Here’s Your Eggs With a Side of Stupid

klingon face-palm

The GOP has released an old-school video game. You know, which is absolutely, positively guaranteed to attract the Michael Keaton, conservative youth of today, you know, if they happened to be alive in the ’80s.

As a party, Republicans have a great opportunity to win the Senate majority and create positive change in Washington. This year’s Republican Senate candidates are the strongest in decades (if not ever), and we want to raise awareness in every possible way. With that in mind, we are having a bit of fun with our approach.

The game features a patriotic elephant named Giopi, who happens to be one of the GOP’s best volunteers. Giopi leads you through four difficult levels, with a focus on one goal: winning a Republican Senate majority.

Tell us more!

GOP Video Game

You’ll need to watch out for the job-destroying “Taxers.” You can jump on top of them to suppress their high taxes.

So you squash your opponent? Ooooh-kay.

You’ll also have to dodge the “Mudslingers.” To escape their false and empty rhetoric, jump on them and mute their misleading words.

So you squash your opponent? and so it goes. Who says that the GOP has no strategy: talk down to your target and jump on your opponent.

Here’s Your Saturday Bottomless Mug of Stupid, Sarah

Sweet Baby Jeebus: Mooselini opposes and supports putting troops in Iraq? And some poor schmuck is paying $10/mo for this sort of insight.

Once again, we must thank Grandpa Walnuts for bringing this dingbat to our nation’s attention, and suggesting that she should be one heartbeat away from the nuclear codes.

McCain-celebration

Thanks To The Orange Satan

Last night, I tweeted:

…and I fully meant to pick up the thread this morning, and promptly forgot. So thanks to The Orange Satan, they have given Brian Brown and NOM the ridicule that it so richly deserve.

But while the Daily Kos takes a long, long time to destroy this stupidity, I will say this: Brian Brown talking about chairs as a metaphor for marriage is very funny. Dude should be an interior decorator.

Here’s Your Eggs With a Side of Stupid

I cannot imagine that this will go over well, but if a tech gazillionaire wants to spend money paying signature gatherers to get something stupid on the ballot like splitting California up 6-ways, he (and it is always a he) can. Better than spending it on minimum wage signature gatherers to try to recall the $15/hr. minimum wage (which is really going on in Seattle).

Thank You Todd Akin

Former Republican candidate for Senate Todd Legitimat-Rape Akin is back, and he has retracted his whole apologia, just in time to have an impact on another election:

Two years after the Missouri Republican’s comments on rape, pregnancy and abortion doomed his campaign and fueled a “war on women” message that carried Democrats to victory in the Senate, one of the few regrets he mentions in a new book is the decision to air a campaign ad apologizing for his remarks.

“By asking the public at large for forgiveness,” Akin writes, “I was validating the willful misinterpretation of what I had said.”

And when it comes to his infamous line about rape and pregnancy, that “the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down,” he writes defiantly: “My comment about a woman’s body shutting the pregnancy down was directed to the impact of stress on fertilization. This is something fertility doctors debate and discuss,” Akin writes. “Doubt me? Google ‘stress and infertility,’ and you will find a library of research on the subject.”

You know what, Todd? If I Google ‘Jackalope’ I get whole library of research on that subject too. And pictures.

Here’s Your Eggs With a Side of Stupid

Warning: Racism ahead… and stupidity

For those of you who don’t follow CSPAN much, they have two phone lines (one for Wingnuttia and one for Dims), and the big tell is always when someone says that s/he is “an independent” that something untoward is about to happen. And remember all the Teabaggers in the beginning claiming to be Independents because they couldn’t say that they were Chimpy’s base: they burned their uniforms like the Germans at the end of WWII, and they put on their funny hats.

Here’s Your Cheese Sandwich With a Side of Stupid

Fox resident psychiatrist Keith Ablow (who may or may not have a license to practice) says that The World Cup is conspiracy to distract the masses from, you know, The Kenyan Usurper’s many impeachable offenses.

Product Liability

pig-in-a-drain

Remember those commercials where someone gets chocolate in someone else’s peanut butter? Whoopsie:

Saudi Arabia has withdrawn Cadbury chocolate bars from the market for tests to ensure the products do not contain traces of pig DNA, after the banned substance was detected in Malaysia.

Pork is strictly banned in Islam and traces of pig DNA were found during routine checks for non-halal substances in Malaysia, also prompting Indonesia to test Cadbury chocolate.

Nothing like having all of your products banned from entire countries and regions of the world to get your attention. Cadbury is currently owned by Kraft Foods, and I think we can speculate how pork DNA ended up in the chocolate.