Grassley Speaks!

Ancient wingnut Senator Chuck “I am not a NAIL” Grassley took time off this Easter Sunday from riding his lawn mower at his hobby farm to deliver this important message via the Twitters:

Thus endith our sermon from the mounted.

18 thoughts on “Grassley Speaks!

  1. Well, I know a lot of you folks will be pissed off at me about this, on account of my not being a Good Liberal and all, but I’m also really bugged about Obummer mouthing off at the Supremes like that — if for no other reason than revealing how frightened and desperate you are is really bad strategy in an “election” year.

    When I first heard the news about Obummer popping off about the Supreme Court as it considered Obummercare, it reminded me of how Nixon mouthed off in the press during the Charles Manson trial. For those of you too young to remember — which, I suspect, takes in about 95% of you — Nixon said flat-out that he thought Manson was guilty, which set off a huge shitstorm over whether or not Nixon was being irresponsible by blurting that shit out while the trial was going on.

    That’s why I’m so bugged about Obummer shit-talking about the Supremes now. This is another instance of the right wingnuts actually being right in a busted-clock-twice-a-day sense — I mean, the guy really is a muthafuckin’ bully, especially when you consider his dick-wiggling at Iran, and his DOJ campaign against medical marijuana growers and dispensaries in states where The People Have Spoken™ by voting to legalize it.


  2. Oh, and btw, what’s wrong with riding lawn mowers? When I was about 12 or 13, just getting old enough to be given the chore of mowing the lawn every Saturday, I pestered the hell out of my Dad to get us a riding mower, but our yard was never big enough for one. Even the house my parents bought after Dad retired from the Army — a classic Little Box On The Hillside with the biggest yard of any house our family ever lived in — didn’t have a yard quite big enough to justify a riding lawn mower. Shame, too; that would’ve been cool as shit.


  3. Really? Grassley is an asshat, but if I had 1 more gas mower, you bet I’d be towing them both with my lawn tractor. This country was built on stupid ideas.

    By the way I was Happy Acres (my ‘hood) Lawn Tractor Races champion 5 years running.


  4. Umm, the insurance mandate was a Republican policy first advanced by Phyllis Shoofly’s outfit and championed by pols like Grassley until Obummer co-opted it. It’s corporate manna from heaven and the Supremes will not strike it down. Obama knew that before it ever became part of the deal. Grassley needs to do us all a favor and fall under his tractor.


  5. Why yes, Mike, the President is a shit. Thank you for keeping me abreast of this breaking news. Never in the history of Amerikkka the beautiful, the exceptional, the righteous, has there been a President so fucking awful as this Obammer feller. You are so smart. Even the worst of times in this country’s history pales (my bad) in the face of the gawdawfulness of this (so-called) President. No more years.


  6. P.S. I realise that you all expected that since you gave the niCLANG a chance that he would be a VAST improvement over the 43 previous Presidents, because they were such shining examples in themselves. One after the other they steadily improved over the one before. No missteps. No compromises. Only good, better, bestest. No wonder this guy has proved such an indefensible, inexcusable disappointment, what with you all having come to expect endless improvement from president to president. Truly my heart bleeds for you. No more years.


  7. That’s a nice pile of horse manure, sjelly.

    Obama promised change, all he’s delivered is the same screwing over that that we’ve been getting since Reagan.

    And when it comes to civil liberties, he’s taken the Bush-Cheney excesses and kicked them up a notch.

    Go back to Opologistville.


    • Folks-

      Look, please be civil to our fellow Scissorheads. The left doesn’t need the circular firing squad, we need coalitions.

      I’m not a big fan of purity tests; I wouldn’t pass one, and neither would any of you. I think we can agree on at least 80% (well, Mikey couldn’t, he hates everything) of our issues and that’s progress, that is not apologizing.

      Yeah, I’m saddened most of the time by what could have been, and of course we are wasting our time and energy (as a part of their strategy, I’m sure) having to defend settled things like Choice, Darwinism, the First Amendment, and so on, so that we cannot focus on moving forward. Our flanks are always being attacked, we don’t need to attack each other.

      Know who your opponent is. First rule of competition.




  8. Thunder, you misunderstand me. I know what he promised and what he delivered and failed to deliver. I know how much is his fault and how much is his opponents’ fault and how much is my fault. I am just weary to the point of tears of the demand, the insistence that what he promised is any different than what any other politician promised/promises. That what he delivered is so very much less than what any other politician delivered. Why is he being held to a standard so much higher than anyone before him? Are you seriously saying he promised more than Clinton? Than any Bush? Than Reagan? Carter? Nixon? and so on? You can’t begin to know the depths of my dismay and sadness and rage that Guantanamo exists still (is that only the President’s doing?), that the fukkkking Patriot Act exists still (is that only the President’s doing?), that fukkkking billionaires pay less in tax that you or I do (is that the only President’s doing?) I DON’T what to cut the President any more slack than he deserves, but neither do I want to claim (or ignore the claims of others) that he’s as bad as eleventyseven hitlers. Especially on a site that purports to mock, to snark, and like that. My previous comments were mean, and I meant them to be mean. But I am sooo very weary. I’ll go away again. I’m not THAT mad at you all. I mean it. sjelly


  9. SkinnyDennis: April 8th, 2012 at 10:57 am
    Really? Grassley is an asshat, but if I had 1 more gas mower, you bet I’d be towing them both with my lawn tractor. This country was built on stupid ideas.

    By the way I was Happy Acres (my ‘hood) Lawn Tractor Races champion 5 years running.

    Wow, no shit, man. Y’know, I’m just thinking… Dave Barry may have covered you guys about ten years or so ago…



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