Some Fries With Your Stupid?

If I were Faith 2 Action’s notoriously nutty Janet Porter, I wouldn’t be bragging that I threw the election to Chimpy McStagger back in 2000, even through Divine intervention (though I suspect it was probably intervention of a different sort). It might make her an accomplice should he ever be brought to trial for his many crimes against humanity.

Your Claim Chowder Is Served

NotChimpy and Chimpy

NotChimpy and Chimpy

The Washington Examiner noticed the same thing we noticed:

“Quinnipiac pollsters asked respondents a simple, open-ended question: “What is the first word that comes to mind when you think of Jeb Bush?” Quinnipiac published a table of all the responses given five or more times. Here is the list of the top eight responses for Jeb, including the number of times people mentioned each particular word:

Bush — 136

family — 70

honest — 53

weak — 45

brother — 41

dynasty — 40

experience — 35

George — 28

By far, the first word that the most people thought of about Jeb Bush was not a word at all, but rather his last name. What’s the first thing you think of when you think about Jeb? Bush. And then the next most common response was “family.” And then “brother” and “dynasty” and “George.” When people see Jeb, they don’t think, this is an attractive candidate for president. They think “Bush.””

¡JEB! the Smartest Bush® done everything except renounce his citizenship (Hi Ted! Canada thanks you!) to disavow his family brand, and yet it keeps haunting him.

The Return of Pickles

Pickles Von Strap-On Goes Camping!

People Magazine (tastes great, less filling) tells us that Pickles Bush is a great big ol’ out doors gal, who has been hiking with some of her ol’ pals on a yearly outing:

“We laugh the whole time we walk, even when we’re miserable in pouring rain, and always make it into a funny story at the end,” Bush says. “That’s the great part of hiking with just women.”

“The uther fun part,” Pickles did not add, “is being fur-brained in th’ great outdoors. Mmmm, Xanax: it’s what’s fer breakfast, y’all.”

If We Lived In a Just World…

Happy Birthday to…

Only The Good Die Young

Babs gets a whiff.

Babs gets a whiff.

Babs-the-Impaler! She turns 90 today.

And in honor of this event, some brainiac at NBC sent over one of Chimpy’s spawn to interview her. Here’s the best part:

Babs-the-Impaler : “I’ve promised that during this next campaign season, I will not talk. … No, I won’t give any interviews. … I don’t tweet. … No Instagram. … I’m not gonna be musing about someone who does something stupid in the campaign. … I’m gonna stop voicing my opinion and sticking up for things I think are right. Except my boy. I think he’s brilliant.” …

Lint Twin: “I assume you mean Jeb.”

Babs-the-Impaler : “Right.” (LAUGHTER)

So even Babs-the-Impaler thinks the fruit of her loins are water heads.

The Evening Quote

NotChimpy and Chimpy

NotChimpy and Chimpy

“This is hard for me to be honest with you. I have to do the Heisman on my brother that I love, you know? This is not something I’m comfortable doing. But I’m my own person. I have my own life experience, and I will be successful if I’m a candidate when I share my heart and I talk about what I’ve done as governor of the state, where I cut taxes, reduced the state government workforce by 11 percent, moved the state to a AAA bond rating.”

NotChimpy, the Smart Bush®

Oh. Doing the Heisman. I mean, as far as I can tell.

Iraq Takes Its Toll

The Clusterf*** Continues!

NotChimpy and Chimpy

NotChimpy and Chimpy

Oh, Lawdy, The Smart Bush is clarifying his position AGAIN:

  1. He would have gone into Iraq knowing what we know today
  2. He misheard the question.
  3. Won’t answer the question because it would be “a disservice” to the troops who lost their lives. (The disservice was sending them there, Jeb.)
  4. “I would not have engaged. I would not have gone into Iraq.”

Jebbie just isn’t very good at this thing, politics, now is he?

The 3-Martini Stupid is Served, Gov. Bush

NotChimpy and Chimpy

NotChimpy and Chimpy

“If you want to know who I listen to for advice, it’s [Chimpy],” [NotChimpy] Bush said Tuesday about Israel, according to The Post’s sources. (Business Insider)

Is there anyone out there who still thinks Jeb is The Smart Bush®?

One Lump of Stupid or Two, TBOTP

NotChimpy and Chimpy

NotChimpy and Chimpy

Tiger Beat on the Potomac (Thanks Charlie!) breathlessly brings us the morning cuppa stupid:

LAS VEGAS — Former President George W. Bush, appearing at a private dinner for Jewish Republican donors Saturday evening, suggested that his last name could be a hindrance to his brother’s presidential candidacy and that he would stay out of the 2016 fray, according to two sources in the room.

He acknowledged that his last name could be a distraction and that he would stay out of the light,” said one of the sources. Rather than heap praise on former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush’s candidacy, the source said, “He basically said, ‘I’m going to be out of the public eye.”

And that, kiddies, is how professional jooorn’lists make the big bucks. So Chimpy is going to stay out of NotChimpy’s way and try to stop reminding all of us that Jeb is the brother of the worst preznint in history, the son of one of the few preznints so unpopular that he didn’t win re-election, and grandson of the Senator who tried to overthrow the government for the fascists in WW II.

Because We Love A Good Correction

jeb-moose-ears

Look at that! NotChimpy is white after all, at least according to one of the little brown ones*:

And that’s all the proof you need that The Smart Bush® has outsourced his Twatter to a staffer: No member of the Bush Crime Family has a sense of humor about their family.

* When Poppy Bush was running for preznint, he famously introduced St. Ronnie to Jeb’s kids as “the little brown ones.”