Stratego for Grown-ups

Toy PlaneI’m not at all trained in the so-called art of warfare. I missed out on the various gulf adventures that the Bush Crime Family inflicted on us, and so I know nothing of strategy except what I gleaned from watching Top Gun in my jaded golden youth. I know less about tactics.

Lt. Col. Robert Bateman, who blogs with Brother Pierce at Esquire, however does know a great deal about strategy and tactics.

I bring this up only because today Turkey shot down a Russian fighter plane after warning them multiple times that the plane was in Turkey’s airspace.

Says Bateman:

“Investigative reporters are repeatedly reminded three words: “Follow the money.” Always good advice. But military strategists also have a similar saying: “Tactics wins battles, but logistics wins wars.” So how does this apply to Putin and his efforts in a place that does not immediately adjoin his own borders?

“Well, yeah, he can provide food and armaments to those bases he has in Syria via airlift. That is possible, given the fairly small amount required to support Russia’s really limited forces in Syria, and even what they bring in to support Assad. But there is one immutable thing about Putin’s Russian forces in Syria, one that they can’t avoid. They need fuel.

“This is an issue, why? Because to supply the amount of fuel needed by an air campaign requires more than just an airlift. It has to come via sea. Getting fuel from Russia itself to the Russian bases on the coast of Syria involves getting from the Black Sea to the Mediterranean. Bit of a problem that, since that means going through the Dardanelles. Turkey, in short, owns Russia on that count. Unless Russia wants to start a shooting war with all of NATO.”

I believe in Bateman’s analysis, you know, based upon my extensive playing of Stratego (and never once winning).

The thing that gets lost in all of this is that Russia is supporting the brutal dictator Assad in a civil war there. Russia is not fighting ISIS, and if anything their actions might be empowering them (“the enemies of my enemies…”). They are certainly creating the refugee crisis. Not that reality matters to Wingnuttia, because it is easier to blame Obama than understand what is actually going on.

Hey Freud!



“I am lost between the glory of Reagan — monuments everywhere, trumpets, the great hero — and the trials and tribulations of my sons.”

— Former President George H.W. Bush

Is there a term that’s sort of like the Oedipus Complex (kill the daddy and marry the mommy), but when the Dad wants to murder the children? Anyway, it might explain the bru-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha over Poppy’s biography that has upturned ¡JEB! The Smartest Bush® campaign, what with saying that Blam-Blam and Rummy commandeered Chimpy’s Reign of Error and turned it into a cluster-fuck of unimaginable, un, fuckery.

It seems like every week someone from The Bush Crime Family reveals something that ¡JEB! was not prepared to deal with. But I would think that even a noted former pot-head like ¡JEB! must have been aware that there was a book in the works. Or perhaps it is the case that with that family’s trademarked lack of curiosity he didn’t think to ask? Or is it the case that Poppy did not think about telling him what he was saying? (see my question to Freud, above)

I’m guessing it is a combo of both. Babs-the-Impaler’s family is nothing if not dysfunctional, but I think feral might be a better word.

I Didn’t Know That… (UPDATED)

ThinkProgress did snark.

Best. Sunday. Read. Ever.

UPDATE 1: But it gets better: let’s watch Jake Tapper kick ¡JEB! in the oompa-loompas:

UPDATE 2: ¡JEB!, who is not pathetic, is now fundraising off of Chimpy’s failure to protect us.

Manhattan to go apeshit in 3… 2…

One Lump of Stupid or Two?

¡JEB! is a son-of-a-Babs

¡JEB! is a son-of-a-Babs

“As a Floridian, I’m a little disappointed, because he’s missing, like, 35 percent of his votes. And it’s just, kind of, like, dude, you know, either drop out or do something, but we’re paying you to do something, it ain’t run for president.”

— JEB Bush Jr., who is, like, the Bush Family Brain trust, like, dude, or something, like, princeling regent? like maybe, or like something? Like fer sure!

