One Lump of Stupid or Two, Mr. Huckabee

Get off the cross, we need the wood

Gomer and the Gomerette

Gomer and the Gomerette

“Christian convictions are under attack as never before,” Huckabee said in the call, which was meant to rally pastors to participate in the FRC’s upcoming “Stand for Marriage” event. “Not just in our lifetime, but ever before in the history of this great nation. We are moving rapidly towards the criminalization of Christianity.

Because we know that Y’all Qaeda and the Xristians are the most abused and powerless people in America.

(Right Wing Watch)

News That Will Drive You To Drink

Full-speed head, Republicans!

Full-speed head, Republicans!

Today’s news is just full of Jindal. We already mentioned that to further his chances with 2016 Goat Rodeo by kissing up to Y’all Qaeda’s choir, the boy exorcist has taken the unprecedented step of stating in the NYTimes that he will not cave when he signs the LA version of the We Don’t Serve Your Kind law:

As the fight for religious liberty moves to Louisiana, I have a clear message for any corporation that contemplates bullying our state: Save your breath.

But what we failed to notice at the time is that Jindal’s faith-based budgeting has endangered higher education in the state:

“LSU and many other public colleges in Louisiana might be forced to file for financial exigency, essentially academic bankruptcy, if state higher education funding doesn’t soon take a turn for the better.”

“Louisiana’s flagship university began putting together the paperwork for declaring financial exigency this week when the Legislature appeared to make little progress on finding a state budget solution, according to F. King Alexander, president and chancellor of LSU.”

“We don’t say that to scare people,” he said. “Basically, it is how we are going to survive.”

“Moody’s Investors Service also announced this month that it was lowering LSU’s credit outlook from positive to stable based on concerns about the university’s overall financial support. The lowering of LSU’s credit rating makes it more likely the university will have to pay more for its building projects in the future.”

“Being in a state of financial exigency means a university’s funding situation is so difficult that the viability of the entire institution is threatened. The status makes it easier for public colleges to shut down programs and lay off tenured faculty, but it also tarnishes the school’s reputation, making it harder to recruit faculty and students.”

And I note that one of the reasons that Silicon Valley came to exist in the SF Bay Area is because of the proximity to great schools and huge pool of engineering talent that made for a virtuous cycle.

Jindal’s budget disaster is very likely to have the exact opposite effect: the inability to lure business (a non-educated workforce in the information age is a non-starter). Riddle me this Batman: What business that depends on having a nearby talent pool is going to want to stick around when within the next 5 years they will have to recruit out of state workers to move to a backwater of uneducated hicks and religious bigots?

(Side note: Years ago, a friend and co-worker was lured from the Bay Area to the deep South for a buttload of cash, lower cost of living, a huge house with a lot of acreage. She thought she had struck it rich and moved out of Palo Alto. Within 2 years I saw her again at a professional society meeting; she moved back, and said she just couldn’t do it, it wasn’t worth it to live there.)

It also seems likely that the talent that is there—at least in the academic circles—is going to leave, thus creating a further vacuum. Who would apply to go to school there, too, not knowing if the school was still going to be around? Who would want to work in the LSU System for the same reasons?

And who would vote for a presidential candidate who torpedoed his own state? Your move, Bobby, but I won’t hold my breath.

For shits and giggles, here’s Jindal’s Op-Ed, well, edited.

The Circular Firing Squad Of The Left

Drink the Kool-Aid

Drink the Kool-Aid

Just a comment to throw out into the void:

So far, Hillary Clinton is the only announced candidate we have on the (alleged) Left. Just a small plea from a small blogger at a small blog: knock it off with the Hillary Hate.

Wingnuttia and their enablers in the Fox News Industrial Complex are already in good form just piling on HRC. Let’s not help them, and especially because we do not (yet?) have an alternative to be positive about.

(And everyone here probably already knows how I am opposed to political dynasties on principle [See what I did there?], so if I can sit back for now, you can too.)

Two Words:

carly-surreal_1Demon Sheep

Rejoice, fellow spitballers, The 2016 Goat Rodeo is about to get interesting.

