There’s Gotta Be A Horse In Here Somewhere


The position of this blog is that the vast majority of Kenyan Usurper’s achievements really are the result of undoing the damage of Best Republican Preznint Ever Bill Clinton. From DADT, DOMA, to the repeal of the Glass-Steagall Act, and ending welfare as we know it, Obama has been the anti-Bill. And that’s a good thing.

So I’m not surprised, even a little, that there is no documentary evidence at all to support the claim that DOMA was a defensive measure to hold off something, well, worse. Simply put, that assertion made by Hillary Clinton to Rachel Maddow is pure spin and horse shit.

We knew at the time it was triangulation, and we know it today.

That said, I don’t blame Hillary for Bill’s record (sweet Jeebus, no!), but she should be defining her own position, not defending Bill’s.

News That Will Drive You To Drink

"Oh, gross," said the fish

“Oh, gross,” said the fish

Recently, we’ve all heard that our ol’ target pal, Paul Ryan, the zombie-eyed granny-starver famed in song and story, is likely to run to be the next Speaker of the House. But did you know that he is not a true conservatard?

Linda Harvey writing at BarbWire, the blog-like thingie of Matt Barber, the man who only thinks about hot, sweaty man-on-man sex with thighs like pistons that can pump all night tells us the breaking news:

“Is this a trick? It’s certainly not a treat. America may be handed a Speaker who will open the door for the “gay” lobby to achieve its fondest dream, even beyond marriage… And he apparently thinks people are born homosexual because he has “gay” friends.

You see, Linda Harvey discovered that ZEGS once supported ENDA… in 2007, so it is breaking news in 2015? Sure, why not? It’s BarbWire, it doesn’t have to be timely or accurate, it just has to be sensational and frighten the rubes.

And Linda Harvey specializes in that:

“The “Equality Act” seeks to revise the 1964 Civil Rights Act to add the categories of “sexual orientation,” “gender identity” and “sex,” with sex including even delusions of femininity and masculinity, not limited to actual biology… The House bill has 170 co-sponsors, with 39 in the Senate. All so far are Democrats and independents. Microsoft, Apple, Google and other corporations have pledged support for this anti-Christian, anti-American bill, so Republicans may start taking heat from Wall Street to back this unconstitutional power grab… This measure covers not just employment, but housing, public accommodations and education. Parents, that means public schools…And the Equality Act would open the door to proudly gender-bending people in our armed forces.”

And so there you have it: Paul Ryan is a ‘mo-loving RINO. BURN HIM!

Your 3-Martini Stupid is Served

BarbWire, the blog-like thingie of Matt Barber, the man who only thinks about hot, sweaty man-on-man sex with thighs like pistons that can pump all night, rewrites the kiddie’s story of Little Red Riding Hood to make it a ham-handed morality play about marriage equality. And because the readers of BarbWire are, shall we say, a little bit slow, the author gives us a pas de derp at the end to explain it to the mouth-breathing paste-eaters who might otherwise wonder why a children’s story is in their daily fish wrap:

“I would not do all the work for the reader here, but if it helps, in this fable of Little Red Riding Hood, the Grandmother is traditional marriage. The wolf is homosexual activism. Little Red Riding Hood is an unsuspecting public, and, in another way, children and their future. The basket of assorted goodies signifies the many blessings and joys of real marriage. The woodcutter is true religion’s opposition to so-called gay rights. His axe is state constitutional amendments to define marriage as one man and one woman. The five foolish judges are the U.S. Supreme Court justices who ruled to redefine marriage for the nation. The clever foxes are professionals who argue homosexuality is inherent, fixed, unalterable, and normal. The townspeople represent ever-changing public opinion.

“Now that you have the key, perhaps you should it read again.”

Now that you have a clue, maybe you should stop reading fables and join the real world? Naw.

Get Off The Cross, We Need The Wood (part infinity)

Jeebus weeps

Jeebus weeps

What is up with Kentucky? Why There?

“Casey County Clerk Casey Davis and Whitley County Clerk Kay Schwartz also stopped issuing marriage licenses because of their religious opposition to gay marriage.

“Now, Schwartz says she is granting licenses to “bride and groom” couples – and claims she never stopped issuing them – but will not provide the same services to same-sex couples.

