Some Fries With Your Stupid, One-L


Our old pal One-L continues to be excited by the end times:

I’m all in favor of it if Y’all Qaeda gets raptured up and we never have to deal with them again! Win-win, says I. Pro tip: don’t look up if they do get raptured; seeing Phyllis Schlafly or Pat Robertson overhead in the buff with their grim look of satisfaction is not a sight you probably want to see.

Some Fries With Your Stupid, One-L?


The blog’s old pal Michele ‘One-L’ Bachmann has fallen off our radar lately, but she’s still agitating Y’all Qaeda in the background. But today she’s found her voice and is offering us a two-fer:

Iran is planning on stockpiling their (nonexistent) nukes on Cuba to be aimed right at us! You know, just like during the Kennedy Administration.

I guess One-L is one of those Republican Women who get universally gooey and moist over Marco ‘Big Gulp’ Rubio, the candidate of the next generation who wants to force-birth women (1973), shove gays back into the closet (1969), and embargo Cuba (1960).

Our Old Pal One-L Breaks Her Vow Of Silence!

"Nothing less than a Benjamin, baby!"

“Nothing less than a Benjamin, baby!”

With his Iran deal, Barack Obama is for the 300 million souls of the United States what Andreas Lubitz was for the 150 souls on the German Wings flight – a deranged pilot flying his entire nation into the rocks. After the fact, among the smoldering remains of American cities, the shocked survivors will ask, why did he do it? [Facebook]

One-L To Make Her Screen Debut!

Liz Cheney: "I'm ready for your close up, Michele."

Liz Cheney: “I’m ready for your close up, Michele.”

Former Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-Minn.) on Tuesday starred in a cameo for “Sharknado 3,” the cult-classic fantasy movie series featuring vicious, airborne sharks riding deadly tornadoes from the sea. The 2012 Republican presidential candidate was spotted with a film crew outside the White House, presumably before the disaster hits Washington, D.C.

She was born to play this role. If she get eated-up by a shark this will be the feel-good movie of the year!

The Sunday Talkies


All the usual suspects will be saying all the usual BS, but when I was scanning to see who the PowerHouse-Pundit Panels would be today, one network stands alone for potential hilarity:

(CNN) Rick Perry, former Texas Governor and a potential 2016 Republican candidate, talks about his fellow Republicans and what U.S. foreign policy would look like under a President Perry.

I’m dyin’ already, but wait for it…

Michele Bachmann, Donna Brazile, and Peter Baker on John Boehner’s bravado, the GOP’s united front against Hillary Clinton and the grassroots backlash against Jeb Bush.

Dana Bash hosts State of the Union this Sunday at 9am and 12pm ET on CNN.

Brother Charlie Pierce is a lucky man. God loves him.

News That Will Drive You To Drink


Michele Bachmann is 2014 ‘Lawmaker of the Year’

Bachmann: Peace On Earth, Goodwill To Men, And Bomb Iran


Our old pal One-L’s Christmas Wish List is simple.

According to Bachmann, she waited until she and her family had their picture taken with the President and — after her family left the stage – spoke with the President whose response she called, “condescending.”

“I turned to the president and I said, something to the effect of, ‘Mr. President, you need to bomb the Iranian nuclear facilities, because if you don’t, Iran will have a nuclear weapon on your watch and the course of world history will change,’” Bachmann explained.

According to the Republican congresswoman, the President laughed at her.

“And he got his condescending smile on his face and laughed at me and said, ‘Well Michele, it’s just not that easy,’ ” she said. “And I said to him, ‘No, Mr. President, you’re the president, it will happen on your watch, and you’ll have to answer to the world for this.’ And that was it and then I left. Merry Christmas.”

Goodbye, One-L, We Hardly Knew Ye

And with a whimper the strange career of Minnesota’s best known baby mill operator and theocrat in Congress closes.

But we will always have One-L, the girl with the Nancy Reagan tattoo, in our hearts, like the time she hid behind a hedge so she could spy on a gay rally, or when she fled the bathroom to avoid the advances of some lesbians, or all her talk of flying Imans, or the time she accused her congressional colleague Rep. Keith Ellison of being a Mooselume traitor, or the time she called for a McCarthy-like witch hunt of the US Congress to look for disloyal members, or the time she vise-like clutched Chimpy after the SOTUA and wouldn’t let him go, or the time she gave the Teabaggers rebuttal to the SOTUA to her friends from the planet Xemoxq. And then there’s the time she ran for preznint, declared that the american revolution began in New Hampshire, praised John Wayne Gacey… Well, Rachel has said it all before:

I’m Gonna Miss Her…


Our old pal One-L is in a league of her own:

Roma, Texas (CNN) — Michele Bachmann leapt out of a black SUV near a high cliff overlooking the Rio Grande, dashed to the edge of a boulder and scanned the river that divides her country from another.

It was a quiet Friday afternoon in this border town where immigrants routinely sneak across the river in inflatable rafts, climb a ravine and seek shelter in a local church. But at this moment, there was little more to see on the Mexican side than some fishermen casting rods and a few horses snacking near the river.

“Today it’s dead,” said Bachmann, a Republican congresswoman from Minnesota, sounding disappointed.

She blamed the stillness on the presence of a hand-held CNN camera.

So Elmer Fudd-like, One-L was gonna catch herself a wabbit, er, immigrant?

Bonus: if you follow the link and watch the video, you get to see IA’s own Steven King present the ultimate border fence.

We’re Sure Marcus Is Picking Them


Michelle Bachmann gets round-the-clock bodyguards

Rep. Michelle Bachmann (R-MN) is getting her own security detail to protect her against Islamic State militants.

The lawmaker’s office referred reporters to Capitol Police, Politico reported, but law enforcement officials declined to specify details of the threat.

“They need to be big guys, with thighs like pistons,” Marcus did not say, “with big, big guns. Oh, yes.”

(Hat tip: Scissorhead Wagonjak)