Oedipus Rex…

Posted by Tengrain September 5th, 2008

Republican presidential nominee John McCain embraces his mother Roberta at the end of his acceptance speech at the Republican National Convention in St. Paul, Minn., Thursday, Sept. 4, 2008. (AP Photo/Paul Sancya)
(AP Photo/Paul Sancya)

…or would that be Regina?

C-Word is so stoned…

Posted by Tengrain September 5th, 2008

Republican presidential candidate John McCain and his wife Cindy wave after McCain's speech at the Republican National Convention in St Paul, Minnesota, on September 4. (AFP/Robyn Beck)
(AFP/Robyn Beck)

…that I can see her flashback!

The candidates reacts as Bristol…

Posted by Tengrain September 5th, 2008

Republican presidential candidate Sen. John McCain, R-Ariz., and vice presidential candidate Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin attend a rally, Friday, Sept. 5, 2008, in Cedarburg, Wis. (AP Photo/Morry Gash)
(AP Photo/Morry Gash)

…breast feeds her baby brother.

“Puttin’ on the Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitz”

Posted by Tengrain September 5th, 2008

Republican presidential nominee Senator John McCain reacts as he accepts the Republican presidential nomination at the 2008 Republican National Convention in St. Paul, Minnesota September 4, 2008. (John Gress/Reuters)
(John Gress/Reuters)

(Apologies again to Mel Brooks.)

Looks like a square dance…

Posted by Tengrain September 5th, 2008

U.S. Republican presidential nominee Senator John McCain (R-AZ) (C) and Republican vice-presidential nominee Alaska Governor Sarah Palin (L) greet the crowds lining the streets after a campaign stop in Cedarburg, Wisconsin, September 5, 2008. REUTERS/Brian Snyder (UNITED STATES) US PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION CAMPAIGN 2008 (USA)
REUTERS/Brian

…and she brought the square and he brought the ho.

Whoopsie #2

Posted by Tengrain September 5th, 2008

So, Mr. Ridge, what is the difference between Chimpy and Mad Dog?

How to keep track of the Palin Scandals

Posted by TexBetsy September 5th, 2008

I KNOW! There are SO many of them! But the good folks over at YOU ARE DUMB came up with a great way to learn them —- PALIN Bingo!

As a teacher, I know that kids learn best when they’re having fun, so here’s your chance to learn more about Sarah Palin.

And Palin Was Her Name-O

Main Column | Election 2008 | Politics | Republicans

Republicans, 3 September 2008

Memo to my readers: I AM HERE FOR YOU.

We interrupt our regular coverage of the Republican National Convention with this important public service. Have you been having a difficult time keeping track of the myriad problems, controversies, and character flaws exposed when John McCain nominated Alaska governor Sarah Palin as his vice-president? Well, when life hands you stupid lemons, make stupid lemonade. Turn your confusion into a fun party game with SARAH PALIN BINGO.

Offered exclusively from your friends at You Are Dumb Dot Net, SARAH PALIN BINGO lets you play along with your favorite cable news broadcast. Just get some tokens, watch the reporting, and mark off every scandal or horrifying policy position that gets mentioned! Get five in a row and you win! Plus, as a special bonus, since she’s his “soul mate”, John McCain is giving you the center square just for playing.

If you’d like to print out the gameboard, feel free to click on it for a PDF version. Amuse your friends and annoy your enemies with SARAH PALIN BINGO.

NOTE: One game of SARAH PALIN BINGO should take one hour on MSNBC, three hours on CNN, and up to a month or more on FOX News.

Due to the ever-increasing flood of information regarding Sarah Palin’s fuckwittery, this edition of Sarah Palin Bingo is only current as of 12:00 p.m., Tuesday, September 2. Additional scandals, such as claiming to have visited Ireland when her plane only stopped there to refuel, may be addressed in the future.

The scissorhead winner gets two drinks of his or her choice. Tengrain’s buying.

h/t Watertiger

MPS Exclusive! Mad Dog’s phone call to Palin!

Posted by Tengrain September 4th, 2008

OK, it is really from the brilliant 23×6.

(Hat tip to Raceynora)

Snarky Post of the Day goes to…

Posted by Tengrain September 4th, 2008

…Pissed in NYC for the YouTube she found. I have not guffawed like that for days.

If I cannot believe it’s not a Democracy isn’t one of your daily stops, it ought to be.

You know that IMAGE is the only thing that matters when ….

Posted by TexBetsy September 4th, 2008

…. even the heroes are taken from stock footage and not real heroes. My bold.

CBS News Investigates

Fake Soldiers Used In RNC Video

Patriotic Montage Shown At RNC Featured Actors Hired For One Day Shoot, Not Military

It was a video that was supposed to elicit soaring patriotism and real emotions about the Pledge of Allegiance. But to do that, it used fake soldiers and a staged military funeral instead of the real thing.

