Bachmann: Arbeit macht frei – UPDATED

Hall - Bachmann


… Bachmann’s plan? Send those children to labor camps, which she warmly refers to as “Americanization Facilities,” with the goal of having them pay off their past, present, and future care expenses, while assimilating them into American culture. And in exchange for that labor, the children would be fast-tracked on a path to citizenship…”

“Well, we’d of course want these facilities to be ideal, you know, for the children to work and learn. They’d spend half of their day working, and the other half learning what every child should learn, and that’s English, you know, English and American history. And as soon as they learn English with some degree of fluency, they can attend local schools, maybe with a voucher program, or something like that. And then they could work when they aren’t in school.”

“I think this is a great way to bring businesses into the Texas and Arizona areas, and maybe other states struggling with low employment opportunities.”

As Karoli at Crooks and Liars says,

So let me see if I have this right. They’re sent to “Americanization camps” which I would call indoctrination facilities. Those little 4 and 5 year old kids are expected to work to earn their keep because businesses could pay them nothing. And as an added bonus, we’ll cook 50,000 or so little God-fearing Republicans in the process!

With compassion like that, who needs beatings?

UPDATE: Well, we got Rickrolled. It’s a satire. In my defense I will note that Mock, Paper, Scissors was not alone in falling for the satire, and some news sites with professional journalists drawing a salary fell victim too. And while it would be easy to say that the satire cleaved so close to One-L’s oeuvre that anyone would have fallen for it (and did), instead I apologize to Rep. Bachmann. As the big boy journalists say, We Regret The Error.

Rick Perry Declares War

perry deepthroats a dog

Texas Gov. Rick Perry (R) reportedly plans to dispatch the Texas National Guard to the U.S. border with Mexico, according to news reports.

Perry will announce his plans Monday to mobilize some 1,000 guardsmen to the Rio Grande Valley to increase security at the border, according to the Monitor, a south Texas newspaper. The newspaper quoted a state senator and an internal memo it obtained from a state official’s office.

…or maybe he’s just announcing his run for preznint?

The Afternoon Quote, GOP Rebranding Edition

“As soon as they raise their hand and say ‘I’m unlawfully present in the United States,’ we’re not going take your oath into the military, but we’re going to take your deposition and we have a bus for you to Tijuana.”

Rep. Steve King (R-IA). So once again, Reince, how’s that rebranding thingie working for ya?

GOP Immigration Reform “principles”

testing a wall

Talking Points has the much-awaited principles posted, and they are really a nice fig leaf for doing nothing.

  • There’s a certain amount of posturing against amnesty, which when translated from the Weasel to human english, means “don’t primary the incumbent.”
  • There’s the usual border security statement, oddly lacking a wall or fence this time. I guess someone actually looked at St. Ronnie’s speech about tearing down a wall? Hard to say.
  • There’s something that sounds vaguely like they want to put the mark of the beast (or at least microchip) on workers coming into the country.
  • There’s some stuff about how they want to keep the best and brightest here, you know, after they’ve earned a degree or fought in our military. Everyone else can pound dirt.

As predictable as it is, the largest paragraph is about how to punish people.

What is really interesting in all of their rhetoric, both in the document and in their soundbites is that this effort is born of expediency. They know that they are up against a demographic shift that will leave them unelectable if they do not give up their seemingly xenophobic (and dare we say racist) ways. But they never say the obvious thing: they want to do it because it is the right thing to do.

I question their sincerity.