The Wit and Wisdom of D’Vorce D’Spousa

I missed this the other day, but look in awe as Fox News Megyn Kelly talks to convicted Felonious Film Maker and Would-Be Bigamist Dinesh D’Souza who says that America is a child-molester and The Kenyan Usurper is the goodie-two shoes who wants to protect the world.

Why does Fox News allow these drooling fuckknuckles on their shows? It boggles my mind that they would give these cretins air time.

Here’s Your Cheese Sandwich With a Side of Stupid

hot nuts

“But the anti-gun nuts, they will be out in force, saying it’s all the guns”. I predict that we’ll find again that yet another person who used a gun was compromised by one or more psychological or psychiatric illnesses that could have been detected.”

Keith Ablow, Fox News’ psychic friend psychiatrist doing yet another long-distance diagnosis as an on-going shooting event in Oregon.

Petunia and Pals Revisited

Well, of course Fox was going to trash the Kenyan Usurper for negotiating with terrorists; it’s what they do. But today they decided that the family of Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl was fair game. Leave it to The Dumb One to go the lowest: get a razor?

I think it is still the professional military’s position: you never leave soldiers behind. It just boggles my mind that conservatives are now OK with that. And not to put too fine a gloss on this, but the entire foundation of our legal system: that you are innocent until proven guilty is now in play with these mental midgets.

Another example of Stuart Varney not understanding Silicon Valley

Varney, of course, is against an increase in the minimum wage because, as he says, it makes employees greedy. And then, of course, he decides to give an example of how increasing the minimum wage will drag dowm innovation:

“Let me take you back to Google,” Varney opined. “In the earlier days of Google, they had all kinds of youngsters, up and coming strivers, who would work day and night. That’s how they built the company. Tech startups with really a drive to succeed and climb that food chain.”

“Now if you bring this in, those high tech workers who started all these brilliant companies, they’ll be on the clock,” he insisted. “Instead of these overnight creative meetings, they’ll be saying, ‘Oh, I just exceeded my 40 hours, I’m due overtime. And if I don’t get it, I’m going to sue.’”

I assure you: none of the engineers at Google worked for minimum wage or were hourly. I assure you none of them are hourly to this day.

What an assrocket.

(Raw Story)

Get off the cross, we need the wood Megyn Kelly

Megyn Kelly says that she is now “a big target for many people” when she joked about white Santa and white Jeebus being a verifiable fact.

“In kicking off the light-hearted segment, I offered a tongue-in-cheek message for any kids watching, saying that Santa — who I joked was a real person whose race was identifiable — is white,” Kelly said. “Humor is a part of what we try to bring to this show, but sometimes, that is lost on the humorless.”

She then lambasted her critics for failing to get the joke.

“This would be funny if it were not so telling about our society,” she continued. “In particular, the knee-jerk instinct by so many to race-bait and to assume the worst of people, especially people employed by the very powerful Fox News Channel.”

Pro tip for Kelly: repeating the punchline of a not-funny joke doesn’t make the joke any more funny. Repeating the punchline is like explaining the joke after it flops. But I digress.

Is Kelly a racist? Who knows? I doubt it. But the video statement she released is disingenuous, and she throws down the Mooselini-esque victim card so hard they probably had an earthquake in China.

But at least she didn’t issue an insincere non-apology.

Fox doesn’t show how she mocked the original author’s point of feeling left out by all the white Santa marketing. They also don’t show that she kept asserting that White Santa is a real person (for the sake of the kids who might be watching Fox News late at night, a-hem), and added that Jeebus was white and that it was a verifiable fact.

Was it intended to be racist? Probably not, it was supposed to be a stupid, throw-away War on Christmas piece that went terribly, terribly wrong. But it was the smug color blind and off-hand white privilege that pushed it that way. It was the unthinking, knee-jerk white superiority (of course all good characters are white) that made it go viral:

“For all you kids watching at home, Santa just is white. But this person is just arguing that maybe we should also have a black Santa. But Santa is what he is…Just because it makes you feel uncomfortable doesn’t mean it has to change, you know? I mean, Jesus was a white man too. He was a historical figure, that’s a verifiable fact, as is Santa – I just want the kids watching to know that.”

And remember, Kelly is the one who says with a straight face that she is a straight news anchor, not like the rest of Fox News.

(Livewire has the story, and as always, Fox has carefully edited what she actually said in the segment that caused the controversy.)