The Death of the Media Wins The Morning! (Part Infinity)

“Some say,” Some Said

Keep polishing, Politico.

Keep polishing, Politico.

Tiger Beat on the Potomac (thanks Charlie!) breathlessly gives us another unsourced scoop to Win the Morning! and today it is that Smilin’ Joe Biden hisself was the one who leaked the dying words of his son Beau to MoDo at the NYTimes:

“According to multiple sources, it was Biden himself who talked to her, painting a tragic portrait of a dying son, Beau’s face partially paralyzed, sitting his father down and trying to make him promise to run for president because “the White House should not revert to the Clintons and that the country would be better off with Biden values.”

Nice way to slime Biden, too, so it’s a double-win.

Oh, and he’s allegedly offering the VP spot to Sen. Warren, another unsourced allegation.

Without sources, it’s all idle gossip, but it does WIN THE MORNING!

Breaking: Joe Biden Still Not Running

The Death of the Media

News that will make you squeal.

News that will make you squeal.

I know it breaks the heart of our elite media, but until/unless Smilin’ Joe Biden declares, he’s not running in the 2016 Goat Rodeo.

First on CNN: Biden expected to skip first Democratic debate

Washington (CNN) Vice President Joe Biden has extended his window for deciding whether to jump into the 2016 presidential campaign, several Democrats say, allowing the contest to play out even longer before he answers one of the biggest questions hanging over the race for the White House.

He is not preparing for the first Democratic debate on October 13 in Las Vegas and is not expected to participate, people close to him say, because he feels no pressure to reach a decision by then. He is likely to reveal his plans in the second half of October.

You’re getting dangerously close to Tiger Beat on the Potomac (thanks Charlie!) territory, CNN.

“Generalissimo Francisco Franco is still dead.”

I guess that Malaysian airliner is no longer missing, so a missing candidate is now their thing? Yeah, we’ll go with that.

“Some Say,” Some Said (part infinity)

The Death of the Media

Drink The Kool Aid with Tiger Beat on the Potomac

Drink The Kool Aid with Tiger Beat on the Potomac

Tiger Beat on the Potomac has been reading MPS, we guess, because now the topic of their unsourced gossip is which 2016 Goat Rodeo contender will be the next to drop out.

However, unlike us, they think that the kiddie table is about to be purged as they predict the exit of Boy Exorcist Bobby Jindal and who? George Pataki.

They also see dark shadows over Schrödinger’s Candidate Rand Paul.

Let’s get to the sources, and because this week some of the unsourced quotes are so dubious we cite list them, too for your reading pleasure:

  • A quarter of Iowa Republicans say it’s Jindal
  • “He’s become desperate,” an Iowa Republican said.
  • Added another
  • Pataki is considered most likely to drop out next, with 27 percent of Republican insiders there pointing to him.
  • “There comes a point when his irrelevance becomes crystal clear even to him,” a New Hampshire Republican said.
  • “The Spice Girls were big in the 1990s, too, but no one wants to see them on a reunion tour,” snarked another New Hampshire Republican. This is my personal favorite. No one talks like that, do they? also/too: A Republican listened to the Spice Girls in the ’90s?!
  • Agreed a third, “The only question is why he wasn’t out before Perry and Walker.”
  • Several insiders said that at some point, Paul will need to focus on winning reelection to his Senate seat.
  • “Rand Paul’s campaign [reeks] of the same stench of death that surrounded the Perry and Walker efforts before their demise,” said a New Hampshire Republican
  • Said an Iowa Republican
  • agreed a New Hampshire Republican
  • 40 percent of Iowa Democratic insiders picked the Kentucky senator and 34 percent of New Hampshire Democrats named Jindal.
  • Said an Iowa Democrat who agreed with Republicans

And as always we conclude with: unsourced quotes are gossip, not news. Unless someone goes on record, this is just idle speculation and gossip. Granted, I can understand why no one would want to admit to listening to the Spice Girls. We’ll give that Republican a break.

