Ginning-Up Outrage: An Object Lesson

kick-me machine

Watching the Conservatives react to the Supreme Court ruling in favor of Obamacare is something like watching a pack of Beagles at a vacuum cleaner factory: after the initial frantic humor, you begin to feel sorry for them.

Or maybe not.

Anyway, I was perusing the Web pages of the National Review Online (motto: the most intellectually dishonest rest stop on the information superhighway), when I noticed that the three of the four stories they had up on the SCOTUS ruling had something in common.

See if you can spot it!

First up: the banner story: Roberts Gets It Wrong Again

Roberts Gets It Wrong

Next, King V. Burwell: An Embarassing Decision

Embarassing Decision

And last up to bat, that sharp dresser, George Will with The Damaging Doctrine of John Roberts Is on Full Display in the King v. Burwell Decision

Damaging Doctrine

Notice what they have in common? That’s right, kids: No one has shared a single article. Take a bow in the comments if you got it right!

Next, we turn to the article that did get shared, Scalia Slams Roberts as Biased In Obamacare Cases

Fat Tony

It’s not just that it was slighty more shared than the others, the difference is stark. That, my friends, is a world of butthurt.

So here’s the lesson for anyone who wants to make a career in writing headlines for wingnuts: action verbs, baby. And anger.

One Lump of Stupid or Two, Sean Hannity

The Death of the Media

Oh, he didn't...

Oh, he didn’t…

I love the smell of schadenfreude in the morning.

Anyway watching the media trying to find a Both Sides angle on the Confederate Flag debate is both amusing and appalling, but Sean Hannity’s desperate leap to the sinking ship is a world class, Olympic record-setting derpitude:

“I have a question: can you still buy a Jay-Z CD at Walmart? Does the music department at Sears have any Ludacris albums? Can I download 50 Cent on Amazon? Can I do that? Can I get some Snoop Dogg albums on eBay?” he asked on his radio show after discussing stores that will no longer sell Confederate flags.

“Why do I say that?” Hannity continued. “Because a lot of the music by those artists are chock-full of the ‘N word,’ and the ‘B-word,’ and the ‘H-word,’ and racist, misogynist, sexist, anti-woman slurs none of those retail executives would be caught dead using.”

“So, if it’s okay for Obama’s teenage daughters and people to go into these stores and buy music chock-full of the N-word, the B-word, well maybe we should consider banning that too. We’re in the process of banning everything. Just a thought,” he said.

And the South Carolina Judge gives Hannity a perfect 10 for pulling off the triple salchow of double-speak. Nice way to smear the underage Obama kids, too. Hannity is a class act.

(LiveWire)

Shorter WaPo Bobby Jindal Story

Ah'm as popular as a fart in church back home!

Ah’m as popular as a fart in church back home!

Shorter WaPo: From Invisible to Merely Obscure

“[Bobby] Jindal’s status as a conservative of color helped propel his meteoric rise in the Republican Party — from an early post in the George W. Bush administration to two terms in Congress and now a second term as Louisiana governor — and donors from Indian American groups fueled his first forays into politics. Yet many see him as a man who has spent a lifetime distancing himself from his Indian roots…”

Which reminds me, in case anyone was wondering why the whores journalists at the Washington Post are giving Jindal a lavish tongue-bath: tomorrow is the big day that boy exorcist and reknowned volcano scholar Bobby Jindal announces his entry into the 2016 Goat Rodeo. Can you feel the excitement?

Me Neither!

The Death of the Media: Meet The Press

The-Spice-Must-Flow

I’ve been debating writing something about the disaster that was this week’s edition of Meet the Press, but my betters have written about it far better than I could.

I went on a tirade last night on Twitter, linking Comcast (owner of NBC), NBC, the producers of MTP, and of course Chuck Todd, and I was not alone.

Here’s the thing when you make a segment so egregious that it suddenly made Chuck Todd’s name a world-wide trending topic, mostly with people demanding NBC do something about this: you have to address it.

Chuck Todd personally addressed it by blocking people on Twitter who were being mean about him. Heh.

This is what Comcast/NBC/MTP chose to say via Chuck Todd:

“We’ve gotten a lot of feedback about the gun video we showed on Meet the Press today. Some were upset it only featured African-American men talking about their regrets of pulling a trigger. All of the men in the piece volunteered to be a part of the video and the larger project it is a part of.

“But the last thing we wanted was to cloud the discussion of the topic.

