Claim Cowder Update: My Husband Isn’t Gay…

he’s just a great big tool.

Back in December, we said that we would come back for Claim Chowder when we linked to the promo for this TLC special (TLC is now clearly the Theocracy-Lite Channel, giving the Quiverful-movement heroes The Duggars a platform for their strange brand of female-subjugation fundamentalism), in which gay Mormon men marry straight Mormon women and then declare themselves straight somehow, as they go out cruising/oogling men in Utah:

And now for the Claim Chowder update: our friends over at Truth Wins Out have a review up, somehow they saw a preview show I guess (the TLC program airs Sunday Jan. 11). TWO thinks that the show probably back-fired for TLC:

With trepidation I watched “My Husband’s Not Gay.” I feared that it would be an effective tool to recruit impressionable youth into “ex-gay” programs, promote junk science, and airbrush the pain that often results from unstable mixed orientation marriages.

To my surprise, this show backfired. It may actually help the LGBT community, while harming the very “ex-gay” programs that this show sought to promote. The featured subjects appeared insincere, unconvincing, and gayer than Liberace in spandex.

It’s a very funny review, please go read and enjoy.

What TLC does not tell us about the stars of the program is that they are, in fact, part of a Mormon ex-gay therapy movement called North Star. One of the series stars, Pret, is actually on the board of directors:

I hope that these women get nice settlements in the sure-to-be-pending divorces, because if this isn’t emotional abuse, I don’t know what is. Grown (gay) men having slumber parties without their wives? Gimme a break.

On a more serious note, in the same news cycle in which we have a transgendered teen, Leelah Alcorn, kill herself because of lack of acceptance in her very conservative Christian family, TLC really has a tin ear to bring us this treif, regardless if it backfires on them or not. I would say that TLC should be ashamed, but that gives them some sort of moral acceptance, which they clearly do not deserve.

(Hat tip: Scissorhead Bluegal)

What Are They Doing Now: Bob McDonnell

Rolex Bob McDonnell gets what he deserves

Rolex Bob McDonnell gets what he deserves

The last time we checked in with smooth criminal and former Virginia Gov. Rolex Bob McDonnell, both he and his wife were found guilty of Public Corruption charges, and of course being polite grifters, each was pointing to the other, because the best defense is to be so strongly offensive? Yes, we’ll go with that. They are to be sentenced soon (January 6 for him, Feb. 20th for her)

So the news today is that the US Probation Office who set guidelines for sentencing federal offenders has returned with the suggestion that Ol’ Sticky Fingers be sentenced to no less than 10 years and one month to no more than 12 years and 7 months. The report is sealed and so no one is sure how that range of years was determined, but there are some clues:

  • McDonnell is a high-ranking politician
  • McDonnell took multiple bribes
  • The total value of the bribes was so high

So be of good cheer: “U.S. District Judge James Spencer is not required to follow [the guidelines]. But experts said Spencer typically heeds the probation office’s advice, and judges in his district have imposed sentences within the recommended range more than 70 percent of the time in recent years.”

Sometimes the crooks get what they have coming. We’ll keep an eye on this one.

Here’s Your Stupid, On The Rocks

Todd Starnes Status

When I snapped that, it was shared 1800 times and liked by 7700+ others.

The Crass Menagerie


The reality TV stars will next release “The Duck Commander Faith and Family Bible,” a King James translation of the Old and New Testaments that will include branded features about the family.

The Bible, which will be published Oct. 28 by Thomas Nelson, will focus on patriarch Phil Robertson’s five core values — faith, family, fellowship, forgiveness, and freedom…

The Bible will include “30 life-changing testimonials along with 125 ‘Set Your Sights’ features” from Robertson and his oldest son, Al Robertson, who serve as executive editors for the project.

Cash only.

Claim Chowder From The Donald

Short-fingered vulgarian Donald Trump

Short-fingered vulgarian Donald Trump

You might recall last week that short-fingered vulgarian Donald Trump opined on how now-known bigot Donald Sterling was set up by his girlfriend from hell:

“It’s terrible. [Donald Sterling] got set up by a very, very bad girlfriend, let’s face it,” Trump said on “Fox & Friends.”

“[V. Stiviano’s] called the girlfriend from hell, but what he said was terrible and despicable and a very strong action’s going to be taken,” he added. “There’s no question about it.”

You see, now The Donald is saying that he was not supporting the Other Donald (also a vulgarian):

“I knocked the hell out of Donald Sterling for five minutes, said what a bad guy, said, you know, horrible things he said,” Trump said. “And then I said just in passing and by the way, the ‘girlfriend from hell,’ and everybody laughed. Which is obviously true — I mean this girlfriend is taping him, and with very bad intentions obviously. She’s bad news.”

