News That Will Drive You To Drink

Canadian-born latino and immigrant-hating southern white supremacist Senator Ted Cruz made an entirely predictable funny today at the CPAC Hatenanny:

And yes, that is Sean Innanity who provokes him for the soundbite.

Some Fries With Your Stupid?

Crazy Unkka Pat explains to us why regulating the internet as a utility is a bad thing.

But if you want the full-on chortle, knee-slapping analysis of why net neutrality is bad, Dead Breitbart’s home for wayward waterheads has the scoop: The UN will take it over!

One Lump of Stupid or Two

Todd Akin: Assrocket

Todd Akin: Assrocket

“I have not ruled anything out,” the former congressman and 2012 GOP Senate nominee [Todd Akin] told The Hill in a phone interview on Wednesday.

“I think there is a high level of dissatisfaction among conservatives, that they have to some degree been pushed out of the Republican Party,” he continued. “The sentiment is there. The Tea Party is skeptical and wants some fresh blood, not just the same establishment guys.”

The GOP’s body has a way of shutting that whole thing down, Todd. Assrocket.

Tour-de-Derp: The CPAC Schedule Is Out

It's CPAC time!

It’s CPAC time!

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As many of you know, the CPAC hatenanny is this weekend, and at last the schedule is available. Here are a few highlights:

  • Reclaiming the Dream: Millenials Look Toward Their Future

    Seriously: the panel features Senator Ben Sasse (b. 1972)

  • Common Core: Rotten To The Core

    On the panel: they are going to wheel out ancient hate goblin pessary Phyllis Schlafly

  • Hacking Facebook and Twitter

    Social Media: how does it work? What is this thing called “humor”?

  • Inventing to Nowhere, sponsored by Citizens United

    ‘Nuff said.

  • The Conservative Replacement to Obamacare

    They literally have scheduled 20 minutes for this.

  • A Salute to Veterans

    Featuring famous animal husbandry enthusiast Joni Ernst and Iran-Contra thrice-convicted felon Oliver North

Anyway, I cannot read much more because I’m gaffawing and my neighbors are looking to see if there is a clear escape route to the door. It’s a Tour-de-Derp and should provide much amusement this weekend.

Some Fries With Your Stupid?

teabagging for jeebus

Republicans in Tennessee grab the bull by the tail and bravely face the situation of creeping Sharia:

Attorney General and Reporter – As introduced, [SB1040] requires the attorney general and reporter to report to the department of justice that a no-go zone exists within political subdivisions of the state; requires the attorney general to take all necessary steps to eliminate the no-go zone to enforce compliance with state and federal law. – Amends TCA Title 38, Chapter 3.

But you know, Tennessee’s No-Go Zones law have nothing to do with Muslims. Don’t know how you got that impression.

Whoopsie!

And Wingnuttia’s coverage of that trade show on the electronic television device is over at Brother Pierce’s shebeen. Raw Story also has the event covered.

And that concludes our coverage of the trade show last night.

Where Are They Now? – Kirk Cameron Edition

Any chance to use this video is a chance I’ll take!

Rolling Stone tells us…

Former Growing Pains star Kirk Cameron’s overtly religious movie about putting the “Christ” back in “Christmas” was the Sam Smith of the Razzies; like Smith at the Grammys, Cameron and Saving Christmas took home awards in four of the six categories the film was nominated in, including wins for the prestigious Worst Picture and Worst Screenplay Golden Raspberries. Cameron was also awarded Worst Actor and Worst Screen Combo for him and his ego.

In addition to its four Razzies, Saving Christmas also owns the distinction of being the Worst Film Ever according to IMDb as well as a member of an elite club of movies that scored a perfect 0 percent on Rotten Tomatoes. Saving Christmas beat out Left Behind, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles reboot, The Legend of Hercules and Transformers: Age of Extinction for the Worst Picture honor.

If you are interested, the complete list of Razzie Winners is below

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