Breathless 2016 Goat Rodeo Analysis From Tiger Beat On The Potomac

The Death of the Media

Trumpenstein Monster from K-N-K

All summer our elite media has been gnashing and wailing about the rise of the short-fingered vulgarian Donald Trump, probably because he has upended their agreed upon narrative of how the 2016 Goat Rodeo was supposed to be a clash of the Bush-Clinton dynasties. The Press’s theme for most of the summer has been about Trump’s eventual fall from the top because he defies their conventional wisdom. And no one has been more vocal about defending the conventional wisdom than Tiger Beat on the Potomac (thanks Charlie).

So today TBOTP gives us what has to be the most proudly stupid analysis trying to proclaim that the GOP’s swamp fever has finally broken: Trump momentum shows signs of stalling

“The latest national Quinnipiac University survey released Thursday provided some fuel to wishful rivals. Trump still leads among registered Republican voters with 25 percent, statistically unchanged from last month’s Quinnipiac survey that put him at 28 percent. Yet it’s the second major national poll this week showing a slight decrease from last month — Trump experienced an 8-point drop in the CNN/ORC survey released Sunday. (A Fox poll released Wednesday evening also showed Trump with relatively stalled momentum, and a Bloomberg survey of the GOP field showed Trump in a holding pattern at 21 percent).”

You get that? The latest survey shows no statistical difference from the previous survey and that’s their proof that his ascension is over: It’s not increasing.

There’s so many fails for the Media in the Trump story, the least of which is that they have failed to note that one of our two political parties has gone completely off the rails; it’s the story of our new century and no one is covering it. The GOP’s policy position on everything reflects their world view: Straight White Christian Men Only. There’s nothing else that matters, except giving rich people tax cuts. It’s as pure as triple-distilled vodka.

And Trump is the perfect distillation of the insanity of the GOP that no one is talking about. When you point out that the problem isn’t Trump, the problem is the GOP, the media’s talking heads turn on a dime and point to Bernie Sanders as if he is some sort of counterbalance.

There is no Both Sides to the story. There is no equal and opposite side to the Confederate Flag, building a wall on the southern border (and northern border; I’m already nostalgic for the Wall-Eyed Git), deporting 12 million people, forcing (poor) women into back alley abortions and giving personhood to zygotes, shoving gays into the closet after dissolving their marriages, ending minimum wage, #BlackLivesMatter are the REAL RACISTS!, and so on. There is nothing.

And so we continue on with the media telling us all is well:

UPDATED: added Christian to the description of the GOP. Seems so obvious, it boggles my mind that I missed it.

(Image: Scissorhead Keith-Not-Keith)

There Are No Editors Anymore

The Death of the Media

Ol’ Pinwheel, my first journalism teacher, is spinning in the hereafter:

New duck-billed dinosaur found in Alaska, researchers say

A new dinosaur, you say?

Your Saturday Bottomless Mug of Stupid is Served, Halperin!

The Death of the Media

Drooling fuckknuckle

From The Pantheon of Dunces

So hard to imagine that Donald Trump would attract racists, bigots, and xenophobes (oh my!) that want to deport all Muslims, including the Kenyan Usurper.

Mark, your material is getting better. You’ll be ready for open mic night before you know it.

One Lump of Stupid or Two, NBC Universal

The Death of the Media

ChuckieToddDollWSorry to do this to you guys, but NBC Universal CEO Phil Griffin has decided to put lumps of coal in our Christmas stockings early:

“Starting next week, we’ll welcome two new anchors to our afternoon lineup, as we draw on our best breaking news talent from across MSNBC and NBC News.

“I’m happy to share the good news that Kate Snow will join our anchor team and be in the chair from 3:00pm to 5:00pm each day. Please join me in welcoming Kate to our dayside lineup, and also congratulating her on another new role – as announced earlier today, Kate is now the anchor of the Sunday edition of NBC Nightly News.

“Also, as you know, Brian Williams will be leading our live, breaking news coverage – helping viewers navigate big moments. He will begin on Tuesday with the arrival of Pope Francis.

