News That Will Drive You To Drink

Bring Huckleberry Closetcase His Salts!

Senatorette Miss Lindsey Graham sends us an update on ISIS from the bunker underneath her fainting couch: “We’re all gonna die!”

2016 Goat Rodeo Update!

Scarlett: Sir, you are no gentleman. Rhett Butler: And you, Miss, are no lady.

Scarlett: Sir, you are no gentleman.
Rhett Butler: And you, Miss, are no lady.

Tiger Beat on the Potomac (thanks Charlie!) breathlessly tells us:

Lindsey Graham ramps up staffing for possible 2016 bid

OK, so I’m salivating thinking about all revelations that the rent boys opposition research will bring to us about Huckleberry Closetcase, but the best line from the article is easily this:

Jon Seaton, a longtime GOP operative who was Tim Pawlenty’s national political director last presidential cycle, will serve as senior political adviser to the 527-designated group, which pays for Graham’s political travel and other expenses related to testing the waters” ahead of a possible presidential run.

Boy, that’s bringing in the heavy guns (not really), a guy from the campaign that folded the instant that One-L won the Iowa pig-kissing and corn-dog deep-throating jamboree (which on its own is reason enough to want Senatorette Lindsey Graham there).

Because We Love A Good Clarification

Scarlett: Sir, you are no gentleman. Rhett Butler: And you, Miss, are no lady.

Scarlett: Sir, you are no gentleman.
Rhett Butler: And you, Miss, are no lady.

Hey guys, remember that time that Senatorette Miss Lindsey Graham said the first thing he would do if elected preznint would be to throw a coup to get his way on Defense Spending?

(Altogether now: Me Neither!)

His office cleared it up:

Graham’s spokesperson has clarified to Bloomberg that when Graham said “I would literally use the military to keep them in if I had to,” that statement was “not to be taken literally.” Glad that’s been cleared up.

One Lump of Stupid or Two, Senatorette Graham

Scarlett: Sir, you are no gentleman. Rhett Butler: And you, Miss, are no lady.

Scarlett: Sir, you are no gentleman.
Rhett Butler: And you, Miss, are no lady.

Senatorette Lindsey Graham answers the question on everybody’s lips: Rhett or Ashleigh “What would be your first act as preznint?” (No one asked)

“I would literally use the military to keep [Congress in session] if I had to. We’re not leaving town until we restore these defense cuts. We are not leaving town until we restore the intel cuts.”

So his first act would be to have a coup?

POP QUIZ!

Scarlett: Sir, you are no gentleman. Rhett Butler: And you, Miss, are no lady.

Scarlett: Sir, you are no gentleman.
Rhett Butler: And you, Miss, are no lady.

[Senatorette Lindsey] Graham: I’ve got what GOP needs in 2016

  • Thorozine and a Polo Mallet?
  • Whip and a Chair?
  • Splash towels?

It really feels like Lindsey is trolling us, But I know that we are up to challenge. For a third of a point counting towards your midterm grade, add more things to this list of what Senatorette Graham has that the GOP needs.

In the comments, #2 Pencils only.

Thank You, Jeebus, For This Blessing

Scarlett: Sir, you are no gentleman. Rhett Butler: And you, Miss, are no lady.

Scarlett: Sir, you are no gentleman.
Rhett Butler: And you, Miss, are no lady.

Sen. Lindsey Graham of South Carolina has set up a committee he says will help him look beyond his home state to determine if he might have a “viable path” to the Republican presidential nomination.

Graham said on NBC’s “Meet the Press” that he set up a “testing-the-waters committee” to allow him to consider a presidential bid.

We might yet say, Madame President. Sends tingles down my spine, it does.

Your Sunday Bottomless Mimosa of Stupid

Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.) on Sunday blasted a House GOP-led investigation that recently debunked myths about the 2012 Benghazi attack.

“I think the report is full of crap,” Graham said on CNN’s “State of the Union.”

Mind your manners, Senatorette, or your’ll never land Ashleigh.

Rhett or Ashleigh? (Cont.)

Scarlett: Sir, you are no gentleman. Rhett Butler: And you, Miss, are no lady.

Scarlett: Sir, you are no gentleman.
Rhett Butler: And you, Miss, are no lady.

Senatorette Huckleberry Closetcase is either squealing with joy, or just squealing as U.S. District Judge Richard Mark Gergel rules that seething hotbed of unbridled lust South Carolina’s ban on gay marriage violates same-sex couples’ rights to equal protection and due process under the Fourteenth Amendment of the U.S. Constitution.