News From The Front Lines Of The War on Women

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This is what happens if you don’t take science classes, kids!

BOISE, Idaho — An Idaho lawmaker received a brief lesson on female anatomy after asking if a woman can swallow a small camera for doctors to conduct a remote gynecological exam.

The question Monday from Republican state Rep. Vito Barbieri came as the House State Affairs Committee heard nearly three hours of testimony on a bill that would ban doctors from prescribing abortion-inducing medication through telemedicine.

Dr. Julie Madsen was testifying in opposition to the bill when Barbieri asked the question. Madsen replied that would be impossible because swallowed pills do not end up in the vagina.

“Fascinating. That makes sense,” Barbieri said, amid the crowd’s laughter.

Because We Love A GOP Apology

Hey guys, remember that time some Wingnut from West Virginia told us that rape babies are beautiful and that’s why women should carry them to term? (All together now: “Me Neither!”) — Well, Rep. Brian Kurcaba has apologized in the best good mannered way of Y’all Qaeda:

Kurcaba, a Republican from Monongalia, issued a statement Friday apologizing to “anyone who took my comments about the sanctity of human life to mean anything other than that all children are precious regardless of circumstances.”

Take that, sluts.

One Lump of Stupid or Two?

“Obviously rape is awful,” West Virginia Del. Brian Kurcaba (R) said during a committee hearing on a new abortion restriction, according to David Gutman, a Charleston Gazette reporter. “What is beautiful is the child that could come from this.”

(HuffPo)

One Lump of Stupid or Two, Gohmert?

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Shorter Screwie Louie: he should just paraphrase Freud: “What do broads really want?” But here’s what he really said:

“Most of the conference was 100 percent in favor of the bill that was going to be brought to the floor. Some of us were wishing that there would not be any exceptions because it was going to be 20 weeks — no abortions after 20 weeks — when the evidence is clear those babies feel.”

Most of the conference was 100% in favor of having it be a complete ban? I wonder who was not in favor? Tell us more, Screwie Louie!

“But there was an exception put on there that unless there was a case of reported rape — reported to authorities. Well, that became the dividing factor among some of our female members of the House, Republican female members. But some were adamant they didn’t want any exceptions, some were saying, no, we [should] not require it be reported to authorities.”

Oh, boy, more rape talk from Republicans!

“I’m told that they’re still going to bring it back, but because there was such division among our Republican females, they pulled the bill that day,” he said. “And that was extremely unfortunate, and it sent the entirely wrong message.”

“It was our Republican broads,” Louie didn’t say, “who wanted a legitimate rape exception for our abortion ban.”

The Stupid, It BUUUUUUUURNS!

Beanie Baby Mosters

The Pride of Colorado, Sen. Kevin Lundberg, is opposing efforts to continue an anti-poverty program that provides IUDs to poor women. Let’s hear him tell us why:

“Protecting life is a very big issue. In my mind, that’s what government is all about, and to protect the life of the most vulnerable and most innocent seems to be the most important.”

Lundberg asserted that the notion that IUDs don’t cause abortions was “poor science.” He argued that the birth control method included the possibility of “stopping a small child from implanting.”

(Hat tip: @Anomaly100 on the electric Twitter-Twatter machine)

GOP Women Are Revolting

So Republican’s Y’all Qaeda faction accidentally lost the latest skirmish on the War on Women when the Republican Women in Congress scuttled the 20-week abortion ban:

House Republican leaders abruptly dropped plans late Wednesday to hold votes on an anti-abortion bill amid a revolt by female GOP lawmakers concerned that the legislation’s restrictive language would once again spoil the party’s chances of broadening its appeal to women and younger voters.

…again, not because banning abortions is bad policy, but because it might hurt them electorally. I’ll take it as a victory, regardless. And as we pointed out previously, it marks the return of the Todd Akin Legitimate Rape Theory which states that the rape didn’t happen if the woman didn’t report it to the police and go through the loving embrace of the Criminal Justice System. And, you know, her body has a way of shutting that down.

Just as a reminder: the position of MPS is that the War on Women is real, and it is a front in the much larger War on Democracy that the theocrats are waging.

The GOP Rebranding, Cont.

