News That Will Drive You To Drink

KKKUpcakes are the favorite treat of Rep. Steve Scalise (Confederacy-LA)

KKKUpcakes are the favorite treat of Rep. Steve Scalise (Confederacy-LA)

Never apologize, never surrender:

Six years before he spoke to a white supremacist group, while he was a state legislator, House Majority Whip Steve Scalise (R-La.) voted against a resolution apologizing for slavery, according to a 1996 article from New Orleans’s Times-Picayune…

“Why are you asking me to apologize for something I didn’t do and had no part of?” Scalise is quoted as saying in the newspaper. “I am not going to apologize for what somebody else did.”

Scalise spokeswoman Moira Smith did not respond to two emails and a voice message seeking comment about the congressman’s vote.

And that, kiddies, demonstrates to us the difference between quietly objecting to a bill and VEHEMENTLY opposing a bill. Scalise also voted against making Martin Luther King Jr.’s birthday a state holiday, so you know that the number 3 Republican is consistent.

(Image Hat tip: Scissorhead Patrick Bjork)

Your Saturday Bottomless Mug of Stupid

“That’s my question about these guys because if we know they were speaking unaccented French and they had, you know, ski masks on, do we even know what color they were. What the tone of their skin was. I mean what if they didn’t look like typical bad guys?’

–Fox News anchor Shannon Bream

Why are all the dogs barking, Shannon?

(TPM)

I’m Shocked, Shocked I Say

And here’s the Google map with the key. The data is drawn from the Southern Poverty Law Center, so if you believe in their methodology (I do), then that’s a pretty accurate map.

You can draw your own conclusions from that map, but the idea that we live in a post-racial society is laughable.

As Miss Janet Jackson Once Sang…

Both Sides Redux

Jonah Doughy Pantload surreal

“…what have you done for me lately?”

Every good liberal worth their salt knew the moment that Steve Scalise’s (Republikkkan – LA) friendship with David Duke and other white supremacists was brought to the nation’s attention, that Wingnuttia was going to immediately bring up that late Democratic Senator Robert Byrd once belonged to the KKK, and that The Kenyan Usurper belonged to Rev. Wright’s church (“Reverse Racism!,” they screamed) and of course, Al Sharpton, whom The Confederacy thinks is Nat Turner reincarnated.

So it comes as little surprise that noted white power scandal sheet The National Review would put their favorite legacy hire and the best son in the world Jonah Goldberg onto the job of proclaiming false equivalency. And boy-howdy! does Doughy Pantload deliver the goods!

…Countless conservatives want to know: Why the double standard? Barack Obama was friends with a domestic terrorist, Bill Ayers. His spiritual mentor was a vitriolic racist, Jeremiah Wright. One of his administration’s closest advisers and allies is Al Sharpton, a man who has inspired enough racial violence to make a grand dragon’s white sheets turn green with envy.

Meanwhile, the Democratic party venerated the late senator Robert Byrd, a former Klansman himself. He was one of 19 senators (all Democrats) to sign the Southern Manifesto opposing integration. One of his co-signers was William Fulbright, Bill Clinton’s mentor.

And so it goes. Wingnuttia is as predictable as it is dense on the subject of race. We can go performa here and cite that the GOP was founded by Lincoln and that they fought for, and signed on to the 1964 Civil Rights Act, but then it always goes silent, and Miss Jackson is warming up. So what have you done for Rick Santorum’s friends, the Blahs, lately?

We can start from Nixon-Reagan Southern Strategy and work our way forward, but I don’t think we need to. The Republicans have reformulated, regrouped, and rebranded. They now are the Confederacy reborn, they are working at rewriting our history to say (dog whistle ahead) that the Civil War was about States Rights, African Americans were better off as slaves (because generational poverty brought on by lack of opportunity is The New Slavery), and of course the Curse of Ham always subtly mentioned by Y’all Qaeda thrown in for good measure.

These are the people who would be delighted to tell Oliver Twist that he cannot have more soup.

UPDATE, and here’s a headline that’s gonna leave a mark: Much of David Duke’s ’91 Campaign Is Now in Louisiana Mainstream

The Morning Quote, David Duke Edition

KKK

“If Scalise is going to be crucified — if Republicans want to throw Steve Scalise to the woods, then a lot of them better be looking over their shoulders,” Duke warned, intimating that he would reveal his ties to any politicians who attack Scalise.

Thank you Jeebus for this gift we are about the receive.

(Raw Story)

The Morning Quote

“James Bond is a total concept put together by Ian Fleming. He was white and Scottish, period. That is who James Bond is.”

Junkie Limbaugh reacting to the possibility that non-white and not Scottish actor Idris Elba (Luther, The Wire) might star as 007.

We regret to inform Junkie that there has not been a white Scotsman playing Bond since Sean Connery.

We also want again to raise the question, why not a woman, a Jane Bond? This would also just flip little Rushbo’s sexist mind, but could be really a great new twist in the series. Years ago, I remember Sarah Michelle Geller (Buffy The Vampire Slayer) said that she wanted the part, and I thought that would have been cool.

So… who would you like to see as the next Bond?

The Morning Quote, Giuliani-style

rudylogo.jpg

“We’ve had four months of propaganda starting with the president that everybody should hate the police. The protests are being embraced, the protests are being encouraged. The protests, even the ones that don’t lead to violence, a lot of them lead to violence, all of them lead to a conclusion: The police are bad, the police are racist. That is completely wrong.”

–Mr. 9/11, Rudy Giuliani

Rudy, please cite your sources. I want to see this propaganda you claim has been coming from the president for months. Just one example will do, but four months worth sounds pretty exact, so it should be pretty easy to find. I’ll wait.

Your Bottomless Mimosa Of Stupid

Hebephrenic TeeVee Dinner heir and vanity press owner Tucker Carlson:

“But it’s such an emotional thing, it’s so wrong, immoral, unfair, that it’s almost hard not to point at some of the people who have been whipping race hatred in this country for the past couple of months, and saying they do bear some responsibility for this.”

He has no self-awareness, does he?

I Bet Rand Paul Feels Better Now That…

Jonah Doughy Pantload surreal

Doughy Pantload defends his insightful analysis that the cigarette tax is the root cause of Eric Garner’s death:

Reasonable people can disagree on whether racism was involved in the tragic death of Eric Garner. My own suspicion is that this misfortune could have transpired just as easily with a white man resisting arrest and/or a black cop choking him.

Because it is never about race. Do continue, Mr. Pantload.

But you know what reasonable people can’t dispute? New York’s cigarette taxes are partly to blame for Eric Garner’s death.

Really? I’m fascinated. Tell me more.

When you pass a law, you authorize law enforcement to enforce it. That’s actually why they’re called “law enforcement.” Google it.

That is some stunning insight Jonah. No wonder you get the big bucks, even as a legacy hire.