Your 3-Martini Stupid is Served, Huckabee

So Planned Parenthood is essentially ISIS? Got it, Uncle Sugar.

The War on Women, Cont.

¡JEB! The Smartest Bush® would force women to have their rapists’s baby, just has he forced Terri Schiavo to live on as a vegetable.

The War on Women is real, but we need to remember that it is only one front in the theocrats larger War on Democracy.

¡JEB! is really a craven theocrat.

The Afternoon Quote

Parts is parts, cont.

“They tell you that there’s a war on women. There is no war on women. There may be a war on what’s inside of women, but there is no war on women in this country.”

–2016 Goat Rodeo GOP novelty candidate Dr. Ben Carson, and if that doesn’t send a chill up and down your spine, I don’t know what will.

News That Will Drive You To Drink

And no one boo’ed, the hook didn’t appear to yank Gomer off the stage. The wagons didn’t arrive to take him away before he hurt himself and anyone nearby.

The thing to keep in mind is that while we all think that each one of us is more likely to become preznint of the United States than Mike Huckabee (Uncle Sugar hisself), every single Republican—without exception—in the 2016 Goat Rodeo is now for overturning a woman’s right to choose.

Most of the Republican candidates would force a woman to carry her rapist’s baby, too. It is no longer an outlier position, this is now mainstream position on the right.

Think about that, it should send shudders down your spine.

We keep saying it: the war on women is very real. That said it is but one battle in the theocrats larger war against democracy.

The Bottomless Mimosa of Stupid Is Served

Rubio is proud that he is not a Climate Scientist, but clearly he graduated from medical school.

What a chump.

Your Saturday Bottomless Mug of Stupid

The Fox Effect, cont.

Erick the Red

Erick the Red

Our blog’s old pal E-Squared has disinvited short-fingered vulgarian Donald Trump from addressing his gathering of paste-eating mouth-breathers at the Redstate Gathering (which still sounds like a bad horror flick on the ABC Movie of the Week to me). Take it away, Ewick!

“I have tried to give a great deal of latitude to Donald Trump in his run for the Presidency.

“He is not a professional politician and is known for being a blunt talker. He connects with so much of the anger in the Republican base and is not afraid to be outspoken on a lot of issues. But there are even lines blunt talkers and unprofessional politicians should not cross.

“Decency is one of those lines.

“As much as I do personally like Donald Trump, his comment about Megyn Kelly on CNN is a bridge too far for me.

“In a CNN interview, Mr. Trump said of Megyn Kelly, “You could see there was blood coming out of her eyes. Blood coming out of her wherever.”

“It was not the “blood coming out of her eyes” part that was the problem.

“I think there is no way to otherwise interpret Mr. Trump’s comment. In an attempted clarification, Mr. Trump’s team tells me he meant “whatever”, not “where ever.”

Can it be that Ewick son of Ewick, the man who called a sitting Justice of the US Supreme Court a child-molesting goat f***er has boundaries? Or is it that as a Fox News contributor (not sure he’s still on the payroll, but whatevs) he’s just following orders.

Anyway the liberal side of Twitter is going a little frothy finding some of his more choice lines about the ladies, and the conservative side is taking Ewick to the woodshed, you know, for being politically correct.

Deer Eating PopcornPopcorn, anyone?

One Lump of Stupid or Two, Sen. Lankford?

face-palm

“So [abortion generally and Planned Parenthood explicitly] is important to us as well. This is not just a women’s issue, this is a men’s issue as well. Because this is a family issue. And the family is extremely important to all of us.”

–Sen. James Lankford of Oklahoma, mansplaining to Sen. Barbara Boxer.

News That Will Drive You To Drink

Naw, de-funding Planned Parenthood is not a War on Woman, says ¡JEB! the smartest Bush®, who is alleged to be the grown-up in the 2016 Goat Rodeo.

And in case you are wondering, Ms. Siddiqui is a political reporter for the Guardian.

The Monster Speaks

Trumpenstein Monster from K-N-K

image: courtesy of Scissorhead Keith-not-Keith

“Real-estate mogul Donald Trump said Monday that he is in favor of Republicans moving to shut down the federal government in the Planned Parenthood funding fight.

“I can tell you this: I would,” the presidential candidate said when asked by conservative radio host Hugh Hewitt whether he supports shutting the government down in the fight.”

Tipping Their Hand

Erick the Red

Erick the Red

Our old pal e-Squared is giving out his Christmas presents early:

This tweet baffled me until I learned that there is something called the Gathering, which will be held at the end of this week. The Gathering (sounds like bad fantasy writing for an ABC movie of the week, but what do you expect from Ewick son of Ewick?) is something similar to a debate or cattle call and at least 8 of the 2016 Goat Rodeo candidates are confirmed to be there.

So the question is: why would you broadcast ahead of time one of your gotcha questions?

Take it away, Brian Beutler:

“By attempting to capitalize on the videos in an unscrupulous way, conservatives have unleashed political forces Republicans can’t control. Anti-abortion zealots are now demanding that Republicans in Congress refuse to appropriate money for government operations unless Planned Parenthood’s funding is abolished—a new test of Republican pro-life bona fides. To force Congress’ hand, they’re admonishing Republican presidential candidates that the anti-abortion vote will only follow those who support the shutdown effort. The purpose of Erick Erickson’s above tweet, alerting the candidates to his question days in advance, is to eclipse the instinctual aversion many of them will have to promoting a government shutdown, and get as many of them on the same page as possible.”

I think Beutler has it exactly right.

The larger, more Frankenstein story is pretty simple: preznint Reagan, who was not a religious man, invited the evangelicals inside the tent because he needed them, and he thought they were useful idiots. Since his time, they have slipped out of their straight jackets, taken over the party, and now they are running things. (In so far you can describe anything going on in the GOP as “running”. Takes some imagination, I know.) The monster always comes back to destroy the maker. Always.

If this Planned Parenthood fight were really about donated tissue research, Wingnuttia would just make that illegal (the GOP made it legal back in the ’90s saying it was no different than donated cadaver tissue). And of course there was also the emotional plea from Nancy Reagan when St. Ronnie admitted that he had dementia, and research would help other sufferers.

The Planned Parenthood defunding fight is about chipping away at abortion rights, and ultimately it is about chipping away at our democracy and in favor of installing a Xristian theocracy. There’s a reason I call them Y’all Qaeda.

The War on Women continues.