Saddle-up Another Goat!


Chimpy’s younger brother Not Chimpy, you know: the smart one, now says that he is ‘Actively’ exploring running for preznint.

But aside from Jeb reminding everyone about Terri Schiavo, and of course his appalling family, we’ve covered Not Chimpy’s candidacy before.

(Hat tip: @BangingChains on the electric Twitter Machine)

Unsaddle That Goat!


Jeb Bush Has a Mitt Romney Problem

The long and short of it is that Not Chimpy ended his political career in 2007 with $1.1M in the bank, and he now is controlling three hedge funds with a combined value of about $100M, mostly raised from Chinese investors, and all of it offshore in what can only be described as tax havens.


Some Stupid With Your Coffee?

The only way I would be interested in what Chimpy was thinkin’ while fingerpainting would be how he is gonna make some pruno behind bars.

Jeb Bush, M.D.


Honest to blog, Chimpy’s Crime Family has an exclusive on being stupid:

Jeb Bush: Obama ‘incompetent’ on Ebola

So let’s go in the Way-Back Machine to 2005 to visit with Not-Chimpy to recall his performance during the media circus around Terri Schiavo, you know, when he passed a law that would allow him to spirit the brain-dead woman away (with the help of FL Department of Law Enforcement apparatus) to an undisclosed location where her feeding tubes could be reinserted.

[Michael] SCHIAVO: That’s correct.

You know, it’s really uncomprehensible [sic] to think that a private family matter that has gone through the judiciary system for the past seven years — I mean, we’re talking all the way up to the United States Supreme Court — and for a governor to come into this without any education on the subject and push his personal views into this and have his Republican legislation pass laws so that this doesn’t happen.

He’s basically jumping right over the state court’s decision. We might as well not have any state courts.

But you know, he wasn’t incompetent grandstanding. The bottom line: If you see Jeb Bush with a thermometer, run for it!

Some Stupid For Your Coffee?


According to Tiger Beat on the Potomac (Thanks Charlie!) the Bush Crime Family announced that Bush brother, Not Chimpy definitely might be thinking about running:

George P. Bush, the son of former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush, says his father is still assessing a 2016 presidential run…”The family will be behind him 100 percent if he decides to do it,” the younger Bush said.

Thanks for that breaking news, TBOTP!

The Smart Bush


Chimpy’s brother Not Chimpy might be thinking about running for preznint in the 2016 Goat Rodeo, or he might be thinking about pie. Pie is nice, running for office is not.

Anyway, Not Chimpy was asked about the Paycheck Fairness Act, and because he might be thinking about the 2016 Goat Rodeo he responded brilliantly with, “What is the Paycheck Fairness Act?”

Once the man he was speaking with defined it as a bill that would help women receive “equal pay for equal work,” Bush took issue with his phrasing.

“Equal pay for the same work, not for equal work — I think that’s the problem with it. I think there’s a definition issue.”

Nicely dodged! But if you really are thinking about running in the 2016 Goat Rodeo, maybe you might want to learn-up on some of the issues?

I worry about the Rebranding, Reince, I really do.

(The Hill)

Here’s Some Stupid For Your Coffee

Jenna's gonna puke!

…and by stupid, we mean McStagger-level stupid:

George W. Bush’s daughter Jenna is one of the better-known names on the Independence Party’s voter rolls in New York.

But she never meant to join.

Like financial reporter Maria Bartiromo and News Corp. boss Rupert Murdoch before her, Jenna Bush Hager mistakenly signed up with the Independence Party when she meant to declare herself an independent.

Well, she comes by it honestly.

(Daily News)

Chimpy done wrote a book, again!

Chimpy BarfingFor those of you who thought Dubya was illiterate (“Not so. Mah parents were married! And t’ each other!”) think again, because Crown books will publish his biography of his father George H.W. Bush:

According to Crown, the book will cover the elder Bush’s whole life and his influence on his son, from George W.’s “childhood in West Texas to his early campaign trips with his father, and from his decision to go into politics to his own two-term presidency.”

The book will be “heartfelt, intimate, and illuminating,” Crown publisher Maya Mavjee said in a statement.

The book will be about 300 pages long (wide margins? Double-spaced lines?) and W done wrote it all by his lonesome, with a fresh pencil ‘n everything. Hopefully it will cover the famous drunken fistfight challenge with Poppy and be named something like, Everything I Ever Wanted To Know About Invading Iraq But Was Afraid To Ask.

(Cross-posted at Liberland)

And he’s supposed to be the smart one?


Bush crime family macrocephalic exhibit A Not Chimpy, er, I mean Jeb stepped in it again. And he’s supposed to be the smart one?

Take it away, Tiger Beat on the Potomac:

On immigration, he said that those who come into the country illegally generally do so because they had no other means to provide for their family, and what they did is “not a felony.”

“It’s an act of love. It’s an act of commitment to your family,” Bush said. “I honestly think that that is a different kind of crime. There should be a price paid, but it shouldn’t rile people up that people are actually coming to this country to provide for their families.”

OK, I just threw up a little in the back of my mouth when the words “Jeb Bush” and “Act of Love” co-mingled on my screen.

Anyway, the primaries are when Wingnuttia look for purity (which in this instance involves electrifying a thousand mile border fence, with a moat and alligators, and gattling guns every 10 feet to keep out the dusky menace; Canadians please accept our welcome wagon), love action comes in the general, Jeb.

Whoops, threw-up a little again.

My Left Foot

Oh, honest-to-blog, Chimpy McStagger is going to have an exhibition of his finger-painting at his Texas liberry, and NBC is promoting it with a hard-hitting interview with his daughter, Jenna.