News That Will Drive You To Drink

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2016 Goat Rodeo contestants, the frothy mix of lube and fecal matter Rick Santorum and the famous boy exorcist and noted volcano scholar Bobby Jindal are going to Israel on the junket with The Family Research Council, a designated hate group. It’s like they are shoring up their theocrat bonafides to take on Huckabee.

Boy exorcist and noted volcano scholar Bobby Jindal

Boy exorcist and noted volcano scholar Bobby Jindal

Claim Chowder: Santorum-style (ew, gross!)

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Hey guys, remember that time that frothy mix of lube and fecal matter Rick ‘Google Me’ Santorum told us that all of the jobs created since the year 2000 (all 6 million of ‘em) went to legal immigrants and no one else? (for old time’s sake, say it with me: “Me Neither!”) — Guess what? He was fibbing again!

Your Bottomless Mimosa of Stupid

So that frothy mix of lube and fecal matter says that climate change is real and there’s nothing you can do about it, so, you know, do nothing.

So, by his reasoning, if he cannot win the preznintcy, maybe he shouldn’t run? I’m kinda liking the Santorum (ew, gross!) theorem.

Some Fries With Your Stupid?

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That frothy mix of lube and fecal matter, Rick Santorum has enough weapons-grade hate that he is now attacking legal immigrants.

Let me ask you a question. Since 2000 there have been a little over six million net new jobs created. What percentage of those net new jobs are held by people not born in this country? Half? Sixty?

All of them.

There are fewer native-born Americans working today than there was [sic] in 2000, in spite of 17 million more workers in the workforce. So when people tell me the problem is just illegal immigration, they’re wrong. They’re wrong…

We are almost at the same level of non-native born in this country they were at in 1920. And in 1920 they realized, wait a minute, it’s affecting our workers. Wages have stagnated, everybody knows that. Why? Part of the reason. Median income is going dowb. Why? Part of the reason is that we’re bringing floods of legal, not illegal, legal immigrants into the country.

The Morning Quote

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“The words ‘separation of church and state’ is not in the U.S. Constitution, but it was in the constitution of the former Soviet Union. That’s where it very, very comfortably sat, not in ours.”

–That theocratic frothy mix of lube and fecal matter Rick Santorum, and potential 2016 Goat Rodeo contestant.

Some Fries With Your Stupid?

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“There was no one nicer than Jesse Helms. I mean, I don’t think a single Democrat would tell you that on a personal level, there was anybody that was more gentlemanly, more kind than Jesse.”

-Frothy mix of lube and fecal matter Rick Santorum

Carol Mosely-Braun begs to differ, Frothy.

There’s Santorum On Your Radio (Ew, Gross!)

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That frothy mix of lube and fecal matter Rick Santorum believes that The Youte of Today would be down with hating on the ‘mos, if the Lavender Menace hadn’t silenced the Church:

“The arguments are being won among young people. We are losing in this particular area among young people not because we’re out there and competing, it’s because they have effectively silenced the church on a lot of those issues and young people don’t even know what the opposing view is on these issues.”

(Right Wing Watch)

Santorum in the News (eew gross!)

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EchoLight Studios, run by former presidential candidate Rick Santorum, said Monday it will release a movie Sep. 1 that explores the Hobby Lobby Supreme Court decision that was handed down Monday.

I’m sure it will be boffo box-office, just like the Christmas Candle ($7M to make and earned $2M). They will be releasing it to Churches first.

(Hollywood Reporter)

The Morning Quote

Frothy Santorum (eew, gross!) implies that The Kenyan Usurper’s campaign team thought he could have ridden a wave of working-class votes to victory over the President in the 2012 Goat Rodeo.

The former presidential hopeful then recounted how he met with Romney’s campaign manager and pollster after dropping out of the race. Romney’s team showed him a poll from Pennsylvania that found Santorum down by four points among voters who went to the polls during the workday, but up by 21 points after 5 p.m.

Which is pretty good when you consider he lost his PA Senatorial seat by double-digits.