On Tuesday night, 15-year-old Victoria Blackstone, a sophomore at the St. Agnes School in St. Paul, led the crowd at the Xcel Energy Center in the Pledge of Allegiance. The audience heard her 434-word essay, “Pledging myself to the Flag of the United States of America,” an essay she’d entered in the “Wave the Stars & Stripes” essay contest and won. The RNC turned that essay into a three and a half minute video, a visually stirring montage rolling over Victoria’s words about sharing the Pledge with Americans who have stood at important moments in history.

There’s the Continental Congress…A real WWII vet…Photos of workers at Ground Zero. A close-up of a folded flag presented to a grieving widow at a military funeral… profiles of soldiers swelling with pride in slo-motion.

But CBS News found that the footage of the ‘funeral’ and soldiers is what is called ‘stock’ footage. The soldiers were actors and the funeral scene was from a one-day film shoot, produced in June. No real soldiers were used during production.

The footage, sold by stock-film house Getty Images was produced by a commercial filmmaker in Chicago. Both Getty and the production company, Mr. Big Films, confirmed that the footage was shot on spec and sold to the Republican National Committee.

One of the actors, Perry Denton of Chicago, Ill. also confirmed that he was hired on a day-rate as an actor for the shoot and told CBS News he was surprised to learn the footage was shown at the convention.

A little wager…

Posted by Tengrain September 4th, 2008


Original pix: (Rick Wilking/Reuters)

Uh-oh… the rumor mills will spin away!

Posted by Tengrain September 4th, 2008

Levi Johnston, kisses Trig, brother of his girlfiend Sarah Palin, as she holds him during the Republican National Convention in St. Paul, Minn., Thursday, Sept. 4, 2008. (AP Photo/Paul Sancya)
(AP Photo/Paul Sancya)

“Shake your money-makers, boys!”

Posted by Tengrain September 4th, 2008

Roberta McCain, mother of Republican presidential candidate John McCain, looks up at her son on stage during his walk through of the Xcel Center where he will give his acceptance speech later during the Republican National Convention in St. Paul, Minn., Thursday, Sept. 4, 2008. (AP Photo/Susan Walsh)
(AP Photo/Susan Walsh)

“Wanna earn $10 the hard way?”

I suspect that the Mad Dog boys…

Posted by Tengrain September 4th, 2008

Cindy McCain, wife of Republican presidential candidate John McCain is escorted on stage by sons, Jimmy, left, and Jack, before her speech at the Republican National Convention in St. Paul, Minn., Thursday, Sept. 4, 2008. (AP Photo/Ron Edmonds)
(AP Photo/Ron Edmonds)

…have carried mom before.

God, they are passing that poor baby around like…

Posted by Tengrain September 4th, 2008

Cindy McCain sits with Republican Vice-Presidential candidate Governor Sarah Palin's daughter Willow (L) and infant son Trig at the 2008 Republican National Convention in St. Paul, Minnesota September 3, 2008. (Rick Wilking/Reuters)
(Rick Wilking/Reuters)

…a USC Cheerleader at a Sigma Chi beer bash, eh C-Word?

“Yes,” murmurred Blam-blam…

Posted by Tengrain September 4th, 2008

U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney, right, and his wife Lynne, obscured, are greeted by Ukrainians dressed in national costumes at the airport upon arrival in Kiev, Ukraine, Thursday, Sept. 4, 2008. U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney has arrived in Ukraine, as part of a tour of several ex-Soviet republics amid an escalating standoff with Russia over the war in Georgia. (AP Photo/Sergei Chuzavkov)
(AP Photo/Sergei Chuzavkov)

“…but I could never finish a whole one.”

“Charlie, call me.”

Posted by Tengrain September 4th, 2008

Republican presidential candidate Senator John McCain (L) confers with Senator Joseph Lieberman and Senator Lindsey Graham during a walk-through for the final evening at the 2008 Republican National Convention in St. Paul, Minnesota, September 4, 2008. (Mike Segar/Reuters)
(Mike Segar/Reuters)

Senator Hayseed makes his move.

I cannot believe the bride wore white…

Posted by Tengrain September 4th, 2008

A 7-year-old male monkey named Wukong (R) and a 6-year old female monkey named Xiaoya are seen during a special wedding ceremony at a zoo in Wenling, Zhejiang province, September 4, 2008. The zoo organised the special wedding ceremony hoping to attract more visitors, local media reported. REUTERS/Stringer (CHINA). CHINA OUT. NO COMMERCIAL OR EDITORIAL SALES IN CHINA.
REUTERS

Palin family grooming tips!

Posted by Tengrain September 4th, 2008

Later, lice-picking techniques!

