What if Rick Perry is smarter than we think?

perry deepthroats a dog

What if Rick Perry is smarter or at least more cunning than he is generally given credit for being… in our post about Texas politics, we gave some background information about how the Republicans, state-wide, have been itching for years to shut-down the state’s Public Corruption unit. They’ve campaigned on it, and tried to nibble at the edges. But they’ve never been able to drive a stake through the heart of it.

But what if Rick Perry thought he had a winning hand: he knows that Travis County District Attorney Rosemary Lehmberg would never resign and let him appoint a Republican to finish her term, and her refusal to do so could enable him to defund Public Corruption unit, thus ending its investigation into himself and his cronies? Either way he effectively wins.

Is it the Kobayashi Maru for the Public Corruption Unit?

That the indictments sound silly on the face of it (he has veto power as governor, threatened to use it, and then did, in fact use it seems impossible to criminalize), but what if the motives were shady? Does that make a difference?

Any lawyers out there?

Rand Paul Speaks on Law and Order, sort of

Rand-Paul--Robocop

Famous plagiarist, Ayn Rand Fanboi and shag-carpet topped Sen. Rand Paul’s piece on Ferguson and the militarization of police for Time (yes, it still exists. Who knew?) hits almost all the high notes:

Anyone who thinks that race does not still, even if inadvertently, skew the application of criminal justice in this country is just not paying close enough attention. Our prisons are full of black and brown men and women who are serving inappropriately long and harsh sentences for non-violent mistakes in their youth.

OK, it bugs me because he is saying pretty much what most of us are thinking (and in writing he doesn’t suffer from Brother Pierce’s Five-Minute Rule), and I’m sure he’s gonna dupe some progressives to support him in the 2016 Goat Rodeo. But let’s not forget this: Rand Paul never discusses race: He blames big government for all racial issues. But make no mistake: Rand Paul is an old-school, unreformed southern Republican, without any shame about it.

At the risk of repeating myself, let’s not forget the 15 points we learned about Rand Paul from the Daily Banter:

  1. Rand Paul opposes gun control measures and voted with his party to filibuster the Manchin-Toomey amendment, which would’ve merely expended background checks to include internet sales and gun shows.
  2. Rand Paul, like Ron Paul before him, has repeatedly objected to key provisions of the Civil Rights Act.
  3. Rand Paul is opposed to abortion, even in cases of rape and incest. Just because he’s expressed an openness to a life-of-the-mother exception doesn’t make him a hero.
  4. Rand Paul, as mentioned earlier, believes that redefining traditional marriage is the leading cause of poverty, rather than a long list of other poverty-creating economic factors.
  5. Rand Paul voted against the re-authorization of the Violence Against Women Act.
  6. Rand Paul wants to cut the corporate tax rate in half and attacked Obama’s “you didn’t build that” quote, which was widely taken out of context.
  7. Rand Paul is a fan of paleoconservative conspiracy theorist Alex Jones, and has appeared on Jones’ show numerous times. He’s also endorsed his share of wild conspiracy theories.
  8. Rand Paul proclaimed that the scientific consensus behind climate change isn’t “conclusive.”
  9. Rand Paul has repeatedly voted to de-fund and repeal the Affordable Care Act, and would very likely do so as president. He’s also spread “horror stories” about the law in Kentucky even though his state’s exchange is one of the best in the nation.
  10. Rand Paul famously filibustered the president’s drone policies, but later suggested that the government could use a drone to gun down a criminal who just robbed a liquor store. He suggested we should use drones against the Taliban.
  11. Rand Paul supports the partial privatization of Social Security and once called the program a “Ponzi scheme.” He also referred to Medicare as “socialism.”
  12. Rand Paul supports the flat tax.
  13. Rand Paul marketed in the widely debunked “Obamaphone” myth, stating: “For those who are struggling, we want you to have something infinitely more valuable than a free phone, we want you to have a job and a pathway to success.”
  14. Rand Paul supports Voter ID laws, saying there’s “nothing wrong” with them.
  15. Rand Paul, in addition to a series of racially-questionable associates, is a supporter of both states’ rights and nullification, archaic tent-post beliefs held by neo-Confederates.

Just as I was getting ready to be depressed that Aqua Buddha was the front-runner and the impact of this Time piece, I peeked over at Balloon Juice, who have a different take (a longish excerpt from PowerLine that rips Rand a new hole precedes):

Remember, the PowerTools represent the civilized segment of the base, the portion one imagines has reliable access to pants and even shoes, the sector who are frequently quoted by wingnut columnists and politicians. Imagine how Paul’s pandering will be received by their less evolved brethren.

Ditto foreign policy. Paul’s wingnut opponents in the primary will use fear of the other as a cudgel to beat Baby Doc, just as they walloped his old man like a rented mule on foreign policy in every one of his quixotic quests for the nomination.

I feel better already.

Rand Paul Keeps On Running…

…away from his previous positions.

Rand Paul wants to be left alone

“When you’re in the neonatal nursery and you’ve got a one-pound baby, everybody acknowledges that that baby has rights, the Bill of Rights applies to that baby and nobody can hurt that baby. It’s a one-pound baby. But a week before, even a full-term seven-pound baby has no rights, according to the way people are looking at it, and I think that is a big mistake.”

