Beware The Ides of, um, November?

Weepy McDrunky

Even without Iago Eric Cantor plotting a coup against John Boehner, revolution is still fomenting!

“In tough times, it doesn’t mean you play timid, it means to play bold, and I don’t see that. And you know what? Time’s up,” Rep. Paul Gosar (R-Ariz.), who vowed to vote against Boehner, told The Hill in an interview. “I’m tired of the status quo of what’s going on in Washington, D.C. America’s tired, America’s angry and they’re scared, because they don’t have leaders in Washington, D.C.”

That’s quite a list of grievances you got there, Sparky.

Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-Texas) was more succinct: “I’ll give him every bit as much support as I did last time.”

Gohmert in 2013 was one of a dozen Republicans who didn’t support Boehner for Speaker. Ten of them will return to the next Congress and have a vote on Boehner’s future.

Oh, NOES! He’s lost Screwie Louie?!!1!

The article goes on to describe, well, sleeper cells in the Wingnuttian caucus. For safety sake, they don’t know about each other or how many there are.

In fact, [Rep. Walter Jones (R-N.C.)] acknowledged he didn’t even know who the members of the other groups were, though he said that was by design to avoid being targeted by the Speaker and his allies. At some point, however, these Boehner foes will have to step forward and “show they will stick together on a vote,” Jones said. Then, one of them can be offered up as a candidate… “You’ve got to have 20 to 25 committed people that are willing to cut their wrist,” Jones explained, “and if you’re not willing to cut your wrist, you’re not really committed.”

“And then we will play Legos and have graham crackers and a nap,” he did not conclude.

Word Salad, Tossed Fresh Daily

A dead-eyed dick

A dead-eyed dick

Alaska’s part-time governor and full-time grifter Sarah Palin must have spent some time at Annapolis as one of her five of so colleges from which she did not earn her degree, and she takes to the awesome power of her MyFacePlace page to offer her sound, professional, and winning advice to Commander-in-Chief (and Kenyan Usurper) Barack HUSSEIN O’Bummer on how to defeat ISIS (emphasis mine):

War is hell. So go big or go home, Mr. President. Big means bold, confident, wise assurance from a trustworthy Commander-in-Chief that it shall all be worth it. Charge in, strike hard, get out. Win.

Being Mooselini, she whines her usual grievances and then having lost track of her thesis (“Charge in, strike hard, get out”), contradicts herself (emphasis mine):

The rise of the animalistic terror group, ISIS, is the result of Obama’s lead-from-behind foreign policy. He had broadcast his war strategy for all the enemy to see in Iraq, so the enemy could wait us out and strike as soon as America turned tail and turned away from all we’d sacrificed there. Terrorists who we had under control got to regroup and grow after Obama’s premature pull out.

War is hell, Generalissimo Mooselini. But your writing seems to be hellish.

Maybe He’ll Run A Third Time?

Alaskastan’s not favorite son, Joe Miller has lost his bid to become their OTHER senator to former Alaska Attorney General Dan Sullivan.

The Tea Party’s Miller lost to Sullivan 32% to 40%, and will not be facing incumbent U.S. Sen. Mark Begich in the fall. Miller, a long-time protégé of Sarah Palin previously lost to a write-in campaign for incumbent U.S. Sen. Lisa Murkowski.

Condolences to Alaska’s part-time governor and full-tim grifter Mooselini in small bills. A grifter still’s gotta grift.

Sounds Like a Plan

Mooselini salutes her fans.

Mooselini salutes her fans.

“We don’t want the GOP to pursue a ‘socialism-lite’ agenda. We want them to go on the warpath and do whatever it takes to stop the destruction of our constitutional Republic. It has become increasingly clear that the GOP leadership will do everything in its power to prevent the party from being influenced in any way by the Tea Party. I have given up on the GOP and am simply not sure it can ever be reformed.”

“We would also need a stable of respected national conservative leaders such as Sarah Palin and others to lead the charge on such an effort…

Steve Baldwin, a conservative activist and former California State assemblyman, writing in BarbWire.

Yes, Steve. Please do this. Please.

Impeachment Whiplash! For It, Against It, For It…

Wow, friend of immigrants everywhere, ol’ Cantaloupe Calves hisself, Rep. Steve King sets a new land-speed record for changing positions on unpeaching The Kenyan Usurper!

The Morning Quote – Your Monster is Loose Edition

Weepy McDrunky

Said Boehner:

“Listen, this whole talk about impeachment is coming from the president’s own staff, and coming from Democrats on Capitol Hill. Why? Because they’re trying to rally their people to give money and to show up in this year’s election.”

“We have no plans to impeach the president. We have no future plans. Listen, it’s all a scam started by Democrats at the White House.”

That’s right, the Impeachment of the Kenyan Usurper is a leftist plot. Which is why we keep hearing about it from the Teabaggers, GOP representatives in Congress (just look at Bachmann and her ilk), and various Wingnuttian media outlets and fever swamps.

I’ll Get The Change Of Address Cards

The Klan Goes To Church

The Klan Goes To Church

Breaking news: 63% of Mississippi isn’t totally racist!

A new Public Policy Polling survey found that 37 percent of Republicans who voted in the Mississippi primary runoff election between incumbent Sen. Thad Cochran (R-MS) and state Sen. Chris McDaniel (R) said they would back the Confederate side if there was another Civil War.

So more than one third of Mississippians would betray the country? They’re so patriotic.

When Farce Turns To Tragedy

teabagging for jeebus“Politics beyone the pale”

ATLANTA — Mark Mayfield, a respected lawyer and tea party operative in Mississippi, has died after being accused of taking part in an unseemly, Watergate-like conspiracy to undermine long-time Sen. Thad Cochran’s campaign.

No foul play is suspected around the self-inflicted gunshot wound, local police said. Mr. Mayfield left a note behind, but authorities have not released it.

One does not become a leader of the Tea Party without being a Drama Queen; they specialize in bombastic rhetoric designed to inflame, the slightest deviation from their rock-ribbed orthodoxy is cause for hysteria, renunciation, and ultimately apostasy; burn the witch time. That a hysterical Teabagger from Dixie should decide to kill himself seems, well, predictable.

These are not sturdy, sober members of our society.

Breaking into a nursing home to document that your political target’s wife is a long-term patient to use against him is a terrible thing to do. And so is killing yourself. You should have stayed alive to face the consequences. I’m not making light that someone is dead, but I also refuse to feel bad that he decided it was his best option. My condolances to his family who do not deserve this.

That said, killing yourself is NOT an indictment on anyone else, including your political opponent. This is not politics beyond the pale, this is narcissism run amok.

Breaking and entering to take a picture of someone against their will is not a capital crime, and now that you’ve made yourself the victim by killing yourself doesn’t make the charges against you unfair. Congratulations, Drama Queen: you rat-f***ed yourself.

please, Please, PLEASE

teabagging for jeebus

The Mississippi Teabaggers are urging failed senatorial candidate Chris McDaniel noted bad logistician and famous friend of Neo-Confederate Secessionists everywhere, to run as a write-in candidate. I want to watch him lose a second time, so this is a great idea.

Also/Too: the Teabaggers are threatening to splinter off from the rest of the GOP, which would be a dream come true.

Remember: there is no Tea Party, it is just the Republicans as Fox rebranded them, to run away from the Reign of Error that was Chimpy McStagger.

(Raw Story)