Just Leave Already

The U.S. Lab for Bad Policy

The U.S. Lab for Bad Policy

Texas GOP official wants secession on the primary ballot

I love Texas and I love Texans, we are better for having them as part of the country (I mean where else could we find a Screwie Louie Gohmert?), but seriously if they want to secede they should just go.

I’ll direct them to the Post Office for the change of address cards and send on an entire box of pencils.

Building A Better Vocabulary

The U.S. Lab for Bad Policy

The U.S. Lab for Bad Policy

In Norwegian, “texas” (small tee) is used to mean “a crazy situation.”

Norwegians Are Literally Using ‘Texas’ As Slang for ‘Crazy’ Now

Texas is many things to many people—a state the size of a medium-sized country; home to several idiot governors, one who became president, and a current one who thinks it’s a good idea for college students to openly carry firearms. To Donald Trump, Texas is the place where a “big, beautiful wall” should be built. To people in Norway, “texas” with a small “t” is a synonym for crazy, bonkers, out of control and wild. As in, that’s totally texas. Or in Norwegian: det var helt texas

Not Jade Helm 15, But Still Texas

By now, everyone’s already heard about Ahmed Mohamad, the over-achieving science-loving kid in Texas who was arrested after trying to impress his teachers by showing them one of his home-made inventions, a clock. A clock that they thought was a bomb.

Have we gotten so panicked and so inured to racial profiling that a smart kid in a NASA shirt could be arrested for nothing more than being a Muslim in Texas?

Saying that they mistook the clock for a bomb is just weasel-words for saying they mistook the kid for a bomb-thrower.

We note that Ahmed has also been suspended from his Texas school.

“Sweet Jeebus,” the math teacher did not say, “the kid was sayin’ somethin’ about lovin’ Al-Gebra!”

Today in Secession News…

The U.S. Lab for Bad Policy

The U.S. Lab for Bad Policy

Nationalist Group Wants TX Secession on Primary Ballot

Essentially, a Texas National group is agitating to put secession on the GOP ballots during their upcoming primary election. I guess you go where the votes are?

Anyway, they need something like 75,000 signatures to get it on the ballot. As we’ve stated before, we love Texas, and we love Texans, and the United States would be worse off without the lone star state. I mean, where would we find another Louie Gohmert? Where would the next Jade Helm 15-style panic come from?

Bad Ads, Early Edition

Sweet Jeebus, what’s wrong with this man?! Given the death-cult gun worship in this country, I cannot imagine that the ammosexuals would take kindly to him trivializing their fetish-objects. The NRA should come after him too for being so glib about their object of affection.

Honestly I think this is offensive and insulting to all of his purported base.

The Pride Of Texas

Paxton: As honest as he looks.

The American Stateman reports:

“Facing three felony counts of securities law violations, Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton was arrested, fingerprinted and photographed Monday morning for alleged violations that took place when he was a state legislator.”

“Attorney General Ken Paxton will plead not guilty to these accusations, and he will demand a trial by jury,” Paxton lawyer Joe Kendall said afterward. “He is looking forward to the opportunity to tell his side of the story in the courtroom.”

We, too, are looking forward to the opportunity to listen to his story. Oh, boy, are we!

Mess With Texas

The Eyes of Texas Are Upon You, Paxton!

The Eyes of Texas Are Upon You, Paxton!

Well, Texas must be so proud. First a sitting governor (Hi Rick!) is indicted on federal corruption charges and now the Texas Attorney General is indicted too:

McKINNEY — A grand jury has indicted Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton on multiple felony charges, according to several sources who are familiar with the complaints.

The charges will be unsealed in McKinney on Monday about noon, and a Tarrant County judge has already been appointed to preside over the case, sources told News 8.

After the indictments are unsealed, Paxton can surrender to be photographed, fingerprinted and booked at any of the state’s 254 county jails.

It’s unclear exactly what Paxton will be indicted for, although a grand jury here has heard evidence that Paxton, 52, violated securities laws.

Texas: the US Laboratory for Bad Policy and Poor Choices continues their stellar tradition of electing scoundrals and grifters, all holding a flag and a Bible.

Your Saturday Bottomless Mug of Stupid, Texas-Style

texas-logo big.jpgEarlier in the week I posited that several other states were vying to take away Texas’ singular status as the National Lab For Bad Public Policy, but lo! no more:

Open carry will soon be the law in Texas
AUSTIN – Texas will soon be an open carry state.

“The state House and Senate on Friday gave final approval to the legislation, which starting on Jan. 1 will allow those with a concealed carry license to openly tote their handguns in a shoulder or hip holster.

“In a tweet immediately after the bill’s passage, Gov. Greg Abbott promised to sign it into law as soon as possible: “Next destination. My pen.”

“The House gave final approval to the bill by a vote of 102-43; in the Senate it passed 20-11 along party lines.

“…Under the new law, those with non-Texas concealed handgun licenses recognized by the state will also be allowed to open carry. Texas recognizes the licenses and permits from 41 other states. In Texas, licensees must be at least 21 and must pass a background check and written and range test.

“Texas law already allows the open carrying of long arms like rifles without any licensing requirements.”

I’m sure Texas will be sad to learn that I won’t visit it again for pleasure or bidness.

Allen West Connected the Dots, Sheeple!

The Tinfoil Follies of 2015

texas-logo big.jpgObama turns the screws on local police with sweeping equipment ban

“With the upcoming “Jade Helm” military exercises planned throughout the southwest this July in civilian areas, some folks are concerned the federal government has grander plans than simply a practice session.

“…Now Fox reports “In a surprise announcement coming nine months after police in riot gear dispelled racially-charged protests, President Barack Obama is banning the federal government from providing some military-style equipment to local departments and putting stricter controls on other weapons and gear distributed to law enforcement.””

West needs to get Screwie Louie on this, STAT!

I Guess We Can Pull Their Guns Out Of Their Cold, Dead Hands, Cont.

Remember The Ammo

texas-logo big.jpgSunday Biker Gang Shooting Leaves Nine Dead, 16 Injured

“… the fight quickly escalated from fists and feet to chains, clubs and knives, then to gunfire.

“Gang members were shooting at each other and officers at the scene fired their weapons, as well, Swanton said.

“Other patrons in Twin Peaks and some employees locked themselves in a freezer to escape the fight.”

The article says that no officers and no civilians were injured (and who then were the bikers, hmmm?), so I suppose that is good news.

Texas. Jeebus.