The Drinks of CPAC and POP QUIZ!

pigs drinkingWe were astonished to learn that those tea bagging party animals at #CPAC had to time to get their drink on:

National Harbor, Maryland (CNN)The cocktail menu at Harrington’s Pub, a watering hole next to the hotel hosting an annual gathering of the nation’s top Republicans, listed 10 specialty drinks, each named after a possible GOP presidential candidate.

Would I try my luck with “The Fiorina Freedom” or “The Captain Carson”? Perhaps “Rubio’s Thirst Quencher” or “Rand’s Liquid Liberty”?

Now, of course if we Scissorheads were to design the cocktail menu at CPAC, the names of the libations would be much, much snarkier and better. Fiorina Freedom? How about trying a Carley’s Golden Parachute! Of course the drinks would consist of Kool Aid with perhaps some Ex-Lax, but that’s not the subject of the Pop Quiz:

For 1/2016th of a point counting towards your midterm grade, come up with a drink name for any of the 2016 Goat Rodeo Contenders. The name of the drink does not have to have the name of the contender if the subject matter is so closely attributed to him/her. (A Frothy Mix, for instance, tells us that it is a class full of warm Santorum. [Ew, gross!])

Number 2 lead pencils only in the comments.

The Saga of Downton Abbey in Peoria, Cont.

Aaron Schock has a turquoise belt in white-ing out his expense reports.

Aaron Schock has a turquoise belt in white-ing out his expense reports.

Poor, fashion-forward Aaron Schock (R-Lindsey Graham’s Closet) just cannot seem to get a break:

Rep. Aaron Schock used taxpayer money for private plane flight to Bears game

PEORIA — Rep. Aaron Schock, R-Ill., used taxpayer money to pay for a private plane to travel from Peoria to Chicago for the Bears-Vikings game on Nov. 16, the Chicago Sun-Times has learned.

And a Sun-Times examination of House disbursement records and campaign finance reports suggests that Schock used taxpayer money to help underwrite a September trip to New York, where a political action committee he controls spent $3,000 for Global Citizen Festival concert tickets.

The use of $20,855 in taxpayer money for the Chicago and New York trips will raise more legal and ethical issues for Schock.

The story about going to the game includes chartering a plane that seats six, three passengers are identified (Schock, the pilot, and his district director, Dayne LaHood, and three who are not ID’d, and there is no way to find out how much the tickets cost, though they range from $100 to nearly $500 apiece. And that’s before he went to NY for the Global Citizen-sponsored concert.

Maybe it’s time we start a pool on how long Aaron will remain in office, before he announces he wants to spend time with his family, er, belt collection?

Shorter Ezra Klein


People believe what they want to believe.

Klein has a chapter-length essay (I copied and pasted into Word to get a word count: 4,191 words) up on the first day of the news site VOX. Seriously. And it all comes down to my one short sentence. Six paragraphs in, there’s this:

“But Kahan and his team had an alternative hypothesis. Perhaps people aren’t held back by a lack of knowledge. After all, they don’t typically doubt the findings of oceanographers or the existence of other galaxies. Perhaps there are some kinds of debates where people don’t want to find the right answer so much as they want to win the argument. Perhaps humans reason for purposes other than finding the truth — purposes like increasing their standing in their community, or ensuring they don’t piss off the leaders of their tribe. If this hypothesis proved true, then a smarter, better-educated citizenry wouldn’t put an end to these disagreements. It would just mean the participants are better equipped to argue for their own side.”

I could have/should have stopped there. On the bright side, Vox is having a better first day that Nate Silver’s relaunched FiveThirtyEight.

(How Politics Makes Us Stupid Vox)

Who Let The Pigs Out?

Castrating pigs is like cutting spending? Make politicians squeal by castrating them? Metaphors are hard for me. And yes, this is real.

Before the anti-gay propaganda laws in Russia…

…there were safe-sex commercials:

True confession: I thought it was going to be a pun on how puck sounds like, well, you know, before it dawned on me that in Russian, that might not work. D’oh!

How Much Is That Judge In The Window?

Remember when Howard Dean had his 50 State Strategy? Remember when the G.W. Bush administration was stacking courts with their brand of justices? What happens when you combine the two concepts for nefarious reasons matched with massive amounts of anonymous loot?

In Michigan, where three of seven seats on the State Supreme Court were up for election, records were set for both spending and lack of accountability…Of the $15 million or so spent for TV ads in Michigan, 75 percent cannot be attributed to identifiable donors, notes Rich Robinson

You can thank Judicial Crisis Network for leading this multi-state charge. So, you know, you got that going for you. No one has connected the dots yet why so much money was dumped into a Michigan Supreme Court race. So spin the wheel and guess which high profile case will be coming down the pipeline where someone wants their brand of judge on the bench! Don’t fret, this game will be coming to a state near you soon so you can play at home.

Romneggedon, Micro Political Satire Series, Episode #2

Meet Mish, Freedom Fighter for the Womb Warrior Resistance played by the insanely talented, Julie Goldman

If we don’t vote for Obama, Romney will wage vaginal warfare on women. Women will no longer be able to get safe and legal abortions. Women will not be allowed to use birth control. Women will not get adequate, quality healthcare.

Romneggedon, Micro Political Satire Series, Episode #1

Imagine Romney being voted into office, a terrifying notion for inumberable reasons. For me, ROMNEGGEDON is my biggest fear, a post apocalyptic world where Romney’s been voted into office and waged vaginal warfare on women

The Feast of Saint Breitbart


I’m sure that’s how they see their beloved Saint Breitbart, pierced by the arrows of outrageous fortune, a martyr to the cause.

We’ve seen this show before

“We have gone as far as we feel we can go,” Hensarling said. “We put $250 billion of what is known as static revenue on the table, but only if we can bring down rates. We believe we can bring the top individual rate down to 28, 29, maybe at most 30 percent, bring the corporate rate down to the median of the EU, 25 percent. And on balance, we think that would be pro growth. But, listen, any penny of increased static revenue is a step in the wrong direction.–Super Committee co-chair Jeb Hensraling

I know. I’m shocked. Imagine that, Wingnuttia is not now, nor have they ever been negotiating in good faith.

So what remains to be seen is if 1) the Dims will continue to negotiate against themeselves (seems likely), or 2) if our notoriously hands-off President will insert himself into the process (seems unlikely, but you never know) or 3) if Obama will veto whatever hot mess this supercommittee is going to propose.

I’m told that the charm of Kabuki theater is that everyone already knows the stories, they just like to see them acted out.