“Schwartz was not interested in talking with us on camera about her office’s policies on issuing marriage licenses.

“Her deputies also refused to comment.

“Off camera, Schwartz told us she still refuses to issue licenses to same-sex couples.”

So far no same-sex couple has applied for a license so neither county is being sued. So this is a pre-emptive martyring? Yes.

One Lump of Stupid or Two, Mat Staver? UPDATED

Somewhere, Cardinal Dolan is smiling.

Somewhere, Cardinal Dolan is smiling.

The Vatican’s PR trip to America now in complete tatters, and multiple announcements proclaiming that his (secret) meeting with Kim Davis was not what it appeared to be, all we are left with is another he-said, she-said dialogue of the various theocracy marketing departments proclaiming victory!

The battle of the press releases over Gawd’s Own Filing Clerk Kim Davis continues!

“Neither Kim Davis nor Liberty Counsel ever said the meeting was an endorsement of her legal case,” the law firm’s founder, Mat Staver, said in a press release. “Rather, the meeting was a pastoral meeting to encourage Kim Davis in which Pope Francis thanked her for her courage and told her to ‘Stay strong.’ His words and actions support the universal human right to conscientious objection.”

…”There was no line of people before, near, or around Kim Davis,” Staver said in the press release. “Had Kim Davis been in a line of people or been seen by anyone outside of Vatican personnel, we would not have been able to keep her visit secret. Kim’s face is easily recognizable. When we walk through airports as large as LaGuardia, Philadelpia (sic), and Reagan, people recognize her and give her encouragement. This was a private meeting with no other people except for the Pope and select Vatican personnel.”

Interesting spin there, saying that the Pope was not endorsing her Liberty Counsel-funded law suit, just, you know, offering moral support for her position.

So I guess Mat Staver is calling Pope Frankie a liar? The Vatican releases their own statement:

“The Pope did not enter into the details of the situation of Mrs. Davis and his meeting with her should not be considered a form of support of her position in all of its particular and complex aspects,” [Vatican spokesman Federico Lombardi] said in a statement.

…“The only real audience granted by the Pope at the Nunciature (Vatican embassy) was with one of his former students and his family,” the statement said.

So who’s the real winner here? Cardinal Dolan. His greasy fingerprints are all over the rat f***ing here. Didn’t even need a ball-peen hammer to kneecap the Pope this time.

UPDATE 1: Brother Pierce at Esquire has the goods, agrees it was a rat-f***ing, but has a different perp. As Pierce is/was Catholic and knows a good deal more, I’d say his finger is on the pulse, so to speak, of the rat-f***er.

Some Anchovies With Your Stupid?

We Don’t Serve Your Kind

Jeebus weeps

Jeebus weeps

Hey guys, remember that time when that faltering Xristian Memories Pizza joint in Indiana preemptively announced that they would not cater any wedding receptions for the ‘mos and immediately became the beneficiaries of nearly a cool million Ameros? Pretty great grift, huh?

Well guess what? Another Kentucky county clerk, Casey Davis (no relationship to Gawd’s Own Filing Clerk Kim Davis), has decided he’s gonna cash in and become Gawd’s Other Filing Clerk:

Casey County clerk Casey Davis has been supportive of Kim Davis’ stance against the Supreme Court ruling.

But unlike Rowan County, no one has filed suit against Casey County.

So where’s the grift, you ask?

While Casey Davis has not had any requests from same sex couples in his county, he says he is fully prepared to say no.

“Y’all can send me non-sequential, unmarked, small bills t’ encourage mah righteous fight against them heathen ‘mos,” Davis did not say. “I’m waiting.”

(Hat tip: Scissorhead Roket)

The Morning Quote

Get off the cross, someone else needs the wood

They say in time you get the face you deserve. Kim Davis got Dick Cheney's.

They say in time you get the face you deserve. Kim Davis got Dick Cheney’s.

“If I resign I lose my voice. Why should I have to quit a job that I love, that I’m good at? I’ve been a county employee and served the public well for over 26 years before I got elected. It just comes back to, they can accommodate for all sorts of other issues, and we ask for one simple accommodation, and we cannot receive it.”

