— Callista Gingrich (@CallyGingrich) September 26, 2013
Newticles and Calli are secret furries?
(Hat tip: Scissorhead Mr. C. Montgomery Burns)
…and then he became California’s Gropenator.
Here we go again, another GOP youthful indescretion…
(Hubba-hubba! Pete Domenici ABC News)
Statement by Pete Domenici More than 30 years ago, I fathered a child outside my marriage. The mother of that child made me pledge that we would never reveal that parenthood, and I have tried to honor that pledge and so has she. I have been concerned about the burden of privacy on the son Adam Laxalt.
I am also worried about the impact of these revelations on his mother, Michelle Laxalt. However, rather than have others breach this privacy, I have decided to make this statement today. These circumstances now compel me to reveal this situation.
My past action has caused hurt and disappointment to my wife, children, family, and others. For that I am solely responsible. My family has been aware of these events for several months. I have apologized as best as I can to my wife, and we have worked together to strengthen our relationship.
I deeply regret this and am very sorry for my behavior. I hope New Mexicans will view that my accomplishments for my beloved state outweigh my personal transgression. I only ask that everyone respect the privacy of my family and the son’s mother. None of them wanted this publicity, none of them deserve the hurt of this revelation, and only I should bear the brunt of this matter.
It should be noted for the record that Senator Domenici voted to impeach Bill Clinton over a blow job, which I believe would be when his young bastard would be oh, less than 10. But then again, Domenici would have been a youthful and indiscreet man of 50 or so. Anyway onto the woman he done wrong (emphasis mine):
Statement by Michelle Laxalt
I come from a political family and learned early in life the value of privacy. I vowed that I would make personal decisions based not on politics, but on my values. This self-pledge was tested when one night’s mistake led to pregnancy more than 30 years ago. I chose to go through with that pregnancy, although other choices were available. I also chose to raise my child as a single parent. Given the fact that both my father and the father of my child were United States senators, I felt strongly that I would make this choice according to my values, and would not seek advice, input or permission. My interaction with my child’s father consisted of telling him my decision, asking that he avail himself for health-related purposes, and asking that he agree that this remain private between the two of us.
I raised my son, Adam Paul, as a single parent. He lived surrounded by love and joy and opportunity. I am proud of him, yet saddened that the circumstances of his birth might be used like a weapon to hurt many we love. Recently information has come to me that this sacred situation might be twisted, re-written out of whole cloth, and shopped to press outlets large and small in a vicious attempt to smear, hurt and diminish Pete Domenici, an honorable man, his extraordinary wife, Nancy, and other innocents.
Why after more than 30 years, would anyone insinuate pain and ugliness where joy and beauty have presided?
Well, it takes some brass to talk about values as they relate to making the sign of the beast with two backs with a colleague of your father’s and of his age (ewww, gross) and not married to you. It is also telling that a person with your entitlement and privileges can lead a successful life following your youthful indiscretion.
Again, I don’t care who consents to have a relationship with whom. But I do think that when it comes to professional scolds like Pete Domenici it becomes much more interesting. His hypocrisy is stunning. As for Michelle Laxalt (a noted Fox Contributor) she was able to raise a fine son (he sounds very accomplished, truly), but as a daughter of a Senator and Governor it is safe to say she was not on her own. It is rather galling that Wingnuts want to cut the social safety net for single moms who do not happen to be having bastards with Senators.
UPDATE 1: Charlie Pierce has the best Domenici story I’ve read yet.
What is it about governors of the Palmetto state and adultery? First there was infamous amateur castanets player and Appalachian Trail hiking Governor Mark “Kiss Me South of the Border” Sanford with his Argentine firecracker lady, and now current governor and alleged adulteress Nikki Haley finds herself listed as a party in a divorce proceeding.
Take it away, Crooks and Liars:
S.C. Gov. Nikki Haley is one of three “other women” named in a divorce lawsuit filed in Richland County, S.C. earlier this month.
According to court documents obtained exclusively by FITS, Jennifer Marchant – wife of prominent S.C. State House lobbyist Larry Marchant – is suing her husband for divorce on the grounds of infidelity.
One of the three women Marchant accuses her husband of cheating on her with? You guessed it … Haley.
