Bad Ads, Early Edition

Sweet Jeebus, what’s wrong with this man?! Given the death-cult gun worship in this country, I cannot imagine that the ammosexuals would take kindly to him trivializing their fetish-objects. The NRA should come after him too for being so glib about their object of affection.

Honestly I think this is offensive and insulting to all of his purported base.

The Pride Of Texas

Paxton: As honest as he looks.

The American Stateman reports:

“Facing three felony counts of securities law violations, Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton was arrested, fingerprinted and photographed Monday morning for alleged violations that took place when he was a state legislator.”

“Attorney General Ken Paxton will plead not guilty to these accusations, and he will demand a trial by jury,” Paxton lawyer Joe Kendall said afterward. “He is looking forward to the opportunity to tell his side of the story in the courtroom.”

We, too, are looking forward to the opportunity to listen to his story. Oh, boy, are we!

Mess With Texas

The Eyes of Texas Are Upon You, Paxton!

The Eyes of Texas Are Upon You, Paxton!

Well, Texas must be so proud. First a sitting governor (Hi Rick!) is indicted on federal corruption charges and now the Texas Attorney General is indicted too:

McKINNEY — A grand jury has indicted Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton on multiple felony charges, according to several sources who are familiar with the complaints.

The charges will be unsealed in McKinney on Monday about noon, and a Tarrant County judge has already been appointed to preside over the case, sources told News 8.

After the indictments are unsealed, Paxton can surrender to be photographed, fingerprinted and booked at any of the state’s 254 county jails.

It’s unclear exactly what Paxton will be indicted for, although a grand jury here has heard evidence that Paxton, 52, violated securities laws.

Texas: the US Laboratory for Bad Policy and Poor Choices continues their stellar tradition of electing scoundrals and grifters, all holding a flag and a Bible.

Your Saturday Bottomless Mug of Stupid, Texas-Style

texas-logo big.jpgEarlier in the week I posited that several other states were vying to take away Texas’ singular status as the National Lab For Bad Public Policy, but lo! no more:

Open carry will soon be the law in Texas
AUSTIN – Texas will soon be an open carry state.

“The state House and Senate on Friday gave final approval to the legislation, which starting on Jan. 1 will allow those with a concealed carry license to openly tote their handguns in a shoulder or hip holster.

“In a tweet immediately after the bill’s passage, Gov. Greg Abbott promised to sign it into law as soon as possible: “Next destination. My pen.”

“The House gave final approval to the bill by a vote of 102-43; in the Senate it passed 20-11 along party lines.

“…Under the new law, those with non-Texas concealed handgun licenses recognized by the state will also be allowed to open carry. Texas recognizes the licenses and permits from 41 other states. In Texas, licensees must be at least 21 and must pass a background check and written and range test.

“Texas law already allows the open carrying of long arms like rifles without any licensing requirements.”

I’m sure Texas will be sad to learn that I won’t visit it again for pleasure or bidness.

Allen West Connected the Dots, Sheeple!

The Tinfoil Follies of 2015

texas-logo big.jpgObama turns the screws on local police with sweeping equipment ban

“With the upcoming “Jade Helm” military exercises planned throughout the southwest this July in civilian areas, some folks are concerned the federal government has grander plans than simply a practice session.

“…Now Fox reports “In a surprise announcement coming nine months after police in riot gear dispelled racially-charged protests, President Barack Obama is banning the federal government from providing some military-style equipment to local departments and putting stricter controls on other weapons and gear distributed to law enforcement.””

West needs to get Screwie Louie on this, STAT!

I Guess We Can Pull Their Guns Out Of Their Cold, Dead Hands, Cont.

Remember The Ammo

texas-logo big.jpgSunday Biker Gang Shooting Leaves Nine Dead, 16 Injured

“… the fight quickly escalated from fists and feet to chains, clubs and knives, then to gunfire.

“Gang members were shooting at each other and officers at the scene fired their weapons, as well, Swanton said.

“Other patrons in Twin Peaks and some employees locked themselves in a freezer to escape the fight.”

The article says that no officers and no civilians were injured (and who then were the bikers, hmmm?), so I suppose that is good news.

Texas. Jeebus.

One Lump of Stupid or Two

The Sanctity of Marriage

texas-logo big.jpg
Texas State Senator Charles Perry, a Gawd-fearin’ Xristian, who is seeking to defeat the ‘mos who want to get married, finds himself in a bit of bind:

“An apparent stripper in Oklahoma has filed for a protective order against a Texas Republican state senator who likened what he called America’s “spiritual battle” to the Holocaust.

“The clerk in Creek County, Oklahoma, confirmed Tuesday that a request for an order had been issued against Sen. Charles Perry of Lubbock, Texas.

“The clerk said the document couldn’t be released since it hadn’t yet been served.”

Well at least his stripper was not a male.

Texas’ “We Don’t Serve Your Kind” Law Advances

texas-logo big.jpgWhile Texas is bravely fighting the scourge of Jade Helm 15, abandoned Walmart detention centers complete with tunnels and Maoist Prison Guards, ISIS-Drug Cartels Alliances and whatnot, the Texas Lege must be up to its Gohmert-sized ears protecting the Lone Start State Citizens from… well, what?