–Gawd’s Own Filing Clerk Kim Davis to Fox News’ Megyn Kelly.

The simple accommodation Davis asks for would require a special session of the Kentucky Legislature. Does anyone really believe that she will stop talking if she was accommodated?

If I were Judge Bunning (and thank Blog I’m not), I would order guards posted at the door to the county clerk’s office with orders to not let her enter. If you throw her in jail, she’s a martyr (again).

Some Fries With Your Stupid, Tony Perkins?

Grifters Gotta Grift

Kiss Jeebus on the lips, Tony

Kiss Jeebus on the lips, Tony

Noted grifter and Koro sufferer Tony Perkins, the head of the SPLC-desgnated hate group Family Research Council is trying to cash in on Kim Davis (again), but this time it is particularly high-strung if not high pitched email. You see, he’s telling his janissaries that they are next to be thrown in the slammer by The Kenyan Usurper (and by Hollywood for some reason, go figure that the movies had that power?) for being Xristians, so send him some sweet, sweet moolah:

…They have big plans for you. Who? The White House. Judges. Radical Left organizations.

What plans?

Ask Kim Davis. She’s a Christian like you, and she went to JAIL for her faith — a faith you and she share.

Consider that carefully. If “politically correct” government officials will put a Christian like Kim in jail for the faith we all SHARE — well, what plans do they have in store for YOU?

Depending on the circumstances, they’ll do whatever is necessary to drive Christianity from influence in America by indoctrinating your children or grandchildren . . . ruining your job or career . . . getting you to compromise your faith . . . go silent . . . shut up . . . affirm sexual immorality . . . or deny key parts of the Bible.

As you know, Kim is the head clerk for Rowan County, Kentucky. When the U.S. Supreme Court ignored the Constitution by inventing a “right” to same-sex marriage, Kim requested a simple religious accommodation so that a marriage license that violated her conscience would go out in some other way than under her authority. It was a reasonable request.

But a judge threw Kim in jail for six days as Hollywood and radical forces cheered. These forces aren’t interested in “fairness” or “equality.” They want to drive people of faith from public life. THAT IS THEIR PLAN.

And that is why I pray you will give now in response to the Matching Grant . . . help FRC achieve and even exceed our September 30 goal . . . and continue to expose and oppose their plans in the most influential sectors of society.

The White House, ACLU, LGBT organizations, liberal Hollywood stars, and “politically correct” corporations plan to:

  • Threaten your job or career if you try to live your faith openly at work.
  • Destroy your family business if you don’t affirm sexual immorality.
  • Attack your favorite Christian ministries if they don’t hire homosexuals, cross-dressers, or help provide for abortions.

FRC is working every day to stop them. Our team of dedicated staff members includes top policy experts, researchers, and communication specialists stationed strategically near the Capitol Building in Washington, D.C. But our most important team members are supporters like you.

FRC says that they have a $500,000 matching grant, you see, and if you rubes, er, true believers would just pony-up the dough, ol’ Tony could get some hookers and booze, er, um, pray for your salvation.

Santorum In The Morning (eww*, gross!)

It's Santorum, coming from behind!

It’s Santorum, coming from behind!

According to Frothy, Gawd’s Own Filing Clerk Kim Davis is exactly like a Columbine High shooting victim:

“Sixteen years ago this country was tremendously inspired by a young woman who faced a gunman in Columbine and was challenged about her faith and she refused to deny God. We saw her as a hero.”

“Today, someone who refuses to defy a judge’s unconstitutional verdict is ridiculed and criticized, chastised because she’s standing up and not denying her God and her faith. That is a huge difference in 16 years.”

“How many bakers, how many pastors, how many florists, how many pastors, how many clerks are we going to throw in jail?”

Sounds like the Council of Trent: “How many angels can dance on a pinhead, you dick?”

*(Fuckin’ autocorrect changed eww to Www)

The Afternoon Quote

teabagging for jeebus

So which law, exactly, authorizes Ms. Davis to issue marriage licenses to homosexual couples? Might the same un-law someday authorize her to issue marriage licenses between stuffed animals and humans? Or robots?

–Susan Samper Brown at The Christian Post