News That Will Drive You To Drink

Mike (Gomer) and Jetherine (the Gomerette) Huckabee

Mike (Gomer) and Jetherine (the Gomerette) Huckabee

“I spoke with Kim Davis this morning to offer my prayers and support,” Huckabee said. “I let her know how proud I am of her for not abandoning her religious convictions and standing strong for religious liberty. She is showing more courage and humility than just about any federal office holder in Washington.

“Kim is asking the perfect question: ‘Under what law am I authorized to issue homosexual couples a marriage license?’ That simple question is giving many in Congress a civics lesson that they never got in grade school,” Huckabee added. “The Supreme Court cannot and did not make a law. They only made a ruling on a law. Congress makes the laws. Because Congress has made no law allowing for same sex marriage, Kim does not have the constitutional authority to issue a marriage license to homosexual couples.

“Kim is a person of great conviction,” Huckabee continued. “When people of conviction fight for what’s right they often pay a price, but if they don’t and we surrender, we will pay a far greater price for bowing to the false God of judicial supremacy. Government is not God. No man – and certainly no unelected lawyer – has the right to redefine the laws of nature or of nature’s God. Five unelected lawyers have abused their power by ruling in favor of a national right to same-sex marriage with no legal precedent and with nothing in our Constitution to back it up. They have violated American’s most fundamental right guaranteed by our Constitution – religious liberty.

“I stand with Kim Davis and every American of faith under attack by Washington elites who have nothing but disdain for us, our faith and the Constitution,” Huckabee concluded.

(Sunshine State News)

One Lump of Stupid or Two

The Sanctity of Marriage

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Texas State Senator Charles Perry, a Gawd-fearin’ Xristian, who is seeking to defeat the ‘mos who want to get married, finds himself in a bit of bind:

“An apparent stripper in Oklahoma has filed for a protective order against a Texas Republican state senator who likened what he called America’s “spiritual battle” to the Holocaust.

“The clerk in Creek County, Oklahoma, confirmed Tuesday that a request for an order had been issued against Sen. Charles Perry of Lubbock, Texas.

“The clerk said the document couldn’t be released since it hadn’t yet been served.”

Well at least his stripper was not a male.

News That Will Drive You To Drink

Convicted felon accuses Hillary Clinton of lawlessness, and yes, Eiron, the Goddess of Irony, laughed so hard she farted:

Documentarian fabulist, convicted felon, fired Y’all Qaeda business school dean, and would-be bigamist D’VORCE D’SPOUSA is currently serving his eight month sentence in a community confinement center and has another five years probation for violating campaign finance laws.

Eiron, the Goddess of Irony, laughed so hard she farted

The Gods Do Have A Sense of Humor

Bob Rolex McDonnell

Eiron, the Goddess of Irony, laughed so hard she farted:

Under law signed by McDonnell, convicted felons lose pensions

McDonnell will have his license to practice law removed once the Virginia State Bar receives notice of his felony convictions.

There is also chance that he could lose his pension, due to a law he signed into effect in 2011. The legislation states that retirement benefits are forfeited upon certain felony convictions.

This means that McDonnell could lose the pensions he earned while serving as an Army Reserves lieutenant colonel, Virginia Attorney General, and as a lawmaker in the House of Delegates.

Ironically when McDonnell served as governor, he restored the voting and other civil rights to more than 6,800 non-violent felons.

Eiron, the Goddess of Irony, laughed so hard she farted:

Oliver f***ing North—yes, that Oliver North—accuses The Kenyan Usurper of financing a terrorist organization, you know, with the Bergdhal release.

Thank Blog it wasn’t guns for hostages, or we might have killed off Eiron.

Today’s Irony Alert

NYPD refuses to divulge transparency guidelines handbook

The handbook that guides the New York City Police Department’s transparency policies for records requests, ultimately informing the public as to how the department operates, is being kept private based on certain statutes that “prohibit disclosure.”

“Invoking attorney-client privilege, the records access officer ruled that a handful of statutes ‘prohibit disclosure’ of freedom of information reference materials,” Musgrave wrote, describing a February 28 letter he received from NYPD Records Access Appeal Officer Jonathan David that cemented the rejection of a records request submitted two months earlier.

I think that one would get a 9.0 even from the Russian judges.

(RT via Scissorhead TexBetsy)

Hypocrisy, thy name is Tillerson

As ExxonMobil’s CEO, it’s Rex Tillerson’s job to promote the hydraulic fracturing enabling the recent oil and gas boom, and fight regulatory oversight. The oil company is the biggest natural gas producer in the U.S., relying on the controversial drilling technology to extract it.

The exception is when Tillerson’s $5 million property value might be harmed. Tillerson has joined a lawsuit that cites fracking’s consequences in order to block the construction of a 160-foot water tower next to his and his wife’s Texas home.

I’m not a fan of fraking, but I am a fan of our old pal Eiron, the Goddess of Irony. Every now and then, she gives a plutocrat a well-placed a kick in the junk.

(Think Progress)

Today’s Irony Alert

Irony alert

(Hat tip: Scissorhead Fran)

Bejeweled Former Nazi Bemoans Bejeweledness

Prada-slippers wearing Pope Benny-the-Rat, speaking in one of the most opulent and art-filled palaces the world has ever known, berate his followers to “see through the superficial glitter of this season.”

The material writes itself sometimes.