One Lump of Stupid or Two, Mat Staver? UPDATED

Somewhere, Cardinal Dolan is smiling.

Somewhere, Cardinal Dolan is smiling.

The Vatican’s PR trip to America now in complete tatters, and multiple announcements proclaiming that his (secret) meeting with Kim Davis was not what it appeared to be, all we are left with is another he-said, she-said dialogue of the various theocracy marketing departments proclaiming victory!

The battle of the press releases over Gawd’s Own Filing Clerk Kim Davis continues!

“Neither Kim Davis nor Liberty Counsel ever said the meeting was an endorsement of her legal case,” the law firm’s founder, Mat Staver, said in a press release. “Rather, the meeting was a pastoral meeting to encourage Kim Davis in which Pope Francis thanked her for her courage and told her to ‘Stay strong.’ His words and actions support the universal human right to conscientious objection.”

…”There was no line of people before, near, or around Kim Davis,” Staver said in the press release. “Had Kim Davis been in a line of people or been seen by anyone outside of Vatican personnel, we would not have been able to keep her visit secret. Kim’s face is easily recognizable. When we walk through airports as large as LaGuardia, Philadelpia (sic), and Reagan, people recognize her and give her encouragement. This was a private meeting with no other people except for the Pope and select Vatican personnel.”

Interesting spin there, saying that the Pope was not endorsing her Liberty Counsel-funded law suit, just, you know, offering moral support for her position.

So I guess Mat Staver is calling Pope Frankie a liar? The Vatican releases their own statement:

“The Pope did not enter into the details of the situation of Mrs. Davis and his meeting with her should not be considered a form of support of her position in all of its particular and complex aspects,” [Vatican spokesman Federico Lombardi] said in a statement.

…“The only real audience granted by the Pope at the Nunciature (Vatican embassy) was with one of his former students and his family,” the statement said.

So who’s the real winner here? Cardinal Dolan. His greasy fingerprints are all over the rat f***ing here. Didn’t even need a ball-peen hammer to kneecap the Pope this time.

UPDATE 1: Brother Pierce at Esquire has the goods, agrees it was a rat-f***ing, but has a different perp. As Pierce is/was Catholic and knows a good deal more, I’d say his finger is on the pulse, so to speak, of the rat-f***er.

Some Anchovies With Your Stupid?

We Don’t Serve Your Kind

Jeebus weeps

Jeebus weeps

Hey guys, remember that time when that faltering Xristian Memories Pizza joint in Indiana preemptively announced that they would not cater any wedding receptions for the ‘mos and immediately became the beneficiaries of nearly a cool million Ameros? Pretty great grift, huh?

Well guess what? Another Kentucky county clerk, Casey Davis (no relationship to Gawd’s Own Filing Clerk Kim Davis), has decided he’s gonna cash in and become Gawd’s Other Filing Clerk:

Casey County clerk Casey Davis has been supportive of Kim Davis’ stance against the Supreme Court ruling.

But unlike Rowan County, no one has filed suit against Casey County.

So where’s the grift, you ask?

While Casey Davis has not had any requests from same sex couples in his county, he says he is fully prepared to say no.

“Y’all can send me non-sequential, unmarked, small bills t’ encourage mah righteous fight against them heathen ‘mos,” Davis did not say. “I’m waiting.”

(Hat tip: Scissorhead Roket)

The Morning Quote

Get off the cross, someone else needs the wood

They say in time you get the face you deserve. Kim Davis got Dick Cheney's.

They say in time you get the face you deserve. Kim Davis got Dick Cheney’s.

“If I resign I lose my voice. Why should I have to quit a job that I love, that I’m good at? I’ve been a county employee and served the public well for over 26 years before I got elected. It just comes back to, they can accommodate for all sorts of other issues, and we ask for one simple accommodation, and we cannot receive it.”

–Gawd’s Own Filing Clerk Kim Davis to Fox News’ Megyn Kelly.

The simple accommodation Davis asks for would require a special session of the Kentucky Legislature. Does anyone really believe that she will stop talking if she was accommodated?

If I were Judge Bunning (and thank Blog I’m not), I would order guards posted at the door to the county clerk’s office with orders to not let her enter. If you throw her in jail, she’s a martyr (again).

Some Fries With Your Stupid, Tony Perkins?

Grifters Gotta Grift

Kiss Jeebus on the lips, Tony

Kiss Jeebus on the lips, Tony

Noted grifter and Koro sufferer Tony Perkins, the head of the SPLC-desgnated hate group Family Research Council is trying to cash in on Kim Davis (again), but this time it is particularly high-strung if not high pitched email. You see, he’s telling his janissaries that they are next to be thrown in the slammer by The Kenyan Usurper (and by Hollywood for some reason, go figure that the movies had that power?) for being Xristians, so send him some sweet, sweet moolah:

…They have big plans for you. Who? The White House. Judges. Radical Left organizations.

What plans?

Ask Kim Davis. She’s a Christian like you, and she went to JAIL for her faith — a faith you and she share.

Consider that carefully. If “politically correct” government officials will put a Christian like Kim in jail for the faith we all SHARE — well, what plans do they have in store for YOU?

Depending on the circumstances, they’ll do whatever is necessary to drive Christianity from influence in America by indoctrinating your children or grandchildren . . . ruining your job or career . . . getting you to compromise your faith . . . go silent . . . shut up . . . affirm sexual immorality . . . or deny key parts of the Bible.

As you know, Kim is the head clerk for Rowan County, Kentucky. When the U.S. Supreme Court ignored the Constitution by inventing a “right” to same-sex marriage, Kim requested a simple religious accommodation so that a marriage license that violated her conscience would go out in some other way than under her authority. It was a reasonable request.

