The Afternoon Quote

“Well, I hate to sound like the reporterette [Savannah Guthrie] that was giving him a hard time on television yesterday morning, but [Rand Paul] is going to have to explain a lot of things.”

–Y’all Qaeda’s own Tom Tancredo, former Rep. from Colorado.

One Lump of Stupid or Two, Sen. Paul?

Get the Popcorn!

Deer Eating Popcorn

You may recall that yesterday Rand Paul Schrödinger’s Candidate announced his 2016 Goat Rodeo run, and today he’s (again) mansplaining to the wimminfolk how to do their jobs:

“Why don’t you let me explain instead of talking over me,” replied Paul, before repeatedly accusing Guthrie of “editorializing.”

Then he gave her some free journalism advice: “Before we go through a litany of things you say I’ve changed on, why don’t you ask me a question, ‘Have I changed my opinion?’ That would be better way to approach an interview.” [Salon]

You might also recall that Sen. Aqua Buddha did something similar with CNBC’s Kelly Evans, when he sushed her and ordered her to stop talking while he was speaking. He’s a one-man front on the War on Women.

Some Fries With Your Stupid?

Just a spoon full of roofies...

Just a spoon full of roofies…

Did you know that free-range conspiracy theorist Glenn Beck was also part of the achingly glamourous world du fashion? (Altogether now, ME NEITHER!)

Well ladies, rejoice, as Glenn manages to market his clothes to you in the most, well, Beckian way:

1791 [Beck’s clothing line] is proud to announce our new line of women’s Denim. We begin with denim jacket and jeans.

They were designed for and tested on all the girls in my life. It has taken us almost two years to get the design just right.

Yes, he tested them on all the girls in his life.

I am proud that finally I can rest knowing any dad who feels the way I do about the most beautiful girl ever born, my daughter, will be able to feel that way when she slips into her favorite jeans, blouse and jacket.

That’s starting get a little creepy, imagining you daughter dressing in the morning, let alone that she is the most beautiful girl ever born.

My wife who is a little more like the current runway models and my daughter who is more classic both can wear and love their new 1791s.

So Glenn, why not just hold up a scorecard to let the little lady know what you think?

I kind of think it is one of those fundamental God given rights. To feel pretty.

Because you are.

Sweet Jeebus, I want to take a shower after that.

As we grow so will our selection and sizes because it is time we celebrate real diversity. After all, God made us different colors, shapes and sizes.

Stop it. Just stop it.

Please check out the beginning of our new line of women’s clothing at 1791.com and see what the power of a dads love for his daughter can build.

I’m calling child protective services, and I hope they remember to look in the basement. What are the sheep saying Clarice?

Hey, Boston Herald! ‘No’ Means No

Spanking just liked dear old dad

DEMOCRATS WOULD be making a big mistake if they let Hillary Clinton coast to the presidential nomination without real opposition, and, as a national leader, Massachusetts Senator Elizabeth Warren can make sure that doesn’t happen. While Warren has repeatedly vowed that she won’t run for president herself, she ought to reconsider. And if Warren sticks to her refusal, she should make it her responsibility to help recruit candidates to provide voters with a vigorous debate on her signature cause, reducing income inequality, over the next year.

You know, boys, when a woman says “No,” it means no.

Bad Ads, Cont.

HotPoint

Think how happy she would be if you bought her a gun. Just guessin’.

(Hat tip: Scissorhead Patrick Bjork)

Great Sexism, Cont.

Strange post title, huh, but wait! it’s true:

B92Cdr-IcAAC7ZI.jpg-large

More, please!

On Lump of Stupid or Two, Sen. Paul?

Rand-in-Box-2

Schrödinger’s Candidate, Rand Paul is renowned far and wide for his unique ability to use social media to troll his foes (and even has hired staff to do it), so it is rare that he steps out of the box and onto a rake:

Pinterest deleted Rand Paul’s sexist and unfunny Hillary Clinton ‘parody’

On Saturday, presidential hopeful/bona fide troll Rand Paul made a fake Pinterest page for Hillary Clinton. And shortly thereafter, Pinterest deleted the page — because making a fake Pinterest for a female politician is not only sexist, unfunny and painfully lame, but also explicitly violates Pinterest’s Terms of Service.

