News That Will Drive You to Drink

Happy Hour News Briefs

Short-fingered vulgarian Donald Trump (thanks Spy Magazine)

Short-fingered vulgarian Donald Trump (thanks Spy Magazine)

I suppose we should have expected the inevitable return to birtherism from short-fingered vulgarian Donald Trump (thanks Spy Magazine!):

“We can’t close our eyes. I don’t know what’s wrong with Obama, he wants to close his eyes and pretend it’s not happening. Why is he so emphatic on not solving the problem? There’s something we don’t know about. There’s something we don’t know about.”

Well, at least this time he didn’t say that The Kenyan Usurper has evil intentions, you know, bringing Syrian refugees here.

Somewhere, Orly Taitz is smiling.

Late Breaking:

His source for the dancing 9-11 Muslims is crypto-nazi InfoWars, ground zero of every conspiracy out there.

The Three-Martini Stupid. Your Server: Gov. Walker


Wall-eyed git hired to enrich the Koch Brother’s fortune, Scott Walker gives an interview to Hate Radio’s host Dana Loesch at CPAC last week. This is remarkable, not because he lied (though he did), but because he joins the Birthers:

Loesch: “You’ve already been more vetted than the commander-in-chief.”

Wall-eyed git: “Yeah. And more written about my college days than the president. I unsealed my records!

Um, no.

One of the Birthers’ best known gambits is Obama’s sealed college records (which pretty much all modern preznints do) that will somehow prove that Obama was a foreign exchange student from Kenya.



World Nut Daily tells us that the highest priority that the GOP-led Senate should take on is: The Birth Certificate.

(And we don’t think that they mean Canadian-born latino and immigrant-hating southern white supremacist Senator Ted Cruz)

He Sounds Nice

testing a wall

Y’all Qaeda’s favorite litigious person Larry Klayman is fomenting revolution again, and has filed another birther lawsuit against the Kenyan Usurper:

But as has been true throughout Obama’s illegitimate presidency, as all credible evidence suggests that he was born in Kenya and is neither a natural born citizen eligible to be president, nor has he been “naturalized” as a citizen to even have the right to remain here – see the deportation petition I filed recently – regrettably our Muslim commander in chief has favored his own creed over the rest of us. Obama has turned Martin Luther King’s revolution for equality for all races, colors and creeds on its head. Now, during his regime, relegating whites and others who are not black or Muslim to the back of the bus has become an invidious form of reverse discrimination. This was not right when blacks were subjected to this treatment, and it is not right now – particularly given its deadly implications.

…This is not just an incompetent and lazy president who prefers golf outings and vacations at taxpayers’ expense on Martha’s Vineyard to governing, but an evil one who is a danger to the continued existence of our nation. With this new Ebola-gate scandal, Obama’s remaining in office becomes an issue of life and death for us all.

I do not advocate violence, and I want Obama to be taken alive to be deported and pay for his inadequacies under the rule of law. But he must be forced from office as soon as possible, before all is lost. We the people simply cannot, and should not, take it anymore.

In the interim, I am fashioning a lawsuit to force Obama to curtail travel and immigration from Liberia and the rest of West Africa until we know we can combat the deadly Ebola outbreak. And, immigration from all Muslim nations where terrorists have a beachhead must also be immediately stopped.

These are not ordinary times. The nation is at war, not just with foreign and domestic enemies, such as the Muslim Americans who have joined the Islamic Jihad of ISIS and al-Qaida, but with our own president, who was so ignorantly and tragically elected to rule over us.

Here’s Your Saturday Bottomless Mug of Stupid

US President Barack Obama jokingly talks

Birther 2: Electric Boogaloo It is a petition to deport The Kenyan Usurper Barack HUSSEIN Obama filed by FreedomWatch.

Here’s Your Cheese Sandwich With a Side of Stupid

World Nut Daily tells us that The Kenyan Usurper not only is lying about his place of birth, also he’s lying about his age:

On Tuesday of this week, Barack Obama turned 53. Or so we were told.

Fight on for Kenya!

The birthers are having a civil war!

(Fair Warning! The link goes to Orly Taitz, fearless Lawyer-Dentist-Real Estate Agent’s land of nutty goodness. Via Wonkette)

Birthers Rejoice at Death of Hawaiian Department Health Director Loretta Fuddy

Birther Conspiracy Theorists Go Wild About ‘Mystery’ Death Of Hawaiian Official

I’m completely disgusted.

Townhalls, redoux

Roby 10: How Can We Stop the Pres. Obama’s Outrageous Executive Orders? from Wetumpka Tea Party on Vimeo.

Here we go again. But what is amazing is that Congresswoman Roby (R-Satan’s Hollow, Alabama) thanks the nutter for his question, doesn’t try to correct his birther proclamation (or commie) and answers him in the affirmative.

The Midday Quote

“You should know that evidence is not stuff printed from the Internet.”

–Orange County Superior Court Judge Charles Margines, as he rejected Birther Queen Orly Taitz demand to have all of the Kenyan Usurper’s records presented into evidence.

(Hat tip: The Daily Dolt via Unindicted co-conspirator and Scissorhead GRS)