News That Will Drive You To Drink: Jade Helm Comes To Texas!

Because we love a good correction

Allen WestWhen Sharia comes to Walmart (and so does Allen West)

OMG, you guys! Allen West, Demon Mooselun Hunter, was Sharia’ed! In Texas! In a Walmart! Jade Helm 15!!1!1!1!!

Anyway, West believes that a walmart clerk didn’t sell booze because West thinks the clerk, just like The Kenyan Usurper is a musloom:

“There was a young man doing the checkout and another Walmart employee came over and put up a sign, “No alcohol products in this lane.” So being the inquisitive fella I am, I used my additional set of eyes — glasses — to see the young checkout man’s name. Let me just say it was NOT “Steve.”

My guess is that West sprang for those X-Ray glasses in the back of comic books, too. Word to West: I’ve met some Jews named Christian. Notice how West was not buying booze himself (a-hem) in his story of daring-do infiltrating the calphate of Texasstan’s Walmart…

“I pointed the sign out to Aubrey and her response was a simple question, how is it that this Muslim employee could refuse service to customers based on his religious beliefs, but Christians are being forced to participate in specific events contrary to their religious beliefs?”

And then there’s the inevitable correction to ruin his good time being a martyr:

“EDITOR’S UPDATE: We spoke to the Walmart store, and apparently employees under 21 years old are prohibited from selling cigarettes and alcohol.”

So… check out the URL before the post title was changed: http://allenbwest.com/2015/05/sharia-law-comes-to-walmart/

Two Notches for Pamela Geller

pammygramSteve M at No More Mister Nice Blog does a stellar job of reviewing what happened in Garland Texas and how it is playing out.

For those of you now catching the story, anti-Islam agent-provocateur Pam Geller set up an event that was ensured to get a negative reaction (a Muhammad Cartoon Contest, in Texas no less) and it got a negative reaction: two (allegedly muslim) gunmen (killed) and a security guard (injured) in an attack on the event. The 70 or so attendees at this free-speech hate-a-palooza were escorted by the police to a secure site after the attack, and sang God Bless America. It really was made to order for Geller.

We’ve covered Geller before, and I feel reluctant to comment now, but more from our mantra of not empowering stupid people. Yes, she has free-speech rights, but there’s little doubt in my mind and moral universe that blood is on her hands for this. She designed this event to enflame Muslims, does anyone doubt it? And if you read the post by Steve M (linked above) you’ll see how it is playing out in the Fox Industrial News Complex: Wingnuttia is now claiming ISIS is here.

Well-played, Geller, well played. But have the balls to own it, please.

News That Will Drive You To Drink

FRC  Jeebus

FRC Jeebus

FRC’s Tony Perkins to Testify Before Senate Appropriations Subcommittee on ‘Protecting Religious Freedom Abroad’

As soon as the Y’all Qaeda finished their Isreal sedition, the Senate invited Tony Perkins, the head of a known hate group Family Research Council to testify before the Senate Appropriations Subcommittee on Wednesday morning.

Perkins claims that LGBT rights in the U.S. are fueling religious persecution worldwide and asserts that The Kenyan Usurper has done nothing to stop the oppression of Xristians because he secretly sympathizes with Islamic radicals. I’d say we should play a drinking game, but the meeting starts at 10AM Eastern, and 7AM is too early for me to get my drink on.

Your Saturday Bottomless Mug o’ Stupid

Death of the Media

Bill-O

Franklin Graham, weak seed of Billy, to History’s Greatest Reporter, Bill-O:

“I do know that [muslim infiltrators in the White House] are there. I’ve been told this by a number of people,” Graham responded. “I’m not saying that they’re sitting next to the President, whispering into his ear. But they are in the halls.”

“…and those number of people are hosts on Fox News,” Graham didn’t say.

Let The Crusades Begin!

chimpy-as-king

…and an idiot shall lead them:

You know, one might conclude that ISIS wants a Holy War declared, and also/too one might conclude that the brain trust at Fox News (the gelatinous mass known as Roger Ailes) is playing into their hands, you know, for cynical things like ratings (Rupert Murdoch is first and foremost a businessman).

News That Will Drive You To Drink

Boy exorcist and noted volcano scholar Bobby Jindal

Boy exorcist and noted volcano scholar Bobby Jindal

Bobby Jindal Defends The Muslim ‘No-Go Zone’ Myth On His State Website

Boy exorcist and famous volcano scholar Bobby Jindal is doubling-down on his already doubled-down claim of the existence Muslim No-Go Zones (in Europe) as he jostles for pole position with noted Theocrat Mike ‘Uncle Sugar’ Huckabee to become Y’all Qaeda’s favorite candidate in the 2016 Goat Rodeo by stirring up fears of a caliphate in the Confederacy.

Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal (R) has continued to defend his belief that debunked Muslim “no-go zones” actually exist in Europe, but now he’s using his official state website to do it.

Apparently Jindal believes that amassing a trove of links amounts to a preponderance of evidence proving the existence of the so-called “no-go zones” in Europe. The landing page of his website links to a page titled “Setting the Record Straight,” which compiles reports largely cribbed from a think tank linked to anti-Muslim activists.

It’s really great that the people of Louisiana have on their official website a debunked conspiracy theory that even Fox News had to apologize for promoting. What’s next, Bobby? Want to take on the moon landing?

What a poltroon.

The Sunday Quote

Rhymes with f***er

Rhymes with f***er

Putunia and Pals weekend B-Team (said it first, Charlie!) continues to impress with hebephrenic TeeVee Dinner heir and vanity press owner Tucker Carlson commenting on Y’all Qaeda’s victory over Duke University:

“There’s nothing inclusive about Duke,” he insisted. “Notice they’re not giving equal time to, say, evangelical pro-life messages. They’re not broadcasting those over the loudspeakers on the chapel. If you got in the middle of the Duke quad and read sections of the Bible that criticized homosexuality, you’d be dragged away by school security.”

“They’re not inclusive, they’re making a political statement about how they’re on the side of Muslims!”

(Crooks and Liars)

Your Three-Martini Stupid: #FoxNewsFacts

Boy exorcist and noted volcano scholar Bobby Jindal

Boy exorcist and noted volcano scholar Bobby Jindal

Bobby Jindal is going to the UK to give a speech, which includes the same interesting theory that got Fox News’ Steven Emerson of the Investigative Project on Terrorism laughed off of the national stage recently when he said that the city of Birmingham UK was essentially a caliphate: the Muslim No-Go Zones (which don’t exist, but Y’all Qaeda insists are real):

“In the West, non-assimilationist Muslims establish enclaves and carry out as much of Sharia law as they can without regard for the laws of the democratic countries which provided them a new home,” Jindal’s text reads. “It is startling to think that any country would allow, even unofficially, for a so called ‘no-go zone.’ The idea that a free country would allow for specific areas of its country to operate in an autonomous way that is not free and is in direct opposition to its laws is hard to fathom.”

So far, no one in Y’all Qaeda has been able to present a single location of these Muslim-controlled No-Go Zones. But you know, reality has a liberal bias. This should be a story we keep an eye on with Claim Chowder in mind to see how Jindal’s Foreign Policy credentials get burnished with this hot mess.

(USA Today)