How’s That Rebranding Workin’ Out, Reince?

Chris Christie

“At any moment, FedEx can tell you where that package is. It’s on the truck. It’s at the station. It’s on the airplane,” Mr. Christie told the crowd in Laconia, N.H. “Yet we let people come to this country with visas, and the minute they come in, we lose track of them.”

He added: “We need to have a system that tracks you from the moment you come in.” (NYTimes)

Wow. I cannot imagine that anyone would be offended at being compared to, you know, de-humanized cargo.

Of course, if Gov. Sammiches was a FedEx package their would be extra shipping charges.

Thank-you, thank-you! Try the veal!

Shorter Immigration Reform of Donald Trump:

Trumpenstein Monster from K-N-K
“GET OUT”

Short-fingered vulgarian Donald Trump has released the first of his policy papers, this one is on immigration, and it is a doozy. Here are the major bullet points; see if you can spot the unconstitutional proposals (as opposed to the INSANE proposals):

  • Make Mexico Pay For The Wall
  • Triple the number of ICE officers
  • Nationwide e-verify
  • Mandatory return of all criminal aliens
  • Detention—not catch-and-release
  • Defund sanctuary cities
  • Enhanced penalties for overstaying a visa
  • Cooperate with local gang task forces
  • End birthright citizenship
  • Increase prevailing wage for H-1Bs
  • Requirement to hire American workers first
  • End welfare abuse
  • Jobs program for inner city youth
  • Refugee program for American children
  • Immigration moderation

This is beyond xenophobic and racist; it is full-on insane. There is no way to actually deport EVERYONE he wants to get rid of, and you know what? Those kids born here ARE AMERICANS. How do you decide which AMERICAN kids to deport, and to where do you deport your own citizens who suddenly have no home country? It’s absolutely bug-fucking crazy.

This is just about hatred, there’s no way to do any of these things, but the racists in The Confederacy are going to love this. Eat it up with a spoon, they will.

A Trump Question For The 2016 Goat Rodeo Contenders

Short-fingered vulgarian Donald Trump

Short-fingered vulgarian Donald Trump

I hate making this obvious comment, but why is it the case that none of 2016 Goat Rodeo contenders have weighed in on Donald Trump’s incendiary statements about immigrants, in which he essentially called all hispanic immigrants criminals and rapists?

Trumps comments led to him being fired from NBC Universal, Univision has dropped his Miss Universe Pagent, Mexico is also pulling out of the pagent, and just this morning Macy*s severed their relationship with him.

So riddle me this Senators Cruz and Rubio: why no statement on Trump’s comments? ¡JEB! the Smartest Bush®, since you claim to be an honorary Latino, what about you?

Some Fries With Your Stupid, Ms. Schlafly?

You know why drag queens like big glasses?

You know why drag queens like big glasses?

Ancient hate goblin pessary Phyllis Schlafly has nothing for praise for Elsa, She-Wolf of the Nazis Ann Coulter’s newest book-like thingie, Adios America!

“Ann Coulter lives up to her reputation of issuing warnings and political comment that nobody else dares to say in her newest book, Adios, America! It’s aptly titled; she makes the case that it is Goodbye to the America we know and love if we don’t stop diluting our population with people who don’t love America, don’t respect our Constitution and laws, don’t even speak our language, and commit all sorts of unspeakable crimes.”

Where have I heard that phrase, diluting our population, it has a ring to it?

The Big Mouse Joins The Rat Race

Walt Disney left a trail.

Walt Disney left a trail.

The happiest place on earth got a lot happier for their shareholders as The Walt Disney Corporation fired their IT department in Lake Buena Vista Florida offices and replaced them with H-1B visa holders supplied through a subcontractor. (NYTimes)

Those of us from technology know this scam well already: H-1B visas are NOT supposed to replace American workers or impact salaries of American workers. They are supposed to come in with skills that American workers do not have.

But essentially it is a form of legal indentured servitude. They stay for a given period of time (after replacing an American worker) and when the time is up, they are supposed to apply for citizenship (sponsored by their employer) or return home. The second part of the scam is that the American Corporation that sponsored them typically says goodbye and the next H-1B visa holder comes over and does the same job at the same low wages.

