Endorsements!

Speaking to reporters on Tuesday, Mr. Boehner said it was clear that the former Massachusetts governor was going to be the party’s standard bearer and that he would “be proud to support Mitt Romney and do everything I can to help him win.”

“At least,” Weepy did not sob, “at least he was not eaten by penguins. Anyone got a light?” The Speaker then polished off another Jim Beam and passed out. “Goddamn Cantor,” he didn’t slur.

(WSJ)

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