News That Will Drive You To Drink

FRC  Jeebus

FRC Jeebus

FRC’s Tony Perkins to Testify Before Senate Appropriations Subcommittee on ‘Protecting Religious Freedom Abroad’

As soon as the Y’all Qaeda finished their Isreal sedition, the Senate invited Tony Perkins, the head of a known hate group Family Research Council to testify before the Senate Appropriations Subcommittee on Wednesday morning.

Perkins claims that LGBT rights in the U.S. are fueling religious persecution worldwide and asserts that The Kenyan Usurper has done nothing to stop the oppression of Xristians because he secretly sympathizes with Islamic radicals. I’d say we should play a drinking game, but the meeting starts at 10AM Eastern, and 7AM is too early for me to get my drink on.

Your Saturday Bottomless Mug o’ Stupid

Death of the Media

Bill-O

Franklin Graham, weak seed of Billy, to History’s Greatest Reporter, Bill-O:

“I do know that [muslim infiltrators in the White House] are there. I’ve been told this by a number of people,” Graham responded. “I’m not saying that they’re sitting next to the President, whispering into his ear. But they are in the halls.”

“…and those number of people are hosts on Fox News,” Graham didn’t say.

Let The Crusades Begin!

chimpy-as-king

…and an idiot shall lead them:

You know, one might conclude that ISIS wants a Holy War declared, and also/too one might conclude that the brain trust at Fox News (the gelatinous mass known as Roger Ailes) is playing into their hands, you know, for cynical things like ratings (Rupert Murdoch is first and foremost a businessman).

News That Will Drive You To Drink

Boy exorcist and noted volcano scholar Bobby Jindal

Boy exorcist and noted volcano scholar Bobby Jindal

Bobby Jindal Defends The Muslim ‘No-Go Zone’ Myth On His State Website

Boy exorcist and famous volcano scholar Bobby Jindal is doubling-down on his already doubled-down claim of the existence Muslim No-Go Zones (in Europe) as he jostles for pole position with noted Theocrat Mike ‘Uncle Sugar’ Huckabee to become Y’all Qaeda’s favorite candidate in the 2016 Goat Rodeo by stirring up fears of a caliphate in the Confederacy.

Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal (R) has continued to defend his belief that debunked Muslim “no-go zones” actually exist in Europe, but now he’s using his official state website to do it.

Apparently Jindal believes that amassing a trove of links amounts to a preponderance of evidence proving the existence of the so-called “no-go zones” in Europe. The landing page of his website links to a page titled “Setting the Record Straight,” which compiles reports largely cribbed from a think tank linked to anti-Muslim activists.

It’s really great that the people of Louisiana have on their official website a debunked conspiracy theory that even Fox News had to apologize for promoting. What’s next, Bobby? Want to take on the moon landing?

What a poltroon.

The Sunday Quote

Rhymes with f***er

Rhymes with f***er

Putunia and Pals weekend B-Team (said it first, Charlie!) continues to impress with hebephrenic TeeVee Dinner heir and vanity press owner Tucker Carlson commenting on Y’all Qaeda’s victory over Duke University:

“There’s nothing inclusive about Duke,” he insisted. “Notice they’re not giving equal time to, say, evangelical pro-life messages. They’re not broadcasting those over the loudspeakers on the chapel. If you got in the middle of the Duke quad and read sections of the Bible that criticized homosexuality, you’d be dragged away by school security.”

“They’re not inclusive, they’re making a political statement about how they’re on the side of Muslims!”

(Crooks and Liars)

Your Three-Martini Stupid: #FoxNewsFacts

Boy exorcist and noted volcano scholar Bobby Jindal

Boy exorcist and noted volcano scholar Bobby Jindal

Bobby Jindal is going to the UK to give a speech, which includes the same interesting theory that got Fox News’ Steven Emerson of the Investigative Project on Terrorism laughed off of the national stage recently when he said that the city of Birmingham UK was essentially a caliphate: the Muslim No-Go Zones (which don’t exist, but Y’all Qaeda insists are real):

“In the West, non-assimilationist Muslims establish enclaves and carry out as much of Sharia law as they can without regard for the laws of the democratic countries which provided them a new home,” Jindal’s text reads. “It is startling to think that any country would allow, even unofficially, for a so called ‘no-go zone.’ The idea that a free country would allow for specific areas of its country to operate in an autonomous way that is not free and is in direct opposition to its laws is hard to fathom.”

So far, no one in Y’all Qaeda has been able to present a single location of these Muslim-controlled No-Go Zones. But you know, reality has a liberal bias. This should be a story we keep an eye on with Claim Chowder in mind to see how Jindal’s Foreign Policy credentials get burnished with this hot mess.

(USA Today)

Your Media in Action

Our old pal Rev. Fishsticks and renown eccentric hater Nancy Rios are concerned that Nancy Pelosi has duly appointed Rep. André Carson of Indiana to House Permanent Select Committee on Intelligence; Carson, who has held congressional office representing Indiana since 2008, is a Muslim, so he therefor must be in league with terrorists.

The Morning Quote

Demanding that other people do things to make you feel better about them is a dick move that only Y’all Qaeda would think is acceptable.

Hmmm, let’s try our hand at this: I demand of all Xristians that until they recognize and destroy their growing theocratic cancer they must be held responsible…