What Are They Doing Now: Bob McDonnell

Rolex Bob McDonnell gets what he deserves

Rolex Bob McDonnell gets what he deserves

The last time we checked in with smooth criminal and former Virginia Gov. Rolex Bob McDonnell, both he and his wife were found guilty of Public Corruption charges, and of course being polite grifters, each was pointing to the other, because the best defense is to be so strongly offensive? Yes, we’ll go with that. They are to be sentenced soon (January 6 for him, Feb. 20th for her)

So the news today is that the US Probation Office who set guidelines for sentencing federal offenders has returned with the suggestion that Ol’ Sticky Fingers be sentenced to no less than 10 years and one month to no more than 12 years and 7 months. The report is sealed and so no one is sure how that range of years was determined, but there are some clues:

  • McDonnell is a high-ranking politician
  • McDonnell took multiple bribes
  • The total value of the bribes was so high

So be of good cheer: “U.S. District Judge James Spencer is not required to follow [the guidelines]. But experts said Spencer typically heeds the probation office’s advice, and judges in his district have imposed sentences within the recommended range more than 70 percent of the time in recent years.”

Sometimes the crooks get what they have coming. We’ll keep an eye on this one.

News That Will Drive You To Drink

drunk_santa

It’s that most wonderful time of the year, when Members of Congress like Rep. Doug Lamborn (R-Colo.) propose counter-insurgency measures to the (nonexistent) War on Christmas:

CONGRESSIONAL RECORD HOUSE SPEECHES AND INSERTS PAGE H8944
Dec. 10, 2014
THE CHRISTMAS RESOLUTION
(Mr. LAMBORN asked and was given permission to address the House for 1 minute.)

“Mr. LAMBORN. Mr. Speaker, it is the most wonderful time of the year, a time when millions of Americans gather together to celebrate Christmas. For many of us, Christmas is a time to remember the humble birth of our Savior on a holy night more than 2,000 years ago in the town of Bethlehem. We give thanks for Jesus’ message of love and peace and remember the sacrifice He made for us all. It is a season of giving, of love, and of joy.

“According to a recent poll, 9 out of 10 Americans celebrate Christmas. Sadly, however, there is a troubling effort in America led by a vocal minority to remove the symbols and traditions of Christmas from the public arena.

“There have been many examples of atheist groups working to remove public nativity displays and other decorations. Just last year in my home State of Colorado, an anti­religious organization filed a lawsuit against school officials for their support of student­led [sic] involvement with Operation Christmas Child.

“Mr. Speaker, these petty efforts by groups offended by the religious significance of Christmas violates the freedom of religion our Founding Fathers provided for us in the Constitution. This Congress and in Congresses past, I have introduced a resolution to protect the symbols and traditions of Christmas for those who celebrate the holiday.

“The resolution also disapproves of efforts to ban references to Christmas. We must not allow those who chose to take offense to shut down the religious celebration of every other American.”

So let’s examine Rep. Lamborn’s assertions:

  • “According to a recent poll, 9 out of 10 Americans celebrate Christmas.”
  • Define “celebrate, please. One third of Americans celebrate Christmas as a cultural rather than religious holiday; less than half will attend any religious services.

  • “There have been many examples of atheist groups working to remove public nativity displays and other decorations.”
  • We’ve talked about not treating one religion over another; that’s the establishment clause of the First Amendment. If a municipality offers displays to all religions equally, then there is no problem; however when Baby Jeebus goes on display and the Satanists are told to pound dirt, well, then there’s a problem.

  • “… petty efforts by groups offended by the religious significance of Christmas violates the freedom of religion our Founding Fathers provided for us in the Constitution.”
  • Mr. Lamborn doesn’t seem to understand the Constitution, which is remarkable for an elected official.

  • “Just last year in my home State of Colorado, an anti­religious organization filed a lawsuit against school officials for their support of student­led involvement with Operation Christmas Child.”
  • This one is really easy. Operation Christmas Child is an explicitly evangelistic initiative founded by the Rev. Franklin Graham. The project sends shoeboxes packed with toys, toiletries, and religious tracts to children in developing countries and the goal is conversion. The American Humanist Association brought a suit to stop it because it was using public schools and children to collect donations and assemble the gifts and Xristian religious tracts (and therefore violating the Establishment Clause). It should be noted that they saw it as free, child labor.

  • “The resolution also disapproves of efforts to ban references to Christmas. We must not allow those who chose to take offense to shut down the religious celebration of every other American.”
  • And please name one instance, just one, of anyone banning references to Christmas. This is just the Falafel Bill-O clause, claiming that unnamed entities are banning Christmas.

