The MPS Magic Quadrant Guide to Theocracy vs. Democracy

Tengrain — and if you think I was going to put my usual signature somewhere in those four quadrants, you’re crazier than I am!

In my line of work, we get these sorts of “magic quadrant” analysis of where our products are compared to the competition. Some people find them useful.

UPDATE: According to Theocracy Watch, the theocratic governments of the world are Israel, Iran, Saudi Arabia, Vatican City.

MPS Blogging Against Theocracy 2014


As far as I know, there is no organized Blog Against Theocracy blogswarm this Easter. It is not from a lack of need, and I hope not from a lack of interest.

Longtime readers know that First Freedom First, which was a project of Americans United for Separation of Church and State, awarded Mock, Paper, Scissors the blog of the year for our fight against theocracy a few years ago.

jesus on facebook

For those of you who are wondering about theocracy, take a look at our nearly daily Happy Hour News Briefs - that is our own, little, daily Blog Against Theocracy. News That Will Drive You To Drink!


Here’s the deal: the war on women is a front in the war against democracy; the Theocrats are still blaming Eve for the Fall of Man, Original Sin, and this is why there is so much legislation trying to regulate what women can do with their bodies. This is why schools suggest modest dress for girls (so as to not distract boys — and never to rein in boorish behavior on the part of the boys). The Religious Right want to give payback to women for eating the damn apple.


The war on LGBT people is another front in the war against democracy. Though Jesus has literally nothing to say about gay people, the Religious Right does, and they put words in his mouth.


You can go down the list of issues after issue, usually in the Culture Wars (but not always), and if you think about what the Conservatives are fighting for, and it is for the USA to become a Christian Theocracy.

From One-L to Screwie Louie and most of the old Confederacy, there is a push to make the Bible the law of the land, and mostly it is the Old Testament part. Instead of the loving Jeebus, it is the punishing part.

We don’t always see it because it falls often into Identity Politics, but if you stand back you will see that these culture wars are related, and that these issues are really a battle for Theocracy.

Jeebus on a dino

It is not always obvious, but at the root of many of their pet issues from fighting Choice, to fighting Marriage Equality, to fighting Science, the conservatives are actively fighting for a Taliban-like form of government, with them in the Taliban role.

I don’t think that there is any greater threat to our democracy than what the theocrats have in mind.

I’m fond of noting that the very first Amendment to the Constitution was the Separation of Church and State (the Establishment Clause)–that’s how important the Founders felt about it. It’s not just that everyone can practice whatever faith they want without compunctions, but that everyone can be free FROM religion, too.


So here, on Easter Sunday, when many of us are celebrating Jesus, remember to celebrate the First Amendment, too. It is what allows you to practice your faith, and it is what allows you to reflect in peace without having someone shove their faith down your throat.

And so we begin… Blogging Against Theocracy

As is our tradtion at Mock, Paper, Scissors we begin our Blogging Against Theocracy festivities with a poem from Scissorhead XristiM, no longer with us. Fresh(er) posts will be below this one.

Dedicated to the Absolutely Sure of Absolutely Everything
From Someone Who Isn’t

(c) XristiM 1998-2006

Into their Lazarus mouths they pop
God like round peppermint lozenges,
and with their resurrected teeth
grind Him small,
roll the bits with their tongues,
flooding them with saliva and
the exhalations of digestion.
Then they amble forth
to perform the work for which
they have anointed themselves
and each other,
breathing the judgment of an angry God strongly
into the nostrils of others.

We can hear them at a distance,
from close enough can detect the stench
of self-righteousness.
And a wary eye can detect them in our midst,
with coats that show glossy fronts,
but on their backs,
hidden from their view
and from ours
unless we trouble ourselves to look,
reveal scraps and patches
like bandages over festering sores.

We may protest, draw back in distaste,
alarmed to have God thrust upon us
smelling so pungently of mint
and the charnel house,
but they are relentless in pursuit
of fleeing souls.
They paralyze us with their certainty
that God lives in their mouths.

For myself, I think the God has filed
His change of address:
He resides
not in the mouth, but in the heart.