The 2016 Money Race, or Need a Receipt With That?

News That Will Drive You To Drink

The money chase

The money chase

Oh, goodie: the 2016 Goat Rodeo contenders are already bought and paid for and then some. No one seems to be sure if money=success, but I’m guessing it doesn’t hurt. So the shocking news for this report period is that Senator Ted Cruz, the Canadian-born latino and immigrant-hating southern white supremacist raised the most Ameros from Wingnuttia.

Bloomberg reports:

The Winners:

  • Ted Cruz: $14.3 million in hard dollars was more than any other candidate raised during the quarter.
  • ¡JEB!: $11.4 million raised in just 16 days, more than 90 percent of which is available for the primary.
  • Novelty candidate Ben Carson: $10.6 million for his campaign, more than Rubio and Senator Rand Paul, and 68 percent of that was from small-dollar donors.
  • Rodham-Clinton: $47.5 million was more than anyone, Democrat or Republican, and the vast majority of it will be spent in the primary season.
  • Bernie Sanders: $15.2 million raised, including $10.5 million from small donations, Sanders can live off the land for a quite a while.

Bloomberg also spends some time analyzing the losers, which to me is a blur with all the different entities and reporting rules. That said, here’s their list:

The Losers

  • Marco ‘Big Gulp’ Rubio
  • ‘Schrödinger’s Candidate” Rand Paul
  • Rick ‘3-Departments’ Perry
  • Mike ‘Uncle Sugar’ Huckabee — it sounds more and more like he’s grifting while on his book tour.

But the best part of the article has to be this ‘graf:

“In San Francisco on Thursday, Bush shrugged off the lack of donations he received of less than $200, an indication of grassroots excitement. “We had 16 days and we wanted to send a statement of seriousness about the campaign,” Bush told reporters, referring to the time between his June 15 campaign announcement and the end of the filing period on June 30.”

The grass roots hates him as much as they hated 2012’s candidate, The Stench. The dynamics look much the same.

“$20, Same As In Town”

dekalbhookerRaw Story has a breakdown of how the TPP went down, and no surprise they bought the votes. But it was clearly a Blue Light Special in the Dim’s aisle:

  • Out of the total $1,148,971 given, an average of $17,676.48 was donated to each of the 65 “yea” votes.
  • The average Republican member received $19,673.28 from corporate TPP supporters.
  • The average Democrat received $9,689.23 from those same donors.

Jeeze, Dims, have a little pride when you sell out the constituency! You coulda gotten a better deal than that.

Take off them lo heels, and put on them ho heels:

  • In just 24 hours, [Ron] Wyden and five of those Democratic holdouts — Michael Bennet of Colorado, Dianne Feinstein of California, Claire McCaskill of Missouri, Patty Murray of Washington, and Bill Nelson of Florida — caved and voted for fast-track.
  • Bennet, Murray, and Wyden – all running for re-election in 2016 – received $105,900 between the three of them. Bennet, who comes from the more purple state of Colorado, got $53,700 in corporate campaign donations between January and March 2015, according to Channing’s research.

No surprise that McCaskill would go to the lowest bidder, I suppose. Her entire career has been about benefitting herself.

Ooh, fun times! So instead of not voting for Diane Fienstein (my long-standing tradition while living in California) this time around, I will not vote for Patty Murray. Thanks Patty for the warm welcome to Washington.

Lobbying Firm Makes An Honest Woman of Mary Landrieu

Taking off the low heels and putting on the ho heels

Show Landrieu the cheddar

Show Landrieu the cheddar

We are pleased to report that former Senator Mary ‘$20 Bucks in Town’ Landrieu is joining the Washington lobbying firm Van Ness Feldman, where she can finally draw an honest paycheck:

“Landrieu said the job will provide her with the “flexibility” to continue her work for the Walton Family Foundation, advocating on education issues, such as support for charter schools in New Orleans, Baton Rouge and nationally.,[sic]

“…Landrieu said she’ll be working on coastal restoration issues, as well as energy policy matters, for Van Ness Feldman, a firm that includes both Democratic and Republican lobbyists.”

You bet she will.

Make A Run For The Border

Chimpy BarfingTaco Bell Lobbyists Thank Congressional Staff With 6,000 Tacos

“Taco Bell franchise owners are lobbying Congress to help prevent their workers from organizing a union or qualifying for employer-based healthcare. They’re also asking for assistance with real estate tax credits and other issues on their legislative agenda.”