But a judge threw Kim in jail for six days as Hollywood and radical forces cheered. These forces aren’t interested in “fairness” or “equality.” They want to drive people of faith from public life. THAT IS THEIR PLAN.

And that is why I pray you will give now in response to the Matching Grant . . . help FRC achieve and even exceed our September 30 goal . . . and continue to expose and oppose their plans in the most influential sectors of society.

The White House, ACLU, LGBT organizations, liberal Hollywood stars, and “politically correct” corporations plan to:

  • Threaten your job or career if you try to live your faith openly at work.
  • Destroy your family business if you don’t affirm sexual immorality.
  • Attack your favorite Christian ministries if they don’t hire homosexuals, cross-dressers, or help provide for abortions.

FRC is working every day to stop them. Our team of dedicated staff members includes top policy experts, researchers, and communication specialists stationed strategically near the Capitol Building in Washington, D.C. But our most important team members are supporters like you.

FRC says that they have a $500,000 matching grant, you see, and if you rubes, er, true believers would just pony-up the dough, ol’ Tony could get some hookers and booze, er, um, pray for your salvation.

Some Fries With Your Stupid?

He Seems Nice, cont.

So Theodore Shoebat declares a one-man war on women:

Oh, and he has declared jihad on LGBTQ people too:

There’s a lot of sexual anger there, but I suppose if you were his age and clearly never laid, maybe you would have anger issues, too? I cannot picture what dude does on date night, except maybe take the Cameron way out?

The Quotable Mike Huckabee

Hello, My Name Is Stupid

Hello, My Name Is Stupid

“It’s clear President Obama is more interested in appeasing America’s homosexuals than honoring America’s heroes,” the former Arkansas governor said in a statement released by his campaign. “Veterans suicide is out-of-control and military readiness is dangerously low, yet Obama is so obsessed with pandering to liberal interest groups he’s nominated an openly gay civilian to run the Army. Homosexuality is not a job qualification. The U.S. military is designed to keep Americans safe and complete combat missions, not conduct social experiments.”

You know, Gomer, being a heterosexual isn’t a job qualification, either.

(CNN Politics)

Santorum In The Morning (eww*, gross!)

It's Santorum, coming from behind!

It’s Santorum, coming from behind!

According to Frothy, Gawd’s Own Filing Clerk Kim Davis is exactly like a Columbine High shooting victim:

“Sixteen years ago this country was tremendously inspired by a young woman who faced a gunman in Columbine and was challenged about her faith and she refused to deny God. We saw her as a hero.”

“Today, someone who refuses to defy a judge’s unconstitutional verdict is ridiculed and criticized, chastised because she’s standing up and not denying her God and her faith. That is a huge difference in 16 years.”

“How many bakers, how many pastors, how many florists, how many pastors, how many clerks are we going to throw in jail?”

Sounds like the Council of Trent: “How many angels can dance on a pinhead, you dick?”

*(Fuckin’ autocorrect changed eww to Www)

The Afternoon Quote

teabagging for jeebus

So which law, exactly, authorizes Ms. Davis to issue marriage licenses to homosexual couples? Might the same un-law someday authorize her to issue marriage licenses between stuffed animals and humans? Or robots?

–Susan Samper Brown at The Christian Post

One Lump of Stupid or Two, Tony Perkins

Get off the cross, someone needs the wood

They say in time you get the face you deserve. Kim Davis got Dick Cheney's.

They say in time you get the face you deserve. Kim Davis got Dick Cheney’s.

Tony Perkins, the titular head (see what I did there?) of a Southern Poverty Law Center-designated hate group Family Research Council, announced that they were giving the “Cost of Discipleship Award” to Gawd’s Own Filing Clerk Kim Davis at the upcoming Values Voter Summit:

“We are pleased to announce that Kim Davis will be honored at this year’s Values Voter Summit. After meeting with her last week, I can tell you that Kim Davis wasn’t looking for this fight, but she is not running from it either. What militant secularists are almost certainly afraid of is what is coming to pass: courage is breeding courage. When other people might have cowered in fear, Kim took a stand. And today, millions of Americans stand with her and for the religious freedom upon which our nation was founded.”

“And we’re making sweet, sweet moolah hand over fist,” he did not add.

“Far from the media’s portrayal, Kim isn’t trying to impose her views on anyone, she is simply asking that her orthodox religious views be accommodated.”

“You know, except for the people who work for her,” Perkins did not say, “fuck their values, they have to do what Kim says.”


This is What Theocracy Looks Like

From the YouTube description (emphasis mine):

“Kim Davis will continue to defy court order Rowan County Clerk Kim Davis said she will continue to defy the Supreme Court order and will not authorize marriage licenses. Kim Davis: Same-sex marriage licenses will be issued without my name on them. kim Davis says she will take no action against deputy clerks who issue licenses, but says the forms will not be under her name of authority In a statement outside the Rowan County Courthouse, Davis told a crowd of supporters, protesters and media that she wants to continue to serve and faces an “impossible choice … her conscience or her freedom.” Rowan County Clerk Kim Davis is expected to return to work Monday amid speculation that she might risk more jail time to stop a deputy clerk in her office from issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples. Davis took several days off to spend with family following her high-profile release from the Carter County Detention Center last week. She has remained unclear about her intentions when she returns to face her office staff, releasing only a statement saying that “I love God, love people, and love my work.”

“I hope we will continue to respect these values, and that America remains a place where all three can live in harmony,” she said.”

So those marriages will not be legal, because they will not be authorized as required by Kentucky law. If this is not the very example of a theocracy in action, I’m not sure what would be.

There’s also Santorum on her side (eww, gross!) advising her to break the law: