The AP Gives Us the October Surprise in November

KOGELO, Kenya (AP) — At President Barack Obama’s ancestral village in Kenya, witch doctor John Dimo tossed some shells, bones and other items to determine who will win Tuesday’s election.

After throwing the objects like so many dice outside his hut in Kogelo village, Dimo, who says he is 105 years old, points to a white shell and declares: “Obama is very far ahead and is definitely going to win.”

Sweet Baby Jeebus wearing Donald Trump’s toupé, can we get any more dog whistle birtherism in the news today?

(AP)

The Birther of a Nation: The Smoking Gun!

This film claims to be The Kenyan Usurper Hawaiian Devil Baby’s birth in Kenya! Footage taken by Carebear Senior, as a home movie? Yes. Because that was really common in Kenya of the 1960s, duh.

The monster-sized baby, with full head of hair and open eyes looking around the room, just sort of appears from under a bed sheet after what appears to be no effort on the part of the mom, not even any sweat, and the umbilical cord (link sausages?) of an entirely different color than the baby is cut and the kid still isn’t screaming. Good thing Père Obama filmed Ann Durham’s chart twice, otherwise I might think this is a fake.

Read the whole crazy thing at Vice

What’s the Matter with Kansas?

The State Objections Board has decided to delay a decision on keeping Barack Obama off the Kansas ballot in November.

The board — Kris Kobach, Derek Schmidt, and Jeff Colyer, all Republicans — wants more time to examine documents related to Obama’s birth, according to several reports.

(Midwest Democracy via Scissorhead KCTomato)