News That Will Drive You To Drink

Boy exorcist and noted volcano scholar Bobby Jindal

Boy exorcist and noted volcano scholar Bobby Jindal

Bobby Jindal Defends The Muslim ‘No-Go Zone’ Myth On His State Website

Boy exorcist and famous volcano scholar Bobby Jindal is doubling-down on his already doubled-down claim of the existence Muslim No-Go Zones (in Europe) as he jostles for pole position with noted Theocrat Mike ‘Uncle Sugar’ Huckabee to become Y’all Qaeda’s favorite candidate in the 2016 Goat Rodeo by stirring up fears of a caliphate in the Confederacy.

Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal (R) has continued to defend his belief that debunked Muslim “no-go zones” actually exist in Europe, but now he’s using his official state website to do it.

Apparently Jindal believes that amassing a trove of links amounts to a preponderance of evidence proving the existence of the so-called “no-go zones” in Europe. The landing page of his website links to a page titled “Setting the Record Straight,” which compiles reports largely cribbed from a think tank linked to anti-Muslim activists.

It’s really great that the people of Louisiana have on their official website a debunked conspiracy theory that even Fox News had to apologize for promoting. What’s next, Bobby? Want to take on the moon landing?

What a poltroon.

Claim Chowder: Santorum-style (ew, gross!)

rick-santorum-busy-fist

Hey guys, remember that time that frothy mix of lube and fecal matter Rick ‘Google Me’ Santorum told us that all of the jobs created since the year 2000 (all 6 million of ‘em) went to legal immigrants and no one else? (for old time’s sake, say it with me: “Me Neither!”) — Guess what? He was fibbing again!

Babs-the-Impaler Raised Polite Boys

jeb-moose-ears

This is almost a parody:

In a speech to the National Association of Auto Dealers, Bush tackled the question of undocumented immigrants already in this country head-on, but politely.

“First and foremost, we need to control our border,” Jeb declared. “A great nation needs to control its border, not just at the border, which is hugely important.”

Then he gets right to that thorny question of those who are in this country already. After informing the audience that 40 percent of undocumented immigrants are those who came into the country legally but whose visas have expired, he delivered the verdict.

“We ought to be able to figure out where they are and politely ask them to leave.”

“Be sure to shut the gate behind you,” NotChimpy didn’t say.

The 3-Martini Stupid: The Shut-up Dad Edition

“A lot of times people think secession, they paint it as an absolute negative,” said Ron Paul, the retired longtime Republican representative from Texas.

(Raw Story via Bipartisan Report)

Pravda on the Prarie (or whatevs) UPDATED

2016 Goats in Coats

Gov. Mike Pence’s state-run news outlet will compete with media

Charisma-free (and thought-free? Yes.) teabagger potential 2016 Goat Rodeo contender Mike Pence hates the lamestream media so much, he is setting up his own state-run news agency allegedly to tell Hoosiers the good news about whatever it is that he is doing:

Gov. Mike Pence is starting a state-run taxpayer-funded news outlet that will make pre-written news stories available to Indiana media, as well as sometimes break news about his administration, according to documents obtained by The Indianapolis Star.

Wouldn’t it just be easier if Pence did something newsworthy? I mean other than cutting budget for vital services and then using budget for vanity projects like his own News division?

UPDATE:

“Reports that this was intended to be a news agency, I think just represent an understandable misunderstanding based on some internal communications that I read about in the press,” Pence said, after his announcement that he had won an alternative expansion of Medicaid from the federal government.

“My understanding is that the website that has become a source of controversy was simply to have a one-stop shopping website for press releases and information,” he said. “It’s meant to be a resource, not a news source and we’ll be clarifying that in the days ahead.”

The Best Gubmint Money Can Buy

piles of cashThe Kochs put a price on 2016: $889 million

The Koch brothers’ operation intends to spend $889 million in the run-up to the 2016 elections — a historic sum that in many ways would mark Charles and David Koch and their fellow conservative megadonors as more powerful than the official Republican Party.

Well, they could cut out the middleman and just buy the place, I suppose. See Walker, Scott.

One Lump of Stupid or Two?

Uncle Sugar Mike Huckabee tells us that if we had Bibles in Public Schools, we wouldn’t have guns in Public Schools, which is a very comforting idea to the non-Xristian and atheist kids who will not feel like targets.

Y’all Qaeda says, It’s A Dominion, Not A Democracy

This is Gene Mills who says that conservative Christians should take control of the seven main areas of culture and society: (1) Business; (2) Government; (3) Media; (4) Arts and Entertainment; (5) Education; (6) Family; and (7) Religion. He’s speaking at Jindal’s Hatenanny in Louisiannie, which was sponsored by infamous hate group Family Research Council. If you don’t think that the theocrats are aiming for complete control of the secular world, you need to listen to this.

Saddle-Up Another Goat!

Chris Christi hug

Renowned bridge enthusiast NJ Gov. Chris Christie has launched a PAC.

NEWARK, N.J. (AP) — New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie has taken his firmest step yet toward running for president, launching an organization that allows him to raise money for a potential 2016 campaign.

…A mission statement on the Christie organization’s website echoes themes that Christie has focused in recent speeches, including remarks on Saturday in Iowa to conservative activists.

“America has been a nation that has always controlled events and yet today events control us. Why? Because leadership matters,” the mission statement reads.

This from the man who was unable to lead his staffers when they ran amok closing down the major bridge between NJ and NY.

New Year’s Resolution FAIL

SarahPalinShooting

OK, one of my resolutions was to keep posts about Mooselini to a minimum, and I already had one yesterday and it looks like this is another:

Sarah Palin ‘rambles incoherently’ in Iowa after teleprompter freezes… a day after she declared an interest in 2016 run

And this, my friends is from the very conservative Fox-like UK Daily Mail. But what I love about this headline more than anything else is that the teleprompters have come back to bite Wingnuttia in the ass.