Don Feder, the president of listed hate group World Congress of Families presents the Top Ten Reasons Why Hitlery Will Never Be President. Here’s a taste from his introduction before he gets to his list
“Think Evita after Botox treatments. Think Madame Defarge on a bad hair day. Think Lady Macbeth with serious issues (“Out, out, damned bimbo!”).”
“To listen to the babbling heads, you’d think the Goldwater girl-turned-Alinsky-disciple could start preparing her acceptance speech (maybe Eleanor Roosevelt will help her write it). “Ooh, she’ll raise so much money.” “Ooh, women want a woman president.” In the immortal words of General Anthony McAuliffe: “Nuts!”
“Win the White House? Hillary couldn’t win a popularity contest if she was the only contestant. “
“Here are the Top Ten Reasons Hillary Rodham Clinton is more likely to become a Victoria’s Secret lingerie model than the next president…”
Writing comedy is hard, Barbie!
Let’s just say that he then does his best 1990s Yakov Smirnoff-Letterman Top 10 Countdown hybrid, his two-drink minimum routine is mostly hitting Bill Clinton’s weiner for punch lines. That is, until he gets to the recycled Yo Momma So Ugly part of his routine:
10. The Hideousness Factor – Lyndon Baines Johnson was the last profoundly ugly candidate to be elected president, and he was a legacy of the martyred JFK. Voters don’t want a leader who looks frazzled or frumpy. We’re told that Lincoln was too homely to be elected president in an age of television and paparazzi. But Lincoln’s homely face had a dignity, a gravitas. If nothing else, we want a face that reassures us, not one that scares us, a la Night of the Living Alinskyites.
And just so you know that his assessment of the attractiveness of Clinton is completely on the up and up, as you can see, he’s a hunka-hunka burnin’ love, a veritable handsome devil hisself.