The Quotable Grandpa Walnuts


“This terrible tragedy [the bombing of the hospital in Afghanistan where Doctors Without Borders were treating victims on the on-going battles] would not have occurred if the Taliban had not attacked the place to start with. I find it ludicrous and insulting that people would say because of this terrible accident that somehow war crimes are committed. To call that a war crime distorts the definition of a war crime.”

Sure, that makes sense: war crimes cannot happen in war zones. Got it.

¡JEB! The Smartest Bush® Speaks, Falls on Face

NotChimpy and Chimpy

NotChimpy and Chimpy

Is ¡JEB! The Smartest Bush® really this stupid?

¡JEB! only reminds us that his brother Chimpy was in charge before 9/11 and failed. But you know, Chimpy’s Reign of Error started on 9/12.

¡JEB! might as well have linked to the ad himself, as I found it right away on the first google search:

Falling… into history

Got it: white is patriotic.

Got it: white is patriotic.

[Ed: We’ve been running this post since the blog began nearly a decade ago. It is from the SF Chronicle from 2006, which seems like a lifetime ago, when we were younger and perhaps innocent. This essay has fallen into the void and is no longer on the Chron’s servers. I want to ensure that it remains on the web, so I am including it verbatim.

It was written by Neva Chonin, who has long since gone from The Chron. I still think this essay remains the best writing about September 11 that I have encountered. Oh, we’re keeping it on top today–Tengrain]

He’s one of those average men you pass without noticing. A little tubby, wearing beige Dockers and a pink polo shirt. Not much to look at, were it not for the fact that this particular guy is flying. No, flying is the wrong word — he’s falling, falling through the blue sky, a lifetime of memories clutched in his outstretched hands and nothing we know about below.

He’s falling into history.

I can’t remember when or why I started Googling the words “Sept. 11” and “falling.” I was looking for … something. Chills? Answers? What I found were pictures of the jumpers — the people trapped on the upper floors of the World Trade Center on Sept. 11, 2001, who chose to breathe free one last time before dying. Some leaped from their offices holding hands, lines of them, clinging to one another until gravity and wind tore them apart. A solo jumper, dubbed “The Falling Man” by media, went on to become emblematic of that day’s unanswered questions.

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Some Fries With Your Stupid?

If I were Faith 2 Action’s notoriously nutty Janet Porter, I wouldn’t be bragging that I threw the election to Chimpy McStagger back in 2000, even through Divine intervention (though I suspect it was probably intervention of a different sort). It might make her an accomplice should he ever be brought to trial for his many crimes against humanity.

Your Claim Chowder Is Served

NotChimpy and Chimpy

NotChimpy and Chimpy

The Washington Examiner noticed the same thing we noticed:

“Quinnipiac pollsters asked respondents a simple, open-ended question: “What is the first word that comes to mind when you think of Jeb Bush?” Quinnipiac published a table of all the responses given five or more times. Here is the list of the top eight responses for Jeb, including the number of times people mentioned each particular word:

Bush — 136

family — 70

honest — 53

weak — 45

brother — 41

dynasty — 40

experience — 35

George — 28

By far, the first word that the most people thought of about Jeb Bush was not a word at all, but rather his last name. What’s the first thing you think of when you think about Jeb? Bush. And then the next most common response was “family.” And then “brother” and “dynasty” and “George.” When people see Jeb, they don’t think, this is an attractive candidate for president. They think “Bush.””

¡JEB! the Smartest Bush® done everything except renounce his citizenship (Hi Ted! Canada thanks you!) to disavow his family brand, and yet it keeps haunting him.

Some Fries With Your Stupid, ¡JEB! ?

NotChimpy and Chimpy

NotChimpy and Chimpy

George W. Bush to headline NYC fundraiser for Jeb a day before 9/11

OK, it’s absolutely clear that ¡JEB! the Smartest Bush® campaign is both trolling us and is some sort of performance art piece.

Seriously, does ¡JEB! have no advisors?

The Morning Quote

"Where are the rabbits, George?"

“Where are the rabbits, George?”

To me, the provisions in this [Iran] deal are like telling teenage boys, not only can you have the doors closed, but we got to shout up the stairs before we walk up the steps, ‘Hey, we’re coming up to check and see what you’re doing. Just want to give you advance notice.’ It makes no sense.

Sweet Baby Jeebus this man is stupid. Nuclear weapons and all the infrastructure that they include to build them are not a Playboy magazine quickly hidden under the mattress. You’d think that the search for the never-found WMDs of Chimpy’s Great Adventure would be sort of a reference point, wouldn’t ya?

The Tweet Of The Moment

I think ¡JEB! the Smartest Bush® was talking about noted War Criminal Dick ‘Blam-Blam’ Cheney’s stock portfolio? Or maybe we should count this as another strike. Dude gets one more swing at Iran and then he’s out.

One Lump of Stupid or Two, ¡JEB! ?

NotChimpy and Chimpy

NotChimpy and Chimpy

If there is one thing I would be doing with all my heart and soul if I were advising ¡JEB! the smartest Bush® it would be trying to NOT remind everyone that I am Generalissimo Chimpy McStagger’s kid brother:

Jeb Bush to assail Clinton, Obama on Iraq

Tiger Beat on the Potomac (thanks Charlie!) breathlessly tells us:

“Bush, who will speak at the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library in Simi Valley on Tuesday evening, will argue, as he often does on the campaign trail, that Clinton and Obama are to blame for the spread of ISIL across Iraq and Syria and for the broader instability in the Middle East.”

So Chimpy built it, but they should have destroyed it if they were any good at their jobs? Is that really your message?

Also/Too: good idea to give this speech with this message at the Reagan Library. Why not sell a few weapons to Iran while you are there, ¡JEB!?

Popcorn, anyone?
Deer Eating Popcorn

Who Has Your Back?

spy-vs-spy1The Electronic Frontier Foundation has posted their list of major Internet companies and service providers and which ones are defending your privacy from the over-reach of the federal government spying on us.

The chart is handy, but the analysis is better. Read the whole thing.