In which Bobby Jindal adds a new skill to his LinkedIn profile

Bad Manners

Bubba Jindal

Famous boy exorcist and noted volcano scholar Bobby Jindal attended the National Governors Association meeting, enjoyed a fine brunch served at the White House, listened to speeches on how bipartisan efforts between the Administration and governors everywhere could benefit We the People, and promptly took a dump in the punch bowl:

Jindal saw the gathered press and knew in his Christian heart that this was a time to grab the spotlight and throw some red meat to the mouthbreathers of his base. Jindal, who has aspirations to compete in the 2016 Goat Rodeo, is not considered a top-tier candidate, so whatever it takes, eh, Bobby?

Bless your heart. I thought you Southern Boys were raised better than that.

(Politico)

Saddle-Up Another Goat: Bobby Jindal is In It To Win It

2016 Goat Rodeo

Bubba Jindal

Can there be any doubt that the GOP’s Boy Exorcist and noted volcano scholar Bobby “Bubba” Jindal decided to throw his hat in the ring for the office of Preznint? How else does one explain his trip to the Hellmouth known as The Reagan Liberry to to give a speech on Religious Persecution?

Let us begin with a disclaimer: Reagan was not a religious man. His foreign policy was more likely to be influenced by Astrologer to the Stars than the Holy See or any group of god-botherers. Anyway, so there was Jindal at the holiest of holies, the ground zero of Wingnuttia, the vector point of… well, you get it.

Continue reading

Good News for Bobby Jindal!

Bubba Jindal

Boy Exorcist and noted volcano scholar Bobby “Bubba” Jindal has gone from hated to merely loathed:

The outlook for Gov. Bobby Jindal also improved in the poll. His 42 percent approval rating, while still low, represented a nearly four point increase over his April 2013 numbers. It also contradicted numbers released in August by Public Policy Polling that showed the governor’s approval rating down at 28 percent.

The 2016 Goat Rodeo has a new rider!

(NOLA)

Boy Exorcist Exorcized

Noted Volcano Scholar and famous Boy Exorcist Bobby Jindal has withdrawn his plan to eliminate corporate income taxes (and personal income taxes, too) and replace them with a sales tax:

“In a speech opening the 2013 legislative session, Jindal is telling lawmakers that he is taking his plan off the table even as he said he will not “pout” or “take his ball and go home,” instead asking lawmakers to develop and pass their own version of a plan to phase out the state’s income tax, according to a copy of the governor’s prepared remarks.”

Get that: my plan is dead, so you guys get to make my plan. No, really:

“I realize that some of you think I haven’t been listening. But you’ll be surprised to learn I have been. And here is what I’ve heard from you and from the people of Louisiana — yes, we do want to get rid of the income tax, but governor you’re moving too fast… Already, several of you have filed plans that phase out the income tax. So, let’s work together to pass a bill this session to get rid of our state income tax.”

Actually, Governor, I think that the people of LA are telling you to go pro with your Kenneth-the-Page impersonation. Jindal’s approval ratings have dropped from 60% to 38%.

(Nola.com)

Aspirational: I don’t think it means what you think it means, Jindal.

Hey guys, did you know that the reason the GOP lost the election was because the GOP did not communicate their economic positions clearly? It’s True!, according to boy exorcist, volcano scholar, and Kenneth-the-Page impersonator Bobby (Bubba) Jindal.

Voucher-crazed theocrat Jindal thinks that young people will flock to the GOP if they could just get the right dog whistle message to them because, you know, kids are down with the oppression of gay people and think that corporations just don’t have enough power, and you know, chicks dig not controlling their vaginas.

Actually, Bubba, I suspect that the kids, ethnic minorities, and women (demographics the GOP lost by huge majorities) understand your message all too well, but good luck on telling your base to quit being stupid at the same time you promote the same, hateful, fascist, and misogynist policies.

Jindal and the Trojan Horse

The axiomatic thing to do with politics in general, and the Republicans in particular is to listen to Deep Throat’s advice to Woodward and Bernstein: Follow the money.

So, when Xristian Xrazie boy exorcist Bobby Jindal tells us with a straight face that the Republicans ought to be out of the Birth Control Wars and make contraception available over the counter, follow the money.

