Your Daily Gohmert


“But if we’re funding everything he wants except for certain items that are his little pet piece or saying, like, we’re not going to fund any more golf outings or any more trips, vacations where he and his family travel on different planes. Just things in America go, really Mr. President, you can keep the government running and yet you’re the one saying, ‘No I want my golf outings, I want my czar for this and my czar for that,’ really, you will shut down the government over that?”

Screwie Louie threatening to shut down the gubmint over golf.

Guilty! Of Bad Taste and Manners as Well as Corruption

All Mink And No Manners


Bob “Sticky Fingers” McDonnell was found guilty on 11 out of 13 counts of public corruption. Big Mo was found guilty of 9 out of 13 counts.

We need to remember that McDonnell was being groomed for national politics, and was at one point being vetted by The Stench for the runner-up in the 2012 Goat Rodeo.

So much for the crazy wife defense.

How Much Is that McConnell In The Window?

Chinless Mitch explains the birds and bees, or what he is about to do to the country?

Chinless Mitch explains the birds and bees, or what he is about to do to the country?

Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell took off his low heels and put on his ‘ho heels to talk to the Koch Brothers:

So in the House and Senate, we own the budget. So what does that mean? That means that we can pass the spending bill. And I assure you that in the spending bill, we will be pushing back against this bureaucracy by doing what’s called placing riders in the bill. No money can be spent to do this or to do that. We’re going to go after them on healthcare, on financial services, on the Environmental Protection Agency, across the board (inaudible). All across the federal government, we’re going to go after it…

…And we’re not going to be debating all these gosh darn proposals. That’s all we do in the Senate is vote on things like raising the minimum wage (inaudible)—cost the country 500,000 new jobs; extending unemployment—that’s a great message for retirees; uh, the student loan package the other day, that’s just going to make things worse, uh. These people believe in all the wrong things.

The Nation has an audio recording of amply be-chinned Mitch telling the Kochs, essentially, what he can do for them. Retail politics indeed.

Summer Replacement Series: Bob McDonnell Trial

Bob McDonell surreal

For those of you looking for fresh scandal now that benghazi! Benghazi! BENGHAZI!!!1! seems to be in summer reruns, we present for your entertainment the grasping Bob McDonnell’s—and his social climbing wife Maureen—trial for corruption, which begins tomorrow!

The onetime rising Republican star and his wife, Maureen, could be sentenced to decades in prison if convicted of the charges in a 14-count indictment issued by a grand jury 10 days after McDonnell left office in January. They are accused of accepting more than $165,000 in gifts and loans from Jonnie Williams, the founder of a dietary supplements company, in exchange for helping to promote his products.

Legal experts have said the case is no slam-dunk for the prosecution, however, and exceptionally strident language in court filings point to a no-holds-barred battle that will pit the motives and credibility of the former first couple against Williams, who will testify for the prosecution under immunity. Defense attorneys have suggested the case is politically motivated and argued that prosecutors have stretched the meaning of federal bribery laws to cover routine and long-accepted political courtesies.

A Wingnuttian governor with his hand out? Stay tuned, this should be fun. From what I can guess, Big Mo is really the one to watch, as she would call up Jonnie Williams and ask for him to buy Range Rovers for the kids, wedding parties for the daughters, and high couture for herself.

This is how Wingnuttia rolls

The Finger

We’ll start the day with a story that illustrate the point that for Wingnuts, it’s not how you play the game that counts, it’s that you win at all costs:

Boy exorcist and noted volcano scholar Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal signed a bill into law on Friday that kills a current lawsuit against 97 oil and gas companies that was filed by the New Orleans regional levee board Southeast Louisiana Flood Protection Authority-East. The new law could negatively affect state and government claims against BP over the 2010 Gulf of Mexico oil spill.

Before everyone gets huffy and puffy let’s recall that politicians are hired to do their jobs by the corporations that represent them. They do not work for you and me. So while we might be outraged at Jindal’s actions, for BP (for instance) Jindal represents a good return on their relatively small investment.

The Morning Quote

Republicans on vacation.

After a tumultuous week of party infighting and leadership stumbles, congressional Republicans are focused on calming their divided ranks in the months ahead, mostly by touting proposals that have wide backing within the GOP and shelving any big-ticket legislation for the rest of the year.


So… Wingnuttia decided that their best strategy for 2014 is to hibernate for 8 months and do and say nothing? Is that because they know that their policies are amazingly unpopular, their candidates are loathed, or just sheer refusal to do their jobs.

On the bright side, this allows them to be defined by the opposition (I mean, other than the Teabaggers who will define them anyway), and by their fringe candidates. “Legitimate Rape” anyone?

A Populist Rant

A cure for whatever ailes me
Turdblossom expresses himself

Majorities of the middle class have voted against their own self interest since the Reagan Era began. We remain in a death spiral where our chest-tightening, middle-class anxiety feeds our bad choices — fueled by not-even-below-the-surface racial/gender/sexual orientation hatred and the Xristian Xrazie-fueled culture wars. Pete Wilson invented wedge-issue politics, and Karl Rove perfected it with the stolen elections of Chimpy McStagger.

But, at the end of 2013, we might be on the edge of the promise of the Occupy movement: there seems to be a whiff of populism in the air, despite all the noise over distractions that Wingnuttia throws at us (See Christmas, War On), Twittering on the Twatter, Facebooking, and Reality TeeVee.

Larry Summers

In a previous post, I mentioned that Clinton-era warmed over weak-tea economic advisor Larry Summers wrote about stagnation is the new normal. Given that ol’ Larry was the one who convinced Big Dawg to sign the law that scrapped Glass-Steagall, well, maybe he was bragging that his plan was working as designed?

