One Lump of Stupid or Two?

“Get over it! Get over it, [Bibi Netanyahu is] going to come here and speak to a joint session of Congress.”

–Rep. Jason Chaffetz, who doesn’t seem to know the difference between a joint session of Congress and a joint meeting of Congress.

(I recommend Karoli’s article at Crooks and Liars, Chaffetz is a piece of work and she hangs him on the wall.)

The Afternoon Quote, or Today in Sedition

The Sound of Machine Guns HT Skinny-D

Litigious pundit Larry Klayman, who has for years stained his sheets dreaming of overthrowing President Obama with a popular uprising or a military coup, takes to the mighty pages of World Nut Daily again to not-so-subtly call for someone to Second Amendment The Kenyan Usurper over immigration:

In short, justice will come only from our case on behalf of Sheriff Arpaio and the similar case of 25 states in Texas. If Obama and his leftist comrades are not legally stopped in the courtroom, the American people will be forced to use other means to end government tyranny.

(Hat tip: Scissorhead Skinny-D for the graphic that cracks me up everytime.)

Your Daily Gohmert

gohmert

“Thank God for Martin Luther King Jr. People in Egypt know about Dr. King. He wanted a peaceful demonstration and they were part of a peaceful demonstration. Unfortunately, radical Islam did not like being removed. They burned churches. They went after Christians. They went after Jews.”

Screwie Louie, whom we suppose just saw Selma and wrote his own ending?

The Morning Quote

“Week one, we had a speaker election that did not go as well as a lot of us would have liked. Week two, we got into a big fight over deporting children, something that a lot of us didn’t want to have a discussion about. Week three, we are now talking about rape and incest and reportable rapes and incest for minors. … I just can’t wait for week four.”

–Rep. Charlie Dent (R-PA)

“You’re dead to me, Charlie,” removed from office by double-digits of the PA voters, Frothy Santorum did not say.

News That Will Drive You To Drink

THE OBAMA LIFESTYLE, by Joseph Farah at World Nut Daily

Imagine how bad off America would be if Barack Obama had a work ethic…

“I spend most of my time watching ESPN in the morning,” said Obama. “I get so much politics; I don’t, you know, want to be inundated with a bunch of chatter about politics during the day. SportsCenter, when I work out in the morning, gives me a pretty good sense of what’s going on. I can’t sit down and watch an entire game, except maybe the Super Bowl or the NBA Finals. Or the World Series, I might be able to sit down and one day watch the whole game.”

Think about that statement.

No. 1, we already know Obama takes more vacations than any 50 families in America combined, right? And those outlandishly expensive vacations are paid for by you and me.

No. 2, we know he plays more golf than most pros. Do you think he pays for his golf outings? Of course not.

Now we know he spends most of his mornings watching ESPN!

The word Farah is searching for, but cannot use, is shiftless. I couldn’t make it past that point before I had to take a walk.

Mooselini’s Christmas Homily (Word Salad)

Star of Mooselini

Star of Mooselini

Christmas is so extremely important. And not just for Christians — of course that’s the foundation of our faith, the birth of Christ — but also for those who just want to celebrate, to have a holiday that they can unite around, and today, unfortunately, people feel that they have to be so politically correct around that holiday, Christmas, that the joy of Christmas I think is diminishing, but it’s not too late, you can get that back, and we can keep working together to get the joy back into Christmas by putting Christ back into Christmas.

Buy her War on X-Mas book? Yes, I think that’s what it meant.

The Morning Quote

“James Bond is a total concept put together by Ian Fleming. He was white and Scottish, period. That is who James Bond is.”

Junkie Limbaugh reacting to the possibility that non-white and not Scottish actor Idris Elba (Luther, The Wire) might star as 007.

We regret to inform Junkie that there has not been a white Scotsman playing Bond since Sean Connery.

We also want again to raise the question, why not a woman, a Jane Bond? This would also just flip little Rushbo’s sexist mind, but could be really a great new twist in the series. Years ago, I remember Sarah Michelle Geller (Buffy The Vampire Slayer) said that she wanted the part, and I thought that would have been cool.

So… who would you like to see as the next Bond?

News That Will Drive You To Drink

“This is the Democratic party’s new version of slavery to me. I am a believer in the American dream. But as long as you are told where you have to live, what you have to eat, what you have to wear, where you have to go to school, you will never know the true meaning of expression. And, the power and value of self achievement. You’ll never know what that is.”

–Fox News host (and former Clueless star) Stacey Dash responding to the news that 65 percent of US children live in households who receive public assistance in the form of food stamps, Medicaid, and the national school lunch program. If you were a good American, you should just hurry up and die instead of use resources that Stacey would use for other purposes.

I’ll Know Free Speech When I See It (Again and Again and Again…)

In 2012, L.A. voters passed an ordinance requiring that porn actors wear condoms as a matter of public health and safety. The Industry felt put upon and said that their Freedom of expression was being violated and brought suit. On Moday, the 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals rejected the industry’s argument that actors using condoms would interfere with a film’s fantasy element.

But, you know, the rest of the films are so natural. Cinema verité.

For the First Amendment argument to apply, the court ruled, there would have to be a great likelihood that a film’s audience would understand that intended message.

“Here, we agree with the district court that, whatever unique message plaintiffs might intend to convey by depicting condomless sex, it is unlikely that viewers of adult films will understand that message,” said Judge Susan P. Graber, writing for the panel’s majority.

And you thought Judges have no sense of humor?

(ABC News)

George Zimmerman Offers Us Advise

Just whip 'em out an measure 'em, boys.

Just whip ‘em out an measure ‘em, boys.

“Go to the range to practice, keep your guns in a safe location, and primarily, now that I know that I’m $2.5 million in debt, just in lawyers’ fees, I paid over $360,000 in hard costs to the state of Florida – just in, you know, copies, CDs, manuscripts, that kind of stuff – I would definitely invest in getting some type of self-defense insurance, and again, arming yourself with the knowledge of what you can do and what you should or shouldn’t do after the incident,” Zimmerman said.

So before you go out to slaughter some skittles-bearing blah kid, get some insurance. (Raw Story)