Saddle-up Another Goat!

We will give former Maryland Governor Martin O’Malley mad props for that tease into the 2016 Goat Rodeo where he is challenging both Rodham-Clinton and Bernie Sanders for the Dim nomination.

Tiger Beat on the Potomac Wins The Morning!

The Death of the Media

The Media analyzes Hillary's Hair.

The Media analyzes Hillary’s Hair.

…with a post about Rodham-Clinton’s hair. No, seriously:

Hillary’s hair: She’s in on the joke
With a single comment on her hair color, she deftly addressed one of the most delicate questions confronting her campaign.

ohhh, sexism!

…On Wednesday, Clinton again turned to her famous and ever-changing hair — she wears it these days in a shorter bob — to deftly address one of the most delicate questions confronting her campaign: her age. If elected, Clinton will be 69 when she assumes office, which would make her the second oldest president after Ronald Reagan.

Sexism and ageism!

“All of our presidents come into office looking so vigorous,” Clinton said at a campaign stop in South Carolina. “Then we watch them. They grow grayer and grayer and by the time they leave? They’re as white as the building they live in.”

“Now I may not be the youngest candidate in the race,” Clinton continued, building slowly to her punch line and employing a Southern drawl. “But I have one big advantage: I’ve been coloring my hair for years.” 

Just as a side not to TBOTP (thanks Charlie!): do an exposé on Rand Paul’s hair and how it won’t age, either. Bet Michael ‘Payola’ Allen can get some kickbacks from the petroleum cartels if you do.

News That Will Drive You To Drink

It’s probably a bad sign when failed 2012 Goat Rodeo novelty candidate Herman ‘Black Walnut’ Cain is trolling Frothy’s entry into the 2016 Goat Rodeo… and it is picked up by free-range conspiracy theorist Glen Beck’s The Blaze.

It’s the trifecta of Stupid.

Let’s Open The Box With Schrödinger’s Candidate Rand Paul

Rand-in-box-1

Let’s see what SEN. RAND PAUL, the Schrödinger’s Candidate, the man on all sides of all issues, is saying about abortion rights today! Let’s spin the box and see, shall we:

“In Philadelphia on Monday, during a Q&A at the National Constitution Center, Paul was asked by a local radio host, according to The Daily Caller’s Alex Pappas, if he would make abortion a central issue of his presidential campaign.

““You know…I will answer the question as honestly as I can,” Paul replied. “I didn’t run for office because of this issue. It wasn’t what got me to leave my [ophthalmology] practice.”

“Later, Paul was asked “whether he believes the issue of abortion is more best handled by the states, or by the federal government under the 14th Amendment,” according to The Daily Caller.

““I think best by the states,” Paul said.”

Well, that’s odd, because Rand Paul introduced legislation entitled the “Life at Conception Act.” Rand Paul’s legislation would define a person as a fertilized egg and “would implement equal protection under the 14th Amendment for the right to life of each born and unborn human.”

Hope you had as much fun as the rest of us guessing where SEN. RAND PAUL, the Schrödinger’s Candidate, the man on all sides of all issues, is standing today!

Your 3-Martini Stupid Is Served, Gov. Walker

"Where are the rabbits, George?"

“Where are the rabbits, George?”

Scott Walker, the wall-eyed git hired by the Koch Brothers to enrich their fortune in the midwest, must be so proud:

“Anyone with a bachelor’s degree could be hired and licensed to teach sixth- through 12th-grade English, math, social studies or science in Wisconsin under a provision slipped into the state budget proposal by a Republican lawmaker.

“And any person with relevant experience — even a high school dropout — could be licensed to teach in any other non-core academic subject in those grades, according to the provision.

“Critics argue the changes, if approved, would dramatically lower Wisconsin’s teaching standards.”

Why, even Walker could get a job teaching in WI with standards so low. Well, maybe.

Clinton Is In The Lead!

They cannot catch-up

They cannot catch-up!

More from that poll this morning:

In a general election matchup, Clinton gets 46 percent of American voters to 42 percent for Paul and 45 percent of voters to 41 percent for Rubio. She leads other top Republicans:
46 – 37 percent over Christie;
47 – 40 percent over Huckabee;
47 – 37 percent over Bush;
46 – 38 percent over Walker;
48 – 37 percent over Cruz;
50 – 32 percent over Trump.

And bear in mind this follows weeks of the Elite National Media reviving every last bit of HRC innuendo and gossip they can promote into a news-worthy scandal. I’m still waiting for someone at CNN to exhume Vince Foster.

American voters say 53 – 39 percent that Clinton is not honest and trustworthy, but say 60 – 37 percent that she has strong leadership qualities. Voters are divided 48 – 47 percent over whether Clinton cares about their needs and problems.

Americans have a very low bar when it comes to politicians being honest, d’uh. We’ve been well-trained.

Fiorina Fever (Oh What A Feeling)

The field is crowded

The field is crowded

I’m laughing as hard as I can: the latest survey from Quinnipiac University National Poll finds no one is in the lead for the 2016 Goat Rodeo, BUT… A FIVE-WAY TIE!

“Leading the pack with 10 percent each are former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush, Ben Carson, former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee, U.S. Sen. Marco Rubio of Florida and Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker, the independent Quinnipiac (KWIN-uh-pe-ack) University Poll finds.

OK so that is funny enough, let’s get into the weeds of who the second tier candidates are:

Fire 'Em All Fiorina

Fire ‘Em All Fiorina

“Rounding out the top 10 for televised debates are U.S. Sen. Rand Paul of Kentucky at 7 percent, U.S. Sen. Ted Cruz of Texas at 6 percent, Donald Trump at 5 percent, New Jersey Gov. Christopher Christie at 4 percent and Carly Fiorina and Ohio Gov. John Kasich at 2 percent each.

I told you that they would find a way to have Carly ‘Fire ‘Em All’ Fiorina (the Hillary Slayer) somehow end up in the debates.

The Fox Effect Continues!

The Morning Quote (The Fox Effect, Continues)

John Kasich separated at birth

“I don’t know anything about [Bush’s theme]. I really don’t. I’ve never listened to him. What’s “Right to Rise”? Getting up in the morning?”

–Would-be 2016 Goat Rodeo Contender John Kasich, trying to create buzz for himself by slapping-down another candidate and going against Saint Ronnie’s Eleventh Commandment (which is the Fox Effect).