News That Will Drive You To Drink

Just to prep you for the onslaught of your relatives tomorrow, here’s Crazy Unkka Pat giving us a Thanksgiving homily: equal rights for the ‘mos is destroying this country!

Awaiting a Boycott

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Proctor and Gamble have announced their support of Marriage Equality:

For the first time in its history, Procter & Gamble is openly supporting same-sex marriage.

The Cincinnati-based consumer products giant says it embraced gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender employees for more than 20 years. Now, the company says same-sex marriage has become an important enough issue to its workers that it is taking a public stand.

All the usual suspects that call for boycotts of products, services, entertainment are sure to react as P&G is one of the largest household brands. We’ve long kidded that Y’all Qaeda was going to end up living in a mud hut wearing rags and today’s announcement brings that bit of snark closer to truth.

We’ll monitor the reaction today and update as needed.

Good Riddance, NOM

Maggie Gallagher

Our old pal, the unwed mother who founded the National Organization for Marriage (and then jettisoned in an escape pod after years of embarrassing herself) Maggie Gallagher must be in grieving as it becomes quite clear that her social engineering experiment and pity-party has failed. Marriage Equality has come to most of the United States, but it seems that NOM is no longer getting the donations that they require to keep the hate going:

According to analysis of the organization’s 2013 tax filings done by the Human Rights Campaign (HRC), NOM raised $5.1 million in 2013, dropping by over 50% since 2012. Just 2 donors accounted for more than half of the organization’s funding – further evidence that everyday Americans have little interest in furthering NOM’s extremist agenda. In addition, the NOM Education Fund also dropped by nearly $3.5 million in funding — a drop of almost 70% since the previous year. NOM ended the year more than $2.5 million in debt.

What makes this situation even more delicious is that NOM has been fighting to keep their finances secret, and the Human Rights Campaign filed a complaint with the IRS to force NOM to comply with the law. Federal law requires organizations to publicly release their 990s the same day an in-person request is made, and the HRC showed up at their offices TWICE demanding access to their 990s, which revealed their poor economic performance.

“If I were Brian Brown, I’d be worried that my two or three mega-donors are soon going to come to terms with the fact that they’d largely be better off flushing money down the toilet. Americans certainly aren’t buying what NOM is selling, and it’s only a matter of time before the trickle of money keeping the lights on at NOM HQ dries up.”

Y’all Qaeda’s Dilemma

(Daily Gazette) The Bride will wear white. With some red splatters? We’re only guessing.

We are not making this up: Charles Manson to wed.

It’s a traditional marriage: you know, one-celebrity-murderer/one-woman, just as Baby Jeebus intended.

According to CNN, the couple will not be able to consummate their marriage because lifers don’t get to have conjugal visits. Manson is 80 years old and Star, his bride-to-be is 26, so maybe sexytime wouldn’t have worked out anyway. As Jackie Mason once quipped, “If she dies, she dies.” Oops, maybe that’s not such a good joke?

As Y’all Qaeda tells us constantly, marriage is about the children. Allowing that heartthrob Manson to marry Star but not allowing him any hubba-hubba time to begat any children, California’s penal code is making a mockery of marriage!

I demand to see Matt Barber, Brian Brown, and all the other fetus-fondling god-botherers protesting.

Some Stupid For Your Coffee?

marybrownback.jpg

TOPEKA, Kan. (AP) — Gov. Sam Brownback isn’t giving up on defending the state’s gay-marriage ban despite a U.S. Supreme Court ruling clearing the way for same-sex marriages in his state.

The court on Wednesday denied the state’s request to prevent gay and lesbian couples from marrying while Kansas fights the issue in court.

“I’m going to do to gay dudes what I’m doing to the rest of Kansas,” Brownback did not say. “Err, let me rephrase that.”

Rhett or Ashleigh? (Cont.)

Scarlett: Sir, you are no gentleman. Rhett Butler: And you, Miss, are no lady.

Scarlett: Sir, you are no gentleman.
Rhett Butler: And you, Miss, are no lady.

Senatorette Huckleberry Closetcase is either squealing with joy, or just squealing as U.S. District Judge Richard Mark Gergel rules that seething hotbed of unbridled lust South Carolina’s ban on gay marriage violates same-sex couples’ rights to equal protection and due process under the Fourteenth Amendment of the U.S. Constitution.

Some Fries With Your Stupid?

Jim Schneider of Voice of Christian Youth America, who seems a bit long in the tooth to be the spokesperson of Youth of any sort, has been thinking about pedophilia:

“Once you change that which is unchangeable, there’s no limit to how far you can go… What about an adult who says, ‘I want to marry this underage child. It’s discriminatory — I love this child, this child loves me, why can we not be married, that’s discriminatory.’”

