If We Lived In a Just World…

Happy Birthday to…

Only The Good Die Young

Babs gets a whiff.

Babs gets a whiff.

Babs-the-Impaler! She turns 90 today.

And in honor of this event, some brainiac at NBC sent over one of Chimpy’s spawn to interview her. Here’s the best part:

Babs-the-Impaler : “I’ve promised that during this next campaign season, I will not talk. … No, I won’t give any interviews. … I don’t tweet. … No Instagram. … I’m not gonna be musing about someone who does something stupid in the campaign. … I’m gonna stop voicing my opinion and sticking up for things I think are right. Except my boy. I think he’s brilliant.” …

Lint Twin: “I assume you mean Jeb.”

Babs-the-Impaler : “Right.” (LAUGHTER)

So even Babs-the-Impaler thinks the fruit of her loins are water heads.

The Evening Quote

NotChimpy and Chimpy

NotChimpy and Chimpy

“This is hard for me to be honest with you. I have to do the Heisman on my brother that I love, you know? This is not something I’m comfortable doing. But I’m my own person. I have my own life experience, and I will be successful if I’m a candidate when I share my heart and I talk about what I’ve done as governor of the state, where I cut taxes, reduced the state government workforce by 11 percent, moved the state to a AAA bond rating.”

NotChimpy, the Smart Bush®

Oh. Doing the Heisman. I mean, as far as I can tell.

Iraq Takes Its Toll

The Clusterf*** Continues!

NotChimpy and Chimpy

NotChimpy and Chimpy

Oh, Lawdy, The Smart Bush is clarifying his position AGAIN:

  1. He would have gone into Iraq knowing what we know today
  2. He misheard the question.
  3. Won’t answer the question because it would be “a disservice” to the troops who lost their lives. (The disservice was sending them there, Jeb.)
  4. “I would not have engaged. I would not have gone into Iraq.”

Jebbie just isn’t very good at this thing, politics, now is he?

The 3-Martini Stupid is Served, Gov. Bush

NotChimpy and Chimpy

NotChimpy and Chimpy

“If you want to know who I listen to for advice, it’s [Chimpy],” [NotChimpy] Bush said Tuesday about Israel, according to The Post’s sources. (Business Insider)

Is there anyone out there who still thinks Jeb is The Smart Bush®?

One Lump of Stupid or Two, TBOTP

NotChimpy and Chimpy

NotChimpy and Chimpy

Tiger Beat on the Potomac (Thanks Charlie!) breathlessly brings us the morning cuppa stupid:

LAS VEGAS — Former President George W. Bush, appearing at a private dinner for Jewish Republican donors Saturday evening, suggested that his last name could be a hindrance to his brother’s presidential candidacy and that he would stay out of the 2016 fray, according to two sources in the room.

He acknowledged that his last name could be a distraction and that he would stay out of the light,” said one of the sources. Rather than heap praise on former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush’s candidacy, the source said, “He basically said, ‘I’m going to be out of the public eye.”

And that, kiddies, is how professional jooorn’lists make the big bucks. So Chimpy is going to stay out of NotChimpy’s way and try to stop reminding all of us that Jeb is the brother of the worst preznint in history, the son of one of the few preznints so unpopular that he didn’t win re-election, and grandson of the Senator who tried to overthrow the government for the fascists in WW II.

Because We Love A Good Correction

jeb-moose-ears

Look at that! NotChimpy is white after all, at least according to one of the little brown ones*:

And that’s all the proof you need that The Smart Bush® has outsourced his Twatter to a staffer: No member of the Bush Crime Family has a sense of humor about their family.

* When Poppy Bush was running for preznint, he famously introduced St. Ronnie to Jeb’s kids as “the little brown ones.”

News That Will Drive You To Drink

NotChimpy and Chimpy: two pees in a pod

NotChimpy and Chimpy: two pees in a pod

Hey guys! Do you know what happened this week in history? Give you a hint: It involves The Smart Bush®:

If You Liked the Handling of the Terri Schiavo Case, You’ll Love President Jeb Bush

Ten years ago this week, Terri Schiavo died. She had been in a persistent vegetative state for 15 years, many of which had been taken up with a legal battle between her husband, who wanted to remove the feeding tube that was all that was keeping her alive, and her parents, who wanted to keep it in place.

The Schiavo case was a weighty one. But the religious right, with the help of Jeb Bush and his big brother in the White House, turned it into a vicious, public culture-war battle.

And, well, it just gets better. Go read the piece and recall the good times as NotChimpy reminds us where on the political spectrum he stands today.

Jebbie, who earlier this week voiced his unequivocal support for Pence and the anti-LGBT “religious freedom” law…

…and now NotChimpy has, um, flipped:

At the Four Seasons in East Palo Alto, Mr. Bush was asked by an attendee to clarify his position. He said that he supported protecting religious freedom and that it must be done specifically in each state.

“By the end of the week, I think Indiana will be in the right place, which is to say that we need in a big diverse country like America, we need to have space for people to act on their conscience, that it is a constitutional right that religious freedom is a core value of our country, “ Mr. Bush said.

But “we shouldn’t discriminate based on sexual orientation,” he said.

He continued, “So what the State of Indiana is going to end up doing is probably get to that place.”

Yeah, kinder gentler Terri Schiavo week to you too, Jeb.

News That Will Drive You To Drink

jeb-moose-ears

We mentioned this morning that The Smart Bush, Mayo, er, NotChimpy has started his 2016 Goat Rodeo PAC called, The Right To Rise, and so we went to visit it, and we noticed something missing from His Blandness’ biography; see if you can spot it!

Bush earned a bachelor’s degree in Latin American studies from the University of Texas at Austin. Jeb is the son of President George H.W. Bush and Barbara Bush. He and his wife, Columba, live in Miami and have three grown children and three grandchildren.

Say, maybe he is the Smart Bush?

The 2016 Goat Rodeo: NotChimpy Strikes Back!

So after resigning from all his very lucrative board positions, The Smart Bush made a comment about Marriage Equality after playing a round of golf (does Wingnuttia start counting golf outings now or after the coronation?):

“It ought be a local decision. I mean, a state decision. The state decided. The people of the state decided. But it’s been overturned by the courts, I guess.”

NotChimpy knows how to deliver the bland, doesn’t he? He didn’t give the base the red meat bashing of the ‘mos that they require, so now that he has someone spoon-feeding him his positions for the 2016 Goat Rodeo, he released the following (less mayo) statement:

“We live in a democracy, and regardless of our disagreements, we have to respect the rule of law,” Mr. Bush said in a statement. “I hope that we can show respect for the good people on all sides of the gay and lesbian marriage issue – including couples making lifetime commitments to each other who are seeking greater legal protections and those of us who believe marriage is a sacrament and want to safeguard religious liberty.”

And besides saying almost nothing, NotChimpy is sort of dog-whistling the usual Y’all Qaeda victimization-religious-freedom rhetoric.

(Hat tip: Thunder for the Tweet)