The WSJ tells us… Jindal Aspires to Be Leading Thinker in GOP’s 2016 Field, but here’s my favorite line from this ridiculous piece:
“In a prospective field where candidates are generating buzz because of their interesting personalities or profiles, Jindal is focused on becoming ‘the ideas guy,’ ” said Kevin Madden, a top adviser to 2012 GOP presidential nominee Mitt Romney.
Well, if boy exorcist and noted Volcano Scholar Bobby ‘Bubba’ Jindal cannot compete on interesting personality (true) or profile (also true), I guess he is left with his record, which is pretty terrible on both the face of it and in the substance of it. I guess all that is left is to try to eke out the Newticles’ position of being the ideas guy.
So what are those ideas?
The governor is set to unveil the second plank of a would-be policy platform Tuesday with the release of a comprehensive energy plan, two full months before the 2014 elections wrap up.
The proposal includes familiar measures likely to rally Republicans, such as approving the Keystone XL pipeline, as well as a few ideas that haven’t been as widely embraced by his party, including a call to lift the ban on American oil exports.
Oh yeah, that is an idea that will take him places.
What is it with famous boy exorcist and noted volcano scholar Bobby Jindal projecting his insecurities onto others?
We’ll start the day with a story that illustrate the point that for Wingnuts, it’s not how you play the game that counts, it’s that you win at all costs:
Boy exorcist and noted volcano scholar Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal signed a bill into law on Friday that kills a current lawsuit against 97 oil and gas companies that was filed by the New Orleans regional levee board Southeast Louisiana Flood Protection Authority-East. The new law could negatively affect state and government claims against BP over the 2010 Gulf of Mexico oil spill.
Before everyone gets huffy and puffy let’s recall that politicians are hired to do their jobs by the corporations that represent them. They do not work for you and me. So while we might be outraged at Jindal’s actions, for BP (for instance) Jindal represents a good return on their relatively small investment.
Famous boy exorcist and noted volcano scholar Bobby Jindal attended the National Governors Association meeting, enjoyed a fine brunch served at the White House, listened to speeches on how bipartisan efforts between the Administration and governors everywhere could benefit We the People, and promptly took a dump in the punch bowl:
Jindal saw the gathered press and knew in his Christian heart that this was a time to grab the spotlight and throw some red meat to the mouthbreathers of his base. Jindal, who has aspirations to compete in the 2016 Goat Rodeo, is not considered a top-tier candidate, so whatever it takes, eh, Bobby?
Bless your heart. I thought you Southern Boys were raised better than that.
2016 Goat Rodeo
Can there be any doubt that the GOP’s Boy Exorcist and noted volcano scholar Bobby “Bubba” Jindal decided to throw his hat in the ring for the office of Preznint? How else does one explain his trip to the Hellmouth known as The Reagan Liberry to to give a speech on Religious Persecution?
Let us begin with a disclaimer: Reagan was not a religious man. His foreign policy was more likely to be influenced by Astrologer to the Stars than the Holy See or any group of god-botherers. Anyway, so there was Jindal at the holiest of holies, the ground zero of Wingnuttia, the vector point of… well, you get it.
Boy Exorcist and noted volcano scholar Bobby “Bubba” Jindal has gone from hated to merely loathed:
The outlook for Gov. Bobby Jindal also improved in the poll. His 42 percent approval rating, while still low, represented a nearly four point increase over his April 2013 numbers. It also contradicted numbers released in August by Public Policy Polling that showed the governor’s approval rating down at 28 percent.
The 2016 Goat Rodeo has a new rider!
Noted Volcano Scholar and famous Boy Exorcist Bobby Jindal has withdrawn his plan to eliminate corporate income taxes (and personal income taxes, too) and replace them with a sales tax:
“In a speech opening the 2013 legislative session, Jindal is telling lawmakers that he is taking his plan off the table even as he said he will not “pout” or “take his ball and go home,” instead asking lawmakers to develop and pass their own version of a plan to phase out the state’s income tax, according to a copy of the governor’s prepared remarks.”
Get that: my plan is dead, so you guys get to make my plan. No, really:
“I realize that some of you think I haven’t been listening. But you’ll be surprised to learn I have been. And here is what I’ve heard from you and from the people of Louisiana — yes, we do want to get rid of the income tax, but governor you’re moving too fast… Already, several of you have filed plans that phase out the income tax. So, let’s work together to pass a bill this session to get rid of our state income tax.”
Actually, Governor, I think that the people of LA are telling you to go pro with your Kenneth-the-Page impersonation. Jindal’s approval ratings have dropped from 60% to 38%.
Hey guys, did you know that the reason the GOP lost the election was because the GOP did not communicate their economic positions clearly? It’s True!, according to boy exorcist, volcano scholar, and Kenneth-the-Page impersonator Bobby (Bubba) Jindal.
Voucher-crazed theocrat Jindal thinks that young people will flock to the GOP if they could just get the right
dog whistle message to them because, you know, kids are down with the oppression of gay people and think that corporations just don’t have enough power, and you know, chicks dig not controlling their vaginas.
Actually, Bubba, I suspect that the kids, ethnic minorities, and women (demographics the GOP lost by huge majorities) understand your message all too well, but good luck on telling your base to quit being stupid at the same time you promote the same, hateful, fascist, and misogynist policies.
…was noted volcano scholar and Kenneth-the-Page impersonator Governor Bobby Jindal.
“An’ now y’all kin ferget about mah performance in th’ rebuttal tha’ done sunk mah national aspirations, y’all,” Jindal did not say.
The axiomatic thing to do with politics in general, and the Republicans in particular is to listen to Deep Throat’s advice to Woodward and Bernstein: Follow the money.
So, when Xristian Xrazie boy exorcist Bobby Jindal tells us with a straight face that the Republicans ought to be out of the Birth Control Wars and make contraception available over the counter, follow the money.
This at first blush seems like an excellent idea until you realize that very expensive medicine like birth control would no longer be covered by your insurance company if it was available over the counter. I suppose people who are enrolled in a good benefits program could include birth control in a use-it-or-lose-it pre-tax Health Savings Account, but that will probably be a small proportion of the population. Eventually demand might lower the prices, but that is a long time to wait, and not all birth control is prescribed for family planning purposes.
So, in one small policy statement Jindal has done a trifecta: he’s crafting a reasonable personae for the 2016 Goat Rodeo, he’s offering what appears to be a good policy proposal to remove birth control from the culture wars, and he is ensuring that birth control will remain out of reach.