Anyway, Mr. Lamborn continues to be an easily offended Xristian who would instantly sell out the Constitution that he doesn’t understand for a theocracy that he does. Anyway, this is our Congress at work paying religious whack-jobs like Rep. Lamborn.

Whip-it Good

piggy-bank

JPMorgan Chase CEO Jamie Dimon made calls to lawmakers on Thursday urging them to support the “cromnibus” spending bill, House Financial Services Committee ranking member Maxine Waters (D-Calif.) told reporters.

The bill sets the banks free to gamble with taxpayer dollars, so gee, I guess cancer-free Jamie might have felt it was worth his time to become the unofficial whip for the Republicans?

(The Hill)

Your Daily Gohmert

gohmert

“But if we’re funding everything he wants except for certain items that are his little pet piece or saying, like, we’re not going to fund any more golf outings or any more trips, vacations where he and his family travel on different planes. Just things in America go, really Mr. President, you can keep the government running and yet you’re the one saying, ‘No I want my golf outings, I want my czar for this and my czar for that,’ really, you will shut down the government over that?”

Screwie Louie threatening to shut down the gubmint over golf.

Guilty! Of Bad Taste and Manners as Well as Corruption

All Mink And No Manners

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Bob “Sticky Fingers” McDonnell was found guilty on 11 out of 13 counts of public corruption. Big Mo was found guilty of 9 out of 13 counts.

We need to remember that McDonnell was being groomed for national politics, and was at one point being vetted by The Stench for the runner-up in the 2012 Goat Rodeo.

So much for the crazy wife defense.

How Much Is that McConnell In The Window?

Chinless Mitch explains the birds and bees, or what he is about to do to the country?

Chinless Mitch explains the birds and bees, or what he is about to do to the country?

Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell took off his low heels and put on his ‘ho heels to talk to the Koch Brothers:

So in the House and Senate, we own the budget. So what does that mean? That means that we can pass the spending bill. And I assure you that in the spending bill, we will be pushing back against this bureaucracy by doing what’s called placing riders in the bill. No money can be spent to do this or to do that. We’re going to go after them on healthcare, on financial services, on the Environmental Protection Agency, across the board (inaudible). All across the federal government, we’re going to go after it…

…And we’re not going to be debating all these gosh darn proposals. That’s all we do in the Senate is vote on things like raising the minimum wage (inaudible)—cost the country 500,000 new jobs; extending unemployment—that’s a great message for retirees; uh, the student loan package the other day, that’s just going to make things worse, uh. These people believe in all the wrong things.

The Nation has an audio recording of amply be-chinned Mitch telling the Kochs, essentially, what he can do for them. Retail politics indeed.

Summer Replacement Series: Bob McDonnell Trial

Bob McDonell surreal

For those of you looking for fresh scandal now that benghazi! Benghazi! BENGHAZI!!!1! seems to be in summer reruns, we present for your entertainment the grasping Bob McDonnell’s—and his social climbing wife Maureen—trial for corruption, which begins tomorrow!

The onetime rising Republican star and his wife, Maureen, could be sentenced to decades in prison if convicted of the charges in a 14-count indictment issued by a grand jury 10 days after McDonnell left office in January. They are accused of accepting more than $165,000 in gifts and loans from Jonnie Williams, the founder of a dietary supplements company, in exchange for helping to promote his products.

Legal experts have said the case is no slam-dunk for the prosecution, however, and exceptionally strident language in court filings point to a no-holds-barred battle that will pit the motives and credibility of the former first couple against Williams, who will testify for the prosecution under immunity. Defense attorneys have suggested the case is politically motivated and argued that prosecutors have stretched the meaning of federal bribery laws to cover routine and long-accepted political courtesies.

A Wingnuttian governor with his hand out? Stay tuned, this should be fun. From what I can guess, Big Mo is really the one to watch, as she would call up Jonnie Williams and ask for him to buy Range Rovers for the kids, wedding parties for the daughters, and high couture for herself.

This is how Wingnuttia rolls

The Finger

We’ll start the day with a story that illustrate the point that for Wingnuts, it’s not how you play the game that counts, it’s that you win at all costs:

Boy exorcist and noted volcano scholar Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal signed a bill into law on Friday that kills a current lawsuit against 97 oil and gas companies that was filed by the New Orleans regional levee board Southeast Louisiana Flood Protection Authority-East. The new law could negatively affect state and government claims against BP over the 2010 Gulf of Mexico oil spill.

Before everyone gets huffy and puffy let’s recall that politicians are hired to do their jobs by the corporations that represent them. They do not work for you and me. So while we might be outraged at Jindal’s actions, for BP (for instance) Jindal represents a good return on their relatively small investment.