Spanking just liked dear old dadThere continues to be some glitches in obvious anagram Reince Priebus’ epic rebranding of The Confederacy, er, GOP:

Several Republican congresswomen are reportedly splitting from their party on a national abortion bill that’s scheduled for a vote in the House next week, raising concerns that the legislation is too extreme and will alienate female voters.

Oh. And what is it about this bill that finally has GOP women alarmed?

As Politico reports, Ellmers is also concerned that the proposed abortion ban has a particularly narrow exception for rape victims. As the bill is currently written, in order to qualify for the exemption, women who became pregnant from rape must have reported their assault to law enforcement officials.

Ah, a permutation of Todd Akin’s Theory of Legitimate Rape (women’s body’s have a way of shutting down a rape-baby): to be a legitimate rape, the woman has to submit to gentle, probing intrusions from the legal system—starting with the local guys whom she might have gone to high school with—or otherwise it didn’t happen. Got it.

But here’s the paragraph that jumps out to me (emphasis mine) that I think gives away the duplicitous game:

However, the National Journal reports that a group of GOP women led by Rep. Renee Ellmers (R-NC) have started pushing back against the legislation, expressing concerns during a closed-door meeting of House Republicans. Ellmers reportedly said she is worried that voting on the 20-week ban will alienate young female voters, urging her colleagues “to be smart about how we’re moving forward.”

So these Republican women are not worried about this being bad policy, they are worried about it being bad for recruiting. I mean, if you are being fine, upstanding Xristians, and you are taking a stand on a moral issue, then you should let the chips fall where they may. Also/too alienating people is the GOP core competency, and as long as the not-alienated (Y’all Qaeda in this case) comes to the polls, what does it matter? This bill is designed for them, not for (young) women.

It’s All About Them

So these Xristian men want to apologize for letting women have an abortion, because even when women take charge of their lives and make decisions about their own bodies, it’s all about them.

Fuck them.

“I should’ve manned up and I should’ve fought for you and — I didn’t. I didn’t.”

“Somebody should’ve been there to rescue you, but you do have a rescuer. You don’t have to live in shame and darkness, you can run to God’s light.”

Just stop it, boys. It is not about you, it’s about women’s right to control their own destiny. They don’t need YOU to rescue THEM. You feel shitty that you were a lousy person, that’s your issue, but you have no right to tell these women what they can do to make YOU feel better about yourselves.

Just stop it.

The Culture Wars Are Over, Right?

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Hey guys, remember The Rebranding that obvious anagram Reince Priebus announced after Y’all Qaeda lost the 2012 Goat Rodeo? You know, how Wingnuttia was going to be new, improved, and lemon-scented so the skirts, the blahs, and the yoots of today would learn to love the Republican Party?

Didn’t last long.

On Tuesday, the very first day of the 114th Congress, two lawmakers introduced a measure to ban abortions after 20 weeks, in direct violation of the protections afforded under Roe v. Wade. Reps. Trent Franks (R-AZ) and Marsha Blackburn (R-TN) reintroduced the Pain Capable Unborn Child Protection Act, the same legislation that successfully passed the House last year.

Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-SC) — who introduced a companion 20-week abortion ban in the Senate last year that was stalled by Democratic leadership — has already indicated that he plans to re-introduce his own measure in the next few weeks, too. Now that the Senate is GOP-controlled, Republicans are anticipating that they’ll have enough support to pass the ban in both chambers this year, helping the anti-choice community gain momentum for this particular tactic to limit reproductive rights.

Now, of course (should it pass) it will be vetoed by The Kenyan Usurper because choice is only core issue that The Dims will ever stand for (and even then, rather reluctantly), and besides Wingnuttia is probably only doing this to throw a crumb to their fetus-fonding, god-botherers in the base. They will make some good coin on it, too, from the rubes in the Confederacy.

But for anyone who believed them when they gave you their rictus grins and swore that The Culture Wars were over, you have yourselves to blame for not voting.

Your Bottomless Mug of Stupid

Our new pal Missouri State rep. Rick Brattin explains his bill requiring women to have written consent from a man before she can have an abortion, you know, even following a legitimate rape.

You see, his bill is about men’s rights:

“Right now the way it is the woman gets the full say and the father gets no say, and I think that that needs to change. With the women’s movement for equal rights, well it’s swung so far we have now taken away the man’s right and the say in their child’s life.”