“On Tuesday afternoon, to thank congressional staffers for all they do on behalf of the fast food industry, franchisees hosted their annual reception at the Rayburn Office Building on Capitol Hill, a free food giveway in which staffers and interns gorged themselves on unlimited free Taco Bell tacos and nachos.”

This gives me heartburn: Taco Bell had their under-paid workers make free food for the congressional staff who have been working on novel ways to to keep them down.

Who Needs An Apple Watch When…

the latest status symbol is your own, personal, 2016 Goat Rodeo contender?

"Where are the rabbits, George?"

“Where are the rabbits, George?”


“When the primaries are over and Scott Walker gets the nomination,” Mr. Koch told the crowd, the billionaire brothers would support him, according to a spokeswoman. The remark drew laughter and applause from the audience of fellow donors and Republican activists, who had come to hear Mr. Walker speak earlier at the event, held at the Union League Club.

It seems like what we’ve been saying all along, that Walker is already an employee of Koch Industries is being verified. What sounds interesting is that they are not committing to funding him during the primary, and in fact, they have suggested that they are auditioning others.

The Smart Bush®

The Smart Bush®

“The Koch brothers may not be settling on a Republican presidential candidate just yet. One day after The New York Times reported that the Kochs were getting behind Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker, a “top Koch aide” tells Politico the billionaire brothers are going to give Jeb Bush a “chance to audition for the brothers’ support.”

“The reason for the reconsideration, according to Mike Allen: “Bush is getting a second look because so many Koch supporters think he looks like a winner.”

“It’s possible the Kochs really are undecided. It’s also possible they’re doing some damage control to contain the fallout from the Times story.”

It’s a good thing that Citizen’s United proved to the SCOTUS that there is no corruption from the cash tsunami sweeping away our democracy. I was worried for a moment.

Aaron Schock’s Rotten Week Continues!

aaron-schock-picnic-belt-photo

Poor Representative Aaron Schock is having a bad week. Besides having his flamboyantly decorated office outed in the national press, ethics violations charges leveled against him for the free services of the designer who made it look like Lindsey Graham’s shoe closet, and the resignation of his baptist minister spox who posted on Facebook some Strom Thurmond-esque views of his non-white neighbors, Aaron might be in even bigger trouble if this report is accurate:

Now there’s this: the month before the 2012 elections, Congressman Schock sold his house to a major Republican donor who was also one of his campaign supporters for a price that appears to far exceed the market value at the time. Memories of disgraced former GOP Congressman Duke Cunningham (CA) came flooding back into my head as I worked through the documents.

There are housing bubbles of course, and a home’s selling price often can exceed the assessed value. However—if the report is accurate—Schock sold his home at the bottom of the housing market to a long-time GOP donor for way over market price while other similar houses in the same gated-community development on the same street sold for hundreds of thousands of dollars less. Some very similar homes with much lower asking prices on the same block have been on the market for more than a year.

A boy could buy a lot of teal belts for that kinda profit.

Oh, and the donor? Ali Bahaj – then a Vice President at Caterpillar–a company whom Schock defended for dodging $2.4 billion in taxes by shifting profits overseas… after he sold his house to Bahaj. An unfortunate coincidence, surely. (Quit calling him Shirley…said it first!)

This kind of corruption, if accurate, is what led to Cunningham’s indictment and conviction and 7 years in the federal pokey. Schock would certainly have his dance card punched should the same fate befall him. No more fabulous vacays for him!

(Hat tip: Blue Nation Review via The Orange Satan via Scissorhead Patrick Bjorn)

Et Tu, Boehner?

Weepy brings the Orange Crush on to those who voted against him!

Kilgore has the best take on Boenher’s Revenge!

Now without a doubt there are congressional committee assignments that at some times and in some places matter to actual voters. But I’ve never heard of anyone deciding to vote for or against a Member on the basis of a Rules Committee position. It’s the ultimate inside baseball.

Maybe that’s why he is so strangely hued: his core is a sea of molten rage?

What Are They Doing Now: Bob McDonnell

Rolex Bob McDonnell gets what he deserves

Rolex Bob McDonnell gets what he deserves

The last time we checked in with smooth criminal and former Virginia Gov. Rolex Bob McDonnell, both he and his wife were found guilty of Public Corruption charges, and of course being polite grifters, each was pointing to the other, because the best defense is to be so strongly offensive? Yes, we’ll go with that. They are to be sentenced soon (January 6 for him, Feb. 20th for her)

So the news today is that the US Probation Office who set guidelines for sentencing federal offenders has returned with the suggestion that Ol’ Sticky Fingers be sentenced to no less than 10 years and one month to no more than 12 years and 7 months. The report is sealed and so no one is sure how that range of years was determined, but there are some clues:

  • McDonnell is a high-ranking politician
  • McDonnell took multiple bribes
  • The total value of the bribes was so high

So be of good cheer: “U.S. District Judge James Spencer is not required to follow [the guidelines]. But experts said Spencer typically heeds the probation office’s advice, and judges in his district have imposed sentences within the recommended range more than 70 percent of the time in recent years.”

