Which Scissorhead is this?

Which one of you plays the tuba and decided to follow around KKK marchers giving them a cartoony soundtrack?

Congratulations to Ireland…

liza…you’ve surpassed the USA on civil rights and liberties: Ireland has voted to legalize gay marriage, both sides say (It’s a WaPo article, so reflexively they put in a Both Sides…):

“As the official ballot counting continued, the only question appeared to be how large the “yes” margin of victory from Friday’s vote would be. Analysts said the “yes” support was likely to exceed 60 percent nationally when official results are announced later Saturday.”

The Morning Quote

The Smart Bush®

The Smart Bush®

NotChimpy Jeb Bush made yet another trip to (dead Jerry Falwell’s) Liberty University (accredited in some locals, but not all), and to give the commencement address to Wingnuttia’s Yutes of Today.

“Somebody here is being small-minded and intolerant, and it sure isn’t the nuns, ministers, and laymen and women who ask only to live and practice their faith. Federal authorities are demanding obedience, in complete disregard of religious conscience — and in a free society, the answer is no.

“The stories vary, year after year, but the storyline is getting familiar: The progressive political agenda is ready for its next great leap forward, and religious people or churches are getting in the way. Our friends on the left like to view themselves as the agents of change and reform, and you and I are supposed to just get with the program.”

Why are all the dogs barking, Jeb?

The Saturday Morning Quote

Not Born That Way

“I believe in America it’s pretty hard to say anything without somebody being offended. The issue here doesn’t have anything to do, at the end of the day, with the gay community. It has everything to do with protecting freedom of religion.” (Raw Story)

— Mark Gurley, a spokesman for Restrain the Judges, who put up those electronic billboards in the midwest.

I can’t even… People like Gurley make me wish that the Rapture would happen right now so he would get off our planet. Imagine what a paradise it would be if those theocrats were gone?

News That Will Drive You To Drink

Happy Hour News Briefs

I suppose there was a reason why he went to med school, and we just found it: 2016 Goat Rodeo novelty candidate Ben Carson’s grasp of civics would probably be an absolute zero on the LSAT.

One Lump of Stupid or Two, Rep. King?

Xristian Xrazy is as Xristian Xrazy does.

Xristian Xrazy is as Xristian Xrazy does.

The Pride of Iowa, ol’ Cantaloupe Calves hisself, Steve King is proposing legislation that will strip federal courts of the ability to make any ruling on marriage. You know, Article 3 of the Constitution. The bill also prevents any federal monies from being used for any enforcement of any order or any judgment by any federal court.

We guess that King doesn’t want the ‘mos to get married, but is cool with wive-sisters?

Says King:

“For too long, federal courts have overstepped their constitutionally limited duty to interpret the Constitution. Rather, federal courts have perverted the Constitution to make law and create constitutional rights to things such as privacy, birth control, and abortion. These unenumerated, so-called constitutionally-protected rights were not envisioned by our Founding Fathers.”

King essentially just gave Konstitushunonal Konservatives an essential boner, essentially.

“Will There Be Cake?”

Rake-Stepping for Speed And Accuracy

Time-with-RubioMarco ‘Big Gulp’ Rubio helpfully tells us that he would go to a same-sex wedding. Does he see the rake in the chapel:

Sen. Marco Rubio (R-Florida), the newest and youngest official Republican candidate for president, has said he believes marriage should be “traditional”—between a man and a woman.

So Fusion’s Jorge Ramos asked him: If someone in his family or on his staff were gay and getting married, would he attend the wedding?

“If it’s somebody in my life that I care for, of course I would,” Rubio told Ramos in an interview on Wednesday.

“I’m not going to hurt them simply because I disagree with a choice they’ve made or because I disagree with a decision they’ve made, or whatever it may be,” he added. “Ultimately, if someone that you care for and is part of your family has decided to move in one direction or another or feels that way because of who they love, you respect that because you love them.”

A) That’s mighty big of you to attend as to not hurt their feelings (it’s all about you, Marco), and 2) Tell them that they made a choice you disagree with.

So… are you not saying that you would respect the decision of gay loved-one, but not a gay stranger?

“But again, as I said, I’m a member of the Catholic faith that teaches, for example, that divorce is wrong,” Rubio said. “But if someone gets divorced, I’m not going to stop loving them or having them a part of our lives.”

I see. So same-sex marriage is as acceptable as divorce, so when are you going to try to outlaw that, Marco?

Would They Sell Flowers To Noot?

You bet they would, and they say so at the end.

One Lump of Stupid or Two, Noot?

Staff-banging Serial Adulterer

One of the many faces of Staff-banging Serial Adulterer Noot Gingrich and the demirep who downed him, Callista

Staff-banging serial adulterer, and noted theologian Newticles comes to the defense of Indiana’s We Don’t Serve Your Kind law by bringing up, what exactly?

“The fact is, for example, the governor of Connecticut announced he wouldn’t send people to Indiana. Well, Connecticut has exactly the same law. They adopted it 20 years ago. The head of Apple announces that he’s deeply disappointed. Apple sells cell phones in Saudi Arabia, where being homosexual is a death penalty. The level of selective outrage, the opportunity to pick a fight — the news media couldn’t help themselves.”

Shorter Newticles: “Something gotta stick.”

So the new theological discussion is not about angels dancing on a pin, but whether or not Noot would be served Pizza at Memories in Indiana. Discuss.

Who’s #BoycottIndiana This Afternoon

I thought we could probably do a single daily update on the high profile people and organizations that are now boycotting Indiana, but it seems to be snowballing pretty fast. I don’t want to take the time to make this an exhaustive, cumulative list, but you can go back in the posts to see the previous participants.

(Haden is the USC Atheletic Director, so that’s a really big deal)

These companies wrote a joint letter to Pence et al:

  • Angie’s List, Inc.
  • Anthem, Inc.
  • Cummins Inc.
  • Dow AgroSciences
  • Eli Lilly and Company
  • Emmis Communications Corporation
  • Indiana University Health
  • Roche Diagnostics Corporation
  • Salesforce Marketing Cloud

NASCAR (!)

Marriott

PayPal Founder Max Levchin

Levi Strauss and longtime competitor The Gap (!)

Twitter (the company)

NBA, WNBA, Indiana Pacers and Indiana Fever

American Federation of State, County & Municipal Employees have cancelled their conference in Indiana

The State of New York is calling for a ban for official travel