Your Sunday Bottomless Mimosa of Stupid

Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.) on Sunday blasted a House GOP-led investigation that recently debunked myths about the 2012 Benghazi attack.

“I think the report is full of crap,” Graham said on CNN’s “State of the Union.”

Mind your manners, Senatorette, or your’ll never land Ashleigh.

Rhett or Ashleigh? (Cont.)

Scarlett: Sir, you are no gentleman. Rhett Butler: And you, Miss, are no lady.

Scarlett: Sir, you are no gentleman.
Rhett Butler: And you, Miss, are no lady.

Senatorette Huckleberry Closetcase is either squealing with joy, or just squealing as U.S. District Judge Richard Mark Gergel rules that seething hotbed of unbridled lust South Carolina’s ban on gay marriage violates same-sex couples’ rights to equal protection and due process under the Fourteenth Amendment of the U.S. Constitution.

SC Decision: Rhett or Scarlet

Meet Senatorette Huckleberry Closetcase’s teabagger challenger Lee Bright:

Let’s go down the Saint Ronnie checklist, shall we? Ungrateful takers, Nicest cars=Cadillac-driving welfare cheats, nicest food=young bucks eating T-bone steaks, let the church take care of the aged and infirmed but able-bodied and not working people should not eat. Yup, he hit all the Southern Strategy Talking Points.

St. Ronnie and Lee Atwater: together again

St. Ronnie and Lee Atwater: together again

Somewhere, Lee Atwater is smiling.

Rhett or Ashleigh, cont.

Scarlett: Sir, you are no gentleman. Rhett Butler: And you, Miss, are no lady.

Scarlett: Sir, you are no gentleman.
Rhett Butler: And you, Miss, are no lady.

Senator Huckleberry Closetcase swears as God is his witness that he’ll never help his colleague Tim Scott again:

“You just mentioned Lindsey Graham, the great Lindsey Graham of your state, are you supporting him for reelection?” CNN Crossfire host Van Jones asked Scott.

“You know, as you three have just heard recently, I am up for reelection next year myself,” Scott said. “I’m going to make sure that Tim Scott gets out and knocks on as many doors as possible, and I’m going to allow for all the other folks on the ballot to represent themselves very well. But I’m going to continue to work hard for my election.”

“So, no endorsement for Lindsey tonight,” Jones said.

“I’m certainly going to be working really hard for Tim Scott’s reelection,” Scott replied.

The Right to Life…

…ends at birth:

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Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-SC) on Thursday introduced legislation that would ban abortions nationwide for women more than 20 weeks pregnant, the senator’s office announced.

The Pain-Capable Unborn Child Protection Act draws on scientific evidence that says an unborn child can feel pain, according to Graham’s office. The legislation would make it illegal for any person to perform or attempt to perform an abortion after 20 weeks, or six months, of pregnancy and would mandate a determination of the probable post-fertilization age of the unborn child prior to any abortion operation.

Introduced by Senatorette Huckleberry Closetcase, who doesn’t know nothin’ ’bout birthin’ no babies, is participating in his first three-way, um, primary for the GOP nomination. He’s gotta butch it up for the rubes back in the seething hotbed of unbridled lust that is South Carolina.

The Morning Quote

Lindsey Graham and Sotomayor.jpg

“This is a debate worthy of a great democracy. When do you become you? At 20 weeks of a pregnancy, what is the proper role of the government in protecting that child?”

–Lindsey Graham

We’ve had that debate, Huckleberry. It is settled law.

Rhett or Ashleigh?, cont.

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Senatorette Huckleberry Closetcase’s approval poll numbers are dropping, so expect to see some butching up soon.

Primary Challenge!

Livewire reports:

“As expected, Nancy Mace officially announced her candidacy to challenge Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-SC) in the state’s 2014 Republican primary on Saturday.”

“That Bitch!,” Senatorette Huckleberry Closetcase did not sob into his pillow.

Senatorette Lindsey Graham Feels Good

This past weekend, a group of conservatives met in Columbia, trying to come up with a plan to defeat [Senator Lindsey Graham] in the GOP primary, according to a Patch.com report.

“I expect them to mount a challenge, and I expect to fight back and push back,”Graham said Monday. “I feel good about my re-election.”

“Mmmmm, mount,” Graham did not whisper to himself, flicking his lips.

(The State)

What’s knotting-up Lindsey Graham’s panties today?

In the never-ending quest to prevent a primary challenge from his right, SC Senator Lindsey Graham (R-Closet) has been on a manly-man quest to tack hard-right to please the teabaggers (a constituency he should know very well, if you catch my drift and I think you do). When he puts on his hunting togs–we’re thinking jodhpurs and knee-high boots, red velvet coat, and yes, we believe he has them in his closet, probably on a houseboy–we will have a good laugh.

Anyway, today instead of screaming Benghazi at us, he’s found a new show tune:

“Here’s my belief: let’s take Obamacare and put it on the table. If you want to look at ways to find $1.2 trillion in savings over the next decade, let’s look at Obamacare. Let’s don’t destroy the military and just cut blindly across the board.”

Huckleberry hopes that screaming socialism will line up the rubes behind him. That boat done set sail, Senator.

(Think Progress has a non-snarky look at what cutting healthcare would mean in real terms. Senatorette Miss Lindsey Graham ought to be ashamed.)