Rev. Fishsticks Needs A Nap

The ‘mos are bringing slavery back to The Confederacy:

If Alexander Pope was alive today, he’d rework Dunciad with Rev. Fishsticks as Tibbald.

And Meanwhile, On the Midway…

dropped the soapRepublican Committee Quietly Rejects Anti-Gay Marriage Resolution

“The Republican National Committee’s resolutions committee quietly rejected a pair of resolutions critical of homosexuality Wednesday.

“The controversial resolutions dealing with sex education and same-sex marriage threatened to cast a shadow on the first GOP presidential debate Thursday in Cleveland, as the party looks toward expanding its base in the key swing state. According to a member of the committee, both failed to gain support to be recommended to the full 168-member party governing body on Friday.”

Don’t tell boy exorcist and noted volcano scholar Bobby Jindal or that frothy mix of lube and fecal matter Rick Santorum. This is their only issue.

The Grades Are Posted!

Noted unwed mother and foe of Marriage Equality and founder and abandoner of the National Organization for Marriage, the always delightful gamine Maggie Gallagher gives us her report card on the candidates as they fall into her narrow, theocratic spectrum on hating on the ‘mos.

Wedding Bell Blues, Maggie Gallagher

Wedding Bell Blues, Maggie Gallagher

“Unlike most report cards created by advocacy groups, our report card is not an evaluation of the candidates’ formal position or legislative record, but an analysis and report of how they responded to a major event unfolding in real time from the standpoint of those of us who care deeply about life, marriage and religious liberty. We cannot claim omniscience, but we can and do seek honesty and clarity.”

“We used a similar metric in evaluating GOP candidates responded to the Supreme Court decision finding a right to gay marriage. We looked for the candidate to respond in three ways:

  1. He or she would clearly and confidently explain that marriage, as the union of husband and wife, is not only “traditional,” it is rationally related to the welfare of children and the common good.
  2. He or she would clearly state that this Supreme Court decision is not the end of the debate, but as in Roe v. Wade, it is the beginning of a long cultural and moral argument, one with political ramifications. In other words, he or she would not accept (as the Left doesn’t accept when it disagrees with the Court on cases like Citizens United) that the 5-vote majority Supreme Court has the last word in a democracy. Any suggestion that the proper response is merely to say “this is the law of the land and we need to move on” is an automatic F, in other words.
  3. He or she would offer a specific legislative proposal that he or she could deliver on in the first 100 days of office to protect the civil rights of gay marriage dissenters. What could voters actually expect from the candidate if they give him or her their vote? We do not expect politicians to be magicians. But should the voters elect a Republican Congress and a Republican President, what can they expect to get in terms of concrete, practical protection?”

Today in Bigotry

Jeebus weeps

Jeebus weeps

Cannot stop laughing at the stupid in Alabama:

” A state Senate committee has approved a bill to take Alabama probate judges out of the wedding license business following the U.S Supreme Court ruling legalizing gay marriage.

“The Senate Finance and Taxation General Fund Committee on Monday approved the bill to do away with state-issued marriage licenses. Instead, spouses would file a signed marriage contract at probate offices.”

So, to protect Baby Jeebus from crying, the bigots are going to file paperwork for contracts instead of filing paperwork for marriage licenses.

The Evening Tweet

(Hat tip: Scissorhead If the Thunder…)

News That Will Drive You To Drink

Lookout, Jeebus! The goalpost looks like a  crucifix!

Lookout, Jeebus! The goalpost looks like a crucifix!

Hey guys, you know how the Xristian Xrazies are always saying that they love the sinner and hate the sin? Haha, I jest. Anyway, meet Houston physician and GOP anti-gay activist Steve Hotze, who wrote a letter to Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton, urging him to show some of that love to Texas’ LGBTQ community (emphasis mine):

“Greetings in the name of Christ our King!” Hotze wrote Paxton about two hours after the court ruled on June 26.

“Do what the Louisiana AG has done,” Hotze said in an email, urging Paxton to emulate that state’s Republican attorney general who said Louisiana didn’t have to comply because there was no specific line in the court ruling saying so.

