Let’s see immigrants are all illegal and they are sending money to terrorists. Good work, Sen. Vitter. You can change your diaper now.
Gavin Ellzey, the vice chairman of the Kansas Republican 3rd Congressional District Committee, advised on Twitter in early July that “offending Muslims is the duty of any civilized person.”
Ellzey added, “Especially with a .45.”
And so the usual apology:
“I’m not trying to offend anybody. I sure wouldn’t shoot anybody. I don’t even own a gun.”
Oh. OK. As long as you were not trying to offend anybody.
Director of unwatched documentaries, convicted felon, and would-be bigamist D’Vorce D’Spousa tells us that The Kenyan Usurper manufactured the border crisis because: Derp.
Let’s watch as Erika Andiola and Cesar Vargas (both are Dreamers) confront Steve King and Rand Paul at a fundraiser in Iowa:
Yes that is Sen. Aqua Buddha literally running away with his aid, while Steve King gets to meet some of the people he plans to kick out of the country.
“This is a part of the war on whites that’s being launched by the Democratic Party. And the way in which they’re launching this war is by claiming that whites hate everybody else.”
–Rep. Mo Brooks (R-Ala.), who is trying to point out that the Confederate Party’s stance on hispanic immigrants is actually hurting the Dims with white voters. Holy Projection, Batman! The War on Whites continues unabated since the Civil War in the minds of the southern white conservatives.
“To me, [the immigrant children are] breaking the law when they come here,” a hooded man identifying himself as Robert Jones said. “If we can’t turn them back, I think if we pop a couple of them off and leave the corpses laying on the border, maybe they’ll see that we’re serious about stopping immigration.”
Jones, who said he belonged to a group calling itself the “Loyal White Knights,” made the statement in a 10-minute interview with an associate flanking him in a remote field in North Carolina.
This is your constituency, Republicans. You’ve weaponized the stupid.
What a good idea! Let’s gas the immigrant children. That’s Jim Gilchrist, who is part of the so-called Minute Men Project (insert your Viagra joke here), by the way, who is so sympathetic to the would-be gasser.
Courtesy of Cantaloupe Calves hisself, Rep. Steven King, the Pride of Iowa:
“This is a man-caused disaster, and the man that caused it is Barack Obama, with his DACA policies and his Morton memos, and the advertisement that has been such a huge magnet that have caused these families to give their daughters birth control pills and send them down a rape path all the way through Mexico, and it’s a death path on the death train.”
OK, that makes clear, lucid sense.
I can see why he chills with our ol’ pal One-L:
Wow, friend of immigrants everywhere, ol’ Cantaloupe Calves hisself, Rep. Steve King sets a new land-speed record for changing positions on unpeaching The Kenyan Usurper!
… Bachmann’s plan? Send those children to labor camps, which she warmly refers to as “Americanization Facilities,” with the goal of having them pay off their past, present, and future care expenses, while assimilating them into American culture. And in exchange for that labor, the children would be fast-tracked on a path to citizenship…”
“Well, we’d of course want these facilities to be ideal, you know, for the children to work and learn. They’d spend half of their day working, and the other half learning what every child should learn, and that’s English, you know, English and American history. And as soon as they learn English with some degree of fluency, they can attend local schools, maybe with a voucher program, or something like that. And then they could work when they aren’t in school.”
“I think this is a great way to bring businesses into the Texas and Arizona areas, and maybe other states struggling with low employment opportunities.”
So let me see if I have this right. They’re sent to “Americanization camps” which I would call indoctrination facilities. Those little 4 and 5 year old kids are expected to work to earn their keep because businesses could pay them nothing. And as an added bonus, we’ll cook 50,000 or so little God-fearing Republicans in the process!
With compassion like that, who needs beatings?
UPDATE: Well, we got Rickrolled. It’s a satire. In my defense I will note that Mock, Paper, Scissors was not alone in falling for the satire, and some news sites with professional journalists drawing a salary fell victim too. And while it would be easy to say that the satire cleaved so close to One-L’s oeuvre that anyone would have fallen for it (and did), instead I apologize to Rep. Bachmann. As the big boy journalists say, We Regret The Error.