News That Will Drive You To Drink

Free-range Conspiracy Theorist Glenn Beck

Free-range Conspiracy Theorist Glenn Beck

Free-range conspiracy theorist Glenn Beck takes on the issue of the day: HRClinton’s Twitter followers:

“She can’t even be honest about the fans on her social media sites. A study was done of her Facebook page. Again, we had to go across the ocean. We had to go to I think it was The Guardian in England to get anybody in the media to do a job. They found something odd about her followers. Seven percent of her followers were from Baghdad. That’s not really comforting or real. And on Twitter, it was revealed that 15%, about 544,000 of her Twitter followers, are bogus accounts.

If her team is willing to lie about Facebook and Twitter fans and make people up just out of whole cloth, what else are they willing to lie about?

Interesting premise, but let’s do a little investigation of our own. First off all, it wasn’t the (usually excellent) Guardian, it was the (always wretched) The Daily Fail, er, Mail that worked out that HRC has some bogus followers.

Let’s dive into the Fail:

StatusPeople.com, the oldest publicly available Twitter-auditing tool, reports that 44 per cent of the former secretary of state’s followers are ‘good'; 15 per cent are ‘fake'; and 41 per cent are ‘inactive,’ meaning that they never tweet or reply to any tweets.

…Another tool, TwitterAudit.com, sampled 320,000 of Mrs. Clinton’s followers and found that 18 per cent were fake.

Chilling, no? But just for shits and giggles, let’s see what happens when we run Glenn Beck through the same analytic services!

Glenn Beck Faker Status April 16, 2015

Glenn Beck Faker Status April 16, 2015

Twitter Audit Glenn Beck

Jeebus, Beck, you are slipping. That was too E-Z.

UPDATED: just checked my own scores, and I’m pleased as punch to report…
Screen Shot 2015-04-16 at 8.06.23 PM

and

Screen Shot 2015-04-16 at 8.07.39 PM

I beat Beck like a rented mule’s red-headed stepson.

Because We Love A Good Correction

jeb-moose-ears

Look at that! NotChimpy is white after all, at least according to one of the little brown ones*:

And that’s all the proof you need that The Smart Bush® has outsourced his Twatter to a staffer: No member of the Bush Crime Family has a sense of humor about their family.

* When Poppy Bush was running for preznint, he famously introduced St. Ronnie to Jeb’s kids as “the little brown ones.”

D’Vorce D’Spousa’s Totally Dog Whistle Tweet

Documentarian fabulist, convicted felon, fired Y’all Qaeda business school dean, and would-be bigamist D’VORCE D’SPOUSA has done gone slipped into Ann Coulter racist territory. And while I seriously believe it is only a matter of time before Coulter starts selling speculum peeks for $5, it is really hard to imagine how much lower this man will go for attention.

The Morning Tweet

It’s really all said in the response to documentarian fabulist, convicted felon, fired Y’all Qaeda business school dean, and would-be bigamist D’VORCE D’SPOUSA.

Want Fries With Your Stupid?

He seems nice.

Oh, I just read that he is an editor at Red State, which is our old pal Ewick son of Ewick’s place.

New to The Electronic Twatter Machine…

…is always wrong Bloody Bill Kristol:

GOT-REAL-LLAMA-1314387922

In Case You Missed It

Weepy-McDrunky

Yesterday, Weepy McDrunky Tweeted Y’all Qaeda’s jobs plans:

And Twitter went nuts.

Rev. Fishsticks Speaks!