Word Salad Served Literally Fresh

I debated putting up another Sarah Palin because I hate rewarding grifters. But when I listened to Mooselini’s free-verse Poetry Slam I stopped fighting it.

News That Will Drive You To Drink

We have not heard from our old pal Rev. Fishsticks yet this year, but thankfully he is here now to tell us that 1) gay people should not be allowed to hold public office and 2) that the First Amendment is being destroyed by gay people having equal rights, because somehow giving rights to the ‘mos is taking them away from Y’all Qaeda.

News That Will Drive You To Drink

Jeebus wept

Today’s news is a Theocrat’s Blue Plate Special:

“I don’t see what good it would be to take it out of the constitution. I don’t think you would have the support to remove that from our constitution at all,” DeLano said.

DeLano says he thinks the requirement reflects the culture and beliefs of the majority of Mississippians.

So what is this “it” of which Mississippi’s House Constitution chair Scott DeLano (R-Y’all Qaeda) speaks? Why, it is a provision that bans atheists from holding public office in that state:

Article 14, Section 265 of the state’s Constitution reads:
No person who denies the existence of a Supreme Being shall hold any office in this state.

It’s patently unconstitutional and completely unenforceable, but Jeebus wept anyway.

Sunday Brunch: Claim Chowder With Word Salad

SarahPalinShooting

I should have seen this one coming: Alaska’s part-time governor and full-time grifter Sarah Palin responds to criticism of posting Trig, the likable Palin® standing on the back of—and I’m not making this up—Jill Hadassah, the family dog.

PETA wrote:

It’s odd that anyone—let alone a mother—would find it appropriate to post such a thing, with no apparent sympathy for the dog in the photo. Then again, PETA, along with everyone else, is used to the hard-hearted, seeming obliviousness of this bizarrely callous woman, who actually thought it appropriate to be filmed while turkeys were being slaughtered right behind her in full view of the camera.

…And so Mooselini felt compelled to reply, and lay the blame squarly at the feet of: The Kenyan Usurper for some reason:

Dear PETA,
Chill. At least Trig didn’t eat the dog.

Or maybe it’s Ellen DeGeneres’s fault:

Hey, by the way, remember your “Woman of the Year”, Ellen DeGeneres? Did you get all wee-wee’d up when she posted this sweet picture? http://conservatives4palin.com/2015/01/peta-woman-year-posts-photo-child-standing-dog.html Hypocritical, much?

Naw, it’s the Kenyan’s fault:

Did you go as crazy when your heroic Man-of-Your-Lifetime, Barack Obama, revealed he actually enjoyed eating dead dog meat?

OK, I’m getting dizzy with her blaming everyone. The point still remains that instead of doing something a real mom would do, like stopping Trig, or helping him reach the counter, Mooselini photographed it, and posted it on her Book of Faces. Yesterday some of her fans were appalled, what do they say today?

Keith Christenson Wow , I just read you post and some responses. The liberal left comments are laced with hatred toward you. I didnt realize just how vile they are to you and your family! I support you Sarah Palin. You’re spot on!

Melinda Pierce Garcia Think your amazing. I’m sure the dog was in heaven and loves your children playfulness. Stay you! Stay strong

Randy Karnes Give ‘em hell, Sarah! And PLEASE run for President!!!!!

Donald Rhodes The only way you could make your loyal followers happier is to say that you will run for president.

You see, she came back swinging at her big, liberal detractors (PETA in this case). Y’all Qaeda loves to be the little victim fighting against the monolithic hippy under the bed. She (for some reason) also attacked the Kenyan, and for good measure attacked a godless lesbian, so it was all red meat for the mouthbreathers.

I think it is safe to say that this was move was planned from the Mooselini Outrage Factory. And her 15 minutes rolls-on.

UPDATE 1: PETA replies:

PETA simply believes that people shouldn’t step on dogs, and judging by the reaction that we’ve seen to Sarah Palin’s Instagram photo, we’re far from alone in that belief. Palin’s Facebook response shows us that she knows PETA about as well as she knows geography. Yes, we campaign against the Iditarod because when the dogs aren’t being driven—sometimes to death—most live chained or inside cages for their entire lives. And we’re a vegan organization, so we sit on pleather couches, wear stylish vegan kicks, and consider fish friends, not food. (Also, by the way, we just sent a case of vegan caviar to Vladimir Putin—and no, you can’t see his house from yours, Ms. Palin.) We have no reason to believe that the Palin companion animals aren’t ordinarily pampered, and we wish the entire family a peaceful and humane 2015.

