One Lump of Stupid or Two, Rupert?

This happened last night on Twitter:

…which led me to repost my favorite Fox News graphic:

Got it: white is patriotic.

Got it: white is patriotic.

Now, I’m not saying ol’ unca Rupie is a racist, but since when do old white gazillionaire dudes get to say who is really black and who is not? Does this imply that black dudes can say that some dude is really white?

News That Will Drive You To Drink – Let The Chips Fall Where They May!

Chips? Naw, he's crackers

Chips? Naw, he’s crackers

Y’all Qaeda declares war on Doritos! And Todd Starnes will take no prisoners.

The 3-Martini Stupid Is Served, Petunia

Oh, she didn't...

Oh, she didn’t…

“He talks about race,” [Gretchen Carlson, the Original Petunia and still the best] the Fox News host noted pointing to [the latest Virginia shooter’s] manifesto. “He put the initials of the Charleston church shooting victims on the bullets that he used today, he praised the Virginia Tech mass killer, Columbine High School killers, says he was being attacked for being a gay black man.”

“He shot three white people today,” Carlson added. “Why is that not a hate crime?”

(The Mock, Paper, Scissors policy is to not name mass killers and give them, even in death, the notoriety they crave.)

The MPS Drinking Game Rules for the Debate(s)

The 2016 Goat Rodeo

The 2016 Goat Rodeo Debates: Who's On Top?

The 2016 Goat Rodeo Debates: Who’s On Top? (Hubba-Hubba!)

When obvious anagram Reince Priebus punted his only job (to make debate rules) to Fox News, we predicted that the whole thing would turn into a shit-show, um, Goat Rodeo.

As I write this post (starting on Monday…) I do not know who will be in the JV debate earlier in the day nor who will be in the poo-flinging debate in the evening; I don’t know who the moderator(s) [Fox News “personalities,” fer sure] will be either, which puts me in a distinct disadvantage for setting up drinking rules. And given that there are 16 or 17 vyngnuts vying to be the King of Bandini Mountain, we need to have newer, better ways of determining when to drink and how much.

So given these limitations and that there is not one-thin dime of difference between the GOP candidates’ positions on all issues, it now is incumbent upon us to drink to the cliché phrases regardless who says them.

With no further adieu, here are the topics and the rules for MPS’s GOP Debate Drinking Games, Celebrating The Rotting Vestiges of Our Democracy Since 2006 : Continue reading

Sprint Wins The Morning!

I hope that this guy gets Employee of the Month for plugging Sprint’s promotion on Fox News.

The Fox Effect, Cont.

He had one job

The RNC Platform Committee Hard At Work

The RNC Platform Committee Hard At Work

The 2016 Goat Rodeo contenders have less than 2 weeks to generate enough buzz that they can get one of the ten Wonka-like tickets to participate on the first debate on Fox News. The way they create buzz is to create a ruckus. They create a ruckus on Fox News by calling each other names.

Obvious Anagram Reince Priebus doesn’t seem to realize that the candidates’ name calling is the natural result of what would happen once he punted all the decisions about debate rules/regulations/participation to Fox News.

“Greater” Wingnuttia likes their candidates to be bellicose, belligerent, and bombastic. They don’t want a reasoned argument with factual data points, they want the guy who shouts the loudest and throws the pie with the most accuracy, and who supports whatever is their grievance of the day (the Kenyan Usurper).

The Fox Effect, Cont.

The 2016 Goat Rodeo

The 2016 Goat Rodeo!

The 2016 Goat Rodeo!

We’ve noted several times now that obvious anagram Reince Priebus had only one job—of picking debate rules—and punted the whole shebang to his paymasters at Fox News.

This abdication of his job makes Roger Aisles more or less as the official king maker of the GOP 2016 Goat Rodeo as he now gets to openly choose which candidates will participate. In some ways Roger doing this in the sunlight is refreshing honesty, as he usually scuttles about in the dark corners, his mandibles twitching as he selects the winner. But I digress.
Continue reading

One Lump of Stupid or Two, Sean Hannity

The Death of the Media

Oh, he didn't...

Oh, he didn’t…

I love the smell of schadenfreude in the morning.

Anyway watching the media trying to find a Both Sides angle on the Confederate Flag debate is both amusing and appalling, but Sean Hannity’s desperate leap to the sinking ship is a world class, Olympic record-setting derpitude:

“I have a question: can you still buy a Jay-Z CD at Walmart? Does the music department at Sears have any Ludacris albums? Can I download 50 Cent on Amazon? Can I do that? Can I get some Snoop Dogg albums on eBay?” he asked on his radio show after discussing stores that will no longer sell Confederate flags.

“Why do I say that?” Hannity continued. “Because a lot of the music by those artists are chock-full of the ‘N word,’ and the ‘B-word,’ and the ‘H-word,’ and racist, misogynist, sexist, anti-woman slurs none of those retail executives would be caught dead using.”

“So, if it’s okay for Obama’s teenage daughters and people to go into these stores and buy music chock-full of the N-word, the B-word, well maybe we should consider banning that too. We’re in the process of banning everything. Just a thought,” he said.

And the South Carolina Judge gives Hannity a perfect 10 for pulling off the triple salchow of double-speak. Nice way to smear the underage Obama kids, too. Hannity is a class act.


Again, History Repeats Itself, Again

A dead-eyed dick

A dead-eyed dick

We are sad to report that Fox News has once again cancelled their contract with Alaska’s part-time governor and full-time grifter Sarah Palin. Oh, the humanity!

Reports Tiger Beat on the Potomac (thanks Charlie!):

“Fox News will not renew its contract with Sarah Palin, whose bombastic appearances have been a cable staple since the former Alaska governor’s failed run on John McCain’s ticket in the 2008 presidential election cycle. When asked for comment, a Fox News spokesperson confirmed the network had amicably parted ways with the governor on June 1.

“Palin, 51, is expected to make occasional guest appearances on Fox and Fox Business, and will appear on other networks and cables. She has a show on the Sportsman Channel, does a lot of speeches, and will announce a new publishing project soon.”

Mooselini still has a reality show (I think) and of course her “channel” that our lovely Wonkette reports on periodically. And as she still has three unmarried daughters, I’m guessing there will be baby announcements coming soon and the local Police Blotter to look forward to.

I’m sure we have not seen the last of her.

Petunia and Pals Wins The Morning!

You cannot make this s*** up

Jeebus weeps

Jeebus weeps

Petunia and Pals’ C-Team led by Hebephrenic TeeVee Dinner heir and vanity press owner Tucker Carlson had on their Catholic Priest friend Father Jonathon Morris to defend child-molesting impresarios Josh Duggar and the duggaring Duggar family.

That’s what I call an expert witness.

(Crooks and Liars)