“Then, on Monday, September 28, Chuck Todd’s new show will debut at 5pm. MTP Daily will bring the insight and power of Meet the Press to our air every day of the week. We hope it will become the daily cable news show of record for the 2016 campaign.”

Yup, the unappealing and unlikeable hack Chuck ‘It’s Not My Job’ Todd will be on your liberal teevee machine daily, bringing his insight into you living rooms. You might want to fumigate.

(Full Disclosure: Chuck Todd has blocked me on Twitter.)

“Some Say,” Some Said (part infinity)

The Death of the Media

pigs drinking

And here we go again, another breathless Tiger Beat on the Potomac (thanks Charlie!) unsourced and unattributed article, this time mostly devoted to Hillary Clinton.

The gist of the article is that HRC can and will win the nomination because she has great infrastructure. It then goes on to discuss short-fingered vulgarian Donald Trump and concludes with a mixed grill of the rest of the Konservative Klown Kar.

Also new to their format, they discuss polling results without linking to the poll or mentioning it by name. There might be multiple polls, who knows?

As is our custom, we list the sources:

  • said an uncommitted New Hampshire Democrat
  • a New Hampshire Democrat said
  • cautioned another Granite State Democrat
  • an uncommitted Iowa Democrat said
  • Democratic insiders suggested
  • an Iowa Democrat said
  • said one Granite State Democrat
  • Added an Iowa Democrat
  • A New Hampshire Democrat who said
  • a New Hampshire Republican said of Trump
  • noted a New Hampshire Republican
  • Added another Granite State Republican
  • An Iowa Republican attributed
  • the Iowa insider said
  • according to the bulk of insiders on both sides of the aisle
  • an unaligned Granite State Republican said
  • A New Hampshire Democrat, one of the 40 percent of Democrats who named Bush, added
  • said one Iowa Republican
  • said another Hawkeye State Republican
  • Said a third Iowa Republican
  • Equal numbers of Iowa and New Hampshire Republicans said
  • a Granite State Republican said
  • Agreed another New Hampshire Republican
  • cautioned several insiders
  • a New Hampshire Republican said

And our conclusion: unless someone is willing to go on record, this is just gossip, and not even as well-sourced as the stuff in the hallways of middle schools—snotty pubescent teens at least have the guts to say, “Susie says…”

Teh Stuupid… It Buuuuuuurns!

The Death of the Media, Cont.

Everytime I think about deserving J-School grads who are struggling to find a job, I am reminded of the completely untalented and undeserving Luke Russert who is occupying a space that should belong to someone who deserved a shot.

But today’s example of L’il Luke’s journalistic chops is just breath-taking:

When the tumbrels come for the villagers, I really hope that NBC will explain this example of bad decision making and nepotism to us.

“Some Say,” Some Said

The Death of the Media

Breaking News!
Tiger Beat on the Potomac (thanks Charlie!) breathlessly tells us that Joe Biden is not going to run in the 2016 Goat Rodeo, in another one of their classic, unsourced, unattributed articles.

I’ll give you the sources, because that’s the kinda guy I am:

  • a New Hampshire Democrat said
  • an Iowa Democrat said
  • an Iowa Democrat said
  • said a New Hampshire Democrat
  • a New Hampshire Democrat said
  • a New Hampshire Democrat said
  • warned an Iowa Democrat
  • Added a New Hampshire Democrat
  • an Iowa Democrat said
  • said a New Hampshire Republican
  • said an Iowa Republican
  • Summed up a Granite State Republican
  • an Iowa Republican said
  • wailed a New Hampshire Democrat
  • said an Iowa Republican
  • an Iowa Republican said
  • a New Hampshire Republican said
  • complained a New Hampshire Republican
  • cautioned a New Hampshire Republican

I get it that some people will not speak freely on the record, but that is what changes speculative gossip and guessing into a news story. This is gossip. Unless Joe Biden announces a run, Politico will sit back smugly and say that they got a scoop. This is the stuff of madness.