The Morning Quote: Rhett or Ashleigh, Cont.

“Some of your friends suggested [the death of your parents] might be the reason you never got married. We can’t put you on the psychiatrist couch. But …”

I think Senatorette needs her salts after the setup to that question.

Rhett or Ashleigh, Cont.

Scarlett: Sir, you are no gentleman. Rhett Butler: And you, Miss, are no lady.

Scarlett: Sir, you are no gentleman.
Rhett Butler: And you, Miss, are no lady.

Sometimes, a lady doesn’t get any respect: according to the latest polling of South Carolina by Winthrop University, of the registered Republicans likely to vote in the primary for 2016 Goat Rodeo, 54.9% would NOT vote for Huckleberry Closetcase. The only potential candidate who polled lower: short-fingered vulgarian The Donald.

The Brave World Of Lindsey Graham

The 2016 Goat Rodeo

Goat Rodeo goat down

“In TV appearances, on the campaign trail, and even in private fundraisers, Graham, an Air Force reservist and one of his party’s most prominent defense hawks, has gone after Paul repeatedly and by name, casting him as weak-kneed and unwilling to protect the country from aggressors.”

“In interviews, Graham aides said he was laying out a plan to position himself as Paul’s foil, and will repeatedly contrast his foreign policy positions to that of the Kentucky senator’s more isolationist views, especially in debates. They believe that going after Paul — or “putting wood on him,” in the words of one aide — drives attention to Graham and, at a time of rising concern about threats from abroad, helps establish himself as the hawk of the Republican field.” (Tiger Beat On The Potomac –Thanks Charie!)

That’s not a campaign strategy, that’s a public service for his brethren in Wingnuttia, or more likely some quid pro quo for his payroll masters in the Defense Industries.

So what are the house odds that Huckleberry Closetcase will drop out of the race the moment Schrödinger’s Candidate Rand Paul crashes and burns?

The Morning Quote, Rhett or Ashleigh Edition

Scarlett: Sir, you are no gentleman. Rhett Butler: And you, Miss, are no lady.

Scarlett: Sir, you are no gentleman.
Rhett Butler: And you, Miss, are no lady.

“The best deal, I think, comes with a new president. Hillary Clinton would do better. I think everybody on our side, except maybe Rand Paul, could do better.”

Senatorette Miss Lindsey Graham, who is also a potential 2016 Goat Rodeo contender is catty about Schroëdinger’s Candidate Sen. Rand Paul negotiating with Iran.

News That Will Drive You To Drink

Bring Huckleberry Closetcase His Salts!

Senatorette Miss Lindsey Graham sends us an update on ISIS from the bunker underneath her fainting couch: “We’re all gonna die!”

2016 Goat Rodeo Update!

Scarlett: Sir, you are no gentleman. Rhett Butler: And you, Miss, are no lady.

Scarlett: Sir, you are no gentleman.
Rhett Butler: And you, Miss, are no lady.

Tiger Beat on the Potomac (thanks Charlie!) breathlessly tells us:

Lindsey Graham ramps up staffing for possible 2016 bid

OK, so I’m salivating thinking about all revelations that the rent boys opposition research will bring to us about Huckleberry Closetcase, but the best line from the article is easily this:

Jon Seaton, a longtime GOP operative who was Tim Pawlenty’s national political director last presidential cycle, will serve as senior political adviser to the 527-designated group, which pays for Graham’s political travel and other expenses related to testing the waters” ahead of a possible presidential run.

Boy, that’s bringing in the heavy guns (not really), a guy from the campaign that folded the instant that One-L won the Iowa pig-kissing and corn-dog deep-throating jamboree (which on its own is reason enough to want Senatorette Lindsey Graham there).

Because We Love A Good Clarification

Scarlett: Sir, you are no gentleman. Rhett Butler: And you, Miss, are no lady.

Scarlett: Sir, you are no gentleman.
Rhett Butler: And you, Miss, are no lady.

Hey guys, remember that time that Senatorette Miss Lindsey Graham said the first thing he would do if elected preznint would be to throw a coup to get his way on Defense Spending?

(Altogether now: Me Neither!)

His office cleared it up:

Graham’s spokesperson has clarified to Bloomberg that when Graham said “I would literally use the military to keep them in if I had to,” that statement was “not to be taken literally.” Glad that’s been cleared up.

One Lump of Stupid or Two, Senatorette Graham

Scarlett: Sir, you are no gentleman. Rhett Butler: And you, Miss, are no lady.

Scarlett: Sir, you are no gentleman.
Rhett Butler: And you, Miss, are no lady.

Senatorette Lindsey Graham answers the question on everybody’s lips: Rhett or Ashleigh “What would be your first act as preznint?” (No one asked)

“I would literally use the military to keep [Congress in session] if I had to. We’re not leaving town until we restore these defense cuts. We are not leaving town until we restore the intel cuts.”

So his first act would be to have a coup?

POP QUIZ!

Scarlett: Sir, you are no gentleman. Rhett Butler: And you, Miss, are no lady.

Scarlett: Sir, you are no gentleman.
Rhett Butler: And you, Miss, are no lady.

[Senatorette Lindsey] Graham: I’ve got what GOP needs in 2016

  • Thorozine and a Polo Mallet?
  • Whip and a Chair?
  • Splash towels?

It really feels like Lindsey is trolling us, But I know that we are up to challenge. For a third of a point counting towards your midterm grade, add more things to this list of what Senatorette Graham has that the GOP needs.

In the comments, #2 Pencils only.