The Book of Goldman Sachs
Our old pal Rev. Fishsticks wants to remind us all that Jeebus Was Not A Socialist:
“Rumors continue to persist that Jesus was a socialist, despite all the evidence to the contrary. For instance, he did not believe in the involuntary redistribution of wealth. He never once commanded government to dig its hands into the wallets of its citizens to give their money to somebody else.”
I’m not a theologian, but even I can tell that there’s a horse in here somewhere.
“For instance, in the parable of the workers in the vineyard we find Jesus frowning on the concept of collective bargaining and even the minimum wage. “
I hear a horse whinnying.
“At day’s end, the foreman begins paying the workers, beginning with the last hires on down to the first. The last hires, who worked just one hour, receive a full denarius. This leads the first hires, who’d worked all day in the hot sun, to think they’re going to make bank. But when they get to the paymaster’s window, they receive exactly what they had been promised – a denarius – and no more.”
The plutocrats are all on one knee, weeping with joy.
“Notice, first of all, that the means of production here are in private hands, in the total control of the owner. Government does not own this business, which would be socialism, nor does it tell this business owner how he must run it, which is fascism. He is free to do with his business assets as he sees fit with no government interference whatsoever. That’s capitalism; that’s free enterprise.”
Interesting definitions you got there, Fishsticks. Please do continue.
“There is no collective bargaining here. Each worker is free to strike his own deal with the owner for whatever wage they finds mutually acceptable. The bargaining over wages here is individual in nature, not collective. Each worker is free to enter into whatever contractual arrangement he wants with his owner.”
With his owner?
And that, kiddies, is the end of today’s lesson: Capitalism, good for the owners.