Ca-Ching! News That Will Drive You To Drink

Grifters Gotta Grift

Wedding Bell Blues, Maggie Gallagher

Wedding Bell Blues, Maggie Gallagher

NOM, the failed social engineering project of famous unwed mother Maggie Gallagher to promote, ahem, marriage, is coming to the defense of Kentucky’s now infamous homophobe/bigot Kim Davis.

Well, sort of. You know, if you donate your hard earned Ameros, they will come to the aid of Kim Davis:

“When Kim was elected, there were no gay ‘marriages’ being conducted in Kentucky. But then the US Supreme Court upended the law, illegitimately redefining marriage in the law to strip it of its essential gender complementarity.

Let’s try to fix this: When DAVIS was elected, gay people were still being discriminated against in Kentucky. But then the US Supreme Court decided that the equal protection clause and the full-faith and reciprocity of the states (being married in one state is being married in all states) needed to be enforced, and they fixed that problem…

“This puts Kim Davis in a terrible spot because it’s she, personally, whose name is on a marriage license in Rowan County and whose signature attests that the couple is indeed married. The trouble is that two men cannot be married to each other, nor two women — regardless of what any court states.”

Um, Davis doesn’t perform the purely secular wedding, she files paperwork. I don’t think that Indiana Jones and the Lost Filing Cabinet was a thing. Get over yourselves, Xristian Xrazies: not everything is about you.

“…You see, there is no reason that Kim should be in the position she’s in. It’s pure politics, and it’s ugly, pure and simple. Why must gay activists use their power to try to punish, repress, and attack those who can never accept to a false definition of marriage?

It’s politics because Y’all Qaeda made it politics. And if you are trying to tell me that Xristians are powerless in America, you have to do better than that.

“The answer is because they think they are that powerful — that the entire nation must bow to their new orthodoxy or suffer the consequences.

Actually, the majority-conservative Supreme Court has ruled on marriage equality, and it is the law of the land. Secular laws apply to all Americans. Where were you in Civics class?

“Well, NOM will never bow to a lie, nor will we salute what is evil.

No, NOM having lost in the USA is now trying to find some power in the third world to oppress, marginalize and in some instance advocate to kill gay people, which is, quite bluntly, evil.

“Please help us fight back against this push to force every American to embrace the lie that is same-sex ‘marriage’. Your contribution of $25, $50, $100 or $250 or more will allow us to fight until the sham, outrageous ruling of the US Supreme Court is reversed. And with your support, we will work night and day to protect the rights of marriage supporters to be free of the kind of discrimination that Kim now faces.”

CA-CHING!

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Get Off The Cross, Someone Needs The Wood

liza-minnelli-gay-marriageLate yesterday in the ironically named Morehead Kentucky…

ROWAN COUNTY, Ky. (WKYT) – The U.S. Supreme Court has denied Rowan County Clerk Kim Davis’ request for a stay in a judge’s ruling, which orders her to issue marriage licenses.

Davis will have to choose whether to issue marriage licenses Tuesday, defying her Christian conviction, or continue defying a federal judge who could fine her or send her to jail.

Just now… Kim Davis has refused—for the fourth time—to issue a marriage license for David More and David Ermold who said:

“I feel like I’ve been humiliated on such a national level.”

There is a precedent for what should come next when defiant local bigots and officials refused to carry-out a Supreme Court ruling and it will be interesting to see what Kentucky does next. Send in the troops if you have to, but certainly Kim Davis needs to be removed from her office.

Rev. Fishsticks Needs A Nap

The ‘mos are bringing slavery back to The Confederacy:

If Alexander Pope was alive today, he’d rework Dunciad with Rev. Fishsticks as Tibbald.

And Meanwhile, On the Midway…

dropped the soapRepublican Committee Quietly Rejects Anti-Gay Marriage Resolution

“The Republican National Committee’s resolutions committee quietly rejected a pair of resolutions critical of homosexuality Wednesday.

“The controversial resolutions dealing with sex education and same-sex marriage threatened to cast a shadow on the first GOP presidential debate Thursday in Cleveland, as the party looks toward expanding its base in the key swing state. According to a member of the committee, both failed to gain support to be recommended to the full 168-member party governing body on Friday.”

Don’t tell boy exorcist and noted volcano scholar Bobby Jindal or that frothy mix of lube and fecal matter Rick Santorum. This is their only issue.

The Grades Are Posted!

