News That Will Drive You To Drink

Tenth-er News Today

Ancient hate goblin pessary Phyllis Schlafly, who crows loudly that she is a constitutional attorney, says that governors should refuse to enforce a Supreme Court Ruling if they rule in favor of letting the ‘mos getting married.

Mad Men

Listed hate group American Family Association has placed an ad in the WaPo (fair warning! PDF! Also fair warning: the link goes to One News Now, a Xristian Xrazie news site) to speak directly to the Supremes:

AFA is running a full-page ad (right) in The Washington Post on Tuesday directed at the U.S. Supreme Court, which will hear arguments on homosexual “marriage” in April. “As you deliberate on marriage,” reads the ad, “remember whose idea it was in the first place.”

Oh yeah, 10 pieces of silver and a goat for the girl.

“Will you bend what God designed merely to suit the desires of man, knowing that you do so at the expense of children, perhaps even civilization itself?”

OK, how about 15 pieces of silver if you throw in the other daughter and the son with the harelip?

Theocracy takes its way, picking and choosing according to whim. The same arguments were made for endorsing slavory, so it is really hard to take fire and brimstone seriously.

News That Will Drive You To Drink

Get Off The Cross, We Need The Wood

Pareidoliac demirep Sandy Rios, director of governmental affairs and daily radio host for the famous listed hate group the American Family Association tells Y’all Qaeda to prepare for martyrdom if The US Supreme Court legalizes marriage equality:

Now, Rios is not promising 72 virgins to have for sexy-time for all eternity like her fellow theocrats in Al Qaeda, but calling for Xristian Xrazies to martyr themselves because some people actually want to get hitched rather than live in sin seems chock full of nuts. No word on whether or not she advocates for explosive vests, but we’ll assume she would be in favor of whatever gets the job done.

Oklahoma We-Don’t-Serve-Your-Kind Law: An Update

-Buh-Bye Scott Walker: Dick Morris Says You're Gonna Win!

-Buh-Bye Bigots!

We’ve been saying all week that Oklahoma is having a banner week in the Crazee State Contest, and today we can report a moment of sanity. We expect normal Oklahoma processes to continue immediately, but in the meanwhile, we have this story… State Rep. Emily Virgin has introduced a bill that would require those Xristian Bidnesses who want to discriminate against anyone because of their special snowflake religious beliefs to post a notice saying so:

“Any person not wanting to participate in any of the activities set forth in subsection A of this section based on sexual orientation, gender identity or race of either party to the marriage shall post notice of such refusal in a manner clearly visible to the public in all places of business, including websites.” 

“The notice may refer to the person’s religious beliefs, but shall state specifically which couples the business does not serve by referring to a refusal based upon sexual orientation, gender identity or race.”

Shorter amendment: Come out of the closet, Bigots.

One Lump of Stupid or Two, Oklahoma?

OK Wedding Cake

OK Wedding Cake

Oklahoma has a simple solution to the problem of letting the ‘mos git hitched:

OKLAHOMA CITY — Oklahoma would stop issuing marriage licenses under legislation passed Tuesday afternoon by the Oklahoma House of Representatives.

House Bill 1125, by Rep. Todd Russ, R-Cordell, would instead require those officiating marriage ceremonies to file after-the-fact “certificates of marriage” with court clerks’ offices. Alternatively, couples could file affidavits of common law marriage.

Russ said his bill is intended to “protect” county court clerks who do not want to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples.

“This takes them out of the trap,” he said.

The brain trust in the state might want to look into House Bill 1125: it removes their Precioussssss one man and one woman clause.

Heh.

Oklahoma has had quite a week between this, Tom Cotton, Sen. Inhofe and the snowball, and the smooth song-styling sound of the SAEs, and it is only Wednesday.

Eiron, the Goddess of Irony, laughed so hard she farted

Bill Kristol does the Grand Slam

Y’all Qaeda does the Grand Slam

Coalition of African-American Pastors (CAAP) Honors Justice Roy Moore for His Principled Stand for Marriage

Coalition of African American Pastors Will Present Moore with the Inaugural “Letter from Birmingham Jail Award”

Letter From Birmingham Jail is a reference to Martin Luther King and his nonviolent resistance to the fierce racism in America of the 20th century, and one could argue that it continues on today. So you know, that’s exactly like Alabama’s Chief Justice Roy Moore, who is working fiendishly to deny LGBTQ people their civil rights.

Y’all Qaeda marches on.

We Don’t Serve Your Kind, NC Edition

Jeebus wept

It’s happening again as North Carolina proposes to let public servants not do their job for the amorphous reason of deeply held religious objections. So basically a magistrate (that’s Confederacy-ese for Judge/Justice of the Peace?) files an objection and for the next 6 months doesn’t perform any marriages at all without repercussions, and presumably keeps the job and paycheck.

I can hardly wait for the Baptists to not let Mormons marry, and you know it is coming.

“While the courts have taken steps to provide special rights to some, we must not ignore the constitutionally protected rights of others.”

–Republican Senate leader Phil Berger, who explains to us that special rights includes marriage equality.

(Raw Story)