Sometimes the crooks get what they have coming. We’ll keep an eye on this one.

News That Will Drive You To Drink

drunk_santa

It’s that most wonderful time of the year, when Members of Congress like Rep. Doug Lamborn (R-Colo.) propose counter-insurgency measures to the (nonexistent) War on Christmas:

CONGRESSIONAL RECORD HOUSE SPEECHES AND INSERTS PAGE H8944
Dec. 10, 2014
THE CHRISTMAS RESOLUTION
(Mr. LAMBORN asked and was given permission to address the House for 1 minute.)

“Mr. LAMBORN. Mr. Speaker, it is the most wonderful time of the year, a time when millions of Americans gather together to celebrate Christmas. For many of us, Christmas is a time to remember the humble birth of our Savior on a holy night more than 2,000 years ago in the town of Bethlehem. We give thanks for Jesus’ message of love and peace and remember the sacrifice He made for us all. It is a season of giving, of love, and of joy.

“According to a recent poll, 9 out of 10 Americans celebrate Christmas. Sadly, however, there is a troubling effort in America led by a vocal minority to remove the symbols and traditions of Christmas from the public arena.

“There have been many examples of atheist groups working to remove public nativity displays and other decorations. Just last year in my home State of Colorado, an anti­religious organization filed a lawsuit against school officials for their support of student­led [sic] involvement with Operation Christmas Child.

“Mr. Speaker, these petty efforts by groups offended by the religious significance of Christmas violates the freedom of religion our Founding Fathers provided for us in the Constitution. This Congress and in Congresses past, I have introduced a resolution to protect the symbols and traditions of Christmas for those who celebrate the holiday.

“The resolution also disapproves of efforts to ban references to Christmas. We must not allow those who chose to take offense to shut down the religious celebration of every other American.”

So let’s examine Rep. Lamborn’s assertions:

  • “According to a recent poll, 9 out of 10 Americans celebrate Christmas.”
  • Define “celebrate, please. One third of Americans celebrate Christmas as a cultural rather than religious holiday; less than half will attend any religious services.

  • “There have been many examples of atheist groups working to remove public nativity displays and other decorations.”
  • We’ve talked about not treating one religion over another; that’s the establishment clause of the First Amendment. If a municipality offers displays to all religions equally, then there is no problem; however when Baby Jeebus goes on display and the Satanists are told to pound dirt, well, then there’s a problem.

  • “… petty efforts by groups offended by the religious significance of Christmas violates the freedom of religion our Founding Fathers provided for us in the Constitution.”
  • Mr. Lamborn doesn’t seem to understand the Constitution, which is remarkable for an elected official.

  • “Just last year in my home State of Colorado, an anti­religious organization filed a lawsuit against school officials for their support of student­led involvement with Operation Christmas Child.”
  • This one is really easy. Operation Christmas Child is an explicitly evangelistic initiative founded by the Rev. Franklin Graham. The project sends shoeboxes packed with toys, toiletries, and religious tracts to children in developing countries and the goal is conversion. The American Humanist Association brought a suit to stop it because it was using public schools and children to collect donations and assemble the gifts and Xristian religious tracts (and therefore violating the Establishment Clause). It should be noted that they saw it as free, child labor.

  • “The resolution also disapproves of efforts to ban references to Christmas. We must not allow those who chose to take offense to shut down the religious celebration of every other American.”
  • And please name one instance, just one, of anyone banning references to Christmas. This is just the Falafel Bill-O clause, claiming that unnamed entities are banning Christmas.

Anyway, Mr. Lamborn continues to be an easily offended Xristian who would instantly sell out the Constitution that he doesn’t understand for a theocracy that he does. Anyway, this is our Congress at work paying religious whack-jobs like Rep. Lamborn.

Whip-it Good

piggy-bank

JPMorgan Chase CEO Jamie Dimon made calls to lawmakers on Thursday urging them to support the “cromnibus” spending bill, House Financial Services Committee ranking member Maxine Waters (D-Calif.) told reporters.

The bill sets the banks free to gamble with taxpayer dollars, so gee, I guess cancer-free Jamie might have felt it was worth his time to become the unofficial whip for the Republicans?

(The Hill)