Here’s Your Stupid, On The Rocks

Todd Starnes Status

When I snapped that, it was shared 1800 times and liked by 7700+ others.

The Crass Menagerie


The reality TV stars will next release “The Duck Commander Faith and Family Bible,” a King James translation of the Old and New Testaments that will include branded features about the family.

The Bible, which will be published Oct. 28 by Thomas Nelson, will focus on patriarch Phil Robertson’s five core values — faith, family, fellowship, forgiveness, and freedom…

The Bible will include “30 life-changing testimonials along with 125 ‘Set Your Sights’ features” from Robertson and his oldest son, Al Robertson, who serve as executive editors for the project.

Cash only.

Claim Chowder From The Donald

Short-fingered vulgarian Donald Trump

Short-fingered vulgarian Donald Trump

You might recall last week that short-fingered vulgarian Donald Trump opined on how now-known bigot Donald Sterling was set up by his girlfriend from hell:

“It’s terrible. [Donald Sterling] got set up by a very, very bad girlfriend, let’s face it,” Trump said on “Fox & Friends.”

“[V. Stiviano’s] called the girlfriend from hell, but what he said was terrible and despicable and a very strong action’s going to be taken,” he added. “There’s no question about it.”

You see, now The Donald is saying that he was not supporting the Other Donald (also a vulgarian):

“I knocked the hell out of Donald Sterling for five minutes, said what a bad guy, said, you know, horrible things he said,” Trump said. “And then I said just in passing and by the way, the ‘girlfriend from hell,’ and everybody laughed. Which is obviously true — I mean this girlfriend is taping him, and with very bad intentions obviously. She’s bad news.”

So there!

That was 5 minutes of hell-knocking? But I like the way he cannot help himself and returns to bashing the girlfriend from hell, who (let’s face it) was an at-will employee of Mr. Sterling. But given that Girlfriends from Hell are The Donald’s specialty, well, who is to argue?

The Morning Quote

Short-fingered vulgarian Donald Trump

Short-fingered vulgarian Donald Trump

“It’s terrible. [Donald Sterling] got set up by a very, very bad girlfriend, let’s face it,” Trump said on “Fox & Friends.”

“[V. Stiviano’s] called the girlfriend from hell, but what he said was terrible and despicable and a very strong action’s going to be taken,” he added. “There’s no question about it.”

–Short-fingered vularian Donald Trump, who is something of an expert on girlfriends from hell, according to his ex-wives (but we are only guessing), some of whom were previously girlfriends from hell (our guessing continues).

Grifters Gotta Grift, Trump Style


I’m sure short-fingered vulgarian The Donald has bigger plans in mind! Moar Much Bigger!

The Frontline on War on Christmas is Alaska, it seems


Alaska’s part-time governor and full-time grifterSarah Palin has written a book that is allegedly about her Christmas traditions, which mostly seems to be anecdotes about how put-upon she is. Take it away, Daily Beast:

Above all, Palin never misses an opportunity to turn the attention back toward herself and how shabbily she has been treated in recent years. For instance, what begins as a disquisition on how atheists are the only Americans who demand to be legally protected from being offended quickly morphs into Palin talking about all the “concentrated ‘offense’” she stoically shouldered in 2008. (“During that campaign, I saw obscene protesters, had my personal e-mail hacked, was mischaracterized through ridiculously scandalous headlines, received death threats, and was stalked.”) In case anyone misses the point, she revisits the same theme a few chapters later, when recalling her state of mind on Christmas Night 2008: “I’d been through a challenging campaign for the vice presidency in which I’d been maligned, my family had been mocked, my e-mail had been hacked, and our privacy lost. There was literally no accusation against us that was too strange, too bizarre, to publish.”

Well, that sounds like the true meaning of Christmas, you know, if you were the Narcisus Borealis.

The Family Franchise, continues

Why do the Duggar’s continue to inflict their DNA onto us? Might as well ask why the sky is blue or Boehner is orange:

Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar’s eldest son, Josh, 25, announced Monday morning on the “Today” show that he’s expecting his third child with wife, Anna, 24.


In typical Duggar fashion, Anna’s road to pregnancy likely will be documented on their hit TLC show. In fact, the adorable mom took a pregnancy test during the Duggar family’s trip to Asia to shoot their reality special, “19 Kids and Counting: Duggars Do Asia” (premiering Tuesday at 9 p.m. ET on TLC). Much to her disappointment, the test came back negative. However, a few short weeks later, the happy news was confirmed.


Like Josh’s parents, Jim Bob, 47, and Michelle, 46, who named all their kids using the letter “J,” Josh and Anna may be planning to do the same with the letter, “M.” For now, they’re keeping details like the name and the gender of the child private.

Uh-huh. Private for now, but before too long they will have her up in the stirrups and selling peeks for $5 a shot.


Meanwhile, in North Carolina

…the Xristian Xrazies are legislating women’s nipples, having already explored the limits that they can go on woo-wahs:

The state House Judiciary Committee C approved House Bill 34, which makes it a Class H felony to purposefully expose “private parts” for the “purpose of arousing or gratifying sexual desire.”

The bill expands the state’s definition of “private parts” to include a woman’s “nipple, or any portion of the areola.”

OK, I’ll bite: what’s the big deal here?

Republican state Rep. Rayne Brown told lawmakers that she was co-sponsoring the bill because activists had held a topless women’s rights rally in Asheville last summer, where as many as a dozen women bared their breasts

And I have it on good authority that on any given day in Asheville a dozen men are baring their breasts. So what are you going to do about it?

Democratic state Rep. Annie Mobley said she worried that women wearing “questionable fashions” could be prosecuted under the new rules.

But Committee Chairwoman Rep. Sarah Steven (R) suggested that women could use pasties or nipple coverings just to be safe.

“They’d be good to go” with nipple coverings, Stevens said.

“You know what they say, duct tape fixes everything,” Republican state Rep. Tim Moore agreed.

OK, so we found the Bro’s of North Carolina. Boys, I suggest you put some duct tape over your little Bro’s and then rip that sucker off. Better yet, ask your wives and/or girlfriends to rip off the duct tape.

You know, duct tape does fix everything…

(Crooks and Liars)

When you have to defend your marketing…

…you’ve already lost:

It’s about customer choice and not politics, [Federated, owner of Macy*s] CEO Terry Lundgren tells petition organizer. “Trump’s brand has become toxic and contemptible, it represents mean spirited bullying and chicanery,” Angelo Carusone replied.

The petition, which urges Macy*s to dump Trump as a spokesperson for the ubiquitous store, already has 570,000 signatures.

I would say that it is a colossal marketing fail already. Anyway, you can read the back and forth between the CEO and the activist Angelo Carusone who is largely credited with being the driving force who got Glenn Beck off TeeVee and delivered a body blow to Junkie Limbaugh by successfully getting their advertisers to drop them over their inflammatory and racist comments.


Really, Trump, is that all there is?

[Short-fingered vulgarian Donald Trump] said that if Pres. Obama releases his college records and his passport records, then Trump will give a $5 million check to a charity of President Obama’s choice.

And that is all there is.