We can say this is a problem with American Corporations (it is), and it is also a problem with the immigration system (it is). I suspect we have a better chance of fixing immigration than we will ever have with fixing American Corporations.

Just one more thing to think about with the 2016 Goat Rodeo.

One Lump of Stupid or Two, Gov. Walker?

"Where are the rabbits, George?"

“Tell me about the rabbits, George.”

From the Andrew Breitbart School of Journalism (no link for obvious reasons, emphasis mine) via Digby:

“Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker, a likely 2016 GOP presidential candidate, pledged to protect American workers from the economic effects, not only of illegal immigration but also of a massive increase in legal immigration.”

I’m not really sure of the policy that they are claiming Scott Walker, the wall-eyed git hired to enrich the Koch Brothers fortune, does any such thing, but to come out against legal immigration takes a special kind of stupid when your party is already at fourth and forty with hispanic voters. Is it already time to punt?

News That Will Drive You To Drink

Schlafly surreal

Ancient hate goblin pessary Phyllis Schlafly is on to us, my fellow Liberals!

Damn, the plan was so flawless, to “get the illegals to jimmy the election.” Who ratted us out?

Rake Stepping For Speed and Accuracy: Jeb Edition

jeb-moose-earsThe Smart Bush® continues to display the family talent for finding all the rakes in the room:

During a private event on Saturday in Iowa, the former Florida governor was asked, in Spanish, about President Barack Obama’s executive actions; in Spanish, he explained that he supported a path to citizenship for “DREAMers” but that it should be created by law rather than by decree, “because that’s like a Latin American dictator.”

Which of course begs the question of why Wingnuttia, which controls both houses of Congress doesn’t just do it, and the Latin Dictator remark seems sort of weird, but we digress. Anyway, NotChimpy was confronted by a DREAMER and impressively they had an exchange in what sounds like fluid Spanish. Asked later, what did he say in Spanish…

When reporters asked Bush later to clarify if he would repeal immigration-related executive actions such as Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals or Deferred Action for Parents of Americans and Lawful Permanent Residents before a law could be passed, the former Florida governor sidestepped the question.

“We need to change the law,” he said.

“That’s exactly what I said this afternoon,” Bush said. “We need to do this by law, not by executive order.”

But here is the video of his encounter in Spanish, and here is the translation:

DREAMER: Will it be your priority to end DACA and DAPA?

BUSH: End what?

DREAMER: End DACA and DAPA.

BUSH: DACA? What is…

DREAMER: You said you would stop the president’s overreach. Are you referring to DACA and DAPA?

BUSH: (inaudible) We need to pass it as a law. (inaudible)

DREAMER: OK, so you have plans to end DACA and DAPA? To do away with those programs?

BUSH: DACA is for… the program for the DREAMers. No. Let’s give them priority to be citizens. But by the law, not by decree, because that’s like a Latin American dictator.

DREAMER: Yes but will you take away the programs? So for a person like me, who qualifies for DACA, you are going to take away all our opportunities?

BUSH: No. what I am saying is, I wrote a book…

DREAMER: Yes, but recently you said you were going to do away with that program, DACA.

BUSH: Exactly, and pass a law so there’s permanence. What DACA does is it’s only for two years, no more. The problem continues after that.

THWACK – Let’s give them priority to be citizens. That’s gonna leave a mark.

Your 3-Martini Stupid

Novelty 2016 Goat Rodeo contender Ben Carson ominously suggests that The Kenyan Usurper is guilty of TREASON! because he won’t give in to Y’all Qaeda’s demands to deport 11 million people.

Some Fries With Your Stupid?

schlafley surreal

“He wants us to be one of the boys. He wants us to be just like everybody else. That’s why he’s letting all these people with Ebola in. There’s no reason why we should take on the African diseases. He should stop them when they get off the plane and not let them in. We don’t want some of these foreign ideas and diseases and people who don’t believe in self-government.”

–Ancient hate goblin pessary Phyllis Schlafly, explains to us what The Kenyan Usurper should do about immigration.