Here’s Your Eggs With a Side of Stupid

Courtesy of Cantaloupe Calves hisself, Rep. Steven King, the Pride of Iowa:

“This is a man-caused disaster, and the man that caused it is Barack Obama, with his DACA policies and his Morton memos, and the advertisement that has been such a huge magnet that have caused these families to give their daughters birth control pills and send them down a rape path all the way through Mexico, and it’s a death path on the death train.”

OK, that makes clear, lucid sense.

I can see why he chills with our ol’ pal One-L:

Far-away Eyes

The Morning Quote – Romance Edition

rick-santorum-busy-fist

“I simple say to the folks who have tried to change the marriage law to allow same-sex couples, they have taken it to the next logical step that you just talked about earlier. We’ve divorced marriage from childbearing, we’ve divorced marriage from any meaning beyond a romantic relationship.”

–That frothy mix of lube and fecal matter Rick Santorum speaking to ancient hate goblin Phyllis Schlafly who blames marriage equality for unwed and single mothers. Isn’t it romantic?

Here’s Your Cheese Sandwich With a Side of Stupid

bachmann

“Now President Obama is trying to bring all of those foreign nationals, those illegal aliens to the country and he has said that he will put them in the foster care system. That’s more kids that you can see how – we can’t imagine doing this, but if you have a hospital and they are going to get millions of dollars in government grants if they can conduct medical research on somebody, and a Ward of the state can’t say ‘no,’ a little kid can’t say ‘no’ if they’re a Ward of the state; so here you could have this institution getting millions of dollars from our government to do medical experimentation and a kid can’t even say ‘no.’ It’s sick”.

One-L has discovered that Josef Mengeles The Kenyan Usurper wants to conduct medical experiments on the immigrant children.

Falafel Bill Speaks!

“Look, the left is basically saying ‘harmless,’ okay, which I don’t agree with, I think you know that. Not a harmless substance, alright,” O’Reilly explained. “And, it’s blacks, you know, because in certain ghetto neighborhoods [smoking pot is] part of the culture. nine-year-old boys and girls are smoking it, and they don’t like that. They don’t want those kids to be targeted by the cops.”

–Black studies scholar Bill O’Reilly white’splains to us why the Demon Weed should not be legalized.

The Morning Quote

“The city has certain values that I don’t believe are in general agreement with having an atheist [radio] station, nor in general agreement with having a Nazi station or Ku Klux Klan station. I cannot accept or will not allow a group that is disparaging of another group to have a station here.”

–City of Warren Mayor MI Jim Fouts, breaking the First Amendment. Also/Too comparing atheists to KKK and Nazis.

Here’s Your Cheese Sandwich With a Side of Stupid

“It is my belief that any, any, any, any weapon that our government and law enforcement possesses ought to be allowed for individuals to possess in this country.”

“The Second Amendment is about us defending ourselves against potentially tyrannical government. You cannot defend yourself with a BB gun if your opponent has cannons and bazookas and missiles.”

–Xristian Xrazy talk radio host, ammosexual, and Georgia congressional candidate Jody Hice, who seems to think that the Government is comin’ for ya, so you better have tactical nukes.

The Morning Quote, GOP War-On-Women Edition

“Men do tend to talk about things on a much higher level. Many of my male colleagues, when they go to the House floor, you know, they’ve got some pie chart or graph behind them and they’re talking about trillions of dollars and how, you know, the debt is awful and, you know, we all agree with that.”

“We need our male colleagues to understand that if you can bring it down to a woman’s level and what everything that she is balancing in her life — that’s the way to go.”

–NC Rep. Renee Ellmers, a Republican woman, to Republican Study Committee.

Notice that she uses little words.