The Fox Effect, Cont.

He had one job

The RNC Platform Committee Hard At Work

The RNC Platform Committee Hard At Work

The 2016 Goat Rodeo contenders have less than 2 weeks to generate enough buzz that they can get one of the ten Wonka-like tickets to participate on the first debate on Fox News. The way they create buzz is to create a ruckus. They create a ruckus on Fox News by calling each other names.

Obvious Anagram Reince Priebus doesn’t seem to realize that the candidates’ name calling is the natural result of what would happen once he punted all the decisions about debate rules/regulations/participation to Fox News.

“Greater” Wingnuttia likes their candidates to be bellicose, belligerent, and bombastic. They don’t want a reasoned argument with factual data points, they want the guy who shouts the loudest and throws the pie with the most accuracy, and who supports whatever is their grievance of the day (the Kenyan Usurper).

The Fox Effect, Cont.

The 2016 Goat Rodeo

The 2016 Goat Rodeo!

The 2016 Goat Rodeo!

We’ve noted several times now that obvious anagram Reince Priebus had only one job—of picking debate rules—and punted the whole shebang to his paymasters at Fox News.

This abdication of his job makes Roger Aisles more or less as the official king maker of the GOP 2016 Goat Rodeo as he now gets to openly choose which candidates will participate. In some ways Roger doing this in the sunlight is refreshing honesty, as he usually scuttles about in the dark corners, his mandibles twitching as he selects the winner. But I digress.
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One Lump of Stupid or Two, Sean Hannity

The Death of the Media

Oh, he didn't...

Oh, he didn’t…

I love the smell of schadenfreude in the morning.

Anyway watching the media trying to find a Both Sides angle on the Confederate Flag debate is both amusing and appalling, but Sean Hannity’s desperate leap to the sinking ship is a world class, Olympic record-setting derpitude:

“I have a question: can you still buy a Jay-Z CD at Walmart? Does the music department at Sears have any Ludacris albums? Can I download 50 Cent on Amazon? Can I do that? Can I get some Snoop Dogg albums on eBay?” he asked on his radio show after discussing stores that will no longer sell Confederate flags.

“Why do I say that?” Hannity continued. “Because a lot of the music by those artists are chock-full of the ‘N word,’ and the ‘B-word,’ and the ‘H-word,’ and racist, misogynist, sexist, anti-woman slurs none of those retail executives would be caught dead using.”

“So, if it’s okay for Obama’s teenage daughters and people to go into these stores and buy music chock-full of the N-word, the B-word, well maybe we should consider banning that too. We’re in the process of banning everything. Just a thought,” he said.

And the South Carolina Judge gives Hannity a perfect 10 for pulling off the triple salchow of double-speak. Nice way to smear the underage Obama kids, too. Hannity is a class act.


Again, History Repeats Itself, Again

A dead-eyed dick

A dead-eyed dick

We are sad to report that Fox News has once again cancelled their contract with Alaska’s part-time governor and full-time grifter Sarah Palin. Oh, the humanity!

Reports Tiger Beat on the Potomac (thanks Charlie!):

“Fox News will not renew its contract with Sarah Palin, whose bombastic appearances have been a cable staple since the former Alaska governor’s failed run on John McCain’s ticket in the 2008 presidential election cycle. When asked for comment, a Fox News spokesperson confirmed the network had amicably parted ways with the governor on June 1.

“Palin, 51, is expected to make occasional guest appearances on Fox and Fox Business, and will appear on other networks and cables. She has a show on the Sportsman Channel, does a lot of speeches, and will announce a new publishing project soon.”

Mooselini still has a reality show (I think) and of course her “channel” that our lovely Wonkette reports on periodically. And as she still has three unmarried daughters, I’m guessing there will be baby announcements coming soon and the local Police Blotter to look forward to.

I’m sure we have not seen the last of her.

Petunia and Pals Wins The Morning!

You cannot make this s*** up

Jeebus weeps

Jeebus weeps

Petunia and Pals’ C-Team led by Hebephrenic TeeVee Dinner heir and vanity press owner Tucker Carlson had on their Catholic Priest friend Father Jonathon Morris to defend child-molesting impresarios Josh Duggar and the duggaring Duggar family.

That’s what I call an expert witness.

(Crooks and Liars)

The Mind Boggles

Andrea Tantaros saying anyone with a functioning brain… should probably be the QOTD:

Life is such a banquet.

Petunia and Pals Wins The Morning!

Can there be any doubt when Steve Doocey talks about sex ed that the interview is going to get weird? No.

Anyway, for fairness and balance, The Duggars will be on Fox later this week to talk about their son Josh Duggar, the incestuous Xristian, home-schooled pedophilia aficionado, deemed too toxic for an official hate group.

UPDATE: Five Kids and Counting

VomitThe parents of Josh Duggar, the incestuous Xristian, home-schooled pedophilia aficionado, deemed too toxic for an official hate group, are scheduled to sit down with Megyn Kelly on Fox News for a chat that will undoubtedly stretch credulity like Michelle Duggar’s nether regions:

“Next week we will sit down with Megyn Kelly on Fox News to share our hearts with you about the pain that we walked through as a family twelve years ago, the tears we all shed and the forgiveness that was given.We appreciate the outpouring of love and prayers for our family at this time.”

Not to put too fine a spin on it, the Duggars are part of a sex cult that embraces and celebrates patriarchy above all else. There is little wonder that their oldest son would be a horny teen with a sense of male entitlement, and that his victims would be asked to forgive him (and would). It is even less surprising that it would never dawn on these sex fiends to consider any kind of counseling for the daughters; I mean what if it worked and they developed a sense of identity other than that of being a splash towel during rutting season?

News That Will Drive You To Drink

Death of the Media

Before there was Fox News...

Before there was Fox News…

Fox News Devoted Less Than Two Minutes To The Duggar Controversy

I’m sort of not surprised that almost half of that two minutes was Fox scolding the media for piling-on the Duggars.

Related: TPM read the police report and has analyzed it.

Petunia And Pals Wins The Morning!

And once again, the Petunia and Pals C-team (Where’s Tucker when they need him?) shows their stuff:

Honest to blog, Fox employee Lt. Col. Ralph Peters (Ret.) really said that the Kenyan Usurper is a liar and doesn’t understand much of anything, including the Constitution.

That’s pretty extraordinary for anyone in the military—even retired—to call a sitting Commander-in-Chief a liar, and that he did it on Memorial Day is really an affront to decorum.