Your 3-Martini Stupid

Novelty 2016 Goat Rodeo contender Ben Carson ominously suggests that The Kenyan Usurper is guilty of TREASON! because he won’t give in to Y’all Qaeda’s demands to deport 11 million people.

Some Fries With Your Stupid?

schlafley surreal

“He wants us to be one of the boys. He wants us to be just like everybody else. That’s why he’s letting all these people with Ebola in. There’s no reason why we should take on the African diseases. He should stop them when they get off the plane and not let them in. We don’t want some of these foreign ideas and diseases and people who don’t believe in self-government.”

–Ancient hate goblin pessary Phyllis Schlafly, explains to us what The Kenyan Usurper should do about immigration.

Claim Chowder: Santorum-style (ew, gross!)


Hey guys, remember that time that frothy mix of lube and fecal matter Rick ‘Google Me’ Santorum told us that all of the jobs created since the year 2000 (all 6 million of ‘em) went to legal immigrants and no one else? (for old time’s sake, say it with me: “Me Neither!”) — Guess what? He was fibbing again!

Babs-the-Impaler Raised Polite Boys


This is almost a parody:

In a speech to the National Association of Auto Dealers, Bush tackled the question of undocumented immigrants already in this country head-on, but politely.

“First and foremost, we need to control our border,” Jeb declared. “A great nation needs to control its border, not just at the border, which is hugely important.”

Then he gets right to that thorny question of those who are in this country already. After informing the audience that 40 percent of undocumented immigrants are those who came into the country legally but whose visas have expired, he delivered the verdict.

“We ought to be able to figure out where they are and politely ask them to leave.”

“Be sure to shut the gate behind you,” NotChimpy didn’t say.

Some Fries With Your Stupid?


That frothy mix of lube and fecal matter, Rick Santorum has enough weapons-grade hate that he is now attacking legal immigrants.

Let me ask you a question. Since 2000 there have been a little over six million net new jobs created. What percentage of those net new jobs are held by people not born in this country? Half? Sixty?

All of them.

There are fewer native-born Americans working today than there was [sic] in 2000, in spite of 17 million more workers in the workforce. So when people tell me the problem is just illegal immigration, they’re wrong. They’re wrong…

We are almost at the same level of non-native born in this country they were at in 1920. And in 1920 they realized, wait a minute, it’s affecting our workers. Wages have stagnated, everybody knows that. Why? Part of the reason. Median income is going dowb. Why? Part of the reason is that we’re bringing floods of legal, not illegal, legal immigrants into the country.

One Lump of Stupid, or Two?


Canadian-born latino and immigrant-hating southern white supremacist Senator Ted Cruz wins the morning with his usual high pitched squealing and banal braying:

Cruz suggested Wednesday that if the department shuts down because the president vetoed a funding bill that included language halting his executive order, Obama would bear responsibility…

…When asked if it would be worth shutting down the Homeland Security Department in response to a veto, Cruz said, “that is an excellent question for you to ask the president.”

That dodge worked so well for him the last time he tried to deflect the blame for single-handedly shutting down the government, he though he’d try it again?

(The Hill)

Claim Chowder: Massive Anti-Immigration Rally In DC

Hey guys, you know how like the Teabaggers were going to hold a massive rally in DC to oppose The Kenyan Usurper’s Amnesty for Swarthy Immigrants and maybe finally get him to resign?

Guess what happened?

(Right Wing Watch)

That’s right: No one showed up. Well, maybe less than a dozen?

I’m Gonna Miss Her…


Our old pal One-L is in a league of her own:

Roma, Texas (CNN) — Michele Bachmann leapt out of a black SUV near a high cliff overlooking the Rio Grande, dashed to the edge of a boulder and scanned the river that divides her country from another.

It was a quiet Friday afternoon in this border town where immigrants routinely sneak across the river in inflatable rafts, climb a ravine and seek shelter in a local church. But at this moment, there was little more to see on the Mexican side than some fishermen casting rods and a few horses snacking near the river.

“Today it’s dead,” said Bachmann, a Republican congresswoman from Minnesota, sounding disappointed.

She blamed the stillness on the presence of a hand-held CNN camera.

So Elmer Fudd-like, One-L was gonna catch herself a wabbit, er, immigrant?

Bonus: if you follow the link and watch the video, you get to see IA’s own Steven King present the ultimate border fence.

The President’s Immigration Speech

No Amenty teabagger

You can watch the speech at 8PM eastern at the White House website.

And I’m sure you can watch the reaction to it on the networks, 100% of whom refused to carry it. Here’s a preview of the reaction:

Teabaggery Signs


Libety or Tranny