The Evening Quote



“Well, the cool thing about putting your faith in God is he certainly is a God of second chances and third and fourth and fifth chances.”

–Alaska’s part-time governor and full-time grifter Sarah Palin, who is describing Brisket Palin’s® future as she creates Mooselini’s third or fourth (depending) grandchild, and maybe is foreshadowing a few more to come? Sure, why not?

Great Ads, cont.

Wow. Just wow.

Republicans, Run For Cover!

The Haunted Vagina

“Adultery website has been hacked, potentially exposing names, addresses, and sexual preferences of millions of would-be cheaters just as the site’s owner was preparing to go public.”

“Oh, crap,” David Vitter did not say while in the enfants aisle at Walmart.

“We will release all customer records, profiles with all the customers’ secret sexual fantasies, nude pictures, and conversations and matching credit card transactions, real names and addresses,” the hackers wrote, according to Krebs. “Avid Life Media will be liable for fraud and extreme harm to millions of users.”

“There go my frequent flier miles,” staff-banging serial adulterer Newticles was not heard to mutter while looking fondly at his Visa card.


Your Bottomless Mug O’ Stupid

Yes, that is documentarian fabulist, convicted felon, and would-be bigamist D’VORCE D’SPOUSA dancing with his (allegedly) estranged wife Dixie—not making that up, by the way—on New Year’s Eve, published on Jan. 1, 2015.

That’s a very strange prison sentence he received.

Yet another prevarication from D’vorce D’Spousa

(Freakout Nation) Is this the Mistress that sunk a leaky ship? Who can imagine what would lead anyone to say that Dinesh D’Souza was a better option?

When last we left our hero, would-be bigamist and noted hunka burning love D’Vorce D’Spousa, he was introducing his also-married mistress as his fiancée before he had divorced his own wife, which of course raised some eyebrows at the Xristian Xrazie University that he was allegedly running. At the time he disingenuously claimed that he did not know that one need be divorced in order for one to be affianced. You will soon detect a pattern. Take it away, Livewire:

With D’Souza’s trial [in the federal campaign finance fraud case] a few weeks away, The New York Times reported Tuesday on a dispute that has played out in court papers over whether the case was politically motivated. D’Souza’s attorney has argued that his client was “targeted … because of his consistently caustic and highly publicized criticism” of President Obama. Federal prosecutors have called the idea “entirely without merit,” and have argued that D’Souza knew what he was doing was wrong.

Hmmm, so he’s blaming The Kenyan Usurper for his own breaking of the law?

According to the Times, prosecutors have also said that they have obtained a secret recording made independently last October by Joseph’s husband. Joseph was “recorded as saying that Mr. D’Souza had told her that if he were charged he might plead guilty, but would initially plead not guilty because that ‘gives him a window of opportunity to get his story out there,'” according to the Times.

And Raw Story has something to add, too:

That and “(t)he evidence of illegality with regard to his own and his wife’s contribution,” the U.S. Attorney’s office wrote, “will help prove that the defendant knew that what he was doing in August 2012 was wrong and it was not a fleeting, accidental misjudgment; it was part of a larger pattern of flouting campaign finance limits he knew existed.”

And I would conclude with noting that he has a long established pattern of conveniently claiming not to know something when in fact he does know it but that it doesn’t serve his purposes. It used to be called lying when I was a boy, but now willful ingnorance and/or lying seems to be a ham-handed Wingnuttian attempt at a get-out-of-Jail-Free card.

Newticles’ Cosplay

Newticles and Calli are secret furries?

(Hat tip: Scissorhead Mr. C. Montgomery Burns)

The Midday Palate Cleanser

…and then he became California’s Gropenator.

The Party of Personal Responsibility Salutes Pete Domenici

Here we go again, another GOP youthful indescretion…

(Hubba-hubba! Pete Domenici ABC News)

Statement by Pete Domenici More than 30 years ago, I fathered a child outside my marriage. The mother of that child made me pledge that we would never reveal that parenthood, and I have tried to honor that pledge and so has she. I have been concerned about the burden of privacy on the son Adam Laxalt.

I am also worried about the impact of these revelations on his mother, Michelle Laxalt. However, rather than have others breach this privacy, I have decided to make this statement today. These circumstances now compel me to reveal this situation.

My past action has caused hurt and disappointment to my wife, children, family, and others. For that I am solely responsible. My family has been aware of these events for several months. I have apologized as best as I can to my wife, and we have worked together to strengthen our relationship.

