News That Will Drive You To Drink

Hey Kids! Wanna Earn $2500 The Easy Way? All you have to do is rat-out any of the trans kids! E-Z, huh?

Sen. C.B. Embry Jr. (R) has introduced what he calls the Kentucky Student Privacy Act (SB 76), which would force all students to be identified by their “biological sex” as determined by their chromosomes and what was assigned to them according to their anatomy at birth, essentially erasing transgender students. The bill requires that bathrooms and locker rooms must be divided according to “biological sex,” and schools are forbidden from accommodating transgender students by allowing them access to any facility “designated for use by students of the opposite biological sex while students of the opposite biological sex are present or could be present.”

…Moreover, Embry wants to actually punish schools (like Atherton) that respect trans students’ identities. The bill provides that any student who encounters “a person of the opposite biological sex” in a bathroom or locker room shall have a legal cause of action if it’s because the school gave the trans student permission or didn’t explicitly prohibit the trans student from using that facility. The “aggrieved” student would be entitled to $2,500 from the offending school “for each instance” he or she encountered a trans student in a sex-divided facility in addition to monetary damages “for all psychological, emotional, and physical harm suffered” and attorney fees.

I cannot imagine what could possibly go wrong.

Your Saturday Bottomless Mug of Stupid

“That’s my question about these guys because if we know they were speaking unaccented French and they had, you know, ski masks on, do we even know what color they were. What the tone of their skin was. I mean what if they didn’t look like typical bad guys?’

–Fox News anchor Shannon Bream

Why are all the dogs barking, Shannon?

(TPM)

Your Bottomless Mimosa Of Stupid

Hebephrenic TeeVee Dinner heir and vanity press owner Tucker Carlson:

“But it’s such an emotional thing, it’s so wrong, immoral, unfair, that it’s almost hard not to point at some of the people who have been whipping race hatred in this country for the past couple of months, and saying they do bear some responsibility for this.”

He has no self-awareness, does he?

Your Bottomless Mug of Stupid

Our new pal Missouri State rep. Rick Brattin explains his bill requiring women to have written consent from a man before she can have an abortion, you know, even following a legitimate rape.

You see, his bill is about men’s rights:

“Right now the way it is the woman gets the full say and the father gets no say, and I think that that needs to change. With the women’s movement for equal rights, well it’s swung so far we have now taken away the man’s right and the say in their child’s life.”

Some Stupid For Your Coffee?

Petunia and Pals wins the Jug of Stupid again as Elisabeth Hasselbeck uses the hostage situation in Sydney to justify torture.

I Bet Rand Paul Feels Better Now That…

Jonah Doughy Pantload surreal

Doughy Pantload defends his insightful analysis that the cigarette tax is the root cause of Eric Garner’s death:

Reasonable people can disagree on whether racism was involved in the tragic death of Eric Garner. My own suspicion is that this misfortune could have transpired just as easily with a white man resisting arrest and/or a black cop choking him.

Because it is never about race. Do continue, Mr. Pantload.

But you know what reasonable people can’t dispute? New York’s cigarette taxes are partly to blame for Eric Garner’s death.

Really? I’m fascinated. Tell me more.

When you pass a law, you authorize law enforcement to enforce it. That’s actually why they’re called “law enforcement.” Google it.

That is some stunning insight Jonah. No wonder you get the big bucks, even as a legacy hire.

Some Fries With Your Stupid?

Sharpest Pencil

I’m not going to make this a live link, but all you need to know is that this headline is from the Stupidist Man on the Internet, The Gateway Pundit hisself, Jim Hoft:

Breaking: ISIS Drops iPhones After Apple CEO Tim Cook Opens Up About Being Gay

The Stupid… It BURNS!!!!

On the bright side, you’ll never hear, “Not tonight honey.”

Some Stupid For Your Coffee?

You know, most journalists would cut off the mic the moment that the interviewer admits that he edited out the subjects that did not agree with his message.

What is it with College Republicans and agitprop, and why does The Dumb One fall for it every time.