Sen. Aqua Buddha Continues To Troll

And remember, Schroëdinger’s Candidate says that he has done more for minorities than anyone else.

Some Stupid For Your Coffee?

David Brody: “How is that conversation going with God about this potential presidential run? Has He grabbed you by the collar yet? I read an article about that.”

Ben Carson: “I feel fingers. But it’s mostly me. I have to be sure and it’s part of my personality that says always look before you leap but don’t leap before you have to.”

Ben Carson got fingered by God. This should give hope to Bill Cosby’s lawyers, I suppose.

How Could Rand Paul Resist

Politico is winning the morning!

Rand-Paul--Robocop

Sen. Rand Paul (R-Ky.) has snatched one of the GOP’s young digital stars from likely primary opponent Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas).

Vincent Harris and his Austin-based firm Harris Media late Monday joined up with RANDPAC, with Harris officially taking the job of chief digital strategist for the Kentucky Republican’s political operation.

Well, there’s a scoop. Tell us about the young (in GOP terms, young includes “still breathing”) nerd that famous plagiarist, immigrant-dodging land-speed record holder and shag-carpet topped Sen. Aqua Buddha has hired!

Harris, who led the 2014 digital campaign for Sen. Mitch McConnell, has ties to several potential Republican presidential candidates. He led Mike Huckabee’s digital efforts in the 2008 GOP presidential primaries. In 2012, he handled Cruz’s Senate campaign and also directed online strategy for Texas Gov. Rick Perry’s presidential bid.

That’s quite a streak of successes under this youngster’s belt. How could Schröedinger’s Candidate resist? So what’s in it for Harris? Why’d he do it?

In an interview Tuesday, Harris said he picked Paul because of the Kentucky Republican’s commitment to a strong 2016 digital campaign – and because they both are alumni of Baylor University.

Oh, so it’s a legacy hire. This is how the meritocracy of Wingnuttia rolls.

Politico Discovers The 2016 Goat Rodeo!

goat rodeo

Tiger Beat on the Potomac (thanks Charlie!) breathlessly tells us that the midterm election results have changed everything! Wingnuttia’s candidates are coming out of the woodworks, and Politico lists the TWENTY that should be taken seriously.

Thank-you Jeebus for this gift.

Some Fries With Your Stupid?

Frothy at night surreal surreal

“There was no one nicer than Jesse Helms. I mean, I don’t think a single Democrat would tell you that on a personal level, there was anybody that was more gentlemanly, more kind than Jesse.”

-Frothy mix of lube and fecal matter Rick Santorum

Carol Mosely-Braun begs to differ, Frothy.

Chuck Todd: $20, Same As In Town, Sailor

The Death of the Media

goat rodeo

From the transcript of Meet the Press:

CHUCK TODD:

…Carly Fiorina, before I let you go, how serious are you about running for president?

CARLY FIORINA:

That’ll be something I consider at the right time.

CHUCK TODD:

So are you considering?

CARLY FIORINA:

Well, when people ask you over and over again, you have to pause and reflect. So I’ll pause and reflect at the right time.

CHUCK TODD:

So that means it’s something you’re pondering? You’re going to go Iowa soon?

CARLY FIORINA:

You have to ponder when people keep asking. And I’ve been to Iowa plenty to help women engage and isn’t it fantastic that Joni Ernst won?

REID WILSON:

There’s a direct flight out of DCA now.

CHUCK TODD:

All right. That’s all for today. We’ll be back next week because if it’s Sunday, it’s Meet the Press.

I think it is time for NBC to break out Americans’ long-unfulfilled interest in luge racing and perhaps Canadian curling events of note; would you believe Japanese Bo-taoshi? There must me an international sporting event that they can play soon?

Gomer, The Populist 2016 Goat Rodeo Contender

i_heart_huckabees

An ordained Southern Baptist preacher with an easy-going demeanor, Huckabee presents himself as both a social conservative and an economic populist…..

[2008 campaign manager Chip] Saltsman, in an interview, said Huckabee would be a formidable opponent for the Democratic front-runner, Hillary Rodham Clinton, in part because he has studied her since their shared Arkansas days. He said Huckabee’s “common touch” and his ability to talk about income inequality would contrast with Clinton.

Oh, he’s in for sure. I guess he’s waiting until the last minute to keep the sweet, sweet money (and soapbox) on Fox News.

Fries With Your Stupid?

drill bit

From the legal mind of potential 2016 Goat Rodeo Contender Dr. Ben Carson:

As long as we reward people who break laws, they will continue to break laws. We do need a continual flow of immigrants, but choosers need not be beggars. We make decisions based on our needs. People who refuse to comply with the rules must forfeit chances of legalization in the future. Anyone caught involved in voter fraud should be immediately deported and have his citizenship revoked. The point is this: We must create a system that disincentivizes illegal immigration and upholds the rule of law while providing us with a steady stream of immigrants from other nations who will strengthen our society. Let’s solve the problem and stop playing political football.

So let me get this straight, Ben: non-citizens will become non-citizens if they commit voter fraud?