Your Daily Gohmert

Today In Irresponsibility…

gohmert

“As far as I know, I’m okay. But do any of us really know for sure?”

Screwie Louie telling us that he doesn’t have the ebowlar disease… he thinks. I guess because he comes from Texas?

Some Stupid For Your Afternoon Tea?

kill-myself-neil-patrick-harris-How-I-Met-Your-Mother

“There was never a cow going around slobbering on another cow, sending a signal that I’m in love with this cow,” he said. “And when the bull got in the pasture, we didn’t have to give them a course in bullology or cowology. They had an inborn nature, they knew exactly and precisely what they needed to do to make sure that the Baity family had cows 20 years from now.”

–Berean Baptist Church Pastor Pastor Ron Baity, comparing LGBT people to cows.

WTF?

Oh, that will win over women and the youth, who are nothing but marriage-hungry harridans.

Notice that the one thing never shown in this ad is… Florida’s own bat boy, Rick Scott. Methinks these retrograde women would flee from the showroom, screaming.

So Reince, once again I ask: How goes the rebranding?

Stupidularity, Otherwise known as the “Scheisskopf Radius” Has Occurred

Flying Elephant

The Blog’s old pals, One-L, Screwie Louie, and Cruz Missile participated in David Barton’s WallBuilder’s Pastoral Briefing in Sodom and Gomorrah East, Washington DC.

There’s not a chance that we can survive this much stupid in one place.

Sally Quinn Writes About Herself, Again

Shallow, mirror-gazing home wrecker Sally Quinn writes the most shallow, mirror-gazing memory of Lauren Bacall:

It was the night on the dunes in Amagansett that nearly did me in. George Plimpton was having his annual fireworks party and Ben Bradlee and I had heard Lauren Bacall was going to be there. We had never met her, but Ben had had a hopeless crush on her since her sensational debut in “To Have and Have Not.” I looked forward to the encounter with some trepidation. Not without reason. She looked spectacular that night, of course, and as we were introduced it was clear that Ben was dazzled. To my consternation so was she. That tilted chin, that come-hither look, the husky voice were all in full play and I could feel a knot forming in my stomach. Ben and I, who were not yet married at that time, separated in the crowd, talking to other people, although I couldn’t help noticing that he and Betty, as she was called, never left each other’s side.

When it came time for dinner, I went to find him and he had disappeared. Coincidentally, Betty was also nowhere to be found. I could see the pitying looks on the faces of my friends. I pretended to be unconcerned, got my plate and joined a group, but I was frantic. Ben and I had only recently gotten together, and now I was about to lose him to the sexiest movie star alive. It was at least an hour before they emerged from the dunes, laughing and talking as though they had no concept of time. Ben looked so pleased with himself I could have belted him. He was a bit sheepish when he joined me, and I looked hawkishly for signs of dishevelment, lipstick on the collar. I found nothing, but still. . . . It was no consolation when Betty came over to me as we were leaving and confided in me that Ben was the only man who had ever reminded her of Bogey. (Bogey, of course, being her first husband, Humphrey Bogart.)

And it continues on and on and on, you know, being about Sally.

Here’s Your Cheese Sandwich With a Side of Stupid

Consequence Free Sex (and more grammatically correct consequence-free sex) seems to be Wingnuttia’s new meme dujour. And let me add, that consequence-free sex is what men have enjoyed all along. No wonder they don’t want women to have it: it could mean careers, financial independence, and autonomy.

It’s Banned Books Week, Charlie Brown!

You want obscene books?

You want obscene books?

The American Library Association tells us that this is Banned Books Week:

Banned Books Week is an annual event celebrating the freedom to read. Typically held during the last week of September, it highlights the value of free and open access to information. Banned Books Week brings together the entire book community –- librarians, booksellers, publishers, journalists, teachers, and readers of all types –- in shared support of the freedom to seek and to express ideas, even those some consider unorthodox or unpopular.

Over this recent past decade, 5,099* challenges were reported to the Office for Intellectual Freedom.

1,577 challenges due to “sexually explicit” material;
1,291 challenges due to “offensive language”;
989 challenges due to materials deemed “unsuited to age group”;
619 challenged due to “violence”‘ and
361 challenges due to “homosexuality.”
Further, 274 materials were challenged due to “occult” or “Satanic” themes, an additional 291 were challenged due to their “religious viewpoint,” and 119 because they were “anti-family.”

Please note that the number of challenges and the number of reasons for those challenges do not match, because works are often challenged on more than one ground.

1,639 of these challenges were in school libraries; 1,811 were in classrooms; 1,217 took place in public libraries. There were 114 challenges to materials used in college classes; and 30 to academic libraries. There are isolated cases of challenges to library materials made available in or by prisons, special libraries, community groups, and students. The vast majority of challenges were initiated by parents (2,535), with patrons and administrators to follow (516 and 489 respectively).

We here at MPS love books, libraries, librarians (yowsa!), and Banned Books Week brings it all into focus. We are also of the opinion that information wants to be free and so we support public libraries unconditionally, donate books to them, and participate in their fundraising efforts (it is shameful on the face of it that public libraries have to have fundraising, but this is the age in which we live).

Here’s the 10 most banned books of 2012, which is reported by the Office for Intellectual Freedom:

  1. Captain Underpants (series), by Dav Pilkey.
    Reasons: Offensive language, unsuited for age group
  2. The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian, by Sherman Alexie.
    Reasons: Offensive language, racism, sexually explicit, unsuited for age group
  3. Thirteen Reasons Why, by Jay Asher.
    Reasons: Drugs/alcohol/smoking, sexually explicit, suicide, unsuited for age group
  4. Fifty Shades of Grey, by E. L. James.
    Reasons: Offensive language, sexually explicit
  5. And Tango Makes Three, by Peter Parnell and Justin Richardson.
    Reasons: Homosexuality, unsuited for age group
  6. The Kite Runner, by Khaled Hosseini.
    Reasons: Homosexuality, offensive language, religious viewpoint, sexually explicit
  7. Looking for Alaska, by John Green.
    Reasons: Offensive language, sexually explicit, unsuited for age group
  8. Scary Stories (series), by Alvin Schwartz
    Reasons: Unsuited for age group, violence
  9. The Glass Castle, by Jeanette Walls
    Reasons: Offensive language, sexually explicit
  10. Beloved, by Toni Morrison
    Reasons: Sexually explicit, religious viewpoint, violence

Yes, you read that right: Captain Underpants takes the top spot, which shows you how joyless the Xristian Xrazie scolds really are.

From the fevered brain of Ted Cruz

Honest to Dawg, Ted Cruz is a cork in the rectum of progress.