The Right to Life Ends at Birth

Just whip 'em out an measure 'em, boys.

Just whip ’em out an measure ’em, boys.

We’ve snarked before that death by gunfire is now so common in the United States that autopsies should start listing it as a natural cause. The news will focus on the shooting event while it is underway and then return to mundane items a day later. We’ve become numb to the carnage around us.

But as Bennie-the-Blade Carson said that he would rather see a body full of bullet holes than lose the right to own a gun because: freedom. So we got that working for us.

It doesn’t take much to connect-the-dots between the rhetoric of the doctored video claiming Planned Parenthood sells Baby Parts-by-the-Pound to having an armed gunman inside a clinic; the only surprise is that it took this long. The day before the attack, Marco Rubio said that if you don’t like a Supreme Court Ruling, just ignore it.

These things are all related. Coincidences are rare things.

As the President said:

The last thing Americans should have to do, over the holidays or any day, is comfort the families of people killed by gun violence — people who woke up in the morning and bid their loved ones goodbye with no idea it would be for the last time. And yet, two days after Thanksgiving, that’s what we are forced to do again.
We don’t yet know what this particular gunman’s so-called motive was for shooting twelve people, or for terrorizing an entire community, when he opened fire with an assault weapon and took hostages at a Planned Parenthood center in Colorado. What we do know is that he killed a cop in the line of duty, along with two of the citizens that police officer was trying to protect. We know that law enforcement saved lives, as so many of them do every day, all across America. And we know that more Americans and their families had fear forced upon them.
This is not normal. We can’t let it become normal. If we truly care about this — if we’re going to offer up our thoughts and prayers again, for God knows how many times, with a truly clean conscience — then we have to do something about the easy accessibility of weapons of war on our streets to people who have no business wielding them. Period. Enough is enough.
May God bless Officer Garrett Swasey and the Americans he tried to save — and may He grant the rest of us the courage to do the same thing.

Ted Cruz: ‘Say a Little Prayer For Me’

The stupid... it burns

The stupid… it burns

It’s all about Him (Ted, not Jeebus):

To capitalize, and build his list of supporters and donors, Cruz said Thursday that he is forming a “national prayer team.” Those who sign up will receive weekly emails that include prayer requests from Cruz and his wife as well as from the campaign team and other volunteers. Members will also be invited each Tuesday to pray together on 20-minute conference calls.

“We experience the power of prayer every day,” Cruz said in a statement, using religious language that resonates with evangelicals. “We’re organizing ‘A Time for Prayer’ to establish a direct line of communication between our campaign and the thousands of Americans who are lifting us up before the Lord.”

The Messiah Complex is strong in this one.

And now the song, Aretha sings my favorite rendition of the classic, but I don’t think she’s singing it for Ted Cruz:

He Seems Nice, Part Infinity

Jeebus weeps

Jeebus weeps

Our crush on Theodore Shoebat continues as he shows us the milk of Gawd’s Mercy:

Don’t Pray For France, France Is A Godless Nation That Deserved To Be Attacked. France Supports Terrorists And Kills Christians, And Needs To Be Punished

Instead of pulling out bits and pieces to mock, I’ll just give you the last two paragraphs so you will get the gist of it:

The people who were killed in the rock concert, what were their last words? They were singing a song, “Kiss the devil”. They died, not as martyrs for Christ, but as worshippers of the devil. They were worshipping Satan, and we are suppose to feel sorry for them? They kissed the devil, and the devil came to them and slaughtered them. I say, to hell with them. The Lord works in mysterious ways.

The attacks in Paris is part of God’s Providence. Suffering is needed, in order to bring people to the One Who suffered for them.

Shorter Shoebat: they had it coming, they deserved to die, they’re in hell, betcha they wished that they had been more like me.

Says The Man Who…

…was a featured speaker at a kill-the-gays Xristian rally:

Ted Cruz with Dr. Chaps, Demon Hunter.

Ted Cruz with Dr. Chaps, Demon Hunter.

“If my father [Raphael Cruz] were part of a theocratic and political movement like radical Islamism, that promotes murdering anyone who doesn’t share your extreme faith, or forcibly converting them, then it would make perfect sense.”

He’s racing with Rand Paul to see who will hate the most refugees fleeing terrorists in Syria: yup, he’s introducing legislation to ban refugees also.

