Eiron, the Goddess of Irony, laughed so hard she farted

Bill Kristol does the Grand Slam

Y’all Qaeda does the Grand Slam

Coalition of African-American Pastors (CAAP) Honors Justice Roy Moore for His Principled Stand for Marriage

Coalition of African American Pastors Will Present Moore with the Inaugural “Letter from Birmingham Jail Award”

Letter From Birmingham Jail is a reference to Martin Luther King and his nonviolent resistance to the fierce racism in America of the 20th century, and one could argue that it continues on today. So you know, that’s exactly like Alabama’s Chief Justice Roy Moore, who is working fiendishly to deny LGBTQ people their civil rights.

Y’all Qaeda marches on.

The Saga of Downton Abbey in Peoria, Cont.

Aaron Schock has a turquoise belt in white-ing out his expense reports.

Aaron Schock has a turquoise belt in white-ing out his expense reports.

Poor, fashion-forward Aaron Schock (R-Lindsey Graham’s Closet) just cannot seem to get a break:

Rep. Aaron Schock used taxpayer money for private plane flight to Bears game

PEORIA — Rep. Aaron Schock, R-Ill., used taxpayer money to pay for a private plane to travel from Peoria to Chicago for the Bears-Vikings game on Nov. 16, the Chicago Sun-Times has learned.

And a Sun-Times examination of House disbursement records and campaign finance reports suggests that Schock used taxpayer money to help underwrite a September trip to New York, where a political action committee he controls spent $3,000 for Global Citizen Festival concert tickets.

The use of $20,855 in taxpayer money for the Chicago and New York trips will raise more legal and ethical issues for Schock.

The story about going to the game includes chartering a plane that seats six, three passengers are identified (Schock, the pilot, and his district director, Dayne LaHood, and three who are not ID’d, and there is no way to find out how much the tickets cost, though they range from $100 to nearly $500 apiece. And that’s before he went to NY for the Global Citizen-sponsored concert.

Maybe it’s time we start a pool on how long Aaron will remain in office, before he announces he wants to spend time with his family, er, belt collection?

The Morning Quote:

Aaron Schock has a turquoise belt in white privilege.

Aaron Schock has a turquoise belt in white privilege.

“As he said he would, Congressman Schock has fulfilled his commitment to pay for all the renovation costs of the 18th Congressional District office in Washington,” said a statement released by Schock’s office Friday. “Even though office expenses are often covered by the Member Representational Allowance, the Congressman believed it appropriate to pay these costs himself as part of the office review process.”

“We regret getting caught,” Congressman Schock didn’t say. “Anyone know where I can get a Wank Band?

(USA Today)

We Don’t Serve Your Kind, NC Edition

Jeebus wept

It’s happening again as North Carolina proposes to let public servants not do their job for the amorphous reason of deeply held religious objections. So basically a magistrate (that’s Confederacy-ese for Judge/Justice of the Peace?) files an objection and for the next 6 months doesn’t perform any marriages at all without repercussions, and presumably keeps the job and paycheck.

I can hardly wait for the Baptists to not let Mormons marry, and you know it is coming.

“While the courts have taken steps to provide special rights to some, we must not ignore the constitutionally protected rights of others.”

–Republican Senate leader Phil Berger, who explains to us that special rights includes marriage equality.

(Raw Story)

The Morning Quote: Suit-up, Aaron, it’s show time!

Aaron Schock has a turquoise belt in white privilege.

Aaron Schock has a turquoise belt in white privilege.

Tiger Beat on the Potomac (thanks Charlie!) reports that Fashion-forward Rep. Aaron Schock (R- Lindsey Graham’s Closet) has lawyered-up (but doesn’t want to present it that way? Yes.):

“After questions were first raised in the press, Congressman Schock took the proactive step of assembling a team to review the compliance procedures in his official office, campaign and leadership PAC,” a spokesman said. “The purpose of the review is to identify any areas that need improvement and to assist with designing and implementing any changes. The congressman takes his compliance obligations seriously, which is why he took this proactive step to review these procedures.”

But his staff declined to answer more detailed questions about his activities.

Put what activities could there be?

According to the documents, Schock flew from Washington to London’s Heathrow Airport on June 16, 2011. He was joined by Shea Ledford, a longtime friend who is now on Schock’s payroll as a district special assistant.

Schock attended the Royal Ascot, a world-famous steeplechase, followed by drinks with then-U.S. Ambassador to England Louis Susman and his wife. He also was slated to visit Moss Bros. on Regent Street, one of the most famous men’s clothing stores in Europe, according to his schedule.

Schock also participated in a Patron Dinner at the posh members-only club Annabel’s and was invited to formal dinners at Windsor Castle and Buckingham Palace.
Schock missed two days of votes during the trip.

Well, traveling to see a longtime friend, being seen at Royal Ascot (like Miss Hepburn in My Fair Lady), cunning drinkies with a well-connected donor-class ambassador, and then some couture tailoring, followed by fab dinners with another, lesser queen all seem like legitimate expenses for a 31-year old trick Republican representative from Peoria.

Politico previously had an article detailing some of Schock’s trips and expenses that gives a good background in how to game the system for fun and profit.

Your Saturday Bottomless Mug of Stupid

Jeebus loves homophobes, Barronelle Stutzman.