I deeply regret this and am very sorry for my behavior. I hope New Mexicans will view that my accomplishments for my beloved state outweigh my personal transgression. I only ask that everyone respect the privacy of my family and the son’s mother. None of them wanted this publicity, none of them deserve the hurt of this revelation, and only I should bear the brunt of this matter.

It should be noted for the record that Senator Domenici voted to impeach Bill Clinton over a blow job, which I believe would be when his young bastard would be oh, less than 10. But then again, Domenici would have been a youthful and indiscreet man of 50 or so. Anyway onto the woman he done wrong (emphasis mine):

Statement by Michelle Laxalt
I come from a political family and learned early in life the value of privacy. I vowed that I would make personal decisions based not on politics, but on my values. This self-pledge was tested when one night’s mistake led to pregnancy more than 30 years ago. I chose to go through with that pregnancy, although other choices were available. I also chose to raise my child as a single parent. Given the fact that both my father and the father of my child were United States senators, I felt strongly that I would make this choice according to my values, and would not seek advice, input or permission. My interaction with my child’s father consisted of telling him my decision, asking that he avail himself for health-related purposes, and asking that he agree that this remain private between the two of us.

I raised my son, Adam Paul, as a single parent. He lived surrounded by love and joy and opportunity. I am proud of him, yet saddened that the circumstances of his birth might be used like a weapon to hurt many we love. Recently information has come to me that this sacred situation might be twisted, re-written out of whole cloth, and shopped to press outlets large and small in a vicious attempt to smear, hurt and diminish Pete Domenici, an honorable man, his extraordinary wife, Nancy, and other innocents.

Why after more than 30 years, would anyone insinuate pain and ugliness where joy and beauty have presided?

Well, it takes some brass to talk about values as they relate to making the sign of the beast with two backs with a colleague of your father’s and of his age (ewww, gross) and not married to you. It is also telling that a person with your entitlement and privileges can lead a successful life following your youthful indiscretion.

Again, I don’t care who consents to have a relationship with whom. But I do think that when it comes to professional scolds like Pete Domenici it becomes much more interesting. His hypocrisy is stunning. As for Michelle Laxalt (a noted Fox Contributor) she was able to raise a fine son (he sounds very accomplished, truly), but as a daughter of a Senator and Governor it is safe to say she was not on her own. It is rather galling that Wingnuts want to cut the social safety net for single moms who do not happen to be having bastards with Senators.

UPDATE 1: Charlie Pierce has the best Domenici story I’ve read yet.

(ABQ Journal)

South Carolina: Hotbed of Unbridled Lust

What is it about governors of the Palmetto state and adultery? First there was infamous amateur castanets player and Appalachian Trail hiking Governor Mark “Kiss Me South of the Border” Sanford with his Argentine firecracker lady, and now current governor and alleged adulteress Nikki Haley finds herself listed as a party in a divorce proceeding.

Take it away, Crooks and Liars:

S.C. Gov. Nikki Haley is one of three “other women” named in a divorce lawsuit filed in Richland County, S.C. earlier this month.

According to court documents obtained exclusively by FITS, Jennifer Marchant – wife of prominent S.C. State House lobbyist Larry Marchant – is suing her husband for divorce on the grounds of infidelity.

One of the three women Marchant accuses her husband of cheating on her with? You guessed it … Haley.

The lawsuit was filed in Richland County family court on February 6 . A preliminary hearing in the case has been scheduled for 11:00 a.m. on February 20.

Marchant submitted an affidavit in October 2010 – swearing that he and Haley had a one night stand in Salt Lake City, Utah in June 2008.

Generally, I don’t give a damn who is inserting tab A into slot B, but when that person is a professional scold and Xristian Xrazie, I think it makes it more interesting. When it is someone who is actively limiting access to sex education, family planning, and ultimately the ability to have a safe and legal abortion, while wrapping it all up in a sneering, slut-shaming bow, well, maybe I take more notice.

Haley is famous for saying that women don’t care about contraception… but I’m willing to bet she used some when she was making the beast with two backs with someone not her husband.

(Crooks and Liars)

Today in Infidelity

Another GOP rising star caught red-handed, if you know what I mean and I think you do:

“Nebraska Lt. Gov. Rick Sheehy resigned Saturday after “breaking the public trust,” Gov. Dave Heineman said.”

“The Omaha World-Herald reported that Sheehy resigned after it raised questions about improper cellphone calls to four women, none of which were his wife, during the past four years. The World-Herald said in its online additions Saturday that it discovered Sheehy made thousands of late-night calls to the women on his state-issued cellphone.”

They fail to mention if Senator Vitter gave him the phone numbers, but still! Thousands of calls?! Dude needs a hobby. Um, another hobby.

(Politico and CNN)