Senate Backs Allowing Pastors to Refuse to Marry Same-Sex Couples

So even though same-sex marriage is banned in Texas, the Lege wants to protect Y’all Qaeda from getting sued for not marryin’ the ‘mos? Is this like double-secret probation at Faber College?

“The so-called Pastor Protection Act — a bill that clarifies clergy members’ right to refuse to marry same-sex couples — tentatively passed the Texas Senate on Monday.

“…A challenge to the state’s ban against same-sex marriage is pending in the U.S. 5th Circuit Court of Appeals. The U.S. Supreme Court is expected to rule on four same-sex marriage cases in other states in June. Some expect the Supreme Court could rule in favor of striking down same-sex marriage bans nationwide.”

“The bill’s author, state Sen. Craig Estes, R-Wichita Falls, suggested on the floor Monday that his measure would be needed if that became the case.”

But no one is forcing churches to perform weddings. What else is in there?

“The legislation also stipulates that clergy, religious organizations and people employed by a religious group could not be sued for damages, prosecuted for criminal violations, lose tax-exempt status or forfeit a government contract or grant for refusing to provide services, open facilities or sell goods related to same-sex marriages.

“I think the language is awfully broad,” said Sen. Kirk Watson, D-Austin, adding that a clause protecting groups supervised and controlled by a religious organization would seem to allow for-profit health care, nursing home and other companies to refuse to serve same-sex couples.

But he said it wasn’t about discrimination, you know, like all those other RFRA bills. Say, what else is Texas doing to protect the existential threats Texans face?

“…Also Tuesday, the House is set to begin debate on separate bill to all but ban gay marriage in Texas no matter how the U.S. Supreme Court rules this summer.

“House Bill 4105, which has 78 Republican co-authors — more than half of the 150 representatives — would prohibit any government employee in Texas from issuing a same-sex marriage license and bar state or local tax money from being spent to “enforce or recognize” same-sex marriages, even those legally performed in another state.”

Totally legal. Texas remains in undisputed first place as the US Lab for Bad Policy.

Your Daily Gohmert

gohmertI don’t know how I missed this the other day (yes I do: I was traveling), but our buddy Screwie Louie has weighed in on the Conspiracy Theory du Jour, Jade Helm 15 in which the drooling fucknuckles in Texas believe that the US Government is going to attack Texas and put POWs in shuttered WalMart stores before inviting in the Chinese to something-something-something, and tunnels! Anyway, Rep. Gohmert has released the following statement to clear things up:

Over the past few weeks, my office has been inundated with calls referring to the Jade Helm 15 military exercise scheduled to take place between July 15 and September 15, 2015. This military practice has some concerned that the U.S. Army is preparing for modern-day martial law.

Certainly, I can understand these concerns. When leaders within the current administration believe that major threats to the country include those who support the Constitution, are military veterans, or even ‘cling to guns or religion,’ patriotic Americans have reason to be concerned. We have seen people working in this administration use their government positions to persecute people with conservative beliefs in God, country, and notions such as honor and self-reliance. Because of the contempt and antipathy for the true patriots or even Christian saints persecuted for their Christian beliefs, it is no surprise that those who have experienced or noticed such persecution are legitimately suspicious.

Having served in the U.S. Army, I can understand why military officials have a goal to see if groups of Special Forces can move around a civilian population without being noticed and can handle various threat scenarios. In military science classes or in my years on active duty, I have participated in or observed military exercises; however, we never named an existing city or state as a “hostile.” We would use fictitious names before we would do such a thing.

Once I observed the map depicting ‘hostile,’ ‘permissive,’ and ‘uncertain’ states and locations, I was rather appalled that the hostile areas amazingly have a Republican majority, ‘cling to their guns and religion,’ and believe in the sanctity of the United States Constitution. When the federal government begins, even in practice, games or exercises, to consider any U.S. city or state in ‘hostile’ control and trying to retake it, the message becomes extremely calloused and suspicious.

Such labeling tends to make people who have grown leery of federal government overreach become suspicious of whether their big brother government anticipates certain states may start another civil war or be overtaken by foreign radical Islamist elements which have been reported to be just across our border. Such labeling by a government that is normally not allowed to use military force against its own citizens is an affront to the residents of that particular state considered as ‘hostile,’ as if the government is trying to provoke a fight with them. The map of the exercise needs to change, the names on the map need to change, and the tone of the exercise needs to be completely revamped so the federal government is not intentionally practicing war against its own states.

Texas History

The U.S. Lab for Bad Policy

The U.S. Lab for Bad Policy

Texas Monthly Explains the Jade Helm conspiracy theory and puts it in historical context. Also, too, I laughed until I cried:

“…The State of Texas is surrounded by federal troops, but the black helicopter crowd is worried the takeover is starting disguised as the military training exercise Jade Helm 15 at the Walmart in Bastrop?

Bastrop has been under siege by federal forces before; of course. They were Mexican federals and the year was 1836. Remember the Alamo! Remember Goliad! Remember Bastrop? Nope.”

Go read it.

(Hat tip Scissorhead Karen Zipdrive)