Noted unwed mother and foe of Marriage Equality and founder and abandoner of the National Organization for Marriage, the always delightful gamine Maggie Gallagher gives us her report card on the candidates as they fall into her narrow, theocratic spectrum on hating on the ‘mos.

Wedding Bell Blues, Maggie Gallagher

Wedding Bell Blues, Maggie Gallagher

“Unlike most report cards created by advocacy groups, our report card is not an evaluation of the candidates’ formal position or legislative record, but an analysis and report of how they responded to a major event unfolding in real time from the standpoint of those of us who care deeply about life, marriage and religious liberty. We cannot claim omniscience, but we can and do seek honesty and clarity.”

“We used a similar metric in evaluating GOP candidates responded to the Supreme Court decision finding a right to gay marriage. We looked for the candidate to respond in three ways:

  1. He or she would clearly and confidently explain that marriage, as the union of husband and wife, is not only “traditional,” it is rationally related to the welfare of children and the common good.
  2. He or she would clearly state that this Supreme Court decision is not the end of the debate, but as in Roe v. Wade, it is the beginning of a long cultural and moral argument, one with political ramifications. In other words, he or she would not accept (as the Left doesn’t accept when it disagrees with the Court on cases like Citizens United) that the 5-vote majority Supreme Court has the last word in a democracy. Any suggestion that the proper response is merely to say “this is the law of the land and we need to move on” is an automatic F, in other words.
  3. He or she would offer a specific legislative proposal that he or she could deliver on in the first 100 days of office to protect the civil rights of gay marriage dissenters. What could voters actually expect from the candidate if they give him or her their vote? We do not expect politicians to be magicians. But should the voters elect a Republican Congress and a Republican President, what can they expect to get in terms of concrete, practical protection?”

Today in Bigotry

Jeebus weeps

Jeebus weeps

Cannot stop laughing at the stupid in Alabama:

” A state Senate committee has approved a bill to take Alabama probate judges out of the wedding license business following the U.S Supreme Court ruling legalizing gay marriage.

“The Senate Finance and Taxation General Fund Committee on Monday approved the bill to do away with state-issued marriage licenses. Instead, spouses would file a signed marriage contract at probate offices.”

So, to protect Baby Jeebus from crying, the bigots are going to file paperwork for contracts instead of filing paperwork for marriage licenses.

The Morning Claim Chowder

Gov. Pence: wooden, but not sharp.

Gov. Pence: wooden, but not sharp.

Hey guys, remember that time when termite infested blockhead Mike Pence said that Indiana didn’t need LGBTQ anti-discrimination laws because their economy was good (it isn’t)? Seems like the answer didn’t satisfy his bidness critics: Indiana convention’s CEO calls for broader LGBT protections

“The CEO of a massive gamers’ convention that threatened to leave Indiana earlier this year over a divisive religious objections law said Thursday that organizers are “shopping the show” to other cities and could relocate if lawmakers don’t expand protections for gays and lesbians.

“…Gen Con’s departure could mean a significant drop in revenue. The convention draws thousands of costumed damsels, dungeon masters and roll-play game aficionados to Indianapolis each year. Last year, more than 56,000 people visited, bringing in an estimated $67 million in revenue.”

The Gamers play to win, d’uh. Fifty-six million Ameros is a lot of money and there are forty-nine other states in play for their business. Well played, Pence.

The Evening Tweet

(Hat tip: Scissorhead If the Thunder…)

News That Will Drive You To Drink

Lookout, Jeebus! The goalpost looks like a  crucifix!

Lookout, Jeebus! The goalpost looks like a crucifix!

Hey guys, you know how the Xristian Xrazies are always saying that they love the sinner and hate the sin? Haha, I jest. Anyway, meet Houston physician and GOP anti-gay activist Steve Hotze, who wrote a letter to Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton, urging him to show some of that love to Texas’ LGBTQ community (emphasis mine):

“Greetings in the name of Christ our King!” Hotze wrote Paxton about two hours after the court ruled on June 26.

“Do what the Louisiana AG has done,” Hotze said in an email, urging Paxton to emulate that state’s Republican attorney general who said Louisiana didn’t have to comply because there was no specific line in the court ruling saying so.

“The illegitimate SCOTUS ruling does not name Texas, so fight those lousy bastards,” said Hotze, president of Conservative Republicans of Texas, a group influential in Harris County GOP primaries. “They hate God and want to let the Sodomites queer our country.”

Well bless his heart, he’s so full of Xristian Love!

Some Fries With Your Stupid, Unkka Pat?

Yeah, Pat, act like a man, and straightness will follow. I think Frankie Valli said it better, tho: