Eiron, the Goddess of Irony, laughed so hard she farted

Word Salad, Tossed Fresh Daily

mooselini blingee

Alaska’s part-time governor and full-time grifter Sarah Palin has assembled from spare words she found around the turkey slaughter pen, another, um, essay?

Anyway, it seems that The Kenyan Usurper has insulted women by saying women should have better pay and that parents should have access to better daycare to keep their careers on track:

Sometimes, someone, usually mom, leaves the workplace to stay home with the kids, which then leaves her earning a lower wage for the rest of her life as a result. And that’s not a choice we want Americans to make.

So you can see how he was declaring a blood libel on Mooselini, who has 4 kids (or 5 kids, depending on who is counting) herself and 2 grandchildren (or 3 grandchildren, again depending on who is counting)!

And so now, without further ado, we bring her thesis statement:

Well that just takes the cake. Sure, Obama’s latest shot across the bow in his own “War on Women” is easily deflected by women like my friends and me testifying to the most precious, irreplaceable seasons of our lives when we were BLESSED to be “stay-at-home moms” (though I don’t remember any of us actually “staying home” in those busiest times of our children’s lives), but Friday’s jab deserves something right back nonetheless. On behalf of former and current stay-at-homers, including my girlfriends who still get together to bake cookies for the bake sale (see photos in my kitchen above), and volunteer to coach kids ball teams, and man the church’s food bank, and entertain latchkey kids, and all that other obnoxiously “housewifey” stuff, the President needs to be spanked.

I’d like to buy a vowel, please. The rest of the post is just as well-written and cogent.

McCain-celebration

And once again, we need to thank Grandpa Walnuts for bringing this moron to the nation’s attention and suggesting that she should be within one melanoma of the nuclear launch codes.

(Sarah Palin’s MyFace Place)

Well, Mooselini’s Not A Scientist, Fer Sure

Mooselini whatevs

“The global warming hysteria is to this century what eugenics was to the last. So much of it is junk science that will inevitably be discredited once the hysteria dies down and actual science prevails.”

–From Sarah Palin’s MyFace Place

Bristolnacht, Cont. The UnBristling #PalinBrawl

bristol-the-nun

Alaskastan’s part-time governor and full-time grifter Sarah Palin’s daughter Brisket® decides, in print, to tell her side of what happened at Bristolnacht:

First, the media said Trig was not really my mom’s kid.

Then, they claimed my mom said “I can see Russia from my house.”

Recently, they said my parents are giving a divorce.

And now, they’re saying my family started a “drunken brawl.”

Thanks for the reminders. Say, your mom promised at one point to produce Trigg’s birth certificate… oh well. SNL is not the media. Your mother was the one who hinted a divorce was coming. There is a Police report (a legal document that can be introduced as evidence in a court of law) that indicates YOU started a drunken brawl.

Our friend got knocked out from a cheap shot from behind. (His injury resulted in ten stitches, so it was really low.)

Why would anyone do this? Well, here’s a hint. The guy was on social media during this incident, tweeting, “about to get famous.”

When Willow saw all this happening she looked at the guy’s mom and said “get ahold of your son.”

But apparently the apple didn’t fall too far from the tree, because his mom pushed Willow. A grown woman pushed my little sister.

By this point, I’d already gotten into the car. But when Willow ran to me crying, telling me that some lady had pushed her down, I got out of the car to go talk to her. Any big sister would do this.

It drones on and on, play-by-play.

All of this comes a day after the audio was released from the police interview with a very drunken Bristol, so the timing is both serendipitous and perhaps damning, too. Methinks given the love that the Palins engender means that those alleged and rumored cell phone videos and audio recording are gonna come like a wave.

McCain-celebration

And once again, we need to thank Grandpa Walnuts for bringing this family of grifters and waterheads to our attention, and potentially one very old heartbeat away from the nuclear codes.

Bristolnacht, Cont. #PalinBrawl

bristol-the-naughty-nun

Our pal and Scissorhead M. Bouffant over at The Web Of Evil has the soundtrack of the interview with a drunken Brisket® Palin taken during the melée in Alaskastan.

NSFW Audio, so call around your co-workers and boss as she freely uses s***, f***, c***, and that’s just to describe herself.

Raw Story has a bit of the background including that the host was the one to call the cops, and that he considered pressing charges.

(Hat tip: Scissorhead Weird Dave)

Some Stupid for Your Coffee? Church and State Edition

Tax ‘em. They are doing political work and preaching from the pulpit, and yes: his show on the electronic TeeVee machine is indeed a pulpit.

#PalinBrawl The Hummer For The Bummer

Hillbilly Hummer

Could this be the stretch Hummer for Alaska’s part-time governor and full-time grifter Sarah Palin and her clan of fighting future reality show hosts?

(Hat tip: Scissorhead Jo6Pak and @SeattleLib65 on the electronic Twitter machine)