And Meanwhile, In Wisconsin…

The Crying Game

The Crying Game

“Scott Walker just can’t say no. And he might talk his way out of the presidency.

“There’s a funny thing about the former Republican presidential frontrunner: The governor has a curious verbal tic—well known among some Walker watchers but largely ignored by everyone else—where, well, he says yes to everything.

“Ask him a question at a press conference or in a gaggle, and he’ll bob his head up and down while saying something like “Yeah” or “Yeah, absolutely.” He says that the way other people might say “Um,” or “Listen,” or “Hmm.” It’s a filler word.”

There’s a word for a person who can’t say ‘no’.

Well, as we said back home, “$20 same as in town.” Seems to fit.

One Lump of Stupid or Two, John Kasich

As Smart As He Looks

John Kasich separated at birth//embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.js

So what is it with Republicans running with convicts? Maybe they only hang out with their own kind, you know, crooks?

$60 million state contract awarded to ethics violator’s company draws scrutiny

A Columbus contractor’s company has won a state contract for the first time since he was jailed 18 years ago for his role in a gubernatorial ethics scandal, state records show.

The two-year, estimated $60 million contract has drawn a protest from a competing bidder, who accused Gov. John Kasich’s administration of violating state law by giving preferential treatment to the winning contractor.

The company, which hired one of Kasich’s closest political advisers to help it win the contract, says the protest is just “sour grapes” from a rival firm.

So, in the year of our Lawd in which crony capitalism is the campaign issue, Kasich gives a fat contract to a connection. The whole story is pretty damning.

News That Will Drive You To Drink

Mike (Gomer) and Jetherine (the Gomerette) Huckabee

Mike (Gomer) and Jetherine (the Gomerette) Huckabee

“I spoke with Kim Davis this morning to offer my prayers and support,” Huckabee said. “I let her know how proud I am of her for not abandoning her religious convictions and standing strong for religious liberty. She is showing more courage and humility than just about any federal office holder in Washington.

“Kim is asking the perfect question: ‘Under what law am I authorized to issue homosexual couples a marriage license?’ That simple question is giving many in Congress a civics lesson that they never got in grade school,” Huckabee added. “The Supreme Court cannot and did not make a law. They only made a ruling on a law. Congress makes the laws. Because Congress has made no law allowing for same sex marriage, Kim does not have the constitutional authority to issue a marriage license to homosexual couples.

“Kim is a person of great conviction,” Huckabee continued. “When people of conviction fight for what’s right they often pay a price, but if they don’t and we surrender, we will pay a far greater price for bowing to the false God of judicial supremacy. Government is not God. No man – and certainly no unelected lawyer – has the right to redefine the laws of nature or of nature’s God. Five unelected lawyers have abused their power by ruling in favor of a national right to same-sex marriage with no legal precedent and with nothing in our Constitution to back it up. They have violated American’s most fundamental right guaranteed by our Constitution – religious liberty.

“I stand with Kim Davis and every American of faith under attack by Washington elites who have nothing but disdain for us, our faith and the Constitution,” Huckabee concluded.

(Sunshine State News)

The 3-Martini Stupid is Served, Gov. Jindal

Ah'm as popular as a fart in church back home!

Ah’m as popular as a fart in church back home!

And once again we turn our attention to the deportable anchor baby (the policies that he has called for would deport himself even at his advanced age back to India), noted boy exorcist-volcano scholar, the leader of the Stupid Party Bobby Jindal who is taking his culture warrior street cred national in 2016 Goat Rodeo.

You see, Bobby, not to be outdone by anyone else got ahead of the laughably doctored Planned Parenthood video meme and by executive fiat defunded the organization in his state, even though the clinics there did not perform abortion services. Planned Parenthood sort of served as the free clinic to at risk, low income populations (ie, “THEM”) who probably were not going to vote for Jindal anyway. And today we have an update, you know, how well that decision is playing out:

“We have a syphilis epidemic right now in New Orleans,” said Dr. Taylor, the medical director overseeing programs to combat sexually transmitted infections for the State Office of Public Health. She is also the director of Louisiana State University’s sexually transmitted infections program, which operates in the wellness center here. Louisiana ranks first among the states in cases of gonorrhea, second in chlamydia, and third in syphilis and H.I.V., according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

Because We Love A Good Correction

"Where are the rabbits, George?"