“The illegitimate SCOTUS ruling does not name Texas, so fight those lousy bastards,” said Hotze, president of Conservative Republicans of Texas, a group influential in Harris County GOP primaries. “They hate God and want to let the Sodomites queer our country.”

Well bless his heart, he’s so full of Xristian Love!

The High-Cost of The Low Road

Jeebus weeps

Jeebus weeps

Hey guys, you know all of those unsuccessful challenges of Y’all Qaeda to try to keep the ‘mos unwed and in the closet? Someone’s gotta pay the lawyers!

(WXYZ) – The six lawyers who worked on the case against Michigan’s ban on same-sex marriage are asking for nearly $2 million from the state to cover some of their fees.

In all, the six attorneys – Carole Stanyar, Dana Nessel, Kenneth Mogill, Robert Sedler, Mary Bonauto and Vickie Henry – said the total calculation came to $1,927,450 for their fees. Every attorney charged $350 an hour, with three of them putting in over 1,000 hours of work each in the case.

Guess who’s gonna hafta pay?

DETROIT (AP) — Lawyers who won a historic legal battle to strike down Michigan’s ban on gay marriage are seeking nearly $2 million from the state.

Under federal law, there seems to be no dispute that lawyers for April DeBoer and Jayne Rowse are entitled to payment from taxpayers. Attorney General Bill Schuette vigorously opposed their challenge to Michigan’s 2004 ban on gay marriage, which was declared unconstitutional by the U.S. Supreme Court.

Nice work, fiscally-responsible conservatives, you know, letting the Xristian Xrazies burn state tax money.

Some Fries With Your Stupid?

He really tells Obama to listen to his follow Africans.

News That Will Drive You To Drink

The right to life ends at birth

The right to life ends at birth

Shorter Townhall: Gay Marriage = More Abortions

My geometry teach told me that a straight line was the shortest distance between two points. Maybe Ryan Anderson skipped class that day? Anyway, his very wordy proof is anything but linear.

Supply and demand relationship -> demand for abortions = breakdown in families -> Breakdown of families = marriage equality -> therefore marriage equality = increased demand for abortions.

QED, Bitchez!

One Lump of Stupid or Two, Congress?

We Don’t Serve Your Kind

Jeebus weeps

Blessed are the Bigots, for they shall never wear out their grim smile muscles.

Hey guys, remember dumb as a post Mike Pence’s brief, disastrous flirtation with Y’all Qaeda’s We Don’t Serve Your Kind legislation that resulted in cancelled conventions, loss of business expansion, etc., valued in the range of hundreds of millions of dollars?

The Republicans in Congress are looking to pass a similar law. “Leave no bad idea behind,” is the motto these days.

“Following the U.S. Supreme Court ruling in favor of same-sex marriage, Republicans in Congress who oppose gay nuptials are pushing for a religious freedom bill seen to enable anti-LGBT discrimination, but for the time being congressional leaders have no plans to move forward with the measure. The legislation, known as the First Amendment Defense Act, has the stated purpose of prohibiting the federal government from taking adverse action against individuals — defined broadly in the bill to include for-profit businesses — if they oppose same-sex marriage.”

Representatives Mike Lee and Paul Labrador had the bright idea:

“Individual Americans, of course, may differ in their views about the definition of marriage; they may differ in their views about how this decision should have been reached,” Lee is quoted as saying in the Washington Post at the news conference. “But I do think Americans are overwhelmingly united in their belief that religious freedom needs to be protected and that neither a person nor any group of people ought to be subject to government retaliation against based on their religious beliefs…That’s why we’re pushing this bill.”

The bill would:

  • allow a company to continue to contract with the federal government if it engages in discriminatory practices and cites opposition to same-sex marriage as the reason
  • gut Obama’s memorandum requiring hospitals receiving Medicare and Medicaid to grant visitation rights for same-sex couples
  • permit a federal employee to refuse to process tax returns, visa applications or Social Security if a same-sex couple’s paperwork appears on his or her desk

So tell me where in the Bible it says that being needlessly cruel is a good thing.