abortion-inducing medication through telemedicine.

Dr. Julie Madsen was testifying in opposition to the bill when Barbieri asked the question. Madsen replied that would be impossible because swallowed pills do not end up in the vagina.

“Fascinating. That makes sense,” Barbieri said, amid the crowd’s laughter.

2016 Goat Rodeo Update: Let’s Look At Who Jeb Is Hiring!

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Hey! Let’s look at what the smart Bush, NotChimpy bought! Meet Ethan Czahor, who will be Jebbie’s 2016 Goat Rodeo Chief Technology Officer, you know, as soon as he deletes a few things:

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He seems nice.

Guess technical genius Ethan Czahor didn’t know that the Internet has a very, very long memory? Or perhaps like all Wingnuts, he thinks he’s smarter?

I can hardly wait to see who else NotChimpy hires, because Leadership begins with finding the right people to lead.

Because We Love A GOP Apology

Hey guys, remember that time some Wingnut from West Virginia told us that rape babies are beautiful and that’s why women should carry them to term? (All together now: “Me Neither!”) — Well, Rep. Brian Kurcaba has apologized in the best good mannered way of Y’all Qaeda:

Kurcaba, a Republican from Monongalia, issued a statement Friday apologizing to “anyone who took my comments about the sanctity of human life to mean anything other than that all children are precious regardless of circumstances.”

Take that, sluts.