So there!

That was 5 minutes of hell-knocking? But I like the way he cannot help himself and returns to bashing the girlfriend from hell, who (let’s face it) was an at-will employee of Mr. Sterling. But given that Girlfriends from Hell are The Donald’s specialty, well, who is to argue?

The Morning Quote

Short-fingered vulgarian Donald Trump

Short-fingered vulgarian Donald Trump

“It’s terrible. [Donald Sterling] got set up by a very, very bad girlfriend, let’s face it,” Trump said on “Fox & Friends.”

“[V. Stiviano’s] called the girlfriend from hell, but what he said was terrible and despicable and a very strong action’s going to be taken,” he added. “There’s no question about it.”

–Short-fingered vularian Donald Trump, who is something of an expert on girlfriends from hell, according to his ex-wives (but we are only guessing), some of whom were previously girlfriends from hell (our guessing continues).

Grifters Gotta Grift, Trump Style


I’m sure short-fingered vulgarian The Donald has bigger plans in mind! Moar Much Bigger!

The Frontline on War on Christmas is Alaska, it seems


Alaska’s part-time governor and full-time grifterSarah Palin has written a book that is allegedly about her Christmas traditions, which mostly seems to be anecdotes about how put-upon she is. Take it away, Daily Beast:

Above all, Palin never misses an opportunity to turn the attention back toward herself and how shabbily she has been treated in recent years. For instance, what begins as a disquisition on how atheists are the only Americans who demand to be legally protected from being offended quickly morphs into Palin talking about all the “concentrated ‘offense’” she stoically shouldered in 2008. (“During that campaign, I saw obscene protesters, had my personal e-mail hacked, was mischaracterized through ridiculously scandalous headlines, received death threats, and was stalked.”) In case anyone misses the point, she revisits the same theme a few chapters later, when recalling her state of mind on Christmas Night 2008: “I’d been through a challenging campaign for the vice presidency in which I’d been maligned, my family had been mocked, my e-mail had been hacked, and our privacy lost. There was literally no accusation against us that was too strange, too bizarre, to publish.”

Well, that sounds like the true meaning of Christmas, you know, if you were the Narcisus Borealis.

The Family Franchise, continues

Why do the Duggar’s continue to inflict their DNA onto us? Might as well ask why the sky is blue or Boehner is orange:

Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar’s eldest son, Josh, 25, announced Monday morning on the “Today” show that he’s expecting his third child with wife, Anna, 24.


In typical Duggar fashion, Anna’s road to pregnancy likely will be documented on their hit TLC show. In fact, the adorable mom took a pregnancy test during the Duggar family’s trip to Asia to shoot their reality special, “19 Kids and Counting: Duggars Do Asia” (premiering Tuesday at 9 p.m. ET on TLC). Much to her disappointment, the test came back negative. However, a few short weeks later, the happy news was confirmed.


Like Josh’s parents, Jim Bob, 47, and Michelle, 46, who named all their kids using the letter “J,” Josh and Anna may be planning to do the same with the letter, “M.” For now, they’re keeping details like the name and the gender of the child private.

Uh-huh. Private for now, but before too long they will have her up in the stirrups and selling peeks for $5 a shot.


Meanwhile, in North Carolina

…the Xristian Xrazies are legislating women’s nipples, having already explored the limits that they can go on woo-wahs:

The state House Judiciary Committee C approved House Bill 34, which makes it a Class H felony to purposefully expose “private parts” for the “purpose of arousing or gratifying sexual desire.”

The bill expands the state’s definition of “private parts” to include a woman’s “nipple, or any portion of the areola.”

OK, I’ll bite: what’s the big deal here?

Republican state Rep. Rayne Brown told lawmakers that she was co-sponsoring the bill because activists had held a topless women’s rights rally in Asheville last summer, where as many as a dozen women bared their breasts

And I have it on good authority that on any given day in Asheville a dozen men are baring their breasts. So what are you going to do about it?

Democratic state Rep. Annie Mobley said she worried that women wearing “questionable fashions” could be prosecuted under the new rules.

But Committee Chairwoman Rep. Sarah Steven (R) suggested that women could use pasties or nipple coverings just to be safe.

“They’d be good to go” with nipple coverings, Stevens said.

“You know what they say, duct tape fixes everything,” Republican state Rep. Tim Moore agreed.

OK, so we found the Bro’s of North Carolina. Boys, I suggest you put some duct tape over your little Bro’s and then rip that sucker off. Better yet, ask your wives and/or girlfriends to rip off the duct tape.

You know, duct tape does fix everything…

(Crooks and Liars)