…The page, before Pinterest took it down, was presumably meant to “burn” Clinton, as my colleague Hunter Schwarz wrote Saturday. It included a “Power Couple” board with pictures of the Clintons. An “Inspirational Quotes” page, with text images of things Clinton has said. And, apropos of nothing, a “White House Remodel” page, complete with pictures of the furniture Clinton would buy to make the Oval Office “more chic.”

…But it’s impossible not to read into Paul’s choice of Pinterest for this particular stunt, particularly given that his past gags have gone down on Twitter only. Pinterest’s user base is overwhelmingly female — in fact, with default boards like “For the Home” and “My Style,” Pinterest is pretty explicitly branded that way.

On top of that, while most of the boards on the Clinton parody account targeted Clinton’s record — which is certainly fair game — the “White House Remodel” board has no apparent connection to Clinton, as a person or a politician. In fact, it’s unclear what aspects of her record Paul is “parodying” there — beside the fact that (heyo!) Clinton is a lady. It even came complete with stereotypical photo captions, falsely attributed to Clinton and crimped straight from suburban-mom speak: “LOVE this,” “lol,” hearts, smileys.

Good work, bro.

Tucker Carlson: Feminist

Tucker wants us to know that he found nothing appealing in Fifty Shades of Grey, and then for good measure adds, “If adult women find this appealing — I don’t get it, and you clearly find that embarrassing, but can we say that they shouldn’t find it appealing?”

I’m glad Hebephrenic TeeVee Dinner heir and vanity press owner Tucker Carlson could clear that up for the skirts.

Cherchez La Femme!

Crazy Unkka Pat gets to the heart of the matter concerning Rolex Bob McDonnell’s fall from grace: BLAME THE SHE-DEVIL!

One Lump of Stupid, Or Two?

schlafley surreal

Ancient hate goblin pessary Phyllis Schlafly takes to the pages of World Nut Daily to propose NEW MATH ON COLLEGE CAMPUSES:

Long ago when I went to college, campuses were about 70 percent male, and until 1970 it was still nearly 60 percent. Today, however, the male percentage has fallen to the low 40s on most campuses.

You can see where this is going already, right?

…Colleges claim they grant admissions based on academic merit, and girls come out of high school with better grades than boys. But that doesn’t always mean they are smarter or more capable of doing college work or succeeding after graduation.

Let’s see: merit-based entrance requirement discriminate against stupid candidates (men) and are biased towards successful candidates (women), and therefor ol’ Phyllis is suddenly in favor of… quotas?!

So, what’s the solution? One solution might be to impose the duty on admissions officers to arbitrarily admit only half women and half men.

What else you got, Phyl?

Another solution might be to stop granting college loans, thereby forcing students to take jobs to pay for their tuition and eliminate time for parties, perhaps even wiping out time for fraternities and sororities. I went through college while working a full-time manual-labor job, and I don’t regret a minute of it; it was a great learning experience.

OK, that would put it back out of reach of low income people…

Another solution would be to reinstate all the men’s sports that were canceled by an extremist feminist application of Title IX, the federal law that prohibits discrimination against female students.

And now I’m seeing the return of poodle skirts… OK, so college returns to being a (white male privilege) finishing school for stupid jocks?

The feminists have abolished more than 2,200 men’s college sports teams since 1981, such as wrestling, gymnastics, track, golf and even some football in order to limit the number of male players to Title IX guidelines. That removes a primary motivation for young men to go to college, many of whom want to try out for a sport even if they are not good enough to make the team.

…because sports are for boys. Left to their druthers, women would compete with each other using needle-work skills, baking for speed and accuracy? OK, now for the stunning conclusion about why this is a good idea for all college students. Wanna make a bet on what Schlafly says?

The popularity of the new college football playoff system illustrates how successful men’s college sports can be for participants and fans alike. But when colleges eliminate men’s sports, women are hurt by the resulting gender imbalance in enrollment.

And the essay ends right there, but the real conclusion seems obvious even to me: Women would benefit from this change because college would then have more eligible men for them to marry, and it would piss off the feminists. The End.