Rick Perry Declares War

perry deepthroats a dog

Texas Gov. Rick Perry (R) reportedly plans to dispatch the Texas National Guard to the U.S. border with Mexico, according to news reports.

Perry will announce his plans Monday to mobilize some 1,000 guardsmen to the Rio Grande Valley to increase security at the border, according to the Monitor, a south Texas newspaper. The newspaper quoted a state senator and an internal memo it obtained from a state official’s office.

…or maybe he’s just announcing his run for preznint?

2016 Goat Rodeo Update

[Rand] Paul said if the GOP wants to win the presidency, “we are going to be a bigger, better, bolder party.” Some think the party should be “Democrat light” and become moderate to get more electoral votes, he said.

“I couldn’t disagree more,” he said.

–Senator Aqua Buddha speaking in Iowa, urging everyone to cut hard right.

Santorum Is On Everyone’s Lips

rick-santorum-busy-fist

So what is ol’ man-on-dawg Frothy going to do, now that he is a blue-collar populist avoiding social issues? NOM’s Brian Brown has the exciting news!

I’m thrilled to announce that my good friend and stalwart marriage, family, and life champion, presidential candidate and former Pennsylvania Senator Rick Santorum will be speaking at this year’s March for Marriage on June 19th.

From his days in the Senate, through his Presidential campaigns, Senator Santorum has never hesitated to stand for marriage and make the argument that the social values of our nation are of primary importance to the well-being of our families and children.

As always, it sounds like as much fun as a sneeze during a piss:

Senator Santorum is a huge addition to our already incredible speaker list that includes Governor Mike Huckabee, Archbishop Salvatore Cordielone, New York State Senator Rev. Rubin Diaz, and the Heritage Foundation’s Jennifer Marshall and Ryan T. Anderson, among many others.

The 2016 Goat Rodeo is looking better and better!

I can hardly wait for Charlie Pierce… UPDATED

…to write about chugging Prestone after reading this article in Politico:

Clinton 2008

Hillary Clinton’s world was so worried about a Republican investigation of the Benghazi attacks, they sent a message to House Democrats: We need backup.

House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) publicly considered boycotting the panel, an idea that Clinton supporters feared would leave the potential 2016 candidate exposed to the enemy fire of House Republicans.

So Clinton emissaries launched a back channel campaign, contacting several House Democratic lawmakers and aides to say they’d prefer Democrats participate, according to sources familiar with the conversations. Pelosi’s staff said they have not heard from Clinton’s camp.

…“Republicans are making it clear they plan to use the power of the Benghazi Select Committee to continue to politicize the tragedy that occurred in Benghazi, which is exactly why Democratic participation in the committee is vital,” a Democrat close to Clinton world said. “Inevitably, witnesses ranging from Secretary Clinton to Secretary [John] Kerry will be subpoenaed to testify, and the Democrats appointed to the committee will help restore a level of sanity to the hearings, which would otherwise exist solely as a political witch hunt.”

And so it starts, Clinton Fatigue: Next Generation.

Clinton World should have been the tell that Tiger Beat on the Potomac has no real sources, this is just speculation, but whatever. The 2016 Goat Rodeo has not even started yet and they are already with the Clinton conspiracies.

UPDATE: I told you so. And Brother Pierce concurs with our analysis of this being Some say, Some Said journalism.

The Morning Quote

Rubio and Charlie McCarthy

Rake-stepping operations have commenced. I repeat, rake-stepping operations have commenced:

Let me give you a bit of settled science that they’ll never admit to,” Rubio told Hannity. “Science is settled, it’s not even a consensus, it is a unanimity, that human life beings at conception.

TWAP!

Um, Marco, those Personhood amendments are not introduced by scientists.

On a related note, how’s that rebranding thing working for ya, Reince?

Big Gulp Clarifies His Weather Change Statement And Steps On A Rake

Rubio and Charlie McCarthy

Potential 2016 Goat Rodeo contender and noted Cuban-in-Exile genesis fabulist Marco Rubio stepped on another rake while trying to explain that he previously had not stepped on a rake:

“What I disagree with is the notion if we pass cap and trade, for example, this will stop [climate change] from happening, when in fact half of the new emissions on the planet are coming from developing countries and half of that is coming from one country, China, that isn’t going to follow whatever laws we pass,” he said.

Except that the rake he previously stepped on was that he did not believe that climate change was man-made:

“I do not believe that human activity is causing these dramatic changes to our climate the way these scientists are portraying it. That’s what I do not — and I do not believe that the laws that they propose we pass will do anything about it. Except it will destroy our economy,” Rubio responded.

So the real question remains: who keeps leaving these rakes all about Rubio’s place?