I’d rather watch…

Posted by Tengrain September 4th, 2008

Republican presidential candidate Sen. John McCain, R-Ariz., leans down to talk to Piper Palin, daughter of Republican vice presidential candidate, Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin, during the Republican National Convention in St. Paul, Minn., Wednesday, Sept. 3, 2008. From left are, Bristol Palin, Levi Johnston, Willow Palin, Piper, and Todd Palin, husband of Republican vice presidential candidate, Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin. (AP Photo/Susan Walsh)
(AP Photo/Susan Walsh)

The Family Feud.

OK, what’s the message here?

Posted by Tengrain September 4th, 2008

U.S. Republican presidential candidate John McCain (L) shakes hands with Bristol Palin (C), her boyfriend Levi Johnston after vice presidential candidate Alaska Governor Sarah Palin's speech to the 2008 Republican National Convention in St. Paul, Minnesota, September 3, 2008. REUTERS/Mike Segar (UNITED STATES) US PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION CAMPAIGN 2008 (USA)
REUTERS/Mike Segar

The GOP says that teaching sex education leads to promiscuity. So instead, they put on stage exhibit A of what a lack of sex education leads to, and now they have made celebrities of a couple of kids who got into trouble. You think this might influence other kids?

Someone call the abused child hotline, stat

Posted by Tengrain September 4th, 2008

Cindy McCain,center, wife of Republican presidential candidate John McCain, holds Trig Palin, Sarah and Todd Palin 's fifth child, as he sleeps during the Republican National Convention in St. Paul, Minn., Wednesday, Sept. 3, 2008. Looking on at right is Todd Palin and at left Willow Palin. (AP Photo/Paul Sancya)
(AP Photo/Paul Sancya)

Someone call Harold Pinter!

Posted by Tengrain September 4th, 2008

President Bush gestures as he speaks with Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal (2nd R), and Baton Rouge Mayor Kip Holden ((R) at the Louisiana Emergency Operations Center in Baton Rouge, September 3, 2008. REUTERS/Eric Draper/The White House/Handout
REUTERS/Eric Draper/The White House/Handout

Chimpy and Bobby-the-Exorcist in the same room together - if that is not a play in the making, I don’t know what is!

You know we have entered the silly season when…

Posted by Tengrain September 4th, 2008

…the AP (the AP?!) suggets that the GOP might be stretching the truth or down-right lying.

I guess the bear…

Posted by Tengrain September 3rd, 2008

…refused to marry the crab.

“Jack, your mother and I are worried about you…”

Posted by Tengrain September 3rd, 2008

Republican presidential candidate Sen., John McCain, R-Ariz., pats his son Jack on the face after Jack told his father to get back to work as Jack packs relief packages during a visits to the RNC delegates hurricane relief activity center at the Minneapolis Convention Center upon his arrival at the Republican National Convention Wednesday afternoon, Sept. 3, 2008, in Minneapolis. (AP Photo/Stephan Savoia)
(AP Photo/Stephan Savoia)

“…shouldn’t you have knocked up someone by now? It would help the campaign.”

“I GET DIBS…”

Posted by Tengrain September 3rd, 2008

Republican presidential candidate, Sen., John McCain, R-Ariz., and his wife Cindy fill bags of relief supplies during a visit to the Republican National Convention delegates hurricane relief activity center at the Minneapolis, Minn., Convention Center upon his arrival at the Republican National Convention Wednesday afternoon, Sept. 3, 2008. (AP Photo/Stephan Savoia)
(AP Photo/Stephan Savoia)

“…ON ANY MEDS YOU FIND!”

Teach your children well

Posted by Tengrain September 3rd, 2008

Piper Palin, left, daughter of Republican vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin, is seen with her sister's boyfriend, Levi Johnston, at the Republican National Convention in St. Paul, Minn., Wednesday, Sept. 3, 2008. (AP Photo/Paul Sancya)
(AP Photo/Paul Sancya)

OK, I’m grossed out now.

Looks like someone…

Posted by Tengrain September 3rd, 2008

Bristol Palin, daughter of Republican vice presidential candidate and Alaska Governor Sarah Palin, stands with her boyfriend Levi Johnston during the arrival of Republican presidential candidate Senator John McCain at the airport in Minneapolis, Minnesota, September 3, 2008. (Brian Snyder/Reuters)
(Brian Snyder/Reuters)

…is gonna get a bump in the pole from the GOP convention.

Pickles and the gang…

Posted by Tengrain September 3rd, 2008

Republican vice-presidential candidate Governor Sarah Palin (R-AK) (L-R) meets first lady Laura Bush and Cindy McCain, wife of Republican presidential candidate Senator John McCain (R-AZ), in Minneapolis, Minnesota September 2, 2008. REUTERS
REUTERS

…try the new upholstery collection at Levitz!