“The original decision to air this segment was made before Wednesday’s massacre. However, the staff and I had an internal debate about whether to show it at all this week. When we discussed putting it off, that conversation centered around race and perception – not the conversation we wanted the segment to invoke.

“We decided against delaying the segment because we wanted to show multiple sides of what gun violence does in this country. We thought the issue of gun violence in our culture and society was an important conversation to continue — too important to put off for another week. The consequences of gun violence should not be hidden.

“As I say to all audiences, Meet the Press should make all viewers uncomfortable at some point or we are not doing our job. I hope folks view the gun video as a part of the conversation we should all be having and not the totality of it.”

And as anyone who has ever had to explain a joke after telling it, you know you lost. This statement was such a truck load of crap that all the flies in Manhattan were buzzing around 30 Rock.

I think the show exceeded its shelf life long ago and should be put down, humanely. And it’s not just Chuck Todd’s MTP: it was David Gregory’s version, and it was the most-overrated talking head in the history of teevee news, Tim Russert’s MTP was also long past the expiration date.

All of the Sunday Talkies are bad, but this segment will be taught in J-Schools as what not to do. Ever. It will be held up, along with the blow-back as an example of what happens when you stop being journalists, which they all clearly stopped being some decades ago.

The world has a great need for journalists, and news. The media landscape is changing fast as television sets are turned off, and newspapers are going away. It’s not a question of the platform, as media analysts always say. We need journalists more than ever and instead we have marketing messengers. The Sunday Talkies are nothing but an extended QVC sales pitch from shameless hucksters to shameless hucksters.

Paraphrasing Karl Marx, or one of the other Marx Brothers, our media has gone from tragedy to farce and everyone seems to know it except for the suits in NYC who make the decisions.

Cancel Meet The Press. Do it.

Petunia And Pals Wins The Morning!

Petunia II (electric boogaloo?) is worried that the uncouth and obvs. racist Kenyan Usurper is going to offend her Dumbo-sized ears and say the N-word in the State of the Union Address, you know, because he said it in context on a podcast with Mark Maron*:

This is our free and unfettered press hard at work.

*Misspelled originally. My bad.

Your Sunday Bottomless Mimosa of Stupid

Tucker Carlson, the hebephrenic TeeVee Dinner heir and vanity press owner and B-Team talking head on Fox’ News least-truthful show (think about that) suggests that The Kenyan Usurper should not have a security detail:

The Death of the Media. Cont.

Shooting

The Post-It note advertisement… is for a gun store.

(Hat tip: Scissorhead Fran)

PS: Returned to Seattle safe and unsound.

The Death of the Media, Cont.

The Death of the Media

Goats on ice
Mrs. Alan Greenspan interviews Sen. Bernie Sanders, And every question is about Rodham-Clinton.

I can’t embed the vid (thanks a lot Obama!), but honestly why can’t she ask him directly where he stands on the issues? This is really stupid.

Your Liberal Media Hard At Work—Updated

Drooling fuckknuckle

The Pantheon of Dunces

Mark Halperin, the always-wrong, Dick-whispering pundit, is also an exercise buff! Who knew that underneath his drab Clark Kent sack-suit an always-wrong, Dick-whispering Superman existed?

Well Media Matters knew.

“According to Time, Halperin is listed on the official schedule to lead the session with Ann Romney on Saturday, June 13, at the The Chateaux at Silver Lake at Deer Valley Resort in Park City, Utah. Time describes the event, put together by former Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney, as “Club Med for the political mega-donors.”

“Time adds that “the event offers high-profile and high net-worth individuals the opportunity to gather in picturesque Deer Valley, Utah, and the chance to meet with at least six presidential candidates.” The Time piece included a reproduced copy of the event itinerary, showing Halperin’s scheduled session.”

One of the few things I can imagine that could be worse than seeing Halperin on Morning Joe is seeing Halperin first thing in the morning in his gym togs sweating with the oldies. So to speak.

I wonder if Rafalca will be leading the Step Areobics session?

Anyway, Mark (if you are reading this), you freaking tool, there is a difference between reporting the news and being the news. You might want to try it sometime.

Stolen with pride from @twolf, who is an old pal from Dependable Renegade.

Some Fries With Your Stupid?

erick_ericksonThe blogs old pal, Erick son of Eric:

“[The Washington Free Beacon] are the greatest trolls in America. Yes I love them. I love the Free Beacon when I grow up I want to work there.”

…to which the cry rang out from under all of America’s crumbling bridges, “Fuck You!”