I think this is the kid best known for having public sex with an under-aged girl. And of course the Bush Family signature move: public intox.

¡JEB! Goes Trump, and How’s That Rebranding Workin’ For Ya Reince?

The Smartest Bush®

The Smartest Bush®

“Our message is one of hope and aspiration,” [¡JEB!] said at the East Cooper Republican Women’s Club annual Shrimp Dinner. “It isn’t one of division and get in line and we’ll take care of you with free stuff. Our message is one that is uplifting — that says you can achieve earned success.”

Why are all the dogs barking, ¡JEB!?

OK, we’ve heard variations on this theme from Willard in 2012, and other members of The New Confederacy, and I suppose it passes for conventional wisdom in Wingnuttia that all the blahs (thanks Rick Santorum) want is free stuff.

The Republican establishment thinks ¡JEB! is going to somehow win minority votes insulting the minorities? ¡JEB! is the dim star that they are hitching their wagon too? But then again, I suppose given the Bush Crime Family’s well-known predilection for Loyalty and Patronage, the Establishment is all lined up for their own free stuff.

Too cynical? Look no further than well-known war criminal Dick Cheney’s Halliburton. How much free stuff did they get?

(Crooks and Liars)

Some Fries With Your Stupid?

If I were Faith 2 Action’s notoriously nutty Janet Porter, I wouldn’t be bragging that I threw the election to Chimpy McStagger back in 2000, even through Divine intervention (though I suspect it was probably intervention of a different sort). It might make her an accomplice should he ever be brought to trial for his many crimes against humanity.

Your Claim Chowder Is Served

NotChimpy and Chimpy

NotChimpy and Chimpy

The Washington Examiner noticed the same thing we noticed:

“Quinnipiac pollsters asked respondents a simple, open-ended question: “What is the first word that comes to mind when you think of Jeb Bush?” Quinnipiac published a table of all the responses given five or more times. Here is the list of the top eight responses for Jeb, including the number of times people mentioned each particular word:

Bush — 136

family — 70

honest — 53

weak — 45

brother — 41

dynasty — 40

experience — 35

George — 28

By far, the first word that the most people thought of about Jeb Bush was not a word at all, but rather his last name. What’s the first thing you think of when you think about Jeb? Bush. And then the next most common response was “family.” And then “brother” and “dynasty” and “George.” When people see Jeb, they don’t think, this is an attractive candidate for president. They think “Bush.””

¡JEB! the Smartest Bush® done everything except renounce his citizenship (Hi Ted! Canada thanks you!) to disavow his family brand, and yet it keeps haunting him.

The Return of Pickles

Pickles Von Strap-On Goes Camping!

People Magazine (tastes great, less filling) tells us that Pickles Bush is a great big ol’ out doors gal, who has been hiking with some of her ol’ pals on a yearly outing:

“We laugh the whole time we walk, even when we’re miserable in pouring rain, and always make it into a funny story at the end,” Bush says. “That’s the great part of hiking with just women.”

“The uther fun part,” Pickles did not add, “is being fur-brained in th’ great outdoors. Mmmm, Xanax: it’s what’s fer breakfast, y’all.”

If We Lived In a Just World…

Happy Birthday to…

Only The Good Die Young

Babs gets a whiff.

Babs gets a whiff.

Babs-the-Impaler! She turns 90 today.

And in honor of this event, some brainiac at NBC sent over one of Chimpy’s spawn to interview her. Here’s the best part:

Babs-the-Impaler : “I’ve promised that during this next campaign season, I will not talk. … No, I won’t give any interviews. … I don’t tweet. … No Instagram. … I’m not gonna be musing about someone who does something stupid in the campaign. … I’m gonna stop voicing my opinion and sticking up for things I think are right. Except my boy. I think he’s brilliant.” …

Lint Twin: “I assume you mean Jeb.”

Babs-the-Impaler : “Right.” (LAUGHTER)

So even Babs-the-Impaler thinks the fruit of her loins are water heads.