The Morning Quote

Time-with-Rubio

“There is no federal constitutional right to same sex marriage. There isn’t such a right. You have to have a ridiculous reading of the U.S. constitution to reach the conclusion that people have a right to marry someone of the same sex. There is no such constitutional right. Can a state decide to change their laws? Yes, but only through the political process…”

 “They (advocates of same sex marriage) want to stigmatize, they want to ostracize anyone who disagrees with them as haters.”

–Cuban-heritage fabulist Marco ‘Big Gulp’ Rubio to CBN NEWS/THE BRODY FILE

Rubio really wants to ensure that he never is invited to a same-sex wedding. Probably afraid of catching the bouquet.

Your Sunday Mimosa of Stupid

Get Off The Cross, Part Infinity

Jeebus in his younger, happier days.

Jeebus in his younger, happier days.

As we noted yesterday, Aaron and Melissa Klein started grifting for some of that sweet, sweet Hate Pizza dough that wingnuttia showered upon those grifters in Indiana. GoFundMe has shut down their funding page (we reported) because the Kleins actually violated the law. Anyway, they are not taking this setback lying down, so they took to the mighty pages of the Book of Faces to complain:

“Evidently Go fund me [sic] has shut down our Go fund me [sic] page and will not let us raise any money. Satan’s really at work but I know our God has a plan and wins in the end!”

Perhaps God’s plan is that you pay your fine and stop being bigots?

Have A Second Slice Of Cake

When your baker won't make a cake for your Big Gay Wedding...

When your baker won’t make a cake for your Big Gay Wedding…

Hey guys, remember that time when your baker performed your wedding ceremony? What? You don’t remember making your solemn oath to love, frost, and decorate with fondant roses etc., with your baker swearing you to eternal, um, bliss?

Anyway, it seems that that baker in Oregon who thinks that making a tasty cake with frosting is somehow or other participating in a Big Gay Wedding has lost her appeal:

“The lesbian couple turned away by a Gresham bakery that refused to make them a wedding cake for religious reasons should receive $135,000 in damages for their emotional suffering, a state hearings officer says.”

“Rachel Bowman-Cryer should collect $75,000 and her wife, Laurel Bowman-Cryer, $60,000 from the owners of Sweet Cakes by Melissa, an administrative law judge for the Oregon Bureau of Labor and Industries said in a proposed order released Friday, April 24.”

But wait! There’s more!

It seems that the Baker immediately decided to fund themselves with Sekrat Wingnut Pizza Magic, but ran afoul of GoFundMe rules (you cannot fund someone who broke the law and the law in Oregon says that you cannot discriminate against the ‘mos). That said, in a few short hours they raised more that $100,000 before the spigot was shut off:

“Late on Friday GoFundMe stopped the Sweet Cakes campaign. Via GoFundMe: “After careful review by our team, we have found the “Support Sweet Cakes By Melissa” campaign to be in violation of our Terms and Conditions. The money raised thus far will still be made available for withdrawal. While a different campaign was recently permitted for a pizzeria in Indiana, no laws were violated and the campaign remained live. However, the subjects of the “Support Sweet Cakes By Melissa” campaign have been formally charged by local authorities and found to be in violation of Oregon state law concerning discriminatory acts. Accordingly, the campaign has been disabled.”

Boo! So they raised nearly enough to pay the fine. And they are looking at starting another campaign to fund the rest.

The Afternoon Quote

Maggie Gallagher“Christianity in this country is going to enter a new phase where we are a hated minority group, and I think we had better be psychologically and spiritually prepared for that and be prepared to rebuild from the ruins of the collapse of civilization that we’re witnessing. At least one civilization is over with and what the next phase of American civilization will be is yet to be determined”

Maggie Gallagher, unwed mother and founder of the National Organization for Marriage, the ethics-challenged journalist hired by Chimpy to advocate for marriage, who never disclosed she was on the payroll.

(Right Wing Watch)

Logic

Oh, he didn't...

Oh, he didn’t…

I have not had my first cuppa coffee yet, and I’m already beating my head against my desk. Anyway, one of the amicus briefs for the Marriage Equality case tells us…

“In a nutshell: A reduction in the opposite-sex marriage rate means an increase in the percentage of women who are unmarried and who, according to all available data, have much higher abortion rates than married women. And based on past experience, institutionalizing same-sex marriage poses an enormous risk of reduced opposite-sex marriage rates.”