We note with a jaundiced eye that Barronelle Stuzman, the latest (Washington state) florist to come afoul of the Lavender Menace has been found guilty of discrimination. But what makes this case so damning, is that she was offered to settle:

“Before this case began, my office wrote to Ms. Stutzman, asking her to comply with state law,” said [Washington state Attorney General Bob ] Ferguson. “Had she agreed to no longer discriminate, my office would not have filed suit, and Ms. Stutzman would not have paid any costs, fees or penalties.”

But of course we have the martyr complex. Say it with me, Scissorheads: “Get off the cross, we need the wood.”

So for your amusement, here’s the full stupid:

Attorney General Bob Ferguson 1125 Washington St. SE
P.O. Box 40100
Olympia, WA 98504
Re: State of Washington v. Arlene’s Flowers and Barronelle Stutzman

Dear Mr. Ferguson,
Thank you for reaching out and making an offer to settle your case against me.

As you may imagine, it has been mentally and emotionally exhausting to be at the center of this controversy for nearly two years. I never imagined that using my God-given talents and abilities, and doing what I love to do for over three decades, would become illegal. Our state would be a better place if we respected each other’s differences, and our leaders protected the freedom to have those differences. Since 2012, same-sex couples all over the state have been free to act on their beliefs about marriage, but because I follow the Bible’s teaching that marriage is the union of one man and one woman, I am no longer free to act on my beliefs.

Your offer reveals that you don’t really understand me or what this conflict is all about. It’s about freedom, not money. I certainly don’t relish the idea of losing my business, my home, and everything else that your lawsuit threatens to take from my family, but my freedom to honor God in doing what I do best is more important. Washington’s constitution guarantees us “freedom of conscience in all matters of religious sentiment.” I cannot sell that precious freedom. You are asking me to walk in the way of a well-known betrayer, one who sold something of infinite worth for 30 pieces of silver. That is something I will not do.

I pray that you reconsider your position. I kindly served Rob for nearly a decade and would gladly continue to do so. I truly want the best for my friend. I’ve also employed and served many members of the LGBT community, and I will continue to do so regardless of what happens with this case. You chose to attack my faith and pursue this not simply as a matter of law, but to threaten my very means of working, eating, and having a home. If you are serious about clarifying the law, then I urge you to drop your claims against my home, business, and other assets and pursue the legal claims through the appeal process. Thanks again for writing and I hope you will consider my offer.

Sincerely, Barronelle Stutzman
Phone: (TG – REDACTED, don’t want to tempt anyone to call her)

So… the plaintifs (the gay couple) orignally sued for the cost of gasoline to go find another florists ($7.97), the State offered a deal that would cost nothing, she lost the case and was fined $2000 + $1 court fee, and now she’s going win-lose with everything.

It’s like that joke about the guy sitting on his roof during a flood waiting for God to save him, not understanding that God sent the wood, the boat, and helicopter. But you know, 30 pieces of silver to have her pride left intact and 15 minutes of Fox Fame trumps it all.

  1. The words of the Preacher, the son of David, king in Jerusalem.
  2. Vanity of vanities, saith the Preacher, vanity of vanities; all is vanity.

The Adventures of Aaron Schock Continues!


When we last left our fashion-forward hero Aaron Schock, he had redecorated his fabulous office in fabulous Dowtown Abby drag (at the taxpayer’s expense), his spokesperson resigned after a stream of racist comments was discovered on social media, and an ethics investigation had started on his seemingly lightweight grifting of the rubes in his district, and then there’s his mystery ability to turn real-estate profit in a down market.

Previously, we learned that on staff chez Aaron, he has a personal photographer. He’s ready for his close-up, Mr. DeMille.

Today we learn that Rep. Schock has some more ‘splaining to do:

Things didn’t let up after the weekend. On Monday, USA Today reported that Schock is one of the top travel spenders in the House of Representatives, having spent more than $100,000 on travel in 2013 alone. Adding to his growing reputation as a lavish spender was an article in Politico, which reported that he had spent thousands of dollars on tickets to the Super Bowl and the Country Music Awards and has spent more than $200,000 on legal services since 2011.

That’s a lot of cash to spend to go to non-work related events.

Schock’s litany of woes got even stranger this week, when two men were arrested and charged with attempting to rob his Illinois home. Schock blamed the media coverage of his controversies, particularly a local newspaper, for advertising the fact that the home is vacant while he’s in Washington.

Perhaps they were decorators? Maybe they were in-the-trade ‘contractors’ looking for, um, payment? Who knows!

Your 3-Martini Stupid Is Served

Haters Gotta Hate

Sally Kern Strikes Back! She’s the chief co-sponsor of a bill that would prohibit judges and clerks in Oklahoma from issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples along with “prohibiting public funds for any activity licensing or supporting same-sex marriage; prohibiting public employees from recognizing same-sex marriage licenses; prohibiting spending public funds to enforce certain court orders.”

Kern’s bill [fair warning: PDF] also states that “[n]o employee of this state and no employee of any local governmental entity shall violate or interfere with the implementation of this act and continue to receive a salary, pension or other employee benefit at the expense of taxpayers of this state. If a judge violates this act, the judge shall be removed from office.”

Oh, that sounds totally Constitutional to me.