Rand Paul Keeps On Running…

…away from his previous positions.

Rand Paul wants to be left alone

“When you’re in the neonatal nursery and you’ve got a one-pound baby, everybody acknowledges that that baby has rights, the Bill of Rights applies to that baby and nobody can hurt that baby. It’s a one-pound baby. But a week before, even a full-term seven-pound baby has no rights, according to the way people are looking at it, and I think that is a big mistake.”

– Famous plagiarist, Ayn Rand Fanboi, likely 2016 Goat Rodeo Contender and Hair Club for Men most wanted list designate Sen. Aqua Buddha, who recently said that he wouldn’t try to knock down Roe V. Wade, you know, when he was NOT talking to the Xristians. He has introduced Personhood legislation in Congress, which his idol Ayn Rand would hate.

Hobby Lobby Ain’t Got Nothing On Me


Boss: We’re glad you applied for a job with ACME moving company. Can you lift boxes weighing 40 lbs?
Applicant: Yes I can. But I won’t lift them.
Boss: You do know that lifting boxes is a big part of this job?
Applicant: Yes.
Boss: Your resume says you’re part of an organization that promotes “Anti Box Lifting”.
Applicant: Yes.
Boss: Well I don’t think you’re cut out for this position. Thanks anyway.
Applicant: I’m suing you.

And so it goes. It sounds like a set-up from the get go: Sara Hellwege, soon to be graduating nurse in Georgia with a membership in an anti-abortion organization, applies for a job at a Title X clinic in Florida, gets rejected as a candidate for a position because she refuses to perform a large portion of the proposed job, files federal law suit alleging religious discrimination. Again we see birth control being equated with abortifacients in the lawsuit.

Santorum in the News (eew gross!)

rick-santorum-busy-fist

EchoLight Studios, run by former presidential candidate Rick Santorum, said Monday it will release a movie Sep. 1 that explores the Hobby Lobby Supreme Court decision that was handed down Monday.

I’m sure it will be boffo box-office, just like the Christmas Candle ($7M to make and earned $2M). They will be releasing it to Churches first.

(Hollywood Reporter)

Hey Reince, How’s That Rebranding Working? Texas Edition

Stolen from Juanita Jean’s

This is an opposition ad for Texas Gubinatorial Candidate Wendy Davis, presumably put up by supporters of Xristian Xrazie Greg Abbott. If you feel so compelled, please visit Juanita Jean’s where she lists various ways you can help; you don’t have to be in Texas, by the way.

The Morning Quote

Rubio and Charlie McCarthy

Rake-stepping operations have commenced. I repeat, rake-stepping operations have commenced:

Let me give you a bit of settled science that they’ll never admit to,” Rubio told Hannity. “Science is settled, it’s not even a consensus, it is a unanimity, that human life beings at conception.

TWAP!

Um, Marco, those Personhood amendments are not introduced by scientists.

On a related note, how’s that rebranding thing working for ya, Reince?

Dancing with the Harlots

bristol-the-naughty-nun

Unwed mother, reality teevee star and chin implantée Brisket® Palin has an important announcement: She’s been reading The Good Book!!1! (We didn’t know that she was literate!) And she tells us about one of the sentences she thinks she understood:

The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life, but violence overwhelms the mouth of the wicked.” Proverbs 10:11

I understand after Brisket® finishes, a little of the fountain of life dribbles down her new chin. Have some mouthwash on us, Brisket and do continue:

The part about “the mouth of the righteous” being the “fountain of life” totally reminds me of the wonderful activists in the pro-life movement!!!

If you mean that they never close their yaps, we are in agreement.

On the other hand, it also makes me picture pro-abortion advocates and the violence they preach… it just makes me sick. They have “mouths of the wicked,” because they and spew so much violence toward people who are only trying to protect innocent life.

Please tell that to Dr. Tiller. I’m sure he would be comforted to know that, you silly twit.

(Patheos)

In which Twitchy gets trolled

I gotta tip my hat to the DC Abortion Fund:

Donors who sign up to give $10/month or more receive a coat hanger pendant as a token of our thanks

Which, predictably sent the winged monkeys at low-rent Ann Coulter wannabe Michelle Malkkkin’s Twitchy (unlinked for obvious reasons) into overdrive:

But as Wonkette sagely notes, the joke is on them:

If you give the DC Abortion Fund $10 a month, you’ll get a tiny coat hanger, ideal for wearing as a pendant or neatly storing your pet hamster’s tuxedo, which would also make a pretty cool pendant. Of course, for DCAF’s tactic to work, the anti-choice crowd had to cooperate by totally failing to realize that the coat hanger is a joke at their expense — that if they succeed in banning abortion, the old horror days of coat hangers and tumbles down stairs and thousands of dead women will inevitably return. So did they cooperate? Did they fail to realize that they are the real coat hangers? Oh Twitchy, did they ever!

Anyway, go to Wonkette, this is their story, and it is damn good.

The Lunchtime Quote

“I don’t expect to be in the room or will I do anything to prevent you from obtaining a contraceptive,” Martin wrote. “However, once a child does exist in your womb, I’m not going to assume a right to kill it just because the child’s host (some refer to them as mothers) doesn’t want it.”

Virginia State Sen. Steve Martin (R)

The Afternoon Quote, MLK Day Edition

teabagging for jeebus

“Today is Martin Luther King Day. Martin Luther King did a lot to help us as we struggled with racial equality and justice, friendship and kindness between the races, and we celebrate that achievement. What I want to say to you today is, I too have a dream.”

“When we consider the 55 million unborn children that have been killed in this land since 1973, I too have a dream. When we consider that one-third of the generation since 1973 is not with us because of abortion, I have a dream. And what it is? I have a dream that one day each and every unborn baby created in the image of God will enjoy the same constitutional protections that you and I receive.”

–Richard Cash, who is one of the many Teabaggers challenging Senatorette Huckleberry Closetcase in South Carolina

The Evening Quote

“I would suggest that it is very much the case that those of us in the majority support this legislation because it is the morally right thing to do, but it is also very very true that having a growing population and having new children brought into the world is not harmful to job creation. It very much promotes job creation for all the care and services and so on that need to be provided by a lot of people to raise children.”

–Bob Goodlatte (R-Va.), Judiciary Committee Chairman, opining that legislating against Choice does, in fact, create jobs.