Carly Fiorina (R) “plans to launch her presidential campaign on May 4, in an online announcement that dispenses with the pageantry that has become de rigueur in 2016 White House runs,” the Wall Street Journal reports.

“The lack of fanfare stands in contrast to GOP candidates who already have declared. Sens. Ted Cruz of Texas, Rand Paul of Kentucky and Marco Rubio of Florida held choreographed events to officially launch their 2016 efforts. Mrs. Fiorina won’t hold a public event the day she begins her campaign. It will also put Mrs. Fiorina at odds with two other GOP candidates announcing their 2016 plans that week.”

“I will do for America,” Fiorina didn’t say, “what I did to HP!”


‘We Don’t Serve Your Kind’ Laws: An Update

Boy exorcist and noted volcano scholar Bobby Jindal

Boy exorcist and noted volcano scholar Bobby Jindal

Potential 2016 Goat Rodeo contender from The Stupid Party, boy exorcist and noted volcano scholar Bobby Jindal will not be made a fool of by Corporations, Pinko Commies, and the ‘mos! He intends to sign the LA version of the notorious We Don’t Serve Your Kind law, full speed ahead!

In Indiana and Arkansas, large corporations recently joined left-wing activists to bully elected officials into backing away from strong protections for religious liberty,” Jindal continued. “It was disappointing to see conservative leaders so hastily retreat on legislation that would simply allow for an individual or business to claim a right to free exercise of religion in a court of law.”

Jindal counted on his fingers the number of big employers on his state and continued on.

Jindal went on to say that Hutchison and Pence “quickly cowered amid the shrieks of big business and the radical left should alarm us all.” Jindal went on to say that the business community needs to side with him and other supporters of similar legislation rather than stay on the side of liberal activists.

“If we, as conservatives, are to succeed in advancing the cause of freedom and free enterprise, the business community must stand shoulder to shoulder with those fighting for religious liberty,” Jindal said.

Thus proving Sinclair Lewis was onto something when he said that (paraphrasing) when fascism comes to America it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying a cross. And oddly, it will sound like Kenny-the-Page.

“The left-wing ideologues who oppose religious freedom are the same ones who seek to tax and regulate businesses out of existence. The same people who think that profit making is vulgar believe that religiosity is folly. The fight against this misguided, government-dictating ideology is one fight, not two. Conservative leaders cannot sit idly by and allow large corporations to rip our coalition in half.”

The one thing Louisiana has going for it is Tourism, mostly in gay-friendly New Orleans, and if the convention bidness were to dry up, literally overnight as it did in Indiana, I think Jindal might notice it. Mardi Gras would be quite different if the revels were only attended by a handful of Bible thumpers. But such are the wages of sin, and Jindal is determined to be the candidate of Y’all Qaeda.

One suspects that the leaders of the Chamber of Commerce are checking out the prices of ball peen hammers and working on their best Tanya Harding skills.


News That Will Drive You To Drink

The Koan of Aqua Buddha

Rand Paul groundhog day drivingHey guys, remember that time when Sen. Aqua Buddha mansplained journalism to Savannah Guthrie when she was trying to ask him about his flip-flopping on positions?

It seems sushing her and talking down to her wasn’t sexism on his part, actually it is sexism on your part for thinking he was sexist!

“The funny thing about it is that it’s kind of a sexist position to think that somehow women announcers are less capable to handle themselves than men. I don’t think that, but everybody that was complaining about it, thinking it had something to do with gender, basically that’s insulting to the people doing the questioning.”

Schrödinger’s Candidate Rand Paul can be on both sides of any issue, even his mansplaining. I think he would get a 10, even from the Russian Judge, for that verbal gymnastic feat of wonder.

Some Fries With Your Stupid, Sen. Aqua Buddha?

