“As many people know, the white families are producing less children because the father and mother work and you have interracial marriages and gay marriages, so there are less and less white children being born every day,” he said. “So we’re against that.”
“Nobody stops the Puerto Ricans from flying their Puerto Rican flag or the Jews from having their yarmulke or whatever it is in the holidays,” he continued.
“We don’t go around committing hate crimes,” he said. “We don’t beat up on faggots or black people or burn crosses or any of that nonsense.”
Generally, MPS stays out of local politics, you know, being from somewhere and not from somewhere else we think national politics is the subject at which all the Scissorheads can take aim, but this bit of news from Wonkette might change all that:
Victoria Jackson is thinking about (hahaha, Wonkette just slays me) running for local office in whatever hellhole she lives in. Take it away, Dr. Zoom:
Victoria, we love you and your tenuous grasp on reality, and so of course we urge you to go for it. Don’t worry about the mechanics of campaigning: If you run, Wonkette will be delighted to serve as your campaign committee and one-stop campaign headquarters! We know you’ve got what it takes to succeed in politics in the Sunshine State: A fierce devotion to your principles, regardless of “facts” or “logic,” and a deep-down love of what you think is in the Constitution. You can do this, Victoria — You can make the run for Alderaan, and in less than 12 parsecs, too!
We fully endorse Wonkette endorsing Victoria Jackson’s candidacy, and if there is anything we can do to help that Florida coconut take root in her city council’s race, we’ll sign on with Dr. Zoom’s campaign.
Is there any wonder why Floridastanians hate their governor, Rick Scott? Anyway, “a mere 30 percent of Florida voters said they believe the Republican deserves another term, while 52 percent said he does not. What’s more, 55 percent think that Scott should be challenged by someone from his own party.”
Wait a minute: 30% like him? Sweet Jeebus, we found the motherlode of wingnuttery!
Sweet Jeebus! I didn’t think that they could out-do themselves, but Florida was up to the challenge:
Florida’s Department of Health is asking for intimate details of the sex lives of 4,100 young women, and offering $10 gift cards in return.
State officials said the unprecedented, $45,000 survey will help them understand women’s need for and approach to family-planning services.
Hundreds of women in South Florida were among the survey recipients, their names pulled from the white pages by a private company, state officials said. They were asked to voluntarily tell the state how many men they’d had sex with in the past year, whether a man had ever poked holes in a condom to get them pregnant, and how they felt emotionally when they last had unprotected sex.
Participants will get a $10 CVS card for use on health-related items.
Like a probing friend, the survey asks women ages 18 to 24 things like:
• How did you feel emotionally when you had unprotected sex — were you trying to get pregnant, were you in the “heat of the moment and just went with the flow,” or did you find the man attractive and “thought it would be nice to have a baby with him?” Did you feel “powerless”? Or was it that you “felt emotionally connected with your partner during sex”?
• How old were you when you first had sex? Last time you had sex with a man, did you do anything to keep from getting pregnant? If not, why not?
• Has a sexual partner ever “told you he would have a baby with someone else if you didn’t get pregnant?” “Physically forced you to have sex?” “Hurt you physically because you did not agree to get pregnant?”
• Are you depressed? Have you ever been physically abused? What’s your religion? Do you smoke? How much do you weigh?
Oh, my. Probing questions, indeed. “Whatcha wearing, sweetcheeks…” the strange voice over the phone did not ask, before taking another heavy breath.
Nine-nine-nine spouting bad pizza magnate Herman Cain won the Florida Straw Poll by over 20 points with his next closes nutty rival (Theocrat sessessionist Rick Perry).