As seems obvious to most, this War on the Middle Class will leave us with a few people on the top of a huge pile of ill-gotten gains, and everyone else in the bottom (the 99%), you know, where they belong according to the 1%ers. We are told that resistance is futile and we should graciously accept the few crumbs that the plutocrats deign to throw our way.


As I mentioned earlier, this demolishing of the middle class is not an immutable law of nature, it is the result of nearly 40 years of policy designed to do this. Let’s be clear: it is the policy of the United States government for the last 30+ years to serve only the interests of corporations and their owners.

However, policy can be changed, and we can change it.

Here’s a few ideas, in no particular order of things we must change, and can change:

  • Raise taxes on the richest Americans, back to pre-Reagan 70 percent, and close the damn loopholes.
  • paris-hiltonRestore some sanity to inherited wealth. Do we really want to enable Paris Hilton’s lifestyle? Think of it as an intervention.
  • Tax Wall Street transactions. Kick the Hedge Funders right in the balls.
  • Enforce antitrust laws to stop anti-competitive mergers and acquisitions and break up such mega-merged industries as banking, airlines, gas, phone networks, broadcasting, etc. If the laws are not robust enough, then we need new ones.
  • hoovervillesChange the tax code so that it removes incentives for bad-boy economic behavior (such as out-sourcing US jobs overseas, CEO bastards’ out-of-control compensation, and the gambling that lead to our current Second Great Depression). Maybe besides removing incentives, these changes should punish this sort of thing.
  • Enact a new Glass-Steagall law. D’uh.
  • Embark on a spending spree for research and education. K-through college needs to be funded such that anyone who wants to go on to higher ed can go on and not end up with crippling debt. We need to take first place in having an educated populace, like we once did.
  • We need a Kennedy-style man-on-the-moon challenge for clean energy, and climate change. The so-called Carbon Tax would be a good way to fund it, too.
  • star-trek-corsetNerd Alert: We must fund NASA. We need some ’60s optimism again, and every dollar invested returns in multiples of benefits. It’s not just Tang and Teflon.
  • Outlaw the influence-peddling in D.C. Some call it lobbying, but I’m a simple man and call it legalized bribery.
  • Pass a constitutional amendment to roll back Citizens United. Heck, amend the constitution to explicitly state that corporations are not people. They are not even Soylent Green.
  • Pass the union-enabling card check legislation, and make union-busting patently illegal.
  • Clinton 2008Cancel all the Free Trade deals. Just kill ‘em dead. Another fine finger-fuck from Bill Clinton, by the way. Ross Perot was right about that sucking sound. Er, that other sucking sound.
  • We are not Great Britain. We must get out of the empire business. It didn’t end well for them, and it won’t end well for us.
  • Our stimulating the economy only through a Reagan-like build-up of the military-industrial complex would be better spent on, oh, I don’t know, building and operating high-speed trains (I’m writing this draft on the train, duh). Let’s try some nation-building at home.
  • Reform the Media. It’s not just a question of the long-dead Fairness Doctrine, but the media should be serving the people. The airwaves belong to us, so news outlets that demonstrably and intentionally misinform us (Lie To Us) should be penalized for their misdeeds. (Yes, I’m looking at you Fox. I’m also looking at CBS, NBC, and ABC.)

Our Betters are doing fine, thanks. Corporate profits and cash on hand is at a record high; while real hourly wages are lower than when Chimpy was “elected” in 2000.

Wingnuttia is emboldened to cut food stamps and unemployment assistance during a depression. Gallup tells us that 72 percent of respondents said big government is a bigger threat to the nation’s future than big business or big labor. [sic, and also ha-ha. Big Labor! Killer material, dude.]

Yeah, we are dumber, less engaged in the common good than we are in reality TeeVee. I think a combination of bloggers, muckrakers, and an engaged citizenry can help to lead to a new progressive era.


Call to Action

I read someplace that no rant should be without a call to action. Choose a topic above, any one of ‘em, and email your representatives in Congress and ask them what they are doing about that topic, what their position is. Be friendly but be persistent. When they blow you off (and they will, usually with a form letter), call them. The staffer will blow you off, too, but they will tally the number of calls that they get on any topic or piece of legislation.

A family friend who worked as a staffer told me that almost never do the officials read their constituents’ email, and said essentially that it is the lowest form of “talking” to the representative; lower than faxes. Phone calls come next (there was some metric that they use like each call counts for 100 people), but real letters, physical mail is the gold standard for being heard. The Representative sees a stack of letters and starts to sweat a little.

Let’s make ‘em sweat.

The Wingnuttian Kobayashi Maru

The GOP Uncivil War, Cont.

Musical accompaniment for this post.

This is somewhat new to me, and see if you can follow along:

  1. The GOP-led House passes a bill to fund the government through Dec. 15.
  2. The GOP-led House expects (demands?) GOP Senators to filibuster it.
  3. The GOP-led House gets to claim that they passed legislation and the GOP Senators get the blame for the legislation failing (the government shuts down) or the legislation passes and the GOP Senators gets the blame for Obamacare.

So the Wingnuttian master plan is to pass legislation and then hope that legislation fails in the Senate?

I think what we are witnessing are the seams of the straight jacket ripping apart. The House Republicans and the Senate Republicans are fighting for each other to get the blame for funding ObamaCare and/or shutting down the government.

And as a cherry on top (of the straight jacket? Metaphors are hard…), high-pitched Senator Ted Cruz is on the House’s side and the House hates him for being on their side.