Let the ‘mos get hitched and all the skirts will be ‘borting babies. What fresh hell is this?

The “But I Didn’t Inhale” of the 2016 Goat Rodeo

Walker

Sweet Jeebus, Scott Walker, the wall-eyed git hired to enrich the Koch Brother’s fortune in the state of Wisconsin, is trying to split the baby:

Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker has attended a wedding reception for a gay couple, he said Sunday, though the potential 2016 contender still believes marriage should be between a man and a woman. “That’s certainly a personal issue. For a family member, Tonette and I and our family have already had a family member who’s had a reception. I haven’t been at a wedding,” Walker said when msnbc asked whether he would be willing to attend a gay wedding. “That’s true even though my position on marriage is still that it’s defined between a man and a woman, and I support the constitution of the state. But for someone I love, we’ve been at a reception.” The Wisconsin state constitution had banned gay marriage until a federal judge ruled the ban unconstitutional in 2014. Wisconsin newspapers reported that Walker attended a reception for his wife’s cousin, Shelli Marquardt, shortly thereafter. After a brief period, an appeal halted gay marriages in Wisconsin — but they resumed late last year when the Supreme Court rejected the appeal.

We’re guessing that he showed up without a present and sat at the free bar.

Some Fries With Your Stupid, Maggie Gallagher

Wedding Bell Blues

Maggie GallagherEven though no one asked her to attend a same-sex marriage, founder of the National Organization for Marriage and notorious unwed mother Maggie Gallagher declines the invitation. But then she gives the happy couple a present anyway:

“So I would sit down with my friend and tell them this:”

“…The problem for me in celebrating your gay wedding, as much as I love you, is that I would be witnessing and celebrating your attempt not only to commit yourself to a relationship that keeps you from God’s plan but, worse, I would be witnessing and celebrating your attempt to hold the man you love to a vow that he will avoid God’s plan. To vow oneself to sin is one thing, to try to hold someone you love to it — that’s not something I can celebrate.”

One Lump of Stupid or Two, Frothy?

Good news for the ‘mos: that frothy mix of lube and fecal matter Rick Santorum will not stain your wedding:

Honestly, who’d ask him?

I’m Calling BS

fart trumpetThe WaPo has a puff piece up on “Ryan T. Anderson, the conservative movement’s fresh-faced, millennial, Ivy League-educated spokesman against same-sex marriage.” And that is a direct quote.

If you read the article, The right finds a fresh voice on same-sex marriage, you’ll be treated to some embarrassing and lavish tongue-bathing, but also some amazingly façile arguments that anyone who has spent any time with Jesuits would understand: Marriage should not be extended to same-sex couples because the definition of marriage is open only to a man and a woman.

We used to call it the fencing-in strategy, which was essentially declaring a closed set and then not allowing any outside factors into the set. “If we all agree that God has a plan, then no matter what happens it is part of that plan.” But if we don’t agree with the basic premise, then the argument is shot to hell.

It works amazingly well at first blush, when the wunderkind says:

“Gays and lesbians undoubtedly have been discriminated against,” Anderson says. “But marriage is not part of that discrimination.”

You see, it cannot be discrimination because gay couples were never part of marriage to begin with; except that it always was discrimination, if you don’t agree with the basic premise.

The way this argument worked back in my day was usually with a little bit of a history lesson, almost always positioned as “let’s look at how we got to where we are today,” and if you agree or don’t add information into the premise, you might as well give up now. Because, when you object later, you will be told, “but we all agreed that..”

But then he does bring an new touch to the old technique:

“This is the question I will close with: If you do assume marriage equality of the same-sex couple, on what basis do you deny marriage equality for the same-sex throuple?”

Heads turn. People whisper. No one seems sure what a throuple is.

He explains, not for the first or last time that day, that a throuple is three same-sex people who might want to marry. The New York Post reported on one in Indonesia, he says. Likewise, he talks about the “wed-lease,” an idea he say was “floated” by The Washington Post. He later clarifies that it was an op-ed from a Florida lawyer who proposed, instead of “wedlock” meant to last forever, renewable five-year marriage contracts.

So after he has fenced everyone in with an argument based on defining everything by his own terms, he concludes by doing an O. Henry stunt supplying us with a surprise ending, introducing something outside the fence he so elaborately built.

It probably is good theater, but it is a cheap trick and not a good argument.