The AP Gives Us the October Surprise in November

KOGELO, Kenya (AP) — At President Barack Obama’s ancestral village in Kenya, witch doctor John Dimo tossed some shells, bones and other items to determine who will win Tuesday’s election.

After throwing the objects like so many dice outside his hut in Kogelo village, Dimo, who says he is 105 years old, points to a white shell and declares: “Obama is very far ahead and is definitely going to win.”

Sweet Baby Jeebus wearing Donald Trump’s toupé, can we get any more dog whistle birtherism in the news today?

(AP)

The Birther of a Nation: The Smoking Gun!

This film claims to be The Kenyan Usurper Hawaiian Devil Baby’s birth in Kenya! Footage taken by Carebear Senior, as a home movie? Yes. Because that was really common in Kenya of the 1960s, duh.

The monster-sized baby, with full head of hair and open eyes looking around the room, just sort of appears from under a bed sheet after what appears to be no effort on the part of the mom, not even any sweat, and the umbilical cord (link sausages?) of an entirely different color than the baby is cut and the kid still isn’t screaming. Good thing Père Obama filmed Ann Durham’s chart twice, otherwise I might think this is a fake.

Read the whole crazy thing at Vice

C***rag calls Kenyan Bastard

Pammygram’s Birther 2.0 theory is that Obama’s parents had a sham marriage and that’s why he’s not really president.

The release of Barack Hussein Obama I’s immigration file is stunning in what it reveals and the questions it poses. BHO I’s visa expired Aug. 8, 1961 (Barack Junior was born Aug. 4, 1961) – is that why he married Obama’s mother? Stanley Ann Dunham was a white girl in a family way with a mixed-race child, desperate for legitimacy in a culture that condemned such behavior as abject immorality, and Barack Obama Sr. was a con man from Kenya desperate to stay in the USA. Was the marriage merely a business arrangement (she was 17 when she got pregnant)? Is that why it was so important to place the ads in the Hawaiian papers announcing the birth of the future president – because his father was about to be deported?

…That would make the president illegitimate. In 1787, illegitimate children had different rights. There is no way the founders of this great nation intended for an illegitimate child of a foreign bigamist to attain the highest, most powerful position in the new land.

All this means that President Barack Hussein Obama is not natural born. His father was not a U.S. citizen; he is, by that very fact, disqualified to serve as president of the United States. Those who believe that the “natural born” requirement is no longer relevant in our modern age are wrong. The Founding Fathers added this to the requirements for someone serving as president to make it difficult for a spy or traitor to attain the highest office in the land. Clearly, from Obama’s performance, this is a considerable cause for concern.

Hey Pammy, why don’t you try getting your LD at Regents U? I hear that they have a strong alumni association.

–Tengrain

(Raw Story)