More Cringe-Worthy Reporting From Mark Halperin

The Death of the Media

Drooling fuckknuckle

The Pantheon of Dunces

Long-time readers know that Scissorheads have at best a skeptical relationship with the so-called Liberal Media (hint: it isn’t), and in particular we have a strong aversion to the vile hack Mark Halperin, who is always wrong.

Anyway, Halperin interviews Canadian-born latino and immigrant-hating southern white supremacist Senator Ted Cruz, and really seems to expect Desi Arnaz:

Of course all of Wingnuttia is now screaming about the Liberal Media, forgetting that Halperin once called The Kenyan Usurper a dick on Morning Joe, or any of his other many outrageous transgressions he has committed as a water-carrying journalist for the right.

World’s Worst Writer Writes World’s Worst Column

Richard  Cohen, World's Worst Writer

Richard Cohen, World’s Worst Writer

“Ferguson has become the liberal Benghazi. It is more of a cause than a place, more of an ideological statement than an incident. Ferguson was not the racist murder it was thought to be, and Benghazi was not an incident in which the Obama administration’s incompetence or timidity allowed four Americans to die. The facts argue otherwise.”

…”If Brown was not criminally shot because he was black, then possibly the cop was accused because he was white. Who was the stereotyped individual here?”


Your Bottomless Mimosa of Stupid

Whatever you think of the Starbucks race initiative, this Ayn Rand idiot Jonathan Hoenig (Greed is Good: The Capitalist Pig Guide to Investing) is exactly why America needs to discuss race:

“Eric, there is no discussion needed on race. I resent this whole idea that America is this racist country, that we somehow have to remedy through chit-chat at Starbucks.”

“Stop identifying by your race. You’re not responsible for things that came before you, and you’re not entitled to things that came before you.”

“There’s no discussion needed on race in this country, the ones who want the discussion, in my opinion, are the racists.”

Petunia and Pals Wins The Morning!

So let me get this right: a school district in Virginia should apologize to Petunia’s all-white guests for a Black History Month event about police brutality.

Got it.

Bad Optics

Well, this isn’t going to look like outreach to the blahs:

GOP leaders to skip Selma event

Scores of U.S. lawmakers are converging on tiny Selma, Alabama, for a large commemoration of a civil rights anniversary. But their ranks don’t include a single member of House Republican leadership — a point that isn’t lost on congressional black leaders.

Fifty years ago, the GOP was there in force.

Martin Luther King and son find a burned cross on their lawn.

Martin Luther King and son find a burned cross on their lawn.

Oh, wait.

Takes One To Know One

The Death of the Media

clarence.jpgFrom Juan Williams writing in the Wall Street Journal, who sings the praises of Clarence Thomas as a race healer:


“Justice Thomas, who has been on the court nearly a quarter-century, remains a polarizing figure—loved by conservatives and loathed by liberals. But his “free”-thinking legal opinions are opening new roads for the American political debate on racial justice.

His opinions are rooted in the premise that the 14th Amendment—guaranteeing equal rights for all—cannot mean different things for different people. As he wrote in Fisher v. University of Texas (2013), he is opposed to “perpetual racial tinkering” by judges to fix racial imbalance and inequality at schools and the workplace. Yet he never contends racism has gone away. The fact that a 2001 article in Time magazine about him was headlined “Uncle Tom Justice” reminds us that racism stubbornly persists.

…Justice Thomas, meanwhile, is reshaping the law and government policy on race by virtue of the power of his opinions from the bench. Thurgood Marshall, the first African-American on the Supreme Court, stood up as a voice insisting on rights for black people. Justice Thomas, the second black man on the court, takes a different tack. He stands up for individual rights as a sure blanket of legal protection for everyone, including minorities.”

That the Uncle Ruckus of the Supreme Court is reshaping the law and government policy on race is by dismantling The Civil Rights Act of 1964 and Voting Rights Act clause-by-clause, of this there can be no doubt. Thomas’ fix to all societal problems is telling minorities to pull themselves up by their own societal bootstraps, even though (as Williams points out) he knows that racism exists. He gives a fig leaf of coverage to institutional racism.

Thomas’ one-size-fits-all world view will be put to the test with Marriage Equality this term, and I suspect he will absolutely be against it.

Why Fox News contributor Juan Williams is writing a mash note to Clarence Thomas is the real question here. Or maybe it’s not.

D’Vorce D’Spousa’s Totally Dog Whistle Tweet

Documentarian fabulist, convicted felon, fired Y’all Qaeda business school dean, and would-be bigamist D’VORCE D’SPOUSA has done gone slipped into Ann Coulter racist territory. And while I seriously believe it is only a matter of time before Coulter starts selling speculum peeks for $5, it is really hard to imagine how much lower this man will go for attention.

News That Will Drive You To Drink

KKKUpcakes are the favorite treat of Rep. Steve Scalise (Confederacy-LA)

KKKUpcakes are the favorite treat of Rep. Steve Scalise (Confederacy-LA)

Never apologize, never surrender:

Six years before he spoke to a white supremacist group, while he was a state legislator, House Majority Whip Steve Scalise (R-La.) voted against a resolution apologizing for slavery, according to a 1996 article from New Orleans’s Times-Picayune…

“Why are you asking me to apologize for something I didn’t do and had no part of?” Scalise is quoted as saying in the newspaper. “I am not going to apologize for what somebody else did.”

Scalise spokeswoman Moira Smith did not respond to two emails and a voice message seeking comment about the congressman’s vote.

And that, kiddies, demonstrates to us the difference between quietly objecting to a bill and VEHEMENTLY opposing a bill. Scalise also voted against making Martin Luther King Jr.’s birthday a state holiday, so you know that the number 3 Republican is consistent.

(Image Hat tip: Scissorhead Patrick Bjork)

Your Saturday Bottomless Mug of Stupid

“That’s my question about these guys because if we know they were speaking unaccented French and they had, you know, ski masks on, do we even know what color they were. What the tone of their skin was. I mean what if they didn’t look like typical bad guys?’

–Fox News anchor Shannon Bream

Why are all the dogs barking, Shannon?


I’m Shocked, Shocked I Say

And here’s the Google map with the key. The data is drawn from the Southern Poverty Law Center, so if you believe in their methodology (I do), then that’s a pretty accurate map.

You can draw your own conclusions from that map, but the idea that we live in a post-racial society is laughable.