Methinks Jim’s been thinking about pedo a little too much, if you know what I mean and I think you do.

Also, too: The blink of an eye? I cracked up at the 20-year blink.

There’s Santorum On Your Radio (Ew, Gross!)

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That frothy mix of lube and fecal matter Rick Santorum believes that The Youte of Today would be down with hating on the ‘mos, if the Lavender Menace hadn’t silenced the Church:

“The arguments are being won among young people. We are losing in this particular area among young people not because we’re out there and competing, it’s because they have effectively silenced the church on a lot of those issues and young people don’t even know what the opposing view is on these issues.”

(Right Wing Watch)

It Must Run In Their Family

David Limbaugh, the baby brother of the blog’s old pal Junkie Limbaugh appears from time to time writing op-ed pieces that are just as tightly, intellectually cohesive as his blighted older brother’s rants. We assume that Rush got the looks in the family (shudder) and thus the media platform, and David is as good looking as his work is honest.

Case in point, David wrote a piece for World Nut Daily: Criminalizing Christian behavior: It’s here, which is of course an essay about Marriage Equality and the jack-booted gay thugs who are forcing Y’all Qaeda to marry the ‘mos, even though it makes Baby Jeebus weep:

It seems that with each passing month, this senseless tyranny advances. The latest is that two Christian ministers in Idaho, Donald and Evelyn Knapp, have allegedly been ordered to perform same-sex wedding ceremonies at their chapel or face fines or jail sentences.

Now it seems that the Knapps are both ministers (of some sort) and they run a for-profit place to be married across the street from the place where one goes to get a marriage license in Idaho. They call their place, The Hitching Post LLC, a chapel, but they do not call it a church. Presumably, they do not have a congregation, and they do not have the tax-exempt status of a church either. David doesn’t tell us.

Being good Xristians, they won’t let the ‘mos marry at their place, The Hitching Post LLC, and damn the luck, their for-profit bidness, The Hitching Post LLC, has to comply with the public accommodation laws of Idaho. Take it away, David!

According to a lawsuit filed by the Knapps, the city of Coeur d’Alene is “unconstitutionally coercing” them to perform these weddings at their Hitching Post Wedding Chapel in violation of their religious beliefs, their ordination vows and their consciences. City Ordinance Section 9.56 bars sexual orientation discrimination in public accommodations, which forces the Knapps to choose between betraying their religious convictions and following them and facing up to 180 days in jail and up to $1,000 in fines. According to their complaint, they arguably commit a separate and distinct misdemeanor each day they refuse to perform such ceremonies, with the potential criminal penalties piling up cumulatively.

Just like they would be in trouble if they refused their services to wed anyone else.

When the Pharisees asked Jesus whether it is lawful to divorce one’s wife for any cause, he replied, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’?” (Matthew 19:4-5). Jesus was quoting Genesis 1:27, lest there be any confusion that there is conflict between the testaments.

The point isn’t whether you or I believe this, though I do. It’s whether the Knapps believe it – and they do.

No, David, the point isn’t what is in their hearts, the point is what is in the law. I’ve met some racists in my time; they believe that they are right too, deep in their hearts.

Their attorneys’ complaint clearly states that they “are ordained Christian ministers who believe biblical marriage is good for society. Not only have they been happily married for 47 years, they have married roughly 35,000 couples and seen countless lives blessed through marriage. As ordained ministers, the Knapps believe God called them to promote the welfare of their community by uniting others in marriage. … Because their religious beliefs affect everything they do, the Knapps and Hitching Post, LLC only perform wedding ceremonies consistent with their religious beliefs.”

All of that is nice, David, but what about the law? Are they obeying it, yes or no?

Notice who the aggressors are here. Notice who is being intolerant. Why can’t same-sex couples who want to marry under the newly minted law find ministers who have no objection to the procedure? Are they seeking the vindication of their rights or trying to force their beliefs on other people to the point of compelling them to deny their own?

And why can’t people who have a business license obey the law? If we are talking hypothetical situations now, what if the Knapps turned down black couples, or Jews? What if the Jewish Deli down the street refused to sell their wares to goyim like you, David? Would you continue on down the street to deli after deli to get your bagel?

Some Stupid For Your Afternoon Tea?

kill-myself-neil-patrick-harris-How-I-Met-Your-Mother

“There was never a cow going around slobbering on another cow, sending a signal that I’m in love with this cow,” he said. “And when the bull got in the pasture, we didn’t have to give them a course in bullology or cowology. They had an inborn nature, they knew exactly and precisely what they needed to do to make sure that the Baity family had cows 20 years from now.”

–Berean Baptist Church Pastor Pastor Ron Baity, comparing LGBT people to cows.