“Where are the rabbits, George?”

As you may recall, on the Sunday Talkies Scott Walker the wall eyed git hired by Koch Industries to further enrich their holdings in the mid west replied to the question of building a wall on the border with Canada:

“They raised some very legitimate concerns, including some law enforcement folks that brought that up to me at one of our town hall meetings about a week and a half ago. So that is a legitimate issue for us to look at.”

And now here’s what he really meant:

“I’ve never talked about a wall at the north, I’m certainly not now. That’s just what happens when things get run amok.”

Sweet Mother of Blog, the man doesn’t even lie well.

Some Claim Chowder for Breakfast

Lucent? Never heard of it!

Lucent? Never heard of it!

Carly ‘Fire ‘Em All’ Fiorina is in the next debate on CNN in two weeks from today.

We’re giving ourselves only a half-pat on the back as we predicted this would happen, but we predicted that Fox would be the one to keep hope alive for Fiorina. iCarly, as we all know, is the secret weapon to allow The Confederacy to attack Rodham-Clinton without appearing sexist.

One Lump of Stupid or Two, Rand?

Rand-in-box-1

Let’s open Schrödinger’s Box with Rand Paul, the candidate on all sides of all issues all the time, to see where he stands today (emphasis mine):

“You know I think one way to get around the whole idea of what the Supreme Court is forcing on the states is for states to just get out of the business of giving out licenses. Alabama has already voted to do this…anybody can make a contract and then if you want a marriage contract you go to a church.

And so, I’ve often said we could have got around all of this, also, in the sense that I do believe everybody has the right to a contract. There never should have been any limitations on people of the same sex having contracts.

But I do object to the state putting its imprimatur to the specialness of marriage, on something that’s different than most people defined as marriage for most of history. So one way is just getting the state out completely. I think that’s what we’re heading towards, actually.

Whether or not people who still work for the state can do it without the legislature changing it, is something I’m going to leave up to the courts exactly how to do it. But I think people who do stand up and are making a stand to say they do believe in something is part of the American way.”

So, if you object to the Supreme Court’s ruling, you can leave it up to the courts to decide how to change it? or is it that marriage should be a secular contract approved by a church?

Who knows! Because in the world of Schrödinger’s Candidate Rand Paul, anything can happen when you open the box!

Your 3-Martini Stupid is Served, Huckabee

So Planned Parenthood is essentially ISIS? Got it, Uncle Sugar.

The War on Women, Cont.

¡JEB! The Smartest Bush® would force women to have their rapists’s baby, just has he forced Terri Schiavo to live on as a vegetable.

The War on Women is real, but we need to remember that it is only one front in the theocrats larger War on Democracy.

¡JEB! is really a craven theocrat.

All The King’s Horses

We don’t need no legal immigration
We don’t need no constitution
No dark skins in the classroom
Media leave that man alone
Hey! Media! Leave that man alone!
All in all he’s just another dick on the wall.
All in all you’re just another dick on the wall. . .
sw wall3

Oh , give me land, lots of land under starry skies above
Just fence us in
Let me ride through the wild open country that I love
Just fence us in

sw wall1

. . . Up to the walls of Canada
He marched with spear in hand
Go blow them ram horns, old Scotty cried
‘Cause the battle is in my hands . . .

Scotty fit the battle of Oshkosh ho!
Kenosha ho! Eau Claire ho!
Scotty fit the battle of Oshkosh ho!
And the walls go a tumbling up . . .

sw wall 4`

The original title was Scrambled Eggs. McCartney’s original lyrics:
Scrambled Eggs
Oh you’ve got such lovely legs
Scrambled Eggs
Oh, my baby how I love your hairy legs

sw wall2

Better hope you fell on the Canadian side – health insurance exists