The 3-Martini Stupid

Mooselini Bobblehead Doll

It’s from Alaska’s part-time governor and full-time grifter Sarah Palin of course. She posted on her powerful facebook page a quick story about how you can turn every block into a stepping stone, and then posted pictures of Trigg the Likable Palin® using the family dog as a step stool to reach the counter.

What is clear is that Mooselini realized what was happening and took pictures instead of stopping the kid from possibly injuring the dog.

And of course the Narcissis Borealis is now getting all the media attention that she craves, but even many of her Facebook friends are appalled.

Mooselini’s Christmas Homily (Word Salad)

Star of Mooselini

Star of Mooselini

Christmas is so extremely important. And not just for Christians — of course that’s the foundation of our faith, the birth of Christ — but also for those who just want to celebrate, to have a holiday that they can unite around, and today, unfortunately, people feel that they have to be so politically correct around that holiday, Christmas, that the joy of Christmas I think is diminishing, but it’s not too late, you can get that back, and we can keep working together to get the joy back into Christmas by putting Christ back into Christmas.

Buy her War on X-Mas book? Yes, I think that’s what it meant.

Some Stupid For Your Coffee?

Woman arrested in attack on Satanic Temple display

Officers arrested a Tallahassee woman who they say began to rip apart a Satanic Temple holiday display in the lobby of the Florida Capitol on Tuesday.

Susan Hemeryck, 54, told two Florida Department of Law Enforcement Capitol Police officers that she was “sorry and had to take down the Satanic display,” because it was “not right” before she attempted to tear it about 11:30 a.m.

Hemeryck then tried to remove the display. Officers stopped her and told her to put it back.

One of the officers explained to her that removing the display was in violation of the law. In response, Hemeryck said, she “could not take it anymore” and began to rip the display apart.

She was then escorted away and placed under arrest.

For the record, it was next to a Festivus Pole made of PBR cans.

Ohio: First Amendment Is For You, Too

Jeebus in his younger, happier days.

Jeebus enjoys the swing while on recess in Ohio.

What is it with Y’all Qaeda not understanding the First Amendment?

Under a new Ohio law, Gov. John Kasich (R) will require schools to partner with a religious group in order to receive state funding for mentoring programs.

OK, so we have Public Schools using Public Money for mentoring (which is good, though the amount seems sort of puny), but as part of the strings attached, the schools have to partner with a so-called Faith-Based Group (and a corporation, but it was not in TPM’s lede graf). And presumably if they do not partner with a religious organization, well, no mentoring for them!

Buddy Harris, a senior police analyst for the Ohio Department of Education, told the audience at a Thursday information session about the requirement.

“The faith-based organization is clearly at the heart of the vision of the governor,” he said after the session, according to the Plain Dealer.

“We do not forsee any proseletyzing happening between mentors and students,” Harris added. “That’s not really what we’re seeking.”

Indeed, the faith-based organization is in the vision of the Governor who is long-rumored to be a 2016 Goat Rodeo contender. What better way to get into Y’all Qaeda’s good graces and grab the spotlight away from scolds like Frothy Santorum and Uncle Sugar Mike Huckabee. I bet you before this is over, boy exorcist Bobby Jindal will have this scam down in Louisiana, too.

At first blush, you might say that because Kasich didn’t specify which religious denomination that the public schools must partner with, that somehow he got around the establishment clause of the First Amendment, and as Wonkette said/wished, perhaps the Satanists will step in with a faith-based org to be a partner, which would be pretty funny.

But where the whole thing falls apart and what will undoubtedly get this law thrown-out (if not thrown-up) will be that it forces religion onto the atheists, which is a well-known First Amendment violation.

Kasich, clearly not a bright man, is cunning. He will be able to talk about how the secular humanists kicked Sweet Baby Jeebus out of the schools, proclaim himself a victim (the Xristian Xrazies are so moist for victimhood), and have his bonafides proven.

And we all know that everything is better with Sweet Baby Jeebus on it.

Some Fries With Your Stupid?

The theocrats are the single greatest threat to our American Democracy. They would impose Biblical law on all of us faster than you can say Separation of Church and State:

He seems nice.

This man and his theocratic brethren, they are what all of us are up against. But look closely there, that is the face of hatred and it is carrying a cross and speaking from a pulpit. There is a reason I call then Y’all Qaeda.