The lawsuit was filed in Richland County family court on February 6 . A preliminary hearing in the case has been scheduled for 11:00 a.m. on February 20.
Marchant submitted an affidavit in October 2010 – swearing that he and Haley had a one night stand in Salt Lake City, Utah in June 2008.
Generally, I don’t give a damn who is inserting tab A into slot B, but when that person is a professional scold and Xristian Xrazie, I think it makes it more interesting. When it is someone who is actively limiting access to sex education, family planning, and ultimately the ability to have a safe and legal abortion, while wrapping it all up in a sneering, slut-shaming bow, well, maybe I take more notice.
Haley is famous for saying that women don’t care about contraception… but I’m willing to bet she used some when she was making the beast with two backs with someone not her husband.
Another GOP rising star caught red-handed, if you know what I mean and I think you do:
“Nebraska Lt. Gov. Rick Sheehy resigned Saturday after “breaking the public trust,” Gov. Dave Heineman said.”
“The Omaha World-Herald reported that Sheehy resigned after it raised questions about improper cellphone calls to four women, none of which were his wife, during the past four years. The World-Herald said in its online additions Saturday that it discovered Sheehy made thousands of late-night calls to the women on his state-issued cellphone.”
They fail to mention if Senator Vitter gave him the phone numbers, but still! Thousands of calls?! Dude needs a hobby. Um, another hobby.
The crack research team at Mock, Paper, Scissors has done it again! We’ve spent literally minutes analyzing all the known players and whatnot involved in the nefarious Petraeus Sexy-Time Affair and documented the timeline in this handy cut-out-and-keep chart!
(Actual factual information from The Week)
Well, that didn’t take long!
(Daily Beast) Is this the face that launched a thousand quips?
“After a marathon meeting to decide his fate, the board of trustees of The King’s College, a small evangelical school based in Manhattan, announced Thursday that conservative author Dinesh D’Souza had resigned as president. Former president and current chairman Andy Mills, who made the announcement to faculty and staff, will return as interim president for a third time.”
Alert readers may recall that intellectually dishonest and morally degenerate GOP sex lizard and notable word-writer D’vorce D’Spousa was taking his mistress with him on book signing tours and introducing her as his fiancée, even though he is currently still married to his current wife, and it seems his squeeze is still married to her current husband, which, technically makes them, oh, what’s the word? ADULTERERS and of course Xristian Xrazie hypocrites. Oh, he was also pulling in a cool million bucks per year to be the president of a school with a total enrollment of about 400 students (give or take), so that was some expensive slap and tickle ol’ D’vorce was playing. Anyway, let’s continue shall we?
“God has a mighty future for Dinesh, but there are some things he has to go through first,” Mills said after breaking the news to King’s students Thursday afternoon.
“Some things to go through first”? oh, like maybe a little FIRE AND BRIMSTONE AND ETERNAL DAMNATION?!
We here at the innernets intersection of Snark and Spitball Mock, Paper, Scissors if truth be told are nothing if not a bit sentimental, and perhaps a tad romantic, and it is with that thought in mind I bring you great tidings of joy:
Former Appalachian Trail hiking sex fiend, and former South Carolina Governor and Xristian Xrazy scold and infamous horn-dog Mark Sanford is now engaged to his Argentine firecracker mistress lady with whom he cheated on his then-wife!
Yes, today the story can be told:
Former S.C. Gov. Mark Sanford has proposed marriage to his girlfriend, Maria Belen Chapur, according to a Argentinian newspaper, Clarin.
According to a story in the newspaper’s society section, the two “became engaged last Wednesday, at noon, in the Palermo restaurant Bella Italia Grill.”
The paper said Sanford arrived early at the restaurant and gave “a bag with the (engagement) ring to one of the waiters,” asking him to “to invent a good story for his girlfriend.”
Sanford then hid in a bathroom.
When Chapur arrived, the waiter said she had won “a prize” for being the 100th customer of the day and handed her the bag, which she opened, finding the ring. Sanford then appeared.
“What followed was a long moment of kisses, tears and emotions. There were heartfelt words and promises of eternity,” according to the Clarin article.
Sanford met Chapur in 2001 in Uruguay.
So romantic! The adulterer has found the adulteress of his dreams (until he–or she–cheats again)! I’m sure Newticles and Callista be the best man and matron of dishonor.