Tell That To Dr. Tiller, Ted

The stupid... it burns

The stupid… it burns


“There is no meaningful risk of Christians committing acts of terror,” Cruz told reporters, according to the Washington Post. “If there were a group of radical Christians pledging to murder anyone who had a different religious view than they, we would have a different national security situation.”

Eiron, the Goddess of Irony, laughed so hard she farted

Jeebus weeps

Jeebus weeps

Says Alabama Gov. Robert Bentley:

“After full consideration of this weekend’s attacks of terror on innocent citizens in Paris, I will oppose any attempt to relocate Syrian refugees to Alabama through the U.S. Refugee Admissions Program. …Please continue to join me in praying for those who have suffered loss and for those who will never allow freedom to fade at the hands of terrorists.”

Jeebus weeps.

Theocrats Are Building a Stairway To Heaven


I’ve been thinking a lot about what our old pal One-L has been peddling since her forced retirement from grifting the people of Minnesota:

“Almost every article in the paper” has to do with conflicts in Israel, Bachmann said, “and it ties with so much biblical prophecy. This week really was about biblical prophecy in many ways. And we’re seeing as events are speeding up, events are speeding up so quickly right now, and we see how relevant the Bible is, and we’re reading our newspaper, at the same time we’re learning about these biblical events, and it’s literally day by day by day, we’re seeing the fulfillment of scripture right in front of our eyes, even while we’re on the ground.”

“We recognize the shortness of the hour,” she said, “and that’s why we as a remnant want to be faithful in these days and do what it is that the Holy Spirit is speaking to each one of us, to be faithful in the Kingdom and to help bring in as many as we can — even among the Jews — share Jesus Christ with everyone that we possibly can because, again, He’s coming soon.”

…because her End of Days joy is exactly the flip side of the ISIS theology. The goal of both is the end of the world. The Debbil is in the details.

I personally find it disconcerting when theocrats of every stripe are aligning as if they are hearing the same thing from a host of demented angels. The comedic novelist Christopher Moore postulates (in The Stupidest Angel, which if you have not read you must for The Holidays) that angels are attracted to crazy people. Something about the energy crazy people emit and because when crazy people talk about seeing/talking to angels, well, no one believes them because they are crazy. But I digress.

ISIS is as much of a doomsday cult as evangelical Christianity is. I did not understand the importance of the Last Caliphate when I would read about ISIS, and finally looked it up. Did you know that there is an Islamic equivalent to the Book of Revelations, a step-by-step guide as it were to how to bring about The Big Bang, just like Revelations? Bachmann and her ilk are reading from one instruction set, and ISIS from the other.

Anyway, the Islamic version has The Last Caliphate, and it is a territory large enough to be its own country and thus inspiring the final showdown with the rest of the world. That ISIS now is now achieving that goal is inspiring their young, disillusioned warriors to join them.

This Last Caliphate is as significant in their prophecies as if Bachmann and her nutty evangelical crew somehow conquered Jerusalem following the step-by-step in Revelations (and converted the jews). Evangelicals would flock to them to finish the job.

As I’ve noted before, I’m not a theologian. But purely as an overly simplified, Buffy-the-Vampire Slayer tactic, it seems that if you want to stop the theocrats, first you stop the prophecies. Take away the proof to the true believers that they are the chosen ones in the chosen time, and the theocrats become just another crazy person shouting on a street corner. The Muslim world needs to lead on this, otherwise it is just more Western aggression. And they would understand the culture better than we ever will.

I hope that someone in our vast intelligence operation is looking in that direction.

News That Will Drive You To Drink

Happy Hour News Briefs

Gordon Klingenschmitt Demon Hunter/CO Assemblyman (Republican) tells us that Muslims should rejoice “because now they have a right to hear the gospel of Jesus Christ which can save their souls from Hell.”

Dr. Chaps is nothing, if not full of love.

He Seems Nice, Part Infinity, Again

Our favorite theocrat crush Theodore Shoebat continues his quest to convince us to kill all the LGBTQ people and their supporters.

Today, he tells us that the ‘mos are actually cannibal wannabes and given the chance they would eat you up with a spoon.

Presumably, young Shoebat already “dined” before recording this, if you know what I mean and I think you do.

He Seems Nice, Part Infinity

Jeebus weeps

Jeebus weeps

Our new favorite theocrat Theodore Shoebat tells us that diabetes hate-burger vender Chick-Fil-A should be burned at the stake, and not for shitty food either:

Man, this guy really needs to get laid… and then he should blow off some steam and sing some Garland at the piano bar at the SF Eagle.

Dude doth protest too much.