News That Will Drive You To Drink: Rand Paul Edition

Rand-Paul--Robocop

We keep reminding everyone that famous plagiarist, immigrant-dodging land-speed record holder and shag-carpet topped SEN. RAND PAUL is the biggest fraud in the Senate (and that takes some doing), but here’s more evidence:

Despite claiming that he opposes “changing any of the laws” on abortion rights and birth control, Sen. Rand Paul remains the chief sponsor of the federal personhood bill, the Life at Conception Act, in the U.S. Senate.

In fact, Paul is now signing emails on behalf of a the National Pro-Life Alliance, a group founded with the explicit goal of passing personhood laws banning abortion and common forms of birth control.

In a fundraising email for the group today, the Kentucky senator and likely presidential candidate touts his personhood bill, saying that it would stop “the slaughter” and effectively overturn Roe v. Wade. He adds that now that Republicans control both chambers of Congress, the personhood movement is in “a better than ever position” to force a vote on the bill.

The always excellent Right Wing Watch has the full story.

Here’s Your Happy Hour Stupid, On the Rocks

News that will drive you to drink

baby  sitting my way

Janet Porter’s long still-born heartbeat bill just made it’s way out of committee (once they replaced legislators who would vote against it with those who would support it) in Ohio:

A bill to ban abortions in Ohio once a fetal heartbeat is detected passed a House committee this morning, after the panel was altered to help ensure passage.

The bill passed 10-6 on a party-line vote with Democrats, including Rep. Mike Curtin of Marble Cliff, voting against it.

Prior to the morning hearing of the House Health and Aging Committee, some expected Republican “no” votes were removed, replaced with members who would support the legislation.

Some Fries With Your Stupid?

Matt Barber, the man who only thinks about hot, sweaty man-on-man sex with thighs like pistons that can pump all night, writes an lovely open letter to women who have had an abortion:

Know this about your choice: Yes, you are still a mother. Yes, you have killed your child… you purchased a bouquet of lies awash in the foul stench of death. You were told that for a few hundred dollars you could buy freedom, only to be bound by a horrible thing that, in this life, cannot be undone… Your blood-covered hands can be washed clean by the blood-covered hands of Christ the Savior.

He’s so very loving. But then Barber tells us about his own abortion:

I’m the father of five beautiful children, three of whom are with me and two of whom are in heaven. My wife and I lost our first child together in miscarriage; but long before that, my first child died at the hands of an abortionist…

“My mom thought it was right for me to tell you,” she said, “that I had an abortion and the kid was yours.”

Her mom sat in the car behind her glaring at me. I’ll never forget the expression on her face. It was a jarring blend of contempt, anger and pain…

I mourn the loss of my first child. I can’t know for sure, but I’ve always envisioned a girl. Today, she’d be about 27. Perhaps I’d be a grandfather by now.

So you see, it’s all about Matt. It is always all about Matt.

Abortion kills God’s children and hurts women and men alike. Your child has an earthly father, too, regardless of whether he took responsibility.

Abortion makes men fathers of dead sons and daughters.

Oh. Correction: it is about men.

Great Ads, Cont.

my baby 1

I think this is actually kinda good. How do you show the benefits of a product that prevents you from doing something? Besides showing that it gives women the ability to follow their dreams by controlling their bodies, it doesn’t come close to slut shaming them.

(Hat tip: Scissorhead Mr. C. Montgomery Burns)

Some White Whine With Your Stupid?

I’m really worried about the Rebranding, Reince:

Really, Reince? Closing down 80% of the remaining abortion clinics in Texas and forcing women to drive for 300 miles is compassion?

Rand Paul Keeps On Running…

…away from his previous positions.

Rand Paul wants to be left alone

“When you’re in the neonatal nursery and you’ve got a one-pound baby, everybody acknowledges that that baby has rights, the Bill of Rights applies to that baby and nobody can hurt that baby. It’s a one-pound baby. But a week before, even a full-term seven-pound baby has no rights, according to the way people are looking at it, and I think that is a big mistake.”

– Famous plagiarist, Ayn Rand Fanboi, likely 2016 Goat Rodeo Contender and Hair Club for Men most wanted list designate Sen. Aqua Buddha, who recently said that he wouldn’t try to knock down Roe V. Wade, you know, when he was NOT talking to the Xristians. He has introduced Personhood legislation in Congress, which his idol Ayn Rand would hate.

Hobby Lobby Ain’t Got Nothing On Me


Boss: We’re glad you applied for a job with ACME moving company. Can you lift boxes weighing 40 lbs?
Applicant: Yes I can. But I won’t lift them.
Boss: You do know that lifting boxes is a big part of this job?
Applicant: Yes.
Boss: Your resume says you’re part of an organization that promotes “Anti Box Lifting”.
Applicant: Yes.
Boss: Well I don’t think you’re cut out for this position. Thanks anyway.
Applicant: I’m suing you.

And so it goes. It sounds like a set-up from the get go: Sara Hellwege, soon to be graduating nurse in Georgia with a membership in an anti-abortion organization, applies for a job at a Title X clinic in Florida, gets rejected as a candidate for a position because she refuses to perform a large portion of the proposed job, files federal law suit alleging religious discrimination. Again we see birth control being equated with abortifacients in the lawsuit.

Santorum in the News (eew gross!)

rick-santorum-busy-fist

EchoLight Studios, run by former presidential candidate Rick Santorum, said Monday it will release a movie Sep. 1 that explores the Hobby Lobby Supreme Court decision that was handed down Monday.

I’m sure it will be boffo box-office, just like the Christmas Candle ($7M to make and earned $2M). They will be releasing it to Churches first.

(Hollywood Reporter)

Hey Reince, How’s That Rebranding Working? Texas Edition

Stolen from Juanita Jean’s

This is an opposition ad for Texas Gubinatorial Candidate Wendy Davis, presumably put up by supporters of Xristian Xrazie Greg Abbott. If you feel so compelled, please visit Juanita Jean’s where she lists various ways you can help; you don’t have to be in Texas, by the way.

The Morning Quote

Rubio and Charlie McCarthy

Rake-stepping operations have commenced. I repeat, rake-stepping operations have commenced:

Let me give you a bit of settled science that they’ll never admit to,” Rubio told Hannity. “Science is settled, it’s not even a consensus, it is a unanimity, that human life beings at conception.

TWAP!

Um, Marco, those Personhood amendments are not introduced by scientists.

On a related note, how’s that rebranding thing working for ya, Reince?