News That Will Drive You To Drink: Toe-Sucking Pundit Predicts Walker Win

-Buh-Bye Scott Walker: Dick Morris Says You're Gonna Win!

-Buh-Bye Scott Walker: Dick Morris Says You’re Gonna Win!

Ah, the last time we checked in with ol’ Hungry, Hungry Hooker-hooves hisself, Dick Morris, he was predicting a 2012 Goat Rodeo landslide win for the Stench & Gilligan, and he was shamed, shushed, and removed from the payroll at Fox.

But today, we have some of his brilliant, always wrong punditry to point and laugh at:

The Wisconsin governor has been elected and reelected, and defeated a recall attempt in a key swing state. His combat credentials are enough to assuage worries the establishment might have about a first-time candidate. His record on job creation and fiscal discipline is admirable. He is the Christie who succeeded; Wisconsin is where the New Jersey governor dreamed his state would be.

Yet Walker’s credentials as a battler against the left earn him backing from the right wing of the Republican Party, including his stand against municipal unions, amnesty and Common Core.

From the Republican point of view, he is America’s most successful governor. He offers a chance to take the education issue away from Hillary Clinton. He has actually turned a school system around, ironically, by applying some of the very same remedies Clinton first proposed in Arkansas in 1982 but has long since abandoned in her sycophancy toward the National Education Association and the American Federation of Teachers.

And Walker has been vetted. He has been through a trial by fire that no other GOP presidential aspirant has. Under the constant pressure of the municipal labor unions, continuously tested in recalls (both his own and his senators’), he has survived nicely.

Energetic, young, charismatic and fresh, Walker provides just the kind of generational contrast Clinton has most to fear. And, now with Mitt Romney out of the race, he can spread his wings.

And so there you have it: Scott Walker will not be the next president of the United States. Dick Morris’s prediction is the ultimate abettor to a massive, world-class FAIL.

The Event Horizon of Punditry Has Occurred

Megan McArdle

Oh, gawd, Megan McArdle cites Peggy Noonan to defend Joni Ernst’s silly bread bags story. T’is a marvel to behold.

I am a few years younger than Noonan, but I grew up in a very different world — one where a number of my grammar school classmates were living in public housing or on food stamps, but everyone had more than one pair of shoes. In rural areas, like the one where Joni Ernst grew up, this lingered longer. But all along, Americans got richer and things got cheaper — especially when global markets opened up. Payless will sell you a pair of child’s shoes for $15, which is two hours of work even at minimum wage.

And then, helpfully, McArdle let’s us know her age in relationship to Ernst, because why not?

Joni Ernst, who is just a few years older than me, had a much more affluent childhood than the generation that settled the prairies, and more affluent still than the generations before them. But in many ways, she was much poorer than the people making fun of her on Twitter, simply because so many goods have gotten so much more abundant. Not just processed foods and flat-screen televisions — the favorite target of people who like to pooh-pooh economic progress. But good and necessary things such as shoes for your children and fresh vegetables to feed them, even in winter.

Why is it that no Wingnuttian pundit ever mentions the rise of Unions in the early part of the last century, that helped kids have more shoes as a rising middle class was created? Why do they always forget that when explaining away how so many of us have more than one pair of shoes? And why do they always sound nostalgic for days of want? Why one would think that they want to take away shoes from the needy, just so that the needy can be better people for wanting shoes.

Your Saturday Bottomless Mug of Stupid

“That’s my question about these guys because if we know they were speaking unaccented French and they had, you know, ski masks on, do we even know what color they were. What the tone of their skin was. I mean what if they didn’t look like typical bad guys?’

–Fox News anchor Shannon Bream

Why are all the dogs barking, Shannon?


Shorter David Brooks:

bobo tongues the world surreal

White, Like Me

Brothers Pierce and Driftglass are on the case, so I don’t feel I’m needed here, but if you have a moment and you want to read some banal pretension on class and race, Brooks is your man. Dressing robe, cigar, and snifter optional. You’re a better man than I, Gunga Din.

Some Fries With Your Stupid?


Elsa, She-Wolf of the Nazis Ann Coulter has an opinion on Ferguson.

Here’s Your Stupid, On The Rocks

Todd Starnes Status

When I snapped that, it was shared 1800 times and liked by 7700+ others.

Is David Brooks Trolling Us Now?


This move would also make it much less likely that we’ll have immigration reform anytime soon. White House officials are often misinformed on what Republicans are privately discussing, so they don’t understand that many in the Republican Party are trying to find a way to get immigration reform out of the way. This executive order would destroy their efforts.

David F***ing Brooks

With apologies to Driftglass for stepping into his beat… but what the fck is Bobo smoking? The Senate bill was smothered in the cradle nearly 17 months ago, and its author Marco ‘Big Gulp’ Rubio has all but gone into the Witness Protection Program on the topic. And less we all forget, in the House, the immigration reform bill was developed by:

Far-away Eyes

Steve ‘Cantaloupe Calves’ King and our old pal One-L

Bad Advice

The Dick Whisperer Dana Milbank says:

Back in July, when President Obama was deciding whether to take executive action on immigration before the midterm elections, I got into one of those cable-news debates that offer the president unsolicited advice from the unqualified.

I argued that the move would boost Hispanic turnout and rally a depressed Democratic base. Yes, it might hurt some vulnerable Democratic candidates, but it would cement Hispanic loyalty to the party in the long run: “It’s a question of, whose interest is he looking out for?”

My opposite, Bloomberg News’s Mark Halperin, countered against “inflaming” the Republican base. “There’s almost no competitive races where the Hispanic vote is going to be decisive,” he argued, and “there are a lot of Democratic strategists who say, ‘This will hurt our chances in the midterms. Why not wait until November to do it?’ ”

“So,” asked the host, “why are they even considering it?”

Replied Halperin: “My sources and I, we can’t figure it out.”

And so the White House followed the Halperin advice, breaking what I think is an axiomatic rule: if you ever find yourself considering Mark Halperin’s advice on anything at all (including which mustard is good on a hot dog), you need to ask yourself solemnly, why do you want to be wrong?

Some Stupid For Your Coffee

Obama Is “The Most Racist President There Has Ever Been In America”

Bueller? Anyone?

Good News (sort of)


CNN’s dreadful show Crossfire is cancelled. What will Parker Warby spokesmodel S.E. Cupp and staff-banging serial adulterer Newticles do with their spare time?

While we’d like to think that someone at CNN realized that their decision to kill it 10 years ago (thanks Jon Stewart!) was still the right decision, it appears to be a victim of other cost-cutting measures.

The first time it went out with a bang — this time it went out with a whimper; CNN’s Crossfire is no more. Again. The show had been missing in action for weeks and already some of its co-hosts — Stephanie Cutter, Newt Gingrich, S.E. Cupp and Van Jones — have been popping up as contributors around the network’s landscape. Some staff have been moved to other programs, and the remainder have been encouraged to apply for open positions within the bureau, source say — surprising, given that CNN is in the process of slashing about 300 positions… But today’s big CNN headline is the cancellation of Crossfire, which had been exhumed in September of ’13, and quickly did not catch on with viewers.

Ooh, that’s good and snarky!

Anyway, we are sorry for anyone losing a job these days and so for all the people who worked behind the scenes, we wish you all the luck in the world. Advice: at your next gig, if you see Newticles or Sippy Cupp, run like hell.