It’s time to open Schrödinger’s box with Schrödinger’s Candidate Rand Paul! Today we get to see his unique perspective on the most sacred of all Libertarian beliefs: property rights.
It doesn’t seem as if Republicans respect personal property of their benefactors, the American Corporation. Whether it is using unlicensed songs for their campaign themes (“Hey, Noot! How’s that Eye of the Tiger thing working for ya,” we asked in 2012), or today’s object-lesson, stealing the copyright, rebranding it as your own, and then reselling it at a higher price point.

“We learned that the Rand Paul campaign had been selling Ray-Ban sunglasses imprinted with the “Rand” logo without our consent,” Jane Lehman, who handles corporate media at Luxottica, Ray-Ban’s public relations firm, wrote in an email to The Hill.

So let me get this right: a sitting US Senator took someone else’s product, stamped his own logo on it, and then sold it on his website?

“One picture on Paul’s website showed President John F. Kennedy wearing the iconic glasses atop his head next to a picture of Paul with a similar pair of glasses.”

“I can hear Senator Bentsen now, ‘I knew Jack Kennedy and you’re no Jack Kennedy,’ ” a caption on the site said. “Well, you and I may not be Jack Kennedy, but Rand likes Raybans and now we can all own Rand branded Raybans.”

“$150 is more than you might normally pay for sunglasses, but these are Raybans and even more, they are indelibly marked with the Rand Brand … and as always, it’s a contribution to the Rand Paul for President campaign,” the site said.”

If you or I did that I think we’d be in the sneezer for piracy. But still seems strange for an Ayn Rand Fanboi to be mooching off of someone else’s work.

Who Invited Rick Perry To Their Gay Wedding?

I detect a pattern

Oh yeah. Rick would go to a gay wedding.

Yeah, well, I probably would [attend a same-sex wedding]. But I think the real issue here, you know, is that’s the ‘gotcha’ question that the Left tries to get out there…We need to be standing up and saying, hey, listen that’s an interesting question, here’s my answer but get this thing back to talking about how do we get Americans back working again…

The Left in this instance is Hugh Hewitt!

Happy Earth Day, Marco Rubio

For our Earth Day commie pleasure, let’s revisit what Marco ‘Big Gulp’ Rubio, Cold Warrior for a Hot Millennium, said about climate change:

OK, so got that? Human activity isn’t part of climate change.

Then there’s this:

“What I disagree with is the notion if we pass cap and trade, for example, this will stop this from happening, when in fact half of the new emissions on the planet are coming from developing countries and half of that is coming from one country, China, that isn’t going to follow whatever laws we pass.”

And how you hold those two positions in your noggin at the same time remains a mystery.

But we also note that with it’s unique geography, Florida (motto: Where the Debris Meets the Sea) is likely to be one of the first states to go underwater as the tides rise, so Rubio’s got that working for him, too.

On the bright side (for Rubio, anyway) is that his sworn, arch enemy Fidel Castro will be swimming to whatever is left of Florida. Remember, if he gets one toe on the beach, he’s a legal immigrant from Cuba.

Breaking: May is the Grimmest Month

The slow-drip of the 2016 Goat Rodeo!

The slow-drip of the 2016 Goat Rodeo!


  • – BEN CARSON will announce May 4 in Detroit.
  • – CARLY FIORINA is also said to be eyeing May 4. It’s unclear where that announcement would take place, but if she runs, her campaign headquarters are expected to be in the D.C. area.
  • – MIKE HUCKABEE will announce his decision on May 5 in his hometown of Hope, Ark.
  • – LINDSEY GRAHAM is also expected to announce a decision by mid-May.
  • – MARTIN O’MALLEY says he will decide on a run by the end of May.

And then they threaten us:

DOWN THE ROAD: Wisconsin Gov. SCOTT WALKER and Louisiana Gov. BOBBY JINDAL have both said they will announce decisions after their respective state legislatures wrap up. For Jindal, that means June; for Walker, nothing is so far scheduled for the state legislature between the end of June and beginning of August. Because of JEB BUSH’s ability to fundraise massive sums, he isn’t as tied to quarterly filing deadlines as other presidential candidates are, so he has more flexibility to wait.

(Tiger Beat on the Potomac [Thanks Charlie!] nightly email thingie)