There’s A Joke In Here Somewhere

ape

During a House Education and Workforce Committee proceeding on Wednesday to reauthorize the nation’s elementary and secondary education law, Rep. Dave Brat (R-VA) said, “Socrates trained Plato in on a rock and then Plato trained in Aristotle roughly speaking on a rock. So, huge funding is not necessary to achieve the greatest minds and the greatest intellects in history.”

“Rocks in shoe, not in head,” Socrates said as he left the hearing, reaching for the hemlock.

It’s not enough that these gobs want to defund education, but they also want to turn it over to corporate america:

…He later went on to say that he thinks the answer to improving education in this country “would be to get private sector folks into every one of our schools, get the CEOs in the schools and move beyond this just narrow policy debate and really have a revolution.”

Imagine the products of Trump Elementary?

(Think Progress)

One Lump of Stupid, Or Two?

schlafley surreal

Ancient hate goblin pessary Phyllis Schlafly takes to the pages of World Nut Daily to propose NEW MATH ON COLLEGE CAMPUSES:

Long ago when I went to college, campuses were about 70 percent male, and until 1970 it was still nearly 60 percent. Today, however, the male percentage has fallen to the low 40s on most campuses.

You can see where this is going already, right?

…Colleges claim they grant admissions based on academic merit, and girls come out of high school with better grades than boys. But that doesn’t always mean they are smarter or more capable of doing college work or succeeding after graduation.

Let’s see: merit-based entrance requirement discriminate against stupid candidates (men) and are biased towards successful candidates (women), and therefor ol’ Phyllis is suddenly in favor of… quotas?!

So, what’s the solution? One solution might be to impose the duty on admissions officers to arbitrarily admit only half women and half men.

What else you got, Phyl?

Another solution might be to stop granting college loans, thereby forcing students to take jobs to pay for their tuition and eliminate time for parties, perhaps even wiping out time for fraternities and sororities. I went through college while working a full-time manual-labor job, and I don’t regret a minute of it; it was a great learning experience.

OK, that would put it back out of reach of low income people…

Another solution would be to reinstate all the men’s sports that were canceled by an extremist feminist application of Title IX, the federal law that prohibits discrimination against female students.

And now I’m seeing the return of poodle skirts… OK, so college returns to being a (white male privilege) finishing school for stupid jocks?

The feminists have abolished more than 2,200 men’s college sports teams since 1981, such as wrestling, gymnastics, track, golf and even some football in order to limit the number of male players to Title IX guidelines. That removes a primary motivation for young men to go to college, many of whom want to try out for a sport even if they are not good enough to make the team.

…because sports are for boys. Left to their druthers, women would compete with each other using needle-work skills, baking for speed and accuracy? OK, now for the stunning conclusion about why this is a good idea for all college students. Wanna make a bet on what Schlafly says?

The popularity of the new college football playoff system illustrates how successful men’s college sports can be for participants and fans alike. But when colleges eliminate men’s sports, women are hurt by the resulting gender imbalance in enrollment.

And the essay ends right there, but the real conclusion seems obvious even to me: Women would benefit from this change because college would then have more eligible men for them to marry, and it would piss off the feminists. The End.

Here’s Your Cheese Sandwich With A Side of Stupid

(LA Times)

In New Orleans, major school district closes traditional public schools for good

As was long predicted, New Orleans will become the first major American city to not have any public schools. This is by design from the moment that Wingnuttia saw a chance to make a buck following Katrina.

“They [charter school providers] don’t answer to anyone,” said Sean Johnson, the dean of students at Banneker [Elementary, one of the public schools that has just closed], whose father attended the school while growing up in the Black Pearl neighborhood. “The charters have money and want to make more money. They have their own boards, make their own rules, accept who they want and put out who they want to put out.”

I can only guess what’s going to happen to at-risk kids.

Marco Rubio: The Education Preznint

Rubio and Charlie McCarthy

One-time savior of the GOP Marco ‘Big Gulp’ Rubio who imploded when he tried to tackle imigration reform and the bigots and dunderheads of his party wanted his head on pike, is working on rehab’ing himself for the 2016 Goat Rodeo, and has apparently dazzled the hard-line communist hunters in Wingnuttia with a recent speech on the perils of Cuba:

I’m still not sure whatever Cuba has to do with Venezuela outside of the fevered imaginations of domino-theorists as both Chavez and Castro are not ruling their respective countries any longer, but whatever. Peggy Noonan is all moist for Rubio again, and I guess that’s all that matters… but I digress.

Rubio is giving small policy talks on non-immigration issues (since that torpedo’ed him with the Teabaggers), and has latched onto education reform for some reason (He’s worried about his mentor Jeb Bush entering the Goat Rodeo and wants to pre-empt his only topic? Yes):

[Rubio] delivered a speech at a community college in Florida outlining steps to control rising tuition costs and make student loans less burdensome. Among them is a bill he’s sponsored with Democratic Sens. Ron Wyden and Mark Warner that would require universities to make public information about past graduates’ incomes and debt. He’s also looking at tying student debt payments to income and laying the legal groundwork for private investors to buy equity in students’ future income as an alternative to traditional loans.

Now aside from the fact that this educational proposal would not lower tuition nor make life any better for any student anywhere, what it does say: privatize the debt of students (and where have we seen selling of debt go wrong, hmmm?), and sell it to investors for payment on the students future income. That sounds strangely like indentured servitude to me, and a money-making scheme for his buddies. Students are just the commodity being sold, not mortgages.

Stick to Cuba, Marco. At least the indentured servitude there is not buried under the disguise of education reform.

(MSNBC)

Intelligent Design

intelligent-design.jpg

Education in science will be opt-out in Missouri, if a bill requiring schools to notify parents if “the theory of evolution by natural selection” is being taught at their child’s school passes.

Anyone wanna guess to what party the representative who proposed this belongs? (Raw Story)

Xristian Xrazie School Will Not Accept Your Filthy, Socialist Money

Have you checked the children?

Have you checked the children?

…they also will not accept kids of gay couples:

Myrtle Grove Christian School will not accept state funding from a new General Assembly school tuition voucher program, the school’s headmaster said Friday.

The statement came less than a month after Myrtle Grove Christian announced a new policy requiring students’ families to promise they won’t support or participate in a gay lifestyle.

Such “biblical morality policies,” as they’re called, aren’t uncommon at religious private schools. But the state’s new tuition voucher program raised questions about the policy. Stacey Miller, Myrtle Grove Christian’s headmaster, said in an emailed statement Friday that the school currently doesn’t receive any “government funding or enroll any students under any voucher program.”

So let’s summarize: private school, private funding, no privates.

(HuffPo)

Michelle Rhee’s Reform Agenda Revealed

Controversial public-school theorist and expert user of erasers on official documents, Chancellor Michelle Rhee has awarded her reformer of the year designation to… Tennessee House Representative John Ragan.

According to Rhee’s official political apparatus, StudentsFirst, this is how Ragan won:

Representative John Ragan has consistently voted to do right by kids when it comes to education. Rep. Ragan supported an overhaul to Tennessee’s outdated tenure system, and in doing so helped guarantee that school system leadership has the ability to ensure that great teachers are in every classroom. And Rep. Ragan cast an important vote to end arbitrary limits on the number of charter schools in Tennessee.

According to the actual record, this is what Ragan did:

And there is much, much more out there. The Google will help you find it.

So what is the real and only qualification that Rhee found that pumped Ragan to the top reformer? I can only guess because he was successful in dumping tenured teachers. Everything else is secondary. Michelle Rhee has an agenda, and it clearly has almost nothing to do with benefitting public school kids, and everything to do with justifying her terrible record at the DC School District.

(StudentsFirst)

Fiscal responibility is for kids!

If you live in Tennessee, your family is down on their luck and you’re struggling in school, then you’re about to get a little more hungry if a bill goes through:

Failure to comply with attendance requirements, or to receive a proficient or advanced score or a grade point average sufficient to ascend to the next grade, will be a failure to comply with the personal responsibility plan required by this bill and will result in a 30 percent reduction with regard to the temporary assistance payment until such time as compliance occurs.

Study hard kids. Your dinner depends on it. Glad Reps Evans and Dennis are thinking about the kids.

Teh stuuupid, it BURNNNNNNNNS!

OK, aside from the fact that it is Stuart Varmint talking to The Other Dumb One on an episode of Petunia and Pals, and aside from the fact that Varmint is claiming The Kenyan Usurper is trying to bribe 4-year olds with free stuff to vote for him in 15 years (WTF?), don’t we already have public education in this country? In what way is having pre-school any different from any other grade level?

Idaho Goes Galt?

BOISE – Coeur d’Alene Sen. John Goedde, chairman of the Idaho Senate’s Education Committee, introduced legislation Tuesday to require every Idaho high school student to read Ayn Rand’s “Atlas Shrugged” and pass a test on it to graduate from high school.

When Sen. Bob Nonini, R-Coeur d’Alene, asked Goedde why he chose that particular book, Goedde said to laughter, “That book made my son a Republican.”

[snip]

Sen. Cherie Buckner-Webb, D-Boise, questioned the choice of the book for a graduation requirement. “We have a wide variety of children who will be trying to graduate and reading and grasping some of these things, and their cultural context may be different,” she said.

Goedde responded, “I don’t plan on moving this forward – it was a statement.”

Nevertheless, as a formally introduced bill, the measure will be read across the desk in the Senate Wednesday morning and will receive a bill number; it will be among the bills posted on the Legislature’s website for the session and preserved in its records.

OK, it is not moving forward, but there it is.

“When I read Atlas Shrugged, and it’s been probably 30 years since I read it, but it certainly gives one a sense of personal responsibility,” Goedde said.

Like the personal responsibility to introduce legislation you have no intention of moving forward, wasting everyone’s time and money for your own personal vendettas? Congratulations, sir, you have learned the true essence of Atlas Shrugged: Fuck you, I got mine. What an assrocket.

(Spokesman-Review)