– Famous plagiarist, Ayn Rand Fanboi, likely 2016 Goat Rodeo Contender and Hair Club for Men most wanted list designate Sen. Aqua Buddha, who recently said that he wouldn’t try to knock down Roe V. Wade, you know, when he was NOT talking to the Xristians. He has introduced Personhood legislation in Congress, which his idol Ayn Rand would hate.

Groundhog Day Starring Rand Paul

Rand Paul groundhog day driving

Famous plagiarist, Ayn Rand Fanboi and Hair Club for Men most wanted list designate Sen. Aqua Buddha had what can only be described as a bad week. It started off bad and it became worse. Let’s marvel at it.

It started with Rand Paul lying about cutting aid to Israel. You see he was for unconditionally cutting it just a few years ago, and now he claims he isn’t and never was. It was such a bold-faced lie that even Manchurian Columnist Ann Coulter had to comment:

Paul’s lie about cutting aid to Israel got the attention of the bright kids at Tiger Beat on the Potomac (Thanks Charlie!), who produced a longish piece on his various flip-flops.

The Daily Banter, which is not one to mince words, produced a long piece that included a 15-point list of reasons not to trust Rand Paul.

And all this happened BEFORE Rand Paul ran away from some DREAMers…

…whom he later disdained/described as doing a Kamikaze interview.

Which then leads us to the fun Brother Pierce has had with his blog’s 5-minute rule:

America’s brogressive love-puppet speaks the weaselspeak like a native, doesn’t he? He doesn’t want any contact with the berating scofflaws, but he wants them to have work permits, but not in-state tuition. In four or five days, he will likely reverse all three of these reversals of positions. He will feel very strongly all three ways and, also, free pot! All in all, I am disinclined to agree with my friend Bob Draper that we are living through the libertarian moment, at least as represented by Senator Aqua Buddha. This is because “the libertarian moment” is a scam.

And then there is Driftglass, who is creating a meme all on his own.

But here’s the point to this round-up of bad news for Sen. Aqua Buddha: he remains the (current) front-runner for the 2016 Goat Rodeo, and he appears to have taken some positions that are appealing to the Dims. But does he really believe any of them and will he believe any of these things 5 minutes from now? He is a man without principles who will say whatever he needs to say for a news cycle.

And even if, like me, you are firmly opposed to the NSA wiretapping us and all the other ill they do and so Rand appears favorably to you, you have to look at all the other reactionary stuff that goes along with it. And even then, recall that Rand Paul thinks using drones on bank robbers is a fine use of that technology. The man is a fraud even on his signature issue.

The Daily Banter link above is a good place to start if you want to see the many faces of Rand Paul.

Sounds Like a Plan

Mooselini salutes her fans.

Mooselini salutes her fans.

“We don’t want the GOP to pursue a ‘socialism-lite’ agenda. We want them to go on the warpath and do whatever it takes to stop the destruction of our constitutional Republic. It has become increasingly clear that the GOP leadership will do everything in its power to prevent the party from being influenced in any way by the Tea Party. I have given up on the GOP and am simply not sure it can ever be reformed.”

“We would also need a stable of respected national conservative leaders such as Sarah Palin and others to lead the charge on such an effort…

Steve Baldwin, a conservative activist and former California State assemblyman, writing in BarbWire.

Yes, Steve. Please do this. Please.

Oh, please, Please, PLEASE!

Dogs know Willard

The Draft Mitt website (!) brags that it is in no way paid for by Willard, and Spencer Zwick (the so-called sixth son) says that the Willard Mechanism is absolutely not running:

“This organization has absolutely no bearing on Mitt Romney running for president. He says he’s not running for president and nothing this organization can do will change that … The organization has no merit. None,” Zwick told the Deseret News.

When the best that Wingnuttia can do is to put the retreads on the jalopy rather than support one of the other mouth-breathing paste eaters (and they seem to be admitting it), well, the snark just writes itself.

But I dream that Wingnuttia continues to push Willard, exploding sprockets and all, as they take to Cleveland to select the next Wingnut to be soundly rejected by the 47% and binders full of women.

One Flew Over The Bachmann’s Nest

Oh, please, Please, PLEASE!

Bachmann-the-nut-in-the-hospital

“The only thing that the media has speculated on is that it’s going to be various men that are running,” she replied. “They haven’t speculated, for instance, that I’m going to run. What if I decide to run? And there’s a chance I could run.”

Our old pal One-L teasing us that The 2016 Goat Rodeo might give us a repeat performance:

Rick Perry Declares War

perry deepthroats a dog

Texas Gov. Rick Perry (R) reportedly plans to dispatch the Texas National Guard to the U.S. border with Mexico, according to news reports.

Perry will announce his plans Monday to mobilize some 1,000 guardsmen to the Rio Grande Valley to increase security at the border, according to the Monitor, a south Texas newspaper. The newspaper quoted a state senator and an internal memo it obtained from a state official’s office.

…or maybe he’s just announcing his run for preznint?