One Lump of Stupid or Two

The Sanctity of Marriage

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Texas State Senator Charles Perry, a Gawd-fearin’ Xristian, who is seeking to defeat the ‘mos who want to get married, finds himself in a bit of bind:

“An apparent stripper in Oklahoma has filed for a protective order against a Texas Republican state senator who likened what he called America’s “spiritual battle” to the Holocaust.

“The clerk in Creek County, Oklahoma, confirmed Tuesday that a request for an order had been issued against Sen. Charles Perry of Lubbock, Texas.

“The clerk said the document couldn’t be released since it hadn’t yet been served.”

Well at least his stripper was not a male.

News That Will Drive You To Drink

Convicted felon accuses Hillary Clinton of lawlessness, and yes, Eiron, the Goddess of Irony, laughed so hard she farted:

Documentarian fabulist, convicted felon, fired Y’all Qaeda business school dean, and would-be bigamist D’VORCE D’SPOUSA is currently serving his eight month sentence in a community confinement center and has another five years probation for violating campaign finance laws.

Eiron, the Goddess of Irony, laughed so hard she farted

The Gods Do Have A Sense of Humor

Bob Rolex McDonnell

Eiron, the Goddess of Irony, laughed so hard she farted:

Under law signed by McDonnell, convicted felons lose pensions

McDonnell will have his license to practice law removed once the Virginia State Bar receives notice of his felony convictions.

There is also chance that he could lose his pension, due to a law he signed into effect in 2011. The legislation states that retirement benefits are forfeited upon certain felony convictions.

This means that McDonnell could lose the pensions he earned while serving as an Army Reserves lieutenant colonel, Virginia Attorney General, and as a lawmaker in the House of Delegates.

Ironically when McDonnell served as governor, he restored the voting and other civil rights to more than 6,800 non-violent felons.

Eiron, the Goddess of Irony, laughed so hard she farted:

Oliver f***ing North—yes, that Oliver North—accuses The Kenyan Usurper of financing a terrorist organization, you know, with the Bergdhal release.

Thank Blog it wasn’t guns for hostages, or we might have killed off Eiron.

Today’s Irony Alert

NYPD refuses to divulge transparency guidelines handbook

The handbook that guides the New York City Police Department’s transparency policies for records requests, ultimately informing the public as to how the department operates, is being kept private based on certain statutes that “prohibit disclosure.”

“Invoking attorney-client privilege, the records access officer ruled that a handful of statutes ‘prohibit disclosure’ of freedom of information reference materials,” Musgrave wrote, describing a February 28 letter he received from NYPD Records Access Appeal Officer Jonathan David that cemented the rejection of a records request submitted two months earlier.

I think that one would get a 9.0 even from the Russian judges.

(RT via Scissorhead TexBetsy)

Hypocrisy, thy name is Tillerson

As ExxonMobil’s CEO, it’s Rex Tillerson’s job to promote the hydraulic fracturing enabling the recent oil and gas boom, and fight regulatory oversight. The oil company is the biggest natural gas producer in the U.S., relying on the controversial drilling technology to extract it.

The exception is when Tillerson’s $5 million property value might be harmed. Tillerson has joined a lawsuit that cites fracking’s consequences in order to block the construction of a 160-foot water tower next to his and his wife’s Texas home.

I’m not a fan of fraking, but I am a fan of our old pal Eiron, the Goddess of Irony. Every now and then, she gives a plutocrat a well-placed a kick in the junk.

(Think Progress)

Today’s Irony Alert

Irony alert

(Hat tip: Scissorhead Fran)

Bejeweled Former Nazi Bemoans Bejeweledness

Prada-slippers wearing Pope Benny-the-Rat, speaking in one of the most opulent and art-filled palaces the world has ever known, berate his followers to “see through the superficial glitter of this season.”

The material writes itself sometimes.


When the GOP creates their own reality, we pay for it.

The GOP’s favorite in-house Exocist and noted volcano monitor, professional Mr. Rogers’ Impersonator and Governor of Louisiana, Bobby “Bubba” Jindal has spent most of his career, and certainly all of his most public appearances to condemn big gubmint spending. He now finds himself in the awkward position of begging for more money from the big gubmint he despises so much to help his state with the monsterous oil pollution that is drifting their way.

One of LA’s senators, Diaperman is no stranger to this rock-and-a-hard-place, either, has stated:

Based on the latest briefings I have received and first hand view of the situation in the Gulf, I strongly believe BP is spread too thin in trying to both cap the well and remediate the damage along our coastline, producing an ineffective response. In my meetings with top Cabinet officials, I have urged all involved to allow BP to focus all of its efforts on building a dome and drilling a relief well at the source of the spill so that federal and state officials can focus on protecting and cleaning up the coast. Our prayers continue to go out to the families and co-workers of the victims of the explosion.

Now you can read that as Vitter thinks that the feds are better suited to do the big clean-up work and not BP (or maybe more cynically you can read that as he is trying to protect BP’s bottom line). But the point here is that those whiney titty babies, who would dismantle the federal government to go it alone, are now seeing that there is a purpose in government: to bail their asses out.

But it doesn’t end there: small-gubmint Republican senators, Richard Shelby and Jeff Sessions of Alabama and George LeMieux of Florida, flew over the gulf (on a U.S. government aircraft) with small-government Republican Rep. Jeff Miller (Fla.) and released this statement:

“We’re here to send the message that we’re going to do everything we can from a federal level to mitigate this,” Sessions said after the flight, “to protect the people and make sure when people are damaged that they’re made whole.”

Sen. Roger Wicker (R-Miss.) said he would “make sure the federal government is poised to assist in every way necessary.” His colleague Thad Cochran (R-Miss.) said he is making sure “the federal government is doing all it can” — even as he added his hope that “industry” would pay.

It is worth noting that the states that these gentlemen represent already get huge benefits from the Federal Government (source: the nonpartisan Tax Foundation):

  • Louisiana receives $1.78 in federal benefits for every $1 they pay in taxes.
  • Alabama receives $1.66 in federal benefits for every $1 they pay in taxes.
  • Mississippi recieves $2.02 in federal benefits for every $1 they pay in taxes.

And in general terms, we note this:

  • Deep Red states people received an average of $1.50 back from the federal government for every dollar they paid in federal taxes.
  • In moderately Republican states, the amount was $1.19.
  • In moderately Democratic states, people received on average of 99 cents in federal funds for each dollar they paid in taxes.
  • In Deep Blue states, people got back just 86 cents on the tax dollar.

So once again we are confronted with the way the GOP works: they create their own reality, and we pay for it.