This at first blush seems like an excellent idea until you realize that very expensive medicine like birth control would no longer be covered by your insurance company if it was available over the counter. I suppose people who are enrolled in a good benefits program could include birth control in a use-it-or-lose-it pre-tax Health Savings Account, but that will probably be a small proportion of the population. Eventually demand might lower the prices, but that is a long time to wait, and not all birth control is prescribed for family planning purposes.

So, in one small policy statement Jindal has done a trifecta: he’s crafting a reasonable personae for the 2016 Goat Rodeo, he’s offering what appears to be a good policy proposal to remove birth control from the culture wars, and he is ensuring that birth control will remain out of reach.

Iowa State UnFair

Noted Volcano scholar and boy exorcist Louisiana’s Governor Bobby “Bubba” Jindal is traveling today to Iowa today to tell the natives there how the law works and that’s why they should keep teh gays down, because when the Iowa Supreme Court did their job and ruled on the matter before them, well, it was beyond the pale.

Anyway Piyush is joined in Iowa with that mix of lube and fecal matter Frothy Santorum, so it should be a knee-slapping fun time as Iowans get a double scolding from two out-of-state Xristian Xrazies courtesy of hate group The Family Leader.

(As Good As You)

Master Class: Pandering

The GOP’s boy exorcist and noted volcano scholar should consider bottling this stuff. He’s got it down cold:

A Romney aide says the GOP nominee was invited to Louisiana to tour storm damage by the state’s Republican governor, Bobby Jindal.

Because when your state is underwater and people are in boats and clinging to roofs, you invite the candidate of your party to tour the devastation, not the guy who actually can help your constituents. You let them suffer so Willard can look presidential.

And that Scissorheads, is your master class in pandering: putting politics ahead of people.

(TPM Livewire)

Send Money, says Jindal

Under-the-Volcano-with-Bubba

The GOP’s boy exorcist and noted volcano scholar Bobby Jindalhas had it with this ‘Bama fellow (he doubts for not a moment that ‘Bama has ever been to ‘Bama), who for some reason, is not sending money to Bobby Jindal fast enough. Jindal has taken to writing letters to his parents whining for more allowance:

“Unfortunately, your limited declaration does not provide for reimbursement of expenses that the state is taking to prepare for the storm,” Jindal said in his letter.

So what did ‘Bamz do?

President Obama on Monday declared a state of emergency for Louisiana, which is expected to be in the path of Tropical Storm Isaac.

The action by Obama makes federal funding to the state available immediately, but Jindal said it “only provides for direct federal assistance” and doesn’t “provide for reimbursement of expenses that the state is taking to prepare for the storm.”

So in the best style of LA politician, Jindal wants the disaster money up front, probably so he can pay David Vitter’s hooker bill:

“The State’s expenditures for emergency protective measures are already approximately $8,000,000 and exceed the State of Louisiana’s threshold when making a request for a major disaster declaration,” the letter continued.

That’s a lotta Pampers, Dave, but whatevs. What else does Bubba have to say?

“A core responsibility of the federal government is to protect the lives and property of its citizens when threatened,” Jindal concludes in the letter. “This disaster declaration will help ensure that we best protect life and property in our state.”

Always be protecting the “property” Bubba! Your paymasters at BP appreciate these small touches.

Jindal, as you may recall, is fighting the scourge of socialism in his bottom-tier state and has rejected help from the Federal Government because like Scarlet O’Hara he’ll never be hungry again, or something. Anyway, he keeps turning down free Ameros from ‘Bamz to do something about healthcare in his state, and he’s given tax dollars to the Xristian Xrazies to teach the children of Louisiana that Jeebus rode a dinosaur but now he WANTS money to reimburse himself for the storm that is about to land.

It’s confusing, but it can best be summed up that small-gubmint Jindal wants some sweet, sweet big-gubmint tax dollars. So maybe government does some things right, eh Bobby?

(And as always our wishes and prayers–such as they are–go to the people who are in the path of this storm. Just because you have a jackass governor doesn’t mean you deserve Mother Nature pounding on your doors.)

(The Hill)