The War on Women, Cont.

¡JEB! The Smartest Bush® would force women to have their rapists’s baby, just has he forced Terri Schiavo to live on as a vegetable.

The War on Women is real, but we need to remember that it is only one front in the theocrats larger War on Democracy.

¡JEB! is really a craven theocrat.

One Lump of Stupid or Two, Sen. Lankford?

face-palm

“So [abortion generally and Planned Parenthood explicitly] is important to us as well. This is not just a women’s issue, this is a men’s issue as well. Because this is a family issue. And the family is extremely important to all of us.”

–Sen. James Lankford of Oklahoma, mansplaining to Sen. Barbara Boxer.

The Monster Speaks

Trumpenstein Monster from K-N-K

image: courtesy of Scissorhead Keith-not-Keith

“Real-estate mogul Donald Trump said Monday that he is in favor of Republicans moving to shut down the federal government in the Planned Parenthood funding fight.

“I can tell you this: I would,” the presidential candidate said when asked by conservative radio host Hugh Hewitt whether he supports shutting the government down in the fight.”

E-Squared Wants To Take The Kobayashi Maru Out For A Spin

Vikings and Beekeepers

Vikings and Beekeepers

Star Trek nerds know that the Kobayashi Maru is a no-win training scenario that is designed to see how leaders react under pressure of imminent failure:

I mention this only because our old Pal E-Squared has decided to lead his forced-birthers into battle over the lack of willpower to defund Planned Parenthood over the rat-fucking that Y’all Qaeda has long planned:

“If Republicans are not willing to make this their hill to die on and even see the government shutdown to stop this, the Republican Party needs to be shut down.” (emphasis mine)

Please shut it down, Ewick. I’ll be your best pal if you do in the lead-up to the 2016 Goat Rodeo.

“You will be made to care about this. You will not be allowed to sit by and make excuses.”

We have ways of making you talk. Oh, wait. Wrong meme.

UPDATE 1: In a second post (just in case the first one was not clear enough), Dorquemado goes further:

“Republicans in the Congress are beginning to use the word “try.” They will try to defund Planned Parenthood. But the President has a veto and they do not have the votes to override the veto.

“Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-SC) 47% has moved from try to “can’t.” He says Republicans cannot defund Planned Parenthood because of the President’s veto.

“This is really, really simple.”

You know what’s coming, right?

“If Abraham Lincoln’s Party cannot go to war against that where war is not bullets, just a government shut down until the President relents, then Abraham Lincoln’s Party needs to be put on the ash heap of history. It really is that simple.” (emphasis mine)

Your words fascinate me, Eric Son of Eric. I say in the lead-up to the 2016 Goat Rodeo if you want to lead your Christian Soldiers into another theocratic war and shut down the government, go to town. Make sure those seniors who vote have their Social Security checks halted and the planes carrying their beloved grandchildren for a visit are grounded. Good plan.

Lions, and Tigers, and Babies Oh My!

The War on Women, Cont.

And so once again we are reminded of Fran Lebowitz’ quip, “Hello, you don’t know me but my hair dresser occasionally sleeps with your press agent, so why don’t you show me Paris,” in which a series of unrelated things are tied together to benefit the speaker. The Right Wing Outrage Machine is really good at this sort of straw man argument. At first blush it seems cogent, but any examination of the details and it starts to fall apart.

The Planned Parenthood outrage is a strangely timed affair. The Center for Medical Progress (the Xristian Xrazies behind the videos) has said that they have twelve vids to share and have been pushing them out of the factory at about one per week to see them take flight. If my math is right (always dubious) that means that they will be releasing them into the fall, when presumably the 2016 Goat Rodeo will be racing along with all hooves in motion.

The CMP (which has strange ties to Operation Rescue, amongst other forced-birth groups) stated proudly that this is the work of a “a nearly 3-year-long investigative journalism study”, which puts its genesis (see what I did there?) at somewhere around the time that Mitt Romney (‘The Stench’) and Paul Ryan (‘Gilligan’) were still wondering what went wrong on the way to their coronation the White House. I don’t think that this is a coincidence.

The Tweet from Marco ‘Big Gulp’ Rubio (above) is a sort of promise that this disinformation campaign is going to be an issue in the election. Already Sen. Majority Leader Mitch McConnell has put together a panel to defund Planned Parenthood. And according to Fact Check, no taxpayer money goes to Planned Parenthood to provide abortions, so this is really about politics and keeping the Right frothing. The vote to defund Planned Parenthood failed.

Which will keep the issue alive into the fall, even though The Los Angeles Superior Court has issued a temporary restraining order against CMP to stop releasing more videos.

There is not a single doubt in my mind that the War on Women is real, but it is not the final battle from Y’all Qaeda by any means. The real goal of a theocrat is to remove democracy and install their religious world view in its place. That most of the contenders in the 2016 Goat Rodeo are Elmer Gantry wannabes should come as little surprise.

News That Will Drive You To Drink

The right to life ends at birth

The right to life ends at birth

Shorter Townhall: Gay Marriage = More Abortions

My geometry teach told me that a straight line was the shortest distance between two points. Maybe Ryan Anderson skipped class that day? Anyway, his very wordy proof is anything but linear.

Supply and demand relationship -> demand for abortions = breakdown in families -> Breakdown of families = marriage equality -> therefore marriage equality = increased demand for abortions.

QED, Bitchez!

In Which Bobby Jindal Sinks Even Lower

Ah'm as popular as a fart in church back home!

Ah’m as popular as a fart in church back home!

My belief that women have the right to control their bodies is immutable, and so yesterday as the rat-fucking of Planned Parenthood was being picked up by the shouty blogs of Y’all Qaeda, I paid almost no attention. When I checked Memeorandum there was no credible journalistic source listed at all and so I walked past the story. Why echo that crap?

Today it is all over the legit media and somewhere convicted felon and rat-fucking auteur James O’Keefe is smiling as the ghost of ACORN rattles its chains.

For those of you not yet aware, there is a video that purports to show officials of Planned Parenthood discussing the sale of aborted baby parts, but what is really being discussed is how they donate fetal tissue to medical research. The sale? PP asks for the transportation costs to be reimbursed for sending the samples to medical researchers. It does get a little ghoulish as the O’Keefe-style rat-fuckers ask questions about process which requires a response about organs and the like. All medical procedures sound ghoulish to me, I think that is the nature of surgery.

And now for the inevitable: Boy exorcist and noted volcano scholar Bobby Jindal spots an obvious opening to increase his single-digit polling in the 2016 Goat Rodeo and has jumped on the story like a tick on a bayou hound:

“Today’s video of a Planned Parenthood official discussing the systematic harvesting and trafficking of human body parts is shocking and gruesome. This same organization is seeking to open an abortion clinic in New Orleans. I have instructed Louisiana’s Department of Health and Hospitals to conduct an immediate investigation into this alleged evil and illegal activity and to not issue any licenses until this investigation is complete. I am also asking the FBI to assist DHH in investigating this alleged criminal activity by this organization.”

And now in true he-said, she-said journalism fashion, here is Planned Parenthood’s response:

“In health care, patients sometimes want to donate tissue to scientific research that can help lead to medical breakthroughs, such as treatments and cures for serious diseases. Women at Planned Parenthood who have abortions are no different. At several of our health centers, we help patients who want to donate tissue for scientific research, and we do this just like every other high-quality health care provider does — with full, appropriate consent from patients and under the highest ethical and legal standards. There is no financial benefit for tissue donation for either the patient or for Planned Parenthood. In some instances, actual costs, such as the cost to transport tissue to leading research centers, are reimbursed, which is standard across the medical field.

“A well funded group established for the purpose of damaging Planned Parenthood’s mission and services has promoted a heavily edited, secretly recorded videotape that falsely portrays Planned Parenthood’s participation in tissue donation programs that support lifesaving scientific research. Similar false accusations have been put forth by opponents of abortion services for decades. These groups have been widely discredited and their claims fall apart on closer examination, just as they do in this case.”

News That Will Drive You To Drink

Once again, we turn our gimlet eye to Marco ‘Big Gulp’ Rubio, the Cold Warrior for a New Generation, and beloved grandson figure of Wingnuts over the age of 65 and under the age of death:

“Sometimes in contemporary American life, we come to believe that all the great causes are over, that the past generation fought all the important battles: abolition, the Civil Rights Movement, women’s suffrage. But it’s not true. In fact, one of the most important battles is the one that you are engaged in now.”

And thus Big Gulp pledges to be a culture warrior and fight Roe V. Wade until Hell freezes over and then fighting against it on the ice.

Glen Beck’s Time of the Month

Free-range Conspiracy Theorist Glen Beck learns something:

Isn’t theocracy fun? Ladies are slut shamed if they do, sad if they don’t, and blamed if they don’t calf on command. Meanwhile dudes have a god-given Burpee seed factory.

Your 3-Martini Stupid is Served, Gov. Walker

He's a wall-eyed git, but he listens to voters named Koch.

He’s a wall-eyed git, but he listens to voters named Koch.

Abortion Bill Backed By Walker Would Let Fathers Sue For Emotional ‘Distress’

If I understand this correctly, the dude—regardless if he has an on-going relationship with the woman—can sue the physician for distress if the doctor gives his/her patient a safe, constitutionally